Under Ground (14 page)

Chapter 17

This
morning,
when Mother brought up the gala I was to attend at
William's school, it didn't occur to me that Chi might be there as
well. If it had, I would have pretended to be sick from the get-go.
Instead, Emily prepared me for it, pampering me, and I let her.
Mother hadn't told me about the event until today. It was a
last-minute occasion for her to put me on display for all to see. I
never meant to expose myself with William in front of Chi, but the
moment I stepped on the threshold to the gymnasium, Chi appeared in
my peripheral vision and my heart skipped a beat upon seeing him.
William's hand was tight around mine, making me squirm on the
inside. When I turned around and saw Chi, the look on his face cut
right through me. The pain shooting through his eyes aimed right
for my heart, striking me fast and hard.

That was over an hour ago. I'm now
standing by the punch table, and William hasn't left my side at all
tonight. He's been sticking to me the entire time, and I haven't
found a second to breathe. So far, Chi has stayed away from us.
He's been observing me, with his back propped against a wall and
his arms crossed over his chest. I glance around every so often,
sweeping the room discreetly until my eyes catch his, but the sight
of him just plain wounds me. I'm hurting in ways I never even
thought possible. Something is screaming inside me, telling me to
throw it all away, to just run to him and kiss him right here in
the middle of the gymnasium. But the rational part of my brain
knows that would be suicide.

A friend of Chi's has been
following him around, but Chi doesn't seem to care for him. The
short, black-haired boy has been trying to catch his attention all
evening, but Chi is saving it all for me. His gaze pierces through
mine, daring me to push William away, challenging me to follow my
heart and let it win this battle it's been fighting against my
mind.

After a while, Chi's friend gives
up and leaves, never even noticing what got Chi so absorbed in the
first place. Chi's eyes run up and down my body as a flirtatious
smile appears on his face. One of his eyebrows rises for a second
and falls the next, teasing me from a distance. He's flirting with
me, all the way across the room, right under William's nose. The
recklessness of it all seems to amuse him tremendously. His teeth
come to bite on his lower lip in a suggestive way, and I can't stop
watching. My cheeks burn in an instant, and Chi's lips rise in a
rebellious grin. He wiggles his eyebrows at me. I stifle an
indecent smile and chuckle in my drink.

But this illicit exchange is cut
short when William pulls me against his chest to force a kiss on
me. My heart falls hard from being so high on Chi. It comes
crashing through the ground, shattering, aching in so many
different ways. I close my eyes to shut Chi out. I can't look at
him. I can't take the sting of his pained expression. William
crushes me against him. His mouth devours mine with impure hunger,
and I almost choke on a gagging reflex. I hate it. I hate William's
lips upon mine. I hate that he put them there, robbing Chi of his
rightful place. I hate that he's forcing his mouth where it never
belonged. William's tongue coerces my mouth open, and I fight the
cringing instinct inside me. My lids tighten together as I try to
keep my disgust at bay.

When William has had enough, he
pulls away. I open my eyes and can't help but look at Chi. My heart
splinters into too many little pieces for me to collect. The sorrow
in him is vivid, leaking through the darkness of his irises in
torment and the tight grip of his fingers on his button-down shirt.
His anger is barely under control. The muscles of his jaw move with
fury and his nostrils flare while his eyes bore holes right through
William's skull. He takes a step forward and my heart leaps in
fear. But he walks the other way, right out the door. My breathing
increases and my heartbeat speeds up.

"William," I say, "I need to go to
the ladies' room."

He nods at me. I can't get out of
here fast enough; I almost run out the door. I head into the
hallway where I saw Chi leave. He's walking away, his hands balled
with frustration. I call his name and his back stiffens. His entire
body freezes. He turns around and looks at me. His features are
twisted as if looking at me was stinging him somehow. I take a step
forward, but he doesn't move. I take another one and he tilts his
head toward the exit, his silent gesture telling me to meet him
outside. He heads out and I follow him while shooting a few glances
behind me to ensure no one's watching us. This is a dangerous game
that we're playing, but I no longer care if I lose. I just can't
leave him feeling like this.

I find my way out of the building,
but Chi is still walking, now farther ahead. I try to keep up. I
chase after him outside the gates, but he's gone and is nowhere to
be seen. I just keep walking. A hand grabs mine and drags me into
an alcove. I gasp in surprise as Chi pulls me to him. He presses
his index finger against my mouth in a shushing motion. Then he
wraps both his arms around me, his despair pouring right through
the strength of his muscles claiming me to him. His mouth finds my
ear as he touches his forehead to my temple.

"Thia, I can't do this," he
whispers, his voice filled with tremors. He swallows hard, his
chest rising and falling against mine. "I can't take it. Seeing you
two together like this. I just can't." He breathes heavily against
my skin. "I should leave before I do something stupid."

He tries to let go, but I tighten
my grip around him. "No," I whimper. "Just..." I exhale against
him. "Just hold me."

He obliges and pulls me closer
until we're locked together in an embrace that nothing could ever
tear apart.

"Does he...?" he starts and
pauses. A breath catches down his throat. "Does he always kiss you
like that?" he asks. "By forcing himself on you?"

I don't want to answer. I want to
forget that this ever happened. I don't want Chi to rewind and
review this scene over and over again.

He breathes deeply against my ear,
his eyes closed, his forehead still pressed against my hair.
"Answer me, Thia."

"Yes," I will the word out.
"Chi..." I pull away slightly so he has no choice but to look at
me. "I don't want to be with him. I never wanted to be with him.
The only way for him to kiss me is to force it upon me." I don't
add the obvious. I don't tell him that William doesn't care what I
want, that he's always rough when Chi is nothing if not
gentle.

