Under Locke (67 page)

"Fuck...fuck...baby..." he hissed through clenched teeth. Hi
s
hips pumped faster, still an inch, two inches, three inches. The long shaft stayed buried in me, stretching me around his thick cock. "
Too good.”

Heat burst between my legs, shooting up my spine, down my legs as his piercing hit my clit roughly over and over again. Then, all of my nerves went
galactic
. My entire body exploded with electricity and fireworks that couldn't be described, blood pounded through my ears and I went deaf.

I didn't hear the loud choke that squeezed from Dex's throat, or the
grunts
that he pitched as his thrusts turned frantic, jerky. I didn't see his wild eyes turn down to look at where we were joined, to see him lose his mind as he watched his length disappear. I didn't hear the sound of pleasure that poured from him as he came, warmth and wetness flooding me.

Dex pumped his hips slowly, his breaths hard and gasping as he shifted our combined weight again to press my back securely against the wall. His chest was flat to mine, all sweaty and panting. I squeezed my legs around his hips, his cock jerking inside of me. I rested my face to the side of his as I caught my breath.

The hand on my shoulder made a slippery slide up and down my
ribs
, coming to rest on the nape of my neck. From the waist up, we were wrapped up in each other, and if I could, I'm sure I coul
d ha
ve felt the pounding of his heart on my own skin.

I took a deep breath and pressed my lips to his Adam's apple. "
Can we do that again soon?
"

A chuckle rose up from him, loose and happy, as he rubbed the side of his stubbled face against mine. "You've gotta be the best thing I never knew I wanted."

Oh man.

I was suddenly way too glad that he couldn't see the huge smile that overwhelmed my face. Telling him that he was sweet didn't seem like something he'd like to hear, so I kept my mouth shut and kissed the line of his jaw instead. I wanted to tell him that he was the best thing I never thought I'd have but I kept that to myself. It felt like too much right then.

Too much emotion for one day.

"That wasn't the way I planned for this to go," he
panted
.

"It's okay." I kissed his chin. "I'm not going anywhere." Permanently at least, my brain chose to remind me.

"Fuck yeah." Dex nipped at my ear once more. "Gotta put you down," he said in a way that sounded apologetic. "You made me cum like a freight train, baby. It's a miracle I haven't dropped you yet."

He was right, at least I expected he was after he'd put me down on my feet and pulled out, a gush of liquid seeped out, wetting my inner thighs.
Realization slammed into me.

Shit. Shit!

Sweat beaded on my forehead, my temples. "Dex, I'm not on any birth control."

He made a humming noise as he brought his hands up to cup my face with those darkened, tattooed hands. He stroked the top of my head. "I'm fuckin' up all kinds of shit tonight. I'm sorry, baby. Didn't even think about it." He wrapped my hair around his fist, bright blue eyes intent on my own. "I
’ve always been careful.
You don't
got
anythin
g
to worry about," Dex promised.

Nothing
to worry about
. Oh bloody hell.

There were very few things I remembered about the semester of health class that I took, but the safe sex class was recorded in there.
Safe sex,
they’d stressed.
You don’t want to end up pregnant or taking meds the rest of your life.

"Baby." He pulled on my hair. "Nothin' to worry about. I
’ve never…” Dex looked awkward for a moment, because
yeah
, I definitely wanted to hear about him having sex with other people right after he was with me. Not. “You’re the only one. Ever.
We'll figure out the rest, all right?"

Well, it was done and over with. My period was coming in no time, so my chances of ovulating...I should be fine. Plus, I was
‘the only one.’ He wouldn’t lie to me about something so personal.
The calm look on Dex's face was my reassurance that things would be okay. At least this something would be okay, maybe not everything in general.

I nodded into his throat. "I know."

He nodded right back, smiling just a little as he swept a palm down my ass to cup it. "Good." With a soft sigh, Dex kissed my chin. "
Shower time.
"

I rubbed my thighs together, the sticky fluid coating skin. "Good idea."

Dex was silent as he turned on the water, leading me into the large tub. Wide, suspecting eyes glanced over the deep, colorful bruises on the hip I’d landed on.

He mumbled something in a harsh voice but didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t touch the injured parts of my body. Dex washed my hair and back with slow, gentle, sudsy hands. His palm skimmed over the scarring of my arm, but he didn't pay too much attention to it. The only indication he gave that there was something wrong was the
nerve
that popped continuously under his eye.

