Undercover Alice (12 page)

‘Who else knows?’ I asked, curious.

‘Angus. We’ve been friends since we were kids, and
my mum called him right away. He’s never told a soul, though. And never would.’

‘Is that it?’

‘Pretty much,’ Matt said. ‘Once I tell people my
sister’s dead, I find they tend not to pry any further.’ He looked down at me.
‘Are you horrified?

‘Yes,’ I said, and he looked crestfallen. ‘Not at
you, you idiot,’ I said, quickly. ‘I’m horrified that you had to go to prison
because of what that man did to your sister. It’s a travesty.’

It crossed my mind that this horrendous miscarriage
of justice would make an even better exposé, if I wasn’t working for a paper
edited by a soulless monster.

‘It’s in the past,’ he said, simply, ‘but it’ll
always be with me.’

I stroked his chest and we cuddled up closer. I felt
honoured that he’d trusted me enough to tell me the truth; and ashamed that I
didn’t deserve his trust. I wouldn’t ever tell anyone what he had told me, no
matter how this ended. It was too utterly, utterly sad for words.

Matt’s breathing became deeper and slower, and I
realised he’d fallen asleep. I closed my eyes, and within a few minutes, had
drifted off, too.

I awoke to a knock on the door and, at first I
struggled to recall where I was. Argh, who was that in the bed with me? Oh,
Matt, of course. But if Matt was beside me, snoring gently, who was that at the
door?

‘Alice?’

Oh crap, it was Sarah. I fumbled on the nightstand
for my phone. Crap, it was 8:30am. I elbowed Matt in the ribs and he woke up,
swearing. I waved my phone frantically in his face.

‘Alice, I cannot see what you are trying to show
me,’ he said, blinking and trying to focus.

‘It’s 8.30!’ I shrieked, and jumped out of bed. I’d
forgotten I was naked and I grabbed the cover to hide my body – exposing Matt’s
naked body at the same time. I thought, fleetingly, it was a shame we didn’t
have time to…

There was another knock on the door, louder and more
insistent this time.

‘Coming!’ I called. ‘Two secs.’

‘You need to get back to your room,’ I started
collecting Matt’s clothes from where they lay strewn around the bed, throwing
them at  him.

‘How?’ he asked, catching a sock that I hurled at
him.

‘The adjoining door,’ I hissed, pointing to the door
in the wall.

‘Huh, I hadn’t even noticed that,’ he said. He
climbed out of bed and stepped over towards it. ‘It’s locked,’ he said,
rattling the handle.

‘Arghhh.’ I’d thrown on some clothes now, so all
that was left was to hide Matt. ‘Look, go and stand in the bathroom while I get
rid of Sarah.’ I shoved him inside and closed the door.

Sarah was just about to knock again when I opened
the door; her fist was raised and she gave a sudden start when the door swung
open.

She looked me over, critically. ‘You look like
you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Do you know where Matt is? He’s
not in his room, and our first workshop begins in 15 minutes.’

‘Haven’t a clue,’ I said, breezily. I could be a
good liar sometimes, when it was for self-preservation.  

Sarah looked past me into the room and her body stiffened.
Her face darkened and I turned with trepidation to see what she was looking at.

One of Matt’s shoes was lying on the floor. He must
have forgotten to pick it up as I shoved him into the bathroom. I swallowed and
turned back. This was not good. How did I explain away Matt’s shoe in my hotel
room? Maybe I could say he had asked me to shine them for him. That was
ridiculous, Matt wasn’t the type of person who would ask anyone to shine his
shoes for him. Maybe my heel had broken on the way back to my room last night
and he had lent me his shoe. Not even slight believable, Alice, I thought; it’s
absolutely massive.

Sarah,’ I began, gently, not even sure what I was
going to say but she cut me off with a raise of her hand, turning on her heel
and walking off without a word.

I shut the door and trudged back inside, knowing
that this little episode was well and truly the nail in the coffin of mine and
Sarah’s relationship. What little relationship we had.

I knocked on the bathroom door. Matt emerged,
dressed (apart from one shoe, of course).

‘She saw your shoe.’ I waved my hand at the bloody
thing lying on the floor. That shoe was the bringer of doom and I was tempted
to pick it up and try to flush it down the toilet.

