UnderFire (4 page)

When he touched the sides of her neck with his big, warm hands,
she flinched.

“Easy.” His voice rumbled softly. “I won’t hurt you.”

“I know.” She did know. “I’ve always been jumpy.”

With slow deliberation, his fingers moved into a slow and
sweet rhythm. “Maybe you had a reason to be in the past.”

“Yeah, I did. But like I said, I’m an adult now. I need to
get over it. And I am.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I hear skepticism.” Her voice held disbelief.

“I don’t think you’re over it.”

She bristled but his hands felt so good she didn’t move
away. “Oh?” His massage moved to her shoulders and her muscles felt so sore she
almost moaned. “Ow.”

He backed off on the pressure. “Sorry. Are you sore?”

“God, you’re a mind reader.”

“Not quite. This major I know is a massage expert. She said
quite a few soldiers are having issues with a fibromyalgia-like symptoms after
being under stress. Have you ever noticed this pain before?”

A stab of jealousy bit her. “She?”

“What?”

“The major. Did you date her?”

Jake laughed. “Hell no. She wasn’t my type. I probably wasn’t
her type either.”

“And I find that hard to believe.”

“What do you mean?”

As his fingers kneaded away tightness and soreness, she
became more relaxed. Her body tingled in places it shouldn’t—her nipples went
tight and arousal warmed her between the legs.

“What woman wouldn’t find you attractive?” she asked, her
face going hot.

He stopped the motion and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
“You jealous of the major?”

Did she want to admit this? “Don’t stop the massage. I think
I’m starting to like this.”

He kissed the side of her throat and she shivered in sweet,
warm pleasure. “Oh.”

“Like that?”

“Almost as much as a massage.”

He stopped, and his voice was a raspy, delicious sound
against her ear. “I needed to see you.”

She turned and looked up at him, breaking his maddening
contact with her shoulders. “Why?”

“I was worried about you.”

She smiled, genuinely amused. “I’m okay. Thanks for checking
on me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Frustration made her stand. “Why?”

He moved in close and cupped her face. His hands were
gentle. “Because I saw your eyes last night. They were haunted. I’ve seen too
many soldiers go down hard with that look in their eyes.”

She clasped her hands over his wrists, not to pull him away
but to bring him nearer. “I’m not a soldier.”

“You are. In your own way. You went through a lot when you
were a kid.”

Exasperation made her pull away from his grip. “We’re back
to that again? I don’t need therapy, Jake.”

“I didn’t say you did.” He sighed and moved to the hotel
window. He glanced between the curtains and then turned back to her.

“I needed to apologize for all those years ago. I needed to
tell you that it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.”

Bewildered and a bit worried, she urged him onward. “What do
you mean?”

He scrubbed a hand over his short hair. “Shit, I’m not doing
this very well.” He stalked toward her, coming to a stop nearby. “Okay, let’s
start this at the beginning. When I left after high school and headed for
college and ROTC, I had a lot of reasons for doing it.”

“You wanted to serve your country.”

“Yeah, but it was a hell of a lot more. I wanted to get away
from you.”

Kathleen swallowed around the bitter truth. “I knew that.”
Anger edged around the bad memories. “Remember what happened?”

“It’s printed in my mind. I’ll never forget it.”

She recalled the scene as if it were yesterday. Jake had
driven up to Walker Point where Kathleen and Jake’s best friend Derek were
having sex in Derek’s old car. Very bad, very unsatisfying sex for Kathleen but
at least Derek had had a condom. Derek’s expression when he realized someone
was looking into his car window had been frightening. He’d leaped off of her,
zipped his pants and jumped out of the car. Embarrassed and crying, Kathleen
had dressed hastily while Jake and Derek glared at each other and Jake yelled
at his friend.

“You fucker.” Jake punctuated his angry words by stabbing
the air with his index finger. “What are you doing to her?” Jake’s furious gaze
caught on Kathleen as she climbed out of the car. “Did he hurt you?”

Kathleen’s tears flowed as misery bit a deep hole inside
her. “No! No!”