I waited next to him while he rinsed off, running my eyes over the parts of Uriel that looped on his back. So much even, smooth skin everywhere. I couldn't stop looking him over. His wide, muscled back. Narrow hips. The meaty shaft of his dick laying semi-hard on his thigh. I took the soap from him and lathered my hands, rubbing over the colorful and not so colorful parts of his chest. Over the dark and not-so-dark colors of both his arms.

Dex just stood there, outstretched
limbs
letting me get to him. Thighs. Knees. Calves. Even
his
feet. I flashed him smiles every time I got to a different body part, smiles he returned to me genuinely.

I didn’t have any words left
by that point, or even after he helped me dry off.

A few moments later, he’d led me back to his bedroom and deposited himself on the edge of his bed—naked—draping me over his lap casually. One arm went around my back and the other faced palm down on my thigh. Up and down he stroked the bare skin.

Dex didn’t talk as he kissed my forehead and my nose so gently it worried me. He didn’t say anything when I winced after he’d accidentally grabbed my bad hip. And he didn’t say a vowel or a consonant when he tried to brush a hand through my hair.

But when he tilted my face up to his, eyes intense on mine,
my strength screamed its end
.

“You okay, babe?” he whispered, and I knew he wasn't talking about what we'd just done in the bathroom.

My nod was reluctant.

Dex pressed his cheek to my forehead. “That's my girl.” His voice was a quiver.

That undesirable fear from earlier crept over my bare skin. I'd been told my entire life that I was worth something. That I mattered. Between
yia-yia
and Sonny, the two had never let me feel like I was worth anything less than gold. And I valued myself, I did. While I wasn't talented, a genius, or really good at anything, I was smart enough and hard-working enough to make up for my other weaknesses.

But in that moment, with the weight of the mess my father had brought down into my life, and the acceptance that it had all cascaded into other people's lives, I suddenly felt unsure. I'd known people who had left others for less.

All Dex had done was help me from... well, nearly from the beginning. And everyone else before Dex that had cared about me had done the same and more.

Something that resembled fear gripped my neck in an intangible hold. “I'm so sorry.” The words were choked from a place in me that I usually stashed all of my regrets and worries. All I did was cause Dex headaches. Make him lose money. Time. Patience and credibility. He was under no obligation to put up with my shit. "I'm such a pain in the ass."

His entire body tensed. “Iris.”

I shifted to set my cheek against his. “You know my mom knew she had growths before she went to the doctor? She waited because we were always broke. Because I was sick and she had to pay my medical bills."

It was a miracle I wasn't sobbing as I spilled these things I shoved deep in me. "And my poor
yia-yia
had to sell her house so that we wouldn't go bankrupt when I got sick again. I had to come move in with Sonny because I was broke. And now you and the guys are suffering through all of this shit because of me."

Guilt, guilt, guilty, guilt, guilt.

"I'm so friggin' sorry, Dex.
I never wanted any of this. I don't want any of you guys to get hurt. I don't even want to see my friggin' dad. Or get a fucking gun put up to my face. I don't—I don't—” It took every single inch of
determination
I had inside of my gut to keep from letting the broken words turn into a
fractured
cry. "
I
need to go back home to look for my dad."

The hand on top of my thigh
stiffened
, squeezing the lean muscle so hard it hurt. In a flash, Dex had flipped us over so that I was on my back and he was on his hands and knees above me, looking pretty murderous. Those cobalt colored eyes flashed angrily. "No."

"I have to."

He shook his head, staring hard. "No." He blinked. "Fuck no."

"Dex," I whispered, my voice sounding so much more pathetic than I wanted it to. "It's my responsibility. This needs to be over."

"He's there, Ritz, you heard Lu, but you're not goin' back." he insisted.
“‘Specially not without me.”

It was my turn to blink in disbelief. "You'll go with me?"

"Yeah." Dex dropped his face down to catch my bottom lip in his, and if it wouldn't have been for that touch, I wouldn't have felt the way his hands trembled on my cheeks. The way his entire body shook.

I nodded at him, pulled between the urge to burst into tears at feeling so overwhelmed and the need to throw myself at him to feel the warm reassurance only he was capable of. Could I do it by myself? Yes. But did I want to? No.

I was in love with this guy. Completely,
terrifyingly
in love with him. And life suddenly seemed so short again. Would I want to live the rest of my life hiding behind my dad's shadow? Living out his mistakes? No. Absolutely not.

Dex must have seen something on my face that had him dropping his weight down on me. That warm naked body spread over my own nude one, his legs bracketed on either sides of mine, his arms caging me in.
Ohmigod,
Dexter Locke was naked on top of me. His nice, clean groin was resting on my stomach.

