Underneath It All (3 page)

Chapter IV

Close The Door

I woke up earlier than usual, partly due to the excitement and partly because I wanted to put extra care into my appearance.

My stomach started to turn as more and more students filled up the bleachers.
Why was I so nervous?
I heaved out a small sigh.

The program that was meticulously arranged to inaugurate the new dean seemed endless. I sat before the entire student body on the stage along with my co-student faculty officers.

My mouth dropped open when I recognized the man I hadn’t seen in a week. He came up on the stage, dressed in one of the finest tailored navy blue suits I had ever seen on a man. From his shiny leather shoes to his tie, knotted to perfection, he looked like a man who could close multimillion dollar deals, run a mile in three minutes, and come home and give a good fucking to his lover. I blushed at the thought of him doing exactly that with me.

The heavy, unsettling feeling inside my chest became heavier.

I sensed he had no idea who I was or any hint of recognition from him when he first looked at me.

He flashed me the same dazzling smile that made thousands of contortionist butterflies perform somersaults inside my stomach, made my heart jump instead of thump, and made me smile like a child on Christmas Day. I was losing my breath; I could’ve sworn I was hyperventilating.

He cracked that little smile before returning to his neutral expression and walked to the center of the stage to deliver his speech.

“It is a humbling honor to be entrusted to lead you,” he started.

Tats looked over at me and mouthed, “He is so hot.” I just shrugged my shoulder as if saying
“He looks just fine.”
But he did look quite handsome, I had to admit. Had I been that good of an actress that I hid my emotions so well?

“First, I would like to express my sincere appreciation to my immediate predecessor, Dr. Roger O’Neal, who made tremendous efforts and provided surefooted leadership. May his soul rest in peace.”

His speech went on and on. It was never boring. He occasionally threw out jokes that sent the crowd into fits of laughter. He spoke of new rules and old rules that were still in place, and of the consequences if any of the rules were broken.

Never once did he allow himself to glance my way.

“We have an enormous responsibility in creating a field and a discipline that relates to both science and arts. I will need your help, advice, and support. I thank you enormously for coming and listening today. Thank you.”

He finished his speech and all I could do was stare at him in awe.

“Agata.” Anthony, our Student Faculty President, called. I felt Anthony nudge me with his arm.

“What? I’m listening to his speech.” I scowled.

“Agata, Dean’s speech was over a couple of minutes ago.”

“Err…sorry, what did you say?”

“We are waiting for you; Dean Gates wants us in his office.”

“Oh-okay.”

All eight of us marched down the corridor to his office. Anthony knocked once before we heard him say, “Come in.” We stepped inside to see the dean sitting on his swivel chair, hands folded, and elbows resting on top of his desk.

A large pile of paperwork the previous dean had left now sat on his large desk.

He gave us a curt nod before we sat down in the chairs across from him.

“I have this folder in front of me containing the list of students who have dropped out of the university in the last couple of years. The numbers are high and it is quite alarming.”

All of us were silent. I could tell Lea, our Student Relations Committee Chair, was nervous; her fingers were fidgeting quickly and beads of sweat formed on her face.

“I called this meeting to give you the chance to defend your faculty before I abolish it.”

All of us jerked our heads up and stared at him.

“Now, give me a reason not to obliterate the council. Are you doing your part for the benefit of Gates University and your fellow students, or are you just a bunch of power trippers enjoying the benefits that Gates can give you?”

It felt like the air was sucked out of my lungs like a vacuum.

“Dean, we are definitely aware that high turnover rate can have a large negative impact upon a college’s funding, facilities, and long-term curriculum planning. That’s why we implemented a retention program for our fellow students and it is being supported by each college across Gates,” said Joy, our Student Life Committee Chair.

“We determined barriers that can affect students’ ability to obtain the post-secondary training and education they want. The program is addressing all of those issues. So far, our efforts to increase retention shows in figures and it’s quite satisfying,” added Anthony.

He turned to me and said, “Good. Anything else you want to add aside from scribbling down in your notebook?”

“I’m the secretary of the faculty, Dean, it’s my job to jot down notes,” I replied in a clipped tone.