Jake’s fists balled at his sides and she imagined if she
could see his eyes, they’d be full of fire. “How could you let him do that to
you, Kathleen? In the back of a fucking car? Don’t you have more dignity than
that?”

Jake had left in a huff, screaming away from the scene in
his car.

“It was wrong of me to get so upset the night I found you
with Derek. It was way over the top,” Jake said.

Surprise held her still and at first she didn’t know how to
respond. When he looked at her and waited she said, “We were young. None of us
knew what we were doing. I sure as hell didn’t when I just let Derek take my
virginity. I was hurting because my father was an asshole and beat me and my
mother didn’t protect me. I was hurting because I wanted you and came on to you
that one day and you said we couldn’t be together. I wanted you so much, Jake.”

Her confession hung in the air.

Jake put his hands on his hips, his expression bleak. “But
you understand why I rejected you, right? I was about to turn eighteen and you
were only sixteen. You weren’t jailbait, but almost.”

She shook her head. “That doesn’t fly. You were still
seventeen and I was sixteen when I offered myself to you. Other than our
parents going ballistic if they found out because we were teens, I wasn’t
jailbait.”

Clear frustration passed over his handsome features as he
walked toward her. He was within two feet when he stopped. “Technically, yeah.”

She made a noise that said she didn’t believe him. “You didn’t
just reject me because of that. You’d seen me hanging around with the gang. The
Diablos. Don’t you think that’s the real reason?”

Her heart leaped into her throat when he eased even closer
to her.

“Your father would have crucified me if we’d become
boyfriend and girlfriend, and if we’d slept together you can imagine what would
have happened if he’d found out. He was friends with the sheriff, remember?
Plus, you’d joined that damned gang and—” He cut himself off. “I thought it
meant you weren’t the kind of person I believed you were.”

“When I found out they wanted me to kill someone, I quit the
gang, for God’s sake.” She pushed her hands through her hair, her fingers
trembling as she remembered how she’d run from the head of the gang, fear
bright and strong and so thick she could taste it on her tongue. “I wouldn’t
have done it, Jake. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone.”

“I know. You proved that by leaving the gang. You proved it
by facing them down,” he said softly.

She drew in a shuddering breath, old memories suddenly as
fresh as if they’d happened yesterday. “Yeah, and I paid for it.”

The girl gang had cornered her outside her house one morning
when Kathleen’s parents had left the house early. Three girls had beat the crap
out of Kathleen. Only a neighbor’s intervention had saved her. Cuts and a
concussion had kept her out of school for a week. The worst thing had been that
her parents had blamed her for the entire incident, her father telling her how
worthless she was and that she deserved it.

Regret marred his face as he said, “I’m sorry. When I heard
about what happened I was horrified. I wanted to come back and take revenge.”

“I know you couldn’t.”

Rationally she couldn’t blame him, couldn’t act like Jake
was a knight in shining armor who’d failed in his duties. Damn Jake Frasier for
making her recall the pain of those years and the confusion that overlaid all
of it.

“There’s more to this whole thing,” he said. “That night I
caught you in the car with Derek, I saw you go off with him and I knew he might
try something.”

“And?”

“I was worried. I thought he might seduce you. I’d changed
my mind about us. I planned to tell you I didn’t give a damn that you’d joined
the gang. I was going to tell you that I would make love to you. It all blew up
in my face when I found you screwing Derek in the back of his car.”

Her mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I was caving in. I didn’t care. All I wanted was you.”

Before she could respond to the surprising information that
he’d actually cared for her more than she’d thought, he snatched her into his
arms and kissed her. His mouth was hot and hungry, devouring with a drugging
and delicious chemistry that promised so much. She moaned and as her lips
parted wider, his tongue plunged deep. He stroked, the velvet heat of his
tongue moving against hers instantly hardening her nipples and sending moisture
to her feminine folds.

He drew back and the heat in his eyes sent a rush of need so
strong through her she ached.

