Under His Skin (32 page)

“She’s gorgeous,” Brec continued finally. “But it’s not just that. She’s strong and she’s passionate and she has the potential to help people. Not just heal people, but really help them.”

“You slept with her, didn’t you?”

A sudden heat erupted in Brec’s cheeks and he cursed himself for blushing. Of all the things his brother could have chosen to concentrate on, it figured he would choose that insignificant detail. Micah groaned.

“Brec, dammit, I should never have let you go alone.”

“Oh, for the love of
Manannan
, Micah,” Brec growled. “I’m a grown
man,
I don’t need you to babysit me.”

“Oh, but apparently you do,” Micah snapped. “Brec you’ve already admitted that she’s basically a manipulative thief who will do and say anything to get what she wants.”

“That’s all over now.”

“You can’t possibly know that!”

“Yes I can.”

“How?”

“Because she doesn’t need anyone else’s skin anymore,” Brec snapped. “She has hers back.”

“Back?”
Micah stared at him with confusion twisting his features. “What do you mean she has hers back?”

Brec rubbed his uninjured hand over his face. He might as well tell Micah everything. His brother wasn’t going to drop it until he did.

“She’s a
lisitsa
. She lost her fox fur and she was stealing other
skinwalkers
’ skins to try and replace it.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Your skin isn’t a fox fur,
it’s
seal. Why would she take it?”

Brec stared into space, his mind turning over the situation. Micah had a point. Things had moved so fast when he was with her. Between fighting with Ana, healing the
toos
, and then . . . everything else, he hadn’t really given it much thought.

“I think . . .” he said slowly, “that she just got so desperate to be something other than human, that she decided any skin would be better than nothing.” He raised his gaze to Micah and shrugged. “Anyway,
lisitsas
aren’t exactly plentiful. Ana’s the first one I’ve met, how about you?”

Micah
frowned
his head. “I’m sorry she lost her fur--”

“‘Lost’ isn’t the right word. Her human lover threw it into the fireplace.”

The blood drained from Micah’s face. “
Manannan
forgive us.”

The horror etched across his brother’s face reminded Brec of how he’d felt the when Ana had told him the story. Talking about it again made the story come alive and he couldn’t help but imagine
himself
in the same position. Would his sanity have survived that?

Suddenly Micah shook himself, as if he had to physically rid himself of the image. “I can’t even imagine--I don’t want to imagine--I . . . dammit, that doesn’t excuse what she did! And it doesn’t mean we can just leave her out there to keep doing it. I understand why killer whales eat our people--we’re food and they need to eat to live. But that sure as saltwater doesn’t mean I’m going to let them eat our people.” He lowered his voice, fixing Brec with a serious, but calm look. “And it doesn’t mean that I’m going to let a killer whale
who’s
proven itself to be a danger to keep swimming around our home.”

The implication hung in the air and Brec ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“You’re not listening to me. She’s not going to steal any more skins.” Brec stood, facing his brother. “She doesn’t have to. Didn’t you hear me? I told you, she has hers back.”

“You said her skin was burned.”

“It was.”

“Then it’s destroyed,” Micah argued. “There’s no
regrowing
it, no healing something that’s been eaten away by fire. There’s no way she could have . . .” he trailed off, his eyes growing comically wide. “Brec . . . are you telling me you
healed
a burnt--”

“Not exactly,” Brec cut him off. “Even I can’t heal that kind of damage from a body part that isn’t attached anymore.”

“Alaunus?”
Micah ventured.

“Sort of.
Alaunus came to me in a dream, but he told me himself Ana’s skin couldn’t be healed.” He braced himself against Micah’s reaction to the next part. “But Morrigan had a solution.”

“The Great Queen?”
Micah said hoarsely.

For the first time in his life, Brec was struck by how odd it was that the warriors feared Morrigan. Not that it was hard to understand why they feared her, anyone who’d heard the stories could understand that. No, what struck him as odd was that a man could pledge himself to a deity, could serve and rely on that deity, and still be so frightened of their goddess’ impulses. Brec had rued Alaunus’ participation in his life, had even had occasion to worry that he’d displeased Alaunus, but he didn’t fear the healing god. A soft sense of amazement settled over Brec’s spirit. Was there no end to all he had taken for granted?

“Brec, the Great Queen is not someone to enter deals with lightly,” Micah continued. He fidgeted as if the very thought of his patron deity made him nervous.

“I had no choice. She had a spell that she’d once used to turn warriors into animals using belts made from animal skins. I couldn’t heal Ana’s skin, but I could use the same spell Morrigan used to transform her into a fox--just as if she were any other human trying to become an animal.”

“And it worked?”

Brec’s chest constricted as the rest of the evening’s events came back to him. “I don’t know. I left before she tried it out.”

Something must have shown on his face because Micah’s shoulders tensed even more. “What happened?”

“Morrigan wanted something in return for the spell.” Brec sat up, suddenly remembering what Morrigan had said about him. “Micah, Morrigan said I was born with blood on my hands. She said Alaunus had taken it to mean I would be a great healer, but she said it also could have meant I was born to be a warrior. Do you remember my birth?”