‘Oh well, that’s embarrassing,’ Matt said,
cheerfully, making his way over to collect it.

I rounded on him.

‘Can’t you see she’s in love with you?’ I burst out.
‘She hates me because she thinks I’m trying to steal her from you, and now,
well now she’ll make my life a misery…’

Matt stepped back slightly at the force of my
tirade.

‘Woah, woah,woah’ he said. ‘Calm down. She doesn’t
hate you, does she?’

I sighed in exasperation. ‘Yes, of course she does.
Why are men so blind sometimes?’

Matt shrugged helplessly. ‘I had no idea… you’re
sure?’

‘Yuh huh!’ I said, nodding vehemently. How it wasn’t
obvious to him I’ll never know, but he looked genuinely shocked and confused.

 ‘I’ll need to talk to her.’

I nodded. I’m not sure it would make any difference,
but it couldn’t do any harm, surely, after this morning’s events.

‘Good morning, by the way,’ he said, and bent down
to kiss me.

‘Good morning,’ I mumbled against his lips, and was
disappointed when he pulled away.

‘Look I have to go to this workshop thing,’ he said,
putting on the rogue shoe. ‘But meet me for lunch?’

‘Sure, at 1?’

He nodded and kissed me again, before leaving the
room.

I sat down on the bed and sighed. Last night had
been a good development. This morning? Not so much. Still, I felt like I was
glowing with happiness.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through my
e-mails. Oh god, Barry again. That brought me down to earth with a thud, and I
felt ill at what Matt had revealed to me last night. I’d done exactly as Barry
had wanted me to, I’d got the dirt. But there was no way in hell I was telling
another living soul. Well, except Jen, but I told her everything so she didn’t
count.

‘What the fucking fuck, Alice? Why haven’t you
e-mailed me back for fuck’s sake. I know you’re back from Spain, Hairy Harry
saw you buying your sad little meal-for-one at the supermarket the other day.
Send me a fucking reply or I’ll come down to that fucking office and embarrass
you in front of all your new friends.’

It was now or never. Today was obviously a day of
great drama in my life, so why not seal the deal.

‘Sorry, Barry, I’ve been busy. Look I don’t think
there’s a story here, can’t find any information and no one in Spain able to
help.’

I sent it and turned my phone off. I didn’t want to
read his reply.

***

I wandered about the marketing stalls for a couple
of hours, declining politely any further offers of USB sticks. At one, I headed
to the hotel restaurant as had been arranged. Matt was already there, sitting
at a table, and he smiled up at me as I walked over. I’d missed him, even
though I’d only seen him a few hours ago, and I bent down and gave him a chaste
little kiss on the lips. I could tell he wanted more, but knew it wasn’t an
appropriate venue for a repeat of last night’s scenario.

‘I’m glad you didn’t stand me up,’ he said, pouring
me a glass of wine from the bottle on the table.

‘Would I?’ I asked, in mock horror. Like the thought
had ever crossed my mind – I’d been counting down the minutes until I saw him
again.

He shrugged. ‘I thought maybe I’d scared you off
with my tell-all last night.’

I shook my head. I hadn’t been scared off in the
slightest; it had only made me more attracted to him. I had known he was a
strong man, but to go what he’s been through and have made such a success of
life… I was a little bit in awe.

‘Not at all. I’m glad I didn’t put you off by being
a shrieking banshee this morning.’

He laughed. ‘No, although it was quite a wake-up
call. So,’ he drummed his fingers on the table. ‘I talked to Sarah.’

I stared at him. ‘What did  you say?’ I couldn’t
imagine how he’d even begun to the broach the conversation.

‘I just said I was sorry she’d had to find out that
way, we hadn’t planned for it to happen, and I hoped she wouldn’t treat you
unfairly because of it.’

Fat chance, I thought, but I smiled and took his
hand across the table, grateful that he had tried and feeling that it meant
something about us for him to have spoken to her.

‘Thank you, Matt,’ I said, really meaning it.

We moved on to lighter topics, and I had him in fits
of laughter about a particularly awkward businessman I’d had to interview, who
had ended up refusing to say any more to this ‘rude slip of a girl’. His foot
rubbed gently against my ankle during the meal and I reciprocated. As we
approached the end of the meal, a thought occurred to me.

‘What did Sarah say?’

