Under the Open Sky (Montana Heritage Series) (58 page)

             
“Now?” Cadey-Lynn’s blue eyes were bleary with sleep.

             
“By the time we get there they’ll be open and we can stop for breakfast on the way down. I’ll take you a pillow and blanket and you can sleep; okay?”

             
“Okay,” Cadey-Lynn obediently stepped into her jeans when her mother held them for her. Amanda carried her daughter downstairs, checked to make sure she had everything and strapped her daughter into her car seat. By the time she made the highway to the interstate she had a plan. They would go to the store, buy the boots and she would ask for directions to the Lazy Lou Ranch. She would then drive out there and tell Cade about his daughter.

             
A year was a long time. What if he had met someone? What if he had married? Amanda swallowed hard; she would deal with that when the time came. She merged onto the interstate going south and glanced at the clock. She was crazy; she had to be. It was nearly four in the morning, she’d had no sleep, and she was running away from home! Amanda laughed at the analogy but she supposed it was somewhat true.

             
Three hours later she stopped for gas and breakfast, Cadey-Lynn was now awake and asking questions. Amanda could only hope her answers were acceptable; they must have been, Cadey-Lynn never complained. At just past nine Amanda lifted Cadey-Lynn down from her seat and took her hand to escort her into the store.

             
“Good morning, can I help you?” a gentleman asked as they entered.

             
“We want these boots,” Cadey-Lynn extended her crumpled catalogue.

             
“Ah, very nice choice. If you ladies will follow me, we’ll just see if we have your size.”

             
Amanda followed the man through the store as her daughter skipped along beside her.

             
“Hop up here little lady, let’s see what size you need,” the man patted a stool. He was an older gentleman, his hair graying and his eyes a warm brown. He had a kind manner and clearly adored kids.

             
“I’ll be right back,” the man stood after measuring Cadey-Lynn’s foot. He returned with two boxes. “Now, I think this one is probably what you need, but if not, we’ll try this one.”

             
“They’re prettier for real,” Cadey-Lynn’s voice held awe.

             
“Okay, how does that feel?”

             
Cadey-Lynn hopped down, walked in circles and let her mother double check the fit.

             
“Shall I put her old shoes in the box?” the man’s eyes held a spark of mirth.

             
“That would be great; thank you,” Amanda smiled in return. Cadey-Lynn spun and turned in her new boots, her gaze trained on her own feet. Amanda had to steer her around displays no less than three times. Amanda waited for the man to ring up her purchase, her heart pounding as she prepared to ask directions to Cade’s ranch. She was so proud for him; he had done exactly what he had set out to do.

             
“Here’s your change. Is there anything else I can do for you ladies?” the man asked.

             
“Yes, actually, can you give me directions to the Lazy Lou Ranch?” she asked as he nodded to an entering customer.

             
“I can do better than that,” the man smiled. “Hey, Cade; these two lovely ladies are looking for your ranch,” the man called across the store.

             
Amanda’s heart leapt into her throat as she turned around. There he was, his long, lean legs eating up the distance between them. She watched surprise register on his face as he came to an abrupt halt.

             
He looked as great as ever, his hair dark and full and blue eyes brilliant. He wore a blue shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows, a western belt, a pair of worn jeans, and boots. He looked amazing and the sheer impact of seeing him again after so long, had Amanda grabbing the counter for support.

             
“Mommy,” Cadey-Lynn tugged on Amanda’s arm, the action barely registered with Amanda but pulled Cade’s attention down. She watched his expression go from merely surprise to stunned; the color drained from his face. Amanda knew what he saw, his eyes staring back at him from a face framed by the same thick black hair he combed every morning. She had the feeling that were anyone to so much as touch him he would fall over like a domino.

             
She watched him swallow hard as he started moving again. Amanda took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves. All the way down here she had tried to plan what she would say. Never once had she imagined they would meet like this.

             
“Amanda, hi,” his voice was soft and his eyes full of questions.

             
“Hello, Cade,” Amanda returned.

             
“Wow,” Cade shook his head. “How are you?”

             
“I’m fine,” she swallowed around the lump in her throat. “We need to talk,” she told him.

             
“We do,” he agreed. “You can follow me to my place,” he offered before squatting in front of his daughter.

             
“What’s your name, sweetheart?” Cade asked as Cadey-Lynn, her eyes wide, clung to her mother’s leg.

             
“Cadey-Lynn,” she supplied. “See, it’s on my jacket. Mommy helped me make it,” she turned to show him the jewels they had attached to make her name. Cade’s gaze slid to Amanda and then back to his daughter.

             
“It’s very nice to meet you, Cadey-Lynn,” Cade offered his hand; his voice was tight. Amanda watched him blink back tears as Cadey-Lynn took his hand and found her own tears threatening. “Would you like to see my ranch?” Cade invited.

             
“Okay,” Cadey-Lynn offered him a timid smile.

             
“Okay, you ladies follow me,” Cade stood. “Hey, Marshall, I’ll come get my things another time,” Cade spoke to the store associate who had politely disappeared.

             
“Sure thing, Cade,” the man waved.