He was getting on my nerves. If I had to describe him now, I’d call him the spawn of Satan.

“Fair enough.” He stood from his chair and walked to the door. “This meeting is adjourned. Brown-haired boy with spectacles, I want you to submit to my office those figures you mentioned earlier,” he demanded to Anthony.

“Yes, Dean.”

He opened the door for us to leave. One by one we made our way out of his office. I was the last one to move across the room. There was an unsettling quiet in this office and my steps sounded loud against the floor.

“Thank you, Dean.” It was all I had the chance to say before I heard my name being called. I stopped dead in my tracks, but I didn’t turn around to look at him. “Yes, Dean.”

“Close the door.”

Chapter V

Debt

Did he actually ask me to close the door?
I froze where I stood and turned around slowly. I made eye contact with him. I literally couldn’t make the air fill my lungs. It felt like my throat was closing. I swallowed the lump in my throat and bowed my head. “Dean?” My arms were clutching my notebook tightly against my chest.

He gawked for a few moments then leaned back on his swivel chair. “I said close the door once you step out of my office.”

When I looked over, he was smiling widely toward me with the grin that made me stutter. “O-okay, sure…of course,” I mumbled, turning on my heel and making my way out of his office.

A dark low chuckle came from behind the door and I felt so embarrassed.

“I hate you, Reeve,” I cursed under my breath.

A buzz in my pocket startled me. I fumbled for my buzzing phone and pulled it. I glanced down and found a message from my twin brother using an unknown number.

Hey Gats! Mik here. Listen, I will be gone for two weeks cause we’re heading to New York. The band will do a front act at No Direction’s concert! Isn’t it great?

Shit. I immediately called the number. “Hello?”

“Hey, sister! I guess you received my message.”

“Yes! And it isn’t great at all! You’ve been gone for a week and now you’re going to extend it another two weeks. Are you crazy?” My breathing labored as rage started boiling inside of me.

“Gats, listen. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, okay. It’s now or never. I have to go.”

“What about your studies? What about Dad? What about Mom?” I yelled. The students who were still lingering in the hallway turned their heads to look at me as I walked to my next class.

“Agata, it can wait.”

I turned to the corner into the restroom and locked myself inside one of its stalls.

“Mikael, I’m not going to tolerate you this time. I’m not going to forge another medical certificate for you and I’m not gonna lie to Dad anymore.”

“Go ahead, tell him. For once I want to be true to myself!”

I was speechless for a second.

“Agata, please, I don’t want to disappoint Dad, but I want to do what makes me happy.”

I sat down on the toilet bowl and took a deep breath. “I-I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks, you’re the best sister ever!”

“Psh, best my ass!” He chuckled on the other line. “Mik, let me inform you that our new dean is kind of strict. You may want to get your ass back here ASAP if you want to graduate.”

“Nah, I know your charm will do the magic.”

“Oh, you haven’t met our new dean yet. He’s not the kind who will fall for my charms. He is a villain disguised as a hero. He’s the bane of my existence. Ugh! I hate his cruel taunts and his staggering arrogance. He is such—”

I was cut off by a knock on the door of the stall I was in.

“Sorry, someone’s in here.”

The knocking didn’t stop. I gave out a harsh growl as I opened the door.

“I said someone’s in here! What do you…want?” The words coming out of my mouth were fading.

I was met with two piercing blue eyes.

“Can you explain to me what you are doing inside the male restroom, Ms. Ferrero?”

I looked around and saw the male restroom sign hanging in front of the door. “Perhaps I should just…” I said meekly, massively embarrassed, quickly trying to get out. “…s-sorry Dean, I didn’t notice. I was busy on the phone. What are you doing here?” I tried changing the subject and smiled fondly at him.

“I was making my rounds to make sure to be the bane of your existence with my cruel taunts and staggering arrogance,” he said with a ton of sarcasm.

I swallowed and looked up at him for a moment, biting my lip in fear.

“Out!”

I almost jumped out of my skin.

“Now!”

I quickly scrambled out of the restroom and ran to my next class, which, unfortunately, I already missed.