“I’m here now. You’re here now. We aren’t kids anymore.
Which way are we going to take this?” His voice was filled with raw emotion. “What
do you want, Kathleen?”

She knew without a doubt, despite the misunderstandings of
the past. “You. Even if it’s only for tonight. Just you.”

With a groan he kissed her again. His fingers tunneled into
the hair at the back of her head, his other arm tight around her waist. All the
desire she’d built up for Jake over the last few days exploded to life,
released by his confession. She kissed him without restraint, arching against
him as he cupped her butt and squeezed, bringing her tight against his
erection. Kiss after kiss, he built her need. His caresses flirted with her,
touching first at her waist, then her ribs, and inching with deliberation upward
to near her breasts. She wasn’t passive—she palmed his wide shoulders and
searched out the rock-hard quality of his biceps and chest. God, he was built.
Not bodybuilder style but long, lean and deliciously powerful. As his touch
explored dangerously close to her breasts, her entire body fired to life. She
writhed against him, tortured by long-pent-up need for him and everything they’d
lost all those years ago. All the misunderstanding was stripped away in a
blinding flash that demanded immediate closure. She could feel it humming
through her veins and taking control. She heard their breathing, now rapid and
urgent, drawing her second after second into a closer connection. She wanted
and craved him far more than any man she’d known before. Whatever happened
after this moment didn’t matter. The Earth could blow up for all she cared. At
no point in her life had she experienced a deeper drive to connect, to give
someone a part of her she’d never shared. Primal need roared as she tore away
from him.

Without preamble she yanked off her boots and threw them
aside. She paused, breath slicing between her lips, and looked at Jake. His
chest rose and fell, his fists clenched at his sides. His eyes burned with a feral
light. Her gaze dropped to the thick erection pushing against his jeans and her
mouth literally watered.

He pulled off his own boots and the pause between them
dropped away. She went into his arms and he buried his face in her neck. Hot
breath puffed against her skin and she shivered in anticipation. As a teen she’d
imagined this moment, designing elaborate scenes in her mind of the how and
when. Of when they’d be drawn together and he’d confess his undying love before
each tender moment brought them into making love.

It wasn’t like that now. Heat burst inside her as she rubbed
against him like a cat and his touch seemed everywhere as he kissed her.
Ecstasy was there, out of reach, anxiety mixing with a driving desire to find
the peak before reality could intrude and life would prove that there wasn’t a
happily ever after. She had to have him now. Now.

Now.

She wrestled with the button on his jeans and he gently
knocked her hands away as he undid it himself. Before she could reach inside
and touch him, he lifted her and tossed her on the bed. She squealed with
surprise and happiness before he came down on top of her and they wrestled from
side to side, kissing and exploring. He shoved her sweater up and expertly
undid the front clasp on her bra. He buried his head in her breasts and the
first lash of his hot tongue over one nipple made her gasp and arch against
him.

“Jake.”

He moaned softly. “You’re sweet. God, you taste good.”

She reached between them and found his cock thick, long and
hard. He was hot and she savored the silky skin over iron. Aching for him, she
lifted her hips and placed his hardness against her clit.

“Oh shit,” he whispered against her breast. “Baby, don’t. I
want you ready.”

Ready? If he didn’t take her now she was going to scream. “Jake,
please.”

He touched between her legs and slipped one finger deep into
her folds. She gasped again, her body so sensitive she thought she’d come apart
at the seams any minute. She was so wet already, so aroused, one more stroke
might set her off.

His attention slipped over her, eager and admiring. “I want
to see you.”

An animal want compelled her. “See me later. Feel now.”

“Damn.” He chuckled softly. “Easy,” he breathed as he thrust
one more finger into her core.

“Oh my God. Jake.” She shivered, trembling.

“So wet.” His voice was raw with satisfaction.

She didn’t think she could be any more aroused as she
clamped around his thrusting fingers. His thumb brushed against her clit and
she rose against him again, a woman slowly going crazy under his lovemaking.

He kissed her and everything changed. Her heart pounded,
blood singing through her veins. He pulled away and she reached for him.

“Condom,” he said.