             
Amanda wasn’t sure that her legs were going to work when she went to take a step. Fortunately, they held and carried her to her car where she fastened in her daughter and stood to face Cade.

             
“Blue pick-up’s mine, just follow me,” he instructed. Amanda nodded and climbed into her Jeep; her hands were shaking as she placed them on the wheel.

             
“Mommy?”

             
“Yes, sweetie?” Amanda’s voice was shaking as well.

             
“Was that my Daddy?”

             
“Yes, he and Mommy need to talk and then you two can get to know each other, okay?”

             
“Okay. He’s tall, even taller than Uncle Trent.”

             
“Yes, he is,” Amanda agreed.

             
“Do you still love him, Mommy?”

             
“What?” Amanda glanced at her daughter.

             
“Aunt Jenny says babies are made of love; do you still love my Daddy?”

             
“Yes, I do,” she admitted.

             
“Does he still love you?”

             
“I don’t know, Cadey-Lynn.”

             
“I hope he does; then we could be like Uncle Trent and Aunt Jenny and Angie,” Cadey-Lynn mused aloud.

             
Amanda would like that too.

Thirty-Eight

             
The drive to the ranch seemed to take an eternity, though Amanda was sure it was no longer than thirty or forty minutes. By the time she pulled the Jeep to a stop in front of a modest ranch house, Amanda felt ready to throw up. She sat unmoving behind her wheel for several moments before pulling the keys from the ignition and grabbing the box of letters from beside her. After helping Cadey-Lynn from the car, Amanda turned to find Cade waiting.

             
“Can I help with anything,” he offered.

             
“I’ve got it; thanks,” Amanda assured him. Cade turned to lead the way inside. He led them through a garage and utility room with a work sink before entering a kitchen. A dark haired woman stood at the stove, stirring something in a pot. Amanda felt her heart fall.

             
“Hey, Cade, you’re back soon,” the woman turned, her pregnant belly capturing Amanda’s gaze; she felt all the air leave her body. The woman’s eyes widened as she took in Amanda and then Cadey-Lynn beside her.

             
“Cassia, I’d like you to meet Amanda Jennings and her daughter Cadey-Lynn. Amanda this is Cassia Marlon, my foreman’s wife and my part time house keeper,” Cade made the introductions.

             
Amanda felt her breath return all at once leaving her light headed.

             
“It’s nice to meet you both,” Cassia wiped her hands and offered one to Amanda.

             
“Nice to meet you,” Amanda returned her hand shake.

             
“Could Cadey-Lynn have a snack and hang out here with you for a few minutes?” Cade requested.

             
“Of course she can, I think we’ll enjoy getting to know each other,” Cassia smiled.

             
“Thanks, Cassia,” Cade offered her an appreciative nod.

             
Amanda followed him into a generous sized living area and found herself at a loss as to where to start. They stood staring at each other; five years stretched between them.

             
“You look to be doing good,” Cade was the first to speak.

             
“I am, well, kind of,” Amanda couldn’t even make an intelligent sentence. “All the way down here I practiced what I was going to say to you and now I can barely put two words together.”
              “How did you come to be here, Amanda?”

             
She swallowed hard. “Last night I was reading on my couch, thinking I knew how things were; then Naomi was in my living room changing all that. I thought you walked out five years ago and never looked back,” she told him and watched him flinch. “Not immediately but eventually I decided everyone else was right.”

             
“What changed last night?” Cade, his expression neutral, was watching her.

             
“Naomi found your letters yesterday; she brought them to me last night.”

             
“I’m glad you know the truth, Amanda.”

             
“Me too,” she nodded. They stared at each other again. Amanda felt so frustrated! Why couldn’t she just say what needed to be said; ask what needed to be asked? Instead she felt tears spill over.

             
“My father watched me cry for months on end, he watched me struggle to keep moving forward, and to raise a child alone and the whole time he knew where you were and that you did care. And apparently my brother knew this as well and neither of them ever said anything. Not a year later when I still couldn’t move on, not two years later when I was still crying, not three years later, no; my aunt has to
find
the letters in a drawer,” Amanda, hugged the box of letter close.

             
“I’m sorry, Amanda. I should have come to see you, regardless of your father’s wishes. I wanted to but I wanted his approval and his blessing. In a way I looked to your dad as more of a father than my own,” Cade explained.

             
They only stood a few feet apart but Amanda felt as if a gulf separated them.

             
“I felt you had a right to know about your daughter,” Amanda informed him.

             
“Thank you for that, Amanda. I can already tell she’s amazing.”

             
Amanda smiled around tears, “She is so amazing, Cade.”

             
Amanda glanced down at the box and then back up at Cade.

             
“I also want you to know the truth. I know it’s been nearly a year and a lot can happen in a year, but I want you to know the truth,” Amanda told him. 

             
“About what, Amanda?”

             
“I gather that my father wrote and told you that I was seeing Reece, the new vet, and I gather that he indicated I was staying over there at night. I stayed one night; one night, Cade. I was going to prove that I could move on; that sleeping with him would somehow prove I was over you,” Amanda gave him a brittle smile. “I couldn’t do it. I ended up crying myself to sleep and left the next morning. It was the last time I saw him other than in passing.”