Under His Skin (20 page)

“What in the name of Alaunus were you thinking?” Brec asked, shaking his head. “You could have—”

“My dorsal fin,”
Mano
gasped, still trying to catch his breath. “Is it . . . better?”

Brec frowned. “What—”

“Yes, a little, but even when you were a shark it was only about an inch high,” Ana interjected. “It didn’t even really come to a point.”

Mano
closed his eyes, lying back on the bed for a moment. “But it is better.”

Ana nodded and Brec narrowed his eyes at her. Either she didn’t see him or she was deliberately ignoring him.

“Ana,” he spoke up sternly. “Don’t encourage him.”

“Yes, it’s definitely better.”

Ignoring him then.
Brec clenched his teeth as the beginnings of anger stirred in his belly. It was all fine and good for Ana to show an interest in healing, but she was taking it too far. He was the healer in this room and he was in the best position to say what was best for
Mano
. Whatever the
toos
was trying to accomplish by
shapeshifting
, he had to know that whatever it was, he had a better chance of killing himself this way than of reaching any goal.

“Then I’m going to try it again,”
Mano
said. His voice sounded a little stronger and even Brec was impressed at how quickly he’d recovered his breath after almost suffocating.

“Your plan is to keep changing form as a means to force your fin to regenerate faster?” Brec
asked,
his voice deadpan.

The
toos
nodded, his eyes still closed as if he were concentrating on breathing.

“That’s ridiculous—”

“I have some horsetail and
shavegrass
,” Ana interrupted, sparing a scathing glance for Brec. “If you’ll wait long enough for me to make it into a paste, I can apply it to your dorsal fin and see if it helps speed the process.”

Mano
opened his eyes, fixing Ana with his ebony stare. Brec shifted uneasily on his feet. There was something about the way the
toos
looked at Ana that he didn’t like.

“I will wait,”
Mano
said finally, his gaze still on Ana’s face. “And I thank you for your help.”

Ana’s face brightened as if someone had flipped a switch and turned on an invisible light bulb inside her. Her eyes brightened and she stood a little straighter, looking almost proud of herself. She nodded at
Mano
and turned to leave the room.

“Wait,” Brec said suddenly.

Ana whirled around, the shine in her eyes turning to sparks of anger as she leveled a death glare at him.
“I would think a selkie would have a little better understanding of how badly
Mano
wants to go back to the sea.”

The words he’d been about to speak stuck in his throat. Brec narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ana squared her shoulders, staring him down like a queen being forced to speak to a particularly slow peasant. “Don’t you get it? He has a life in the sea that he could never have on land. The sea is his
home,
it’s where he’s safe and happy. Being stuck on land is torture for him.” She fixed him with a steady look. “You should know. I saw your face when you came out of the sea today. It was like the saltwater washed away all your tension, all your stress. You looked happy.”

Her eyes darkened with something like pain and Brec had the sudden urge to hold her. She was
right,
being in the sea had soothed his soul. He was a selkie, he belonged in the sea. Being on land for so long had taken its toll, especially with the stress he’d felt trying to save unnamed
skinwalkers
from the misery of a lost skin. Given that she’d been under a lot of stress herself, Brec was surprised Ana had noticed the sea’s effect on him. And he was curious about why it seemed to pain her to talk about it.

“What has that effect on you?” he asked suddenly, following the glimmer of an idea.

Ana frowned.
“What do you mean?”

“You talk about the sea and what it’s like for me or
Mano
to be away from it, how important it is for us to go back.” Brec’s brain whirred furiously, trying to get his thought out before it slipped away from him. “You talk like you know the feeling. What is it that brings you the peace that the sea brings us?” He straightened as his thought took another turn. “And how long have you been away from it?”

The blood drained from Ana’s face, her lips parting as her eyes widened. Brec’s heart pounded a furious rhythm as adrenaline flooded his system. He’d hit a nerve. Somehow, he’d touched on what was behind the skin thefts, he knew it. He had to proceed carefully, or the moment would be lost.

“Ana,” he started softly.

Without a word, Ana spun and fled the room. Brec took a few steps after her, frustration tightening his skin as he struggled to think of a way to reach her. He heard her make her way to the lower level of the house, no doubt gathering the promised herbs from her circle. If he followed her now, she’d only avoid him under the guise of helping the
toos
. Better to handle that situation first and then revisit the matter when she’d had some time to think.

Turning back to
Mano
, Brec sighed. “Can you stand?”

The
toos
narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“If you move to the bathroom, we can use the showerhead to keep your gills ventilated when you’re in shark form,” Brec explained patiently. “It’ll keep you alive long enough to recover the strength to change back.”

Mano
raised his eyebrows and then nodded slowly. “Lead the way.”

Brec waited for
Mano
to stand, assuring himself the
toos
was steady on his feet and then led the way to the bathroom adjacent to Ana’s room.
Mano
didn’t have to stop and rest on the way there, but once they arrived, Brec noticed the
toos
was breathing heavy.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Brec said quietly. “You would be safe here for a few days. If you’re worried that I’ll
cause
you harm—”

The
toos
barked out a laugh and turned his dark eyes to Brec. “Healer, I can sense the touch of your god all over you.” He slanted a sly look at Brec. “And even if you were so inclined to go against your god, something tells me your delightful mate would be less than thrilled with you. Believe me when I say I fear no harm at your hands.”