Brain dead. I was brain dead.

"You aren't leavin'
alone
," Dex
demanded
.

Oh hell. "I
won’t
."

Holding his weight on one bent arm, he cupped the side of my face. "
You took ten years off my life today, baby,
" Dex said.

Oh man.

"Thought I was gonna have to go to jail for the rest of my life, babe," he whispered
.
His hand cupped my calf, demanding and hot. "We're gonna find that piece of shit you
and Son got cursed with and we're gonna get this taken care of. You and me. Understand?”

Did I understand? Oh yes. I nodded.

Those brilliant blue eyes locked on mine. He breathed, “I don’t know what the fuck I’d do if somethin
’
happened to you.” Dex squeezed my kneecaps. "Scared the
livin’
shit out
ta
me, and I
’
m gonna make sure your pa knows what that feels like."

A tremble engulfed every inch of my skin. It was slow but powerful, eating up my muscles and nerves like it was famished. The moment, his proclamation, all seemed like a dream. Like something that woul
d ha
ve happened to the Iris Taylor I co
u
ld
ha
ve been in an alternate universe, if life had gone the way it was supposed to.

Did I care he was threatening my dad? In that moment, not really. I chose to ignore it because I wanted to be the one to hurt that selfish jerk.

Dex’s hands held me firmly. One hand slipped up to cup my cheek tenderly as he pressed his forehead to my temple. “I don’t ever wanna feel that way again.”

I think my heart cracked a little right then.

“I’m okay,” I whispered, placing my hand over the one he had high on my thigh. I wanted to tell him that I’d never been that scared either but I couldn’t. Not when Dex was opening up and telling me about his own fear. He wasn’t scared of anything. Not roaches, the dark, clowns, scary movies, the possibility of getting hurt. Nothing.

The fact that he’d been scared for me speared right through my gut.

He tipped his head to touch his lips to mine. “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he murmured as his thumb brushed over my cheekbone. When I didn’t say anything in response, mainly because I was so wrapped up in his touch, he kissed the side of my mouth.

I, better than anyone, knew how unsteady life could be, but that was the beauty of it if you recognized the potential ahead of you. I had to appreciate the best things, the good man who intended to protect me, because it was real and present. Feminism be damned. I’d shouldered enough burdens alone, and let me tell you, it’s not easy.

Every nerve in my body was prepped for tears and choking emotions but I wrangled them in. I’d always considered myself strong, but on Dex’s lap with his arms around me despite the day I had, I felt invincible. I didn’t need tears. So I told him the truth that had grown roots right into the untilled section of my chest. Clear, concise, precise. “I know. I trust you.”

The movement of his hand faltered on my back. “Iris,” he whispered to my temple, his voice sounding like a croak.

This man. My heart swelled in a way that wasn't natural.

I squeezed my arms around the warmth cage of his ribs and mouthed the words I wouldn't let out of my mouth into his shirt.

Three little words that held all the power in the world.

Chapter Thirty-Four

"You want me to drive?"

I glanced at Dex sitting there, his wrist thrown loosely over the steering wheel. We'd been in Luther's truck for the last six hours and besides three pit stops, the old man—he wasn't amused when I called him that out loud—had been driving straight. He was like a man on a mission, insulting my slow driving skills the first time I'd asked him if he wanted to trade positions. His answer now, like it'd been before was the same. "I'm good."

I could rattle off plenty of things that were more than good about him but him driving for so long wasn't one of them.

The ache between my legs was a friendly reminder of one of them. As was the memory of his colored skin, and those little round studs on his
L
ittle Dexter, against me.

Ugh. It was all so hot, everything about him. My neck went warm.

"You all right over there?" he asked.

The jerk had a knowing little smile on his face. When he woke me up that morning, nearly spread out over my back, a hairy thigh tangled with mine, he'd been all hooded eyes and smug smiles. He'd ground his stiff erection against my
butt
in
a slow circle.

And what did I do? I let him. So sue me. Even a recently former virgin knew when she was in the presence of a pretty penis. A long, perfectly thick penis.

Hell. What in the world was wrong with me? I'd gone from thinking about sex and having raging hormones right around the time of my period, to being unable to think about anything else besides all things naked-Dex related.

He'd drugged me. That had to be it.

Okay, not really, but still. That
thing
was practically magical.

Unfortunately, the slow morning had come crashing down too quickly when his cell phone started ringing the moment he'd eased himself over me on his hands and knees. It was Luther. And it was Luther's offer to let us borrow his truck that had Dex and I packing up our stuff to head out.