He sighs. "I just want to break
his neck so badly right now," he exclaims. "I don't want him
touching you. Imagining it has been bad enough. Seeing it for
myself is so much worse. The way he treats you just drives me
insane, Thia. I can't stand it."

I stroke his cheek, and his eyes
close as he leans into my palm and lets me caress and soothe him.
He grabs my fingers and holds them together as he pulls my palm
toward his lips. He kisses it. His eyes meet mine and both his arms
wrap around my waist again, pulling me to him so hard it knocks the
wind out of my chest. His lips meet mine and he does nothing to
hide the grief eating at him. His kiss is all consuming, deep,
filled with distress. And he doesn't stop. He just keeps going
until he can't breathe, until he has to pull away for
air.

"Thia," he whispers the word and
my heart takes flight, breaking from its shackles. The hurt in his
eyes isn't gone though, and I can hardly bear it
anymore.

Whatever he means to tell me, I
cut him off before his words get a chance to come out. "I'll tell
him that I'm sick. I'll just go home," I say and drop a kiss on his
cheek. "I'll leave." I inhale the scent of his skin, my nose and
lips only inches away from his.

He nods, pulls my forehead to his,
and his gaze locks me in place. "Please, don't..." He stops and
closes his eyes, the muscles of his jaw dancing as he clamps his
teeth together, his nostrils shaking with anguish. "Don't let him
touch you. I can't take it. I can't even think about you two like
that."

"I won't," I reassure him. "If he
tries for more, I'll tell him I'm really sick."

He nods again.

"You're so beautiful tonight," he
says as he appraises my blue dress in a simple
once-over.

I give him a tiny peck on the side
of his mouth. "Thank you," I whisper, my cheeks flushed.

He has no idea how handsome he is
either, in his black suit and black button-down shirt, his white
tie the only thing contrasting with his outfit. His hair is all
over the place from his pulling at it all evening, the locks
falling into his blazing eyes. I run my hand through it, to comb it
back into a semblance of a haircut.

"Chi?"

He doesn't answer. His eyes are
still running all over me.

"I can't meet you this week," I
continue, trying my best to ignore these embers his persistent gaze
has stirred back to flames deep inside me. His irises turn dark
when I say it, a brewing storm waiting to strike.

"Mother wants me home every day."
I don't tell him she wants us to plan the layouts of the wedding.
Some things are best left unspoken. "I will talk her into letting
me go to the library on Monday next week. I'll meet you at the Arch
then."

His features reshape with renewed
sorrow though he gives me a small, provocative smile. He presses
his mouth against my ear. "I still like that you chose to be here
with me right now, when he's out there waiting for you. These are
moments he can never steal from me."

Chapter 18

I run to the
Arch that day.
I lied to Mother, and she didn't question me
even when I flushed upon my duplicity. I couldn't wait any longer
to see Chi. Every day, I need more and more of him, like little
pieces of heaven that fate grants me as if trying to make up for
the destiny it has forced upon me. When I get there, Chi pulls me
in his arms and spins us around, my feet leaving the
ground.

"I missed you," he exclaims, "so
damn much."

His lips are mere inches from mine
before he closes the distance between us. I live and die and am
reborn under his kiss. His mouth reclaims what has always belonged
to him, and I'm far too happy to oblige. We don't talk about the
gala. Chi acts like it didn't happen. He just holds me against him,
unable to stop, his lips brushing mine insistently until a cracking
sound echoes nearby. A shiver of dread raises the hair on my
arms.

The distracting noise immediately
threatens our peaceful retreat. Someone is walking close by, and we
are in a dangerous, illegal position. Chi lets go of me quickly,
though probably too late. He tells me to stay put while he goes to
investigate. He walks up to the Arch and looks around it. He goes
one way, then the other.

He comes back to me, shaking his
head. “It must’ve been a squirrel. No one was there.”

I sigh in relief, but the sound
was too loud to be a squirrel or any other animal. I’m sure I heard
footsteps after the crack. I know someone saw us or heard us. I can
only hope it was a homeless person, someone who might not want to
cause us harm or trouble. But my instincts tell me
otherwise.

I want to kick myself.
How
could I be so careless? How could I be so stupid?
For a few
minutes, I forget the way I felt when Chi kissed me, and the old
anguish is back. This danger feels all too real and much closer
than before. There is sudden panic and despondence in my heart.
Though Chi seems to relax, the crease between his eyebrows tells me
that he’s concerned too.

“I think we should leave. It might
be a good idea to find a new place to meet.”

“Yes, but where?”

“The Wilcoxes live really close to
here. Could you meet me here again tomorrow? I don't want to spend
too much time without news from you. We should meet here, and you
can follow me to their place. You’ll walk at a distance so it seems
casual. Then you should only meet me at the Wilcoxes’. This place
might not be safe anymore.”

His words confirm my fear. I feel
faint. Terror rises inside me, making my whole body shake. I can’t
let it defeat me. I take a breath. As if to help me release stress,
Chi touches his lips to mine. It takes effect immediately. I relax
just enough to gather the strength to get back home and act
normally.

"I'll do my best to get here
tomorrow."

“Take care, Thia,” he says and
squeezes my hand before turning around and disappearing.

The walk back to school is a
challenge. I keep turning around to check if anyone might be
following me. I find relief upon reaching the station. This feels
like a test that I was cheating on and almost got caught doing it.
I’m still surprised at how brazen I’ve been lately. I’m not sure
how long I’ll be able to keep up this charade.

Chapter 19

I can't focus in
class today.
I can’t hear anything my teachers are
saying.

"Miss Clay, may I talk to you for
a second?" Mr. Johnson calls out to me after the bell rings to end
the last period. I walk to his desk and wait, with my heart
thundering inside my chest. The other students leave the classroom,
and Melissa waves goodbye while making a worried
grimace.