Micah shrugged. “I was only five.”

“So you don’t remember anything?” Brec pressed.

“I just remember your hands looking red. It wasn’t real
blood,
it just looked more like a birthmark or something. Everyone knew it was a sign, but no one knew what it meant.” Suddenly he froze, dread twisting his features. “What did Morrigan say it meant?”

Brec shifted on the couch, not wanting to remember what Morrigan had done. “She said it meant I could have been hers. She wanted to see me fight, to see for
herself
if I should have been a warrior.”

Micah’s face went slack. Brec waited for his brother to launch into his usual spiel about how much their people needed a great healer and how a healer with Brec’s skills was worth a hundred warriors.

It was several long moments before Micah spoke.

“Brec, why don’t you want me to go back to Ana’s?”
Micah asked quietly.

Brec frowned in confusion. “I told you, she’s not a threat. There’s no need to go back there.”

“You just said you didn’t stay to see if the spell worked.
Why not?”

Brec looked away. An image of Ana lying in bed, her throat already darkening with finger-shaped bruises, rose up in his mind. “Let it go.”

“You said Morrigan wanted to see you fight.”

“So?”

Micah narrowed his eyes. “Don’t play stupid with me. Did you fight Ana?”

“What do you want, Micah?” Brec exploded. Anger and frustration fed the flames of his temper and he didn’t try to hold it back anymore. It had been a long, horrible couple of hours, and he just wanted to forget they’d ever happened.

“Do you want the details? Do you want to hear about how Morrigan played us like pawns on a chessboard? That Ana and I fought? Do you want me to tell you all about how I strangled a woman who thought I’d mutilated her skin?” He laughed, short humorless sound. “I showed Morrigan I could be a big bad warrior.” He shook his head. “What a joke.”

Micah was quiet for a long time. Finally, he sighed. “You said she’s fine now?”

Brec nodded, his temper still churning. “I healed her a little before I left. There shouldn’t be any lasting damage.”

“Morrigan is the goddess of war, Brec. I’m sure if you explained everything to Ana, she would understand.”

Brec glared at his brother, suddenly wanting to strangle him too. “I never said I wanted to go back,” he snapped, his heart beating harder at the thought. “Ana attacked me without asking any questions, without giving me a chance to explain. She stole my skin and I forgave her. I
trusted
her. I deserved a little faith.”

“Did she go for her skin first or did she attack you first?”

His question caught Brec off guard. He frowned, his anger momentarily forgotten in his confusion. “What?”

Micah tilted his head. “When she found you sitting in the shredded remains of her skin, did she run to her skin, or did she attack you and ignore the skin?”

The nightmare played itself in his mind, reigniting the pain of that moment. “She went right for me.”

“Then you’re in luck, because she loves you too.”

Brec’s jaw dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me. With everything I’ve just told you, that’s what you have to say to me? I never said I loved her and I sure as saltwater didn’t say I cared if she loved me.”

Micah propped his chin on his hand. “Are you telling me you don’t love her?”

A warm emotion stirred in his heart, but he firmly shoved it away. “It doesn’t matter, Micah. She doesn’t love me.”

“Sure about that, are you?”

“She wouldn’t have attacked me like that if she loved me. Like you said, she went right for me, not for her skin.”

“When her lover threw her skin into the fire, did she attack him first or did she go for her skin?”

He frowned, his brain struggling to remember. “She went for her skin.”

“Exactly.
Because she didn’t love that man.
She loves you. She attacked you instead of running to the pieces of her skin because she was more upset about your betrayal than she was about the destruction of her skin. And the only thing that could possibly mean more to a
skinwalker
than their skin is love.”

It was a ridiculous train of logic—not even logic, it was drivel. Before he could open his mouth to argue, another form broke the water beside his brother. The seal’s sleek grey head was thrown back to reveal a raven haired beauty with bright green eyes. She grabbed Micah’s arm, her eyes wide with panic.

“Micah!
The
medved
grabbed Elsie!”

Micah’s expression hardened and he turned his full attention to the messenger.
“The bear?
I thought I told all of you to leave the skin where he would find it! I specifically warned everyone not to try handing the skins over in person.”

“Elsie was afraid he wouldn’t find it, she was going to leave it on his doorstep. He must have heard her on the porch.” The selkie’s eyes widened even further, her panic seeming to grow with every passing moment. “He looked so angry! He grabbed her before I could do anything and dragged her into his house.”

“
It’s
okay, Cleo, we’ll get her back.” He grabbed the head of his skin and prepared to pull it over his head. “Come on, we’ll grab the others and you can lead us to the house.”

Brec watched the two selkies disappear beneath the water, neither of them taking the time for the niceties of a farewell. Forty-eight hours ago, he would have begged his brother to let him go with him. He would have wanted to be part of this mission, wanted a taste of the glory the warriors lived on. Sadness settled over him as he watched the ripples in the water. He didn’t want that life anymore.

Ana had made him realize that. She’d spoken of the art of healing like a true healer should, with respect and awe. She had more respect for his profession than he’d had his entire life.