‘Hmm?’ He looked at me, puzzled.

‘What did Sarah say when you said that stuff about…’
I wanted to say ‘us’, but I wasn’t sure there was an ‘us’ yet. ‘About last
night,’ I finished.

‘Oh.’ He finished chewing a piece of pasta and
looked slightly uncomfortable.

‘Well?’ I asked, impatiently.

‘She said some unpleasant things,’ he admitted.

‘About me?’ I wasn’t surprised. She’d said
unpleasant things to my face before, so I couldn’t imagine what she would say
behind my back.

‘Yes. And me. She was very angry, and I’m sure she
didn’t mean them.’

I loved how Matt always tried to see the best in
people and explain their faults away. He was a much better person than me, I
would have hung her out to dry.

‘What kind of unpleasant things?’

‘Do we have to go into this?’ Matt, said his voice
pleading.

I crossed my arms and looked at him sternly. I
wanted to know.

‘She said I was a fool and unprofessional.’ He
shrugged.  ‘I suppose she has a point.’

I froze, my glass halfway to my mouth. Please, no, I
begged, silently. Not this again.

He saw my expression and said hurriedly, ‘But I
don’t regret it, not at all.’

I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed to stop
panicking or I would drive myself crazy.

‘Good. What did she say about me?’

‘Oh she just ranted about how you’ve been trying to
snare me for ages.’

‘Snare you?’ I said, disbelievingly. I thought
fleetingly that I had in one way – snare him for this ridiculous exposé Barry
had wanted. But I pushed that out of my mind; the thought was unpleasant.

He laughed. ‘I know, it was ridiculous. And she said
she didn’t think I could trust you.’

I felt uncomfortable. Sarah was right. Although I knew
the article was dead and buried, I had still deceived Matt horribly. And I was
still deceiving him. He didn’t pick up on my silence, though, and kept talking.

‘Anyway I told her it wouldn’t have any impact on my
working relationship with her, and I’d appreciate if she could make an effort
to be pleasant to you. So hopefully that’s that.’

How very naïve, I thought. I didn’t think pleasant would
describe Sarah’s general demeanour towards me from now on.

We finished our meal, and Matt went off to another
lecture, kissing me properly on the lips before he left.  I headed back to my
hotel room; there was something I had to do.

‘Are you fucking kidding me, Alice?’ I could hold
the phone at arm’s length and still comfortably hear Dave Barry’s voice. He was
apoplectic and, strangely, that made him seem to swear less.

‘You’ve been there for a month, and now you tell me
you have nothing and you want to shelve the story? I’m sorry, sunshine, it
doesn’t work like that. I decide if something gets shelved. I want you to give
me everything you’ve got.’

I took a deep breath.

‘No,’ I said.

There was a long silence.

‘What the fuck do you mean, “No”’ Barry asked, his
voice dangerously quiet.

That was almost enough to make me cry ‘OK, OK’ and
hand it all over, but I was determined to stick to my guns. I had something
with Matt now, I was sure of it, and I wasn’t going to let this stupid story
stand in the way. I’d get my award some other way and with some other paper, if
I had to.

‘I mean no,’ I said, gripping the phone tightly. ‘It’s
not right, Barry, to delve into someone’s life like this, tricking them. It’s
unethical and I don’t care if it sells papers, that’s not the type of
journalist I want to be.’

The phone went dead. I dreaded to think what Barry
was saying about me, or rather shouting about me, in the office. I feel
relieved, though. I still felt like I had deceived Matt horribly, but at least
I had ended it and maybe I could move forward without feeling so guilty.

***

We all travelled back home that evening, and if the
journey on the way there had been awkward, the one on the way back was even
worse. Only Dave Bishop seemed oblivious to the tension in the air, as Matt,
Sarah, and I sat trying not to make eye contact with each other. When we
arrived at the train station, Sarah left without saying a word. After saying
goodbye to Dave, whose brother had come to collect him (or, more likely, his
tuxedo) Matt and I walked to the taxi rank.

‘Do you…’ he started, then stopped. ‘Do you want to
come back to mine tonight?’

I looked up at him.

‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Can we stop by my house quickly so
I can pick up some things?’