“She’s not my mate.”

The
toos
rolled his eyes. “Oh, how old are you?”

“Look,” Brec ground out, his frustration and annoyance giving his voice a gravelly quality. “We both want you back in the sea as soon as possible, so why don’t you lie down on the floor and shut up?”

Ana came into the bathroom and both men fell silent. The
toos
gave Brec another thoughtful look before lying down on the floor. Brec couldn’t help, but stare at Ana. The tension rolling off of her was palpable. As she bent down and began applying the herbs to
Mano’s
regenerating fin, she kept shooting furtive glances up at Brec. When she saw he was watching her, she fixed her eyes on the
toos
and didn’t look up again.

You want to tell me something, I know you do. What’s your secret, Ana? Why won’t you tell me and let me help you?

Brec’s gaze burned into her back like a solid beam of heat. It was all she could do to grit her teeth and keep smearing the herbal paste over
Mano’s
head without turning around again. Even without looking, she could see his eyes. Like glistening pools of black water, searching her soul.

“What made you move to the bathroom?” she asked, trying to make her voice light and casual.

“He’s going to get weaker every time he shifts. I thought it would be best to keep him in here so that if he gets stuck in shark form, we can use the shower water to keep his gills ventilated long enough for him to recover the energy to shift back.”

“How thoughtful,” Ana murmured softly. Her mind spun a mile a minute. Was Brec being sincere? Did he really care about keeping the
toos
alive and helping him return to the water? Or was this all an act to keep her from seeing his vengeful side? Ana frowned, concentrating on rubbing the herbal concoction over
Mano’s
shallow fin. Considering what the
toos
did to Brec’s people, she could only imagine how hard it must be for the selkie to understand her desire to help
Mano
.

Ana’s hand faltered, her gaze locked on the small ridge that had once been
Mano’s
dorsal fin. Those men had cut it off. They’d ripped him from the sea, prevented him from returning home. She knew what that was like. Her fur hadn’t been cut from her body, but losing her skin to the flames had cut her out of her world just the same. She couldn’t
regrow
her skin, but
Mano
could
regrow
his fin. And if she could help him hasten the process, could lessen the amount of suffering being cut off from one’s true home caused, then she would do anything she could to help.

“What is it that brings you the peace that the sea brings us? And how long have you been away from it?”

Again she had to fight not to look back at Brec. For the first time since he’d gotten here, she sensed he was close to figuring her out. His words hit too close to home and it frightened her. Not just because she sensed he was closer to her secrets—but because she’d been so close to telling him.

What would it be like to share her burden? What would it be like tell this healer of the ages about her suffering and let him help her recover? Could he help her?

Cold sweat broke out on her forehead. The day she’d held her still smoking skin in her arms, she’d sworn that no other soul would ever lay eyes on it again. Never again would she trust anyone with its secret. Any healer she’d ever gone to for advice had been given only the barest amount of information. She spoke in
hypotheticals
, never revealing her skin. Any time she’d ever thought of confiding in someone, imaginary flames would dance in her vision and she’d have nightmares for weeks, her senses filled with smoke and heat. But when she looked at Brec . . .

Clenching her teeth, Ana tried to tear her mind away from the selkie standing silently behind her. She forced her brain to remember the hatred in his eyes when he’d looked at
Mano
. Even knowing what had been done to the
toos
, even having him lying on a table bleeding to death, none of that had eclipsed his anger. Sure, he’d healed the
toos
, but he’d struggled with it. The smell of cayenne pepper seemed to hang in her nose, reminding her of Brec’s indulgence in his hatred. If he came that close to withholding healing from a
toos
just because of what his people did, how much worse would his need for vengeance be for someone who stole his skin?

“Ana, watch out!”

Pain ripped through her non-bandaged hand and Ana screamed in surprise and pain. Strong arms grabbed her shoulders and hauled her backwards. Her eyes widened as her attention was finally torn from her thoughts long enough to see what was happening.

Mano’s
body surged toward her, his black eyes looking unseeing as he opened a mouth full of jagged teeth. She screamed as Brec’s arms tightened around her dragging her farther away from the gaping maw that seemed to seek her out.
Mano’s
flesh turned grey as his body contorted and swelled. His legs thrashed behind him as they fused to form his tail and Ana winched at the crunch of dry wall as his tail punched through it. The thickly muscled appendage swung back and forth, growing increasingly foreboding as the fins grew taller. His body continued to inflate until it had the hauntingly familiar torpedo shape that so frightened anyone unlucky enough to be in the water with it.

Terror closed like a vice around Ana’s heart as Brec cursed and hauled her back even farther.
Mano
was now fully in shark form, thrashing around on the floor. His jaws swung ever closer to the blood dripping from her fingers. Ana clutched her hand to her chest.