I’d been in Matt’s house before, but it was a very
different experience with him there than it had been when I was frantically
searching for ties and cufflinks. I felt a bit awkward, perched on the edge of
a chair, while he made us a cup of tea. The other night had been so intense and
passionate, it seemed almost funny to be sitting there, talking politely, cup
of tea in hand. He did make a good cup of tea, though, I noticed
appreciatively.

He patted the sofa beside him, suddenly.

‘Come and sit here, Alice,’ he said, scooting along
to make room.

I did as he asked, and, when I sat down, he put his
arm round me, his fingers playing with my hair. This was more like it, I
thought. It was good to be close to him again – it had been hard on the train,
sitting so near yet unable to touch each other. I was even afraid of making eye
contact, with Sarah glowering in the corner.

I kissed him then, and he responded warmly.

 I took in his deep brown eyes, and hair falling
slightly onto his forehead. He really was gorgeous, and I didn’t think he even
realised it, which made him even more gorgeous.

He kissed me, more intensely this time, and I
clambered on top of him, straddling him. I felt his body respond and it gave me
a thrill to know I could have such an effect on I rubbed myself against him,
and he pulled me tighter, grinding himself against me. I left a trail of kisses
down his neck, and then slid my hands downwards. I loosened his belt, and he
helped me pull his trousers off. His boxers came off too, and I immediately
took him in my hand. He twitched, and moaned. I lowered my head and slowly,
teasingly, began tracing circles with my tongue around his tip. He arched his
back and dug his hands into my hair, gasping.  I continued to tease him with my
tongue, one of my hands reaching up to stroke his chest and his nipples.

His hands were roaming all over me, and he had
slipped a hand inside my bra. His thumb brushed over my nipple, and I squirmed
at the pleasure. Deciding I had teased long enough, I took him inside my mouth.
He tasted divine, and I took a moment to savour him. His whole body had
stiffened, and his breathing was irregular. I began moving my mouth up and down
his shaft, my tongue flicking over the tip. He groaned and arched his hips,
trying to push himself even deeper inside my mouth. I shifted angles slightly,
to fit more of him in, and he gasped.

‘Fuck, Alice.’

I kept on sliding my mouth up and down him. His
hands on my body were more urgent, he had slipped one inside my underwear and
was rubbing my clit between thumb and forefinger. I moved against his hand.

Suddenly he took a sharp intake of breath, and I
knew he was about to come. I could feel him throbbing inside my mouth, and I
slowed slightly to draw it out. He thrust into my mouth with a cry, and he
filled my mouth. He grabbed my hair and pulled me even closer, as the spasms
kept coming. I swallowed him, revelling in the taste.

Immediately, he picked me up and flipped me over
onto the sofa, so I was lying on my back. He tore off my trousers and
underwear, which were soaked through, and bent down. One hand reached up to cup
my breast, and his tongue circled lazily around my clit. It was almost too
intense, and my hips bucked as his tongue darted across the smooth surface.
With his other hand, he traced my entrance, sliding gently inside. I panted,
squirming against his hand, trying to get him inside even deeper. His tongue
quickened pace, swirling around my clit. I could feel the pressure building,
and I arched my hips.

‘I’m going to come.’

He plunged a second finger in and I lost control. I
came, hard, crying out loudly.

We lay there for a while, trying to catch our
breath.

 ‘That was…’. Matt began.

‘Intense,’ I finished for him. My legs felt like
jelly, and I didn’t think I’d be able to stand. Matt seemed in no hurry to get
up either, so there we lay, legs and arms intertwined

Eventually, Matt pushed himself upright and I, with
big great effort, did the same.

‘You look exhausted,’ he observed.

I was. It was only 9pm but I felt wiped out. I
wasn’t even hungry, which was unusual for me. I hadn’t eaten since lunchtime
and usually I’d be ransacking the cupboards right about now.

‘I am,’ I admitted. ‘I don’t know why.’

‘Let’s get you to bed,’ he said, and held out a
hand, pulling me off the sofa. He led me into his bedroom, and I clambered
underneath the brightly coloured sheets. The bed smelled of him, and I took a
long sniff of the pillow, wondering if would be weird if I asked to take it
home with me and deciding sleepily that yes, it probably would be.

‘I’ve got some work to do,’ Matt said, kissing me on
the forehead, ‘but shout if you need anything.’

I fell asleep almost instantly.