I seriously needed to get a light. I hung around on the rooftop to smoke a cigarette. I brought the cigarette to my lips, sighing as I realized I had no lighter.

“Excuse me?” I asked politely. “Do you have a light?”

The nerdy looking guy looked at my direction and I realized it was Tim Wilson, our running Cum Laude.

Keeping his eye on me, he reached into his pocket and produced what I needed.

“You smoke,” I assessed, eyeing the cigarette in his hand.

His mouth opened, no words escaping for a second. “Well…not really. I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“Because…” He flicked the lighter as I leaned over, letting the tip of my cigarette meet the flame. “Is it because of Apple?”

He laughed, shaking his head.

I felt the familiar smoke calm my nerves as it washed over my mouth, leaving a bitter taste.

“How did you know?”

“I see the way you look at her.”

“Really?” he sighed and fixed his glasses. “Am I being that creepy?”

I chuckled. “Nah, not in a creepy stalker kind of way, but I could tell it was beginning to make her feel uncomfortable.”

“I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.”

“Then try to blink every two seconds if you’re looking at her,” I said, cigarette dangling out of the side of my mouth. I took a long puff, he waved away the smoke and hacked out a few dramatic coughs.

“Thank you for the advice. Let’s just keep it between the four corners of this rooftop.”

“Cool,” I agreed.

“I didn’t know you smoke,” he commented.

“It was more of a want than a need for the nicotine. I’m not a smoker, not really, but I wanted something to calm my nerves and distract me from everything.”

“From Dean Gates?”

“How did you know?”

“I see the way you look at him,” he simply said, shrugging his shoulders before lighting up his stick.

“Really?” I let out a laugh before taking another puff. “We’ve never had this conversation before, have we?”

We both shared a good laugh.

“Am I that being obvious?”

“Not really. Actually, it’s not an entirely worked out theory, it’s just a wild guess that you confirmed.”

I shook my head, chuckling. “You are awfully impressive. Secrets. We all have them, don’t we?”

“They say if you don’t expose your secret, your secret will expose you.”

I suddenly coughed from my own smoke.

***

Senior year had been quite a ride already and it had only been a few weeks. I was super excited for what was yet to come.

When it came to our new dean, so far, so cruel. He was strict and I found him rude.

For the record, he already recommended four seniors for academic dismissal, including Kyle, which was immediately approved by the president. He also suspended six juniors he caught vandalizing the university walls. So much for lowering the high level of attrition.

Looking toward the future, searching for a job is quite possibly the most daunting task one could have. The girls and I fell into this “talking about the future” conversation one day when we were huddled in our room. It could be quite stressful because I doubt myself, and felt like I’m the only person who has no idea what I’m doing next year.

I heard it all—unbelievable job offers my friends have landed. Tatiana was set to go to medical school with a research position. Raven planned on going straight to becoming a physician, and Apple was just planning on taking a year to travel the world.

“How about you?” Raven asked.

“I’m currently in the midst of applying for different opportunities, all of which I’m incredibly excited about. I know I’ll find something I love,” I replied. Half-truth, half lie.

It was really difficult hearing about people who had already figured out the next several years of their lives.

“I’m trying to keep a healthy distance away from the future and live in the present,” I told them.

Suddenly, my phone frantically buzzed; it was almost 11:00 P.M. It was a call from my dad.

“Agata, your mom is in the hospital.”

My mouth dropped open. I almost lost grip on my phone. “W-what hospital? What happened to her?” I asked, so rushed my words probably jumbled together. “I’m coming.”

“Gats, what happened?” asked Tats.

“I need to go to St. Croix; my mom was rushed to the hospital,” I told them with tears welling in my eyes. I grabbed my bag and made my way outside to wait for a taxi.

Fifteen minutes passed and one finally arrived, but with someone on board. The winds were blowing strong and the rain poured.

I had no umbrella, there were no cabs, and my mom was in the hospital. Could this night be any more depressing?

A heavily tinted car stopped right in front of me for a moment. I thought the driver would be generous enough to give me a lift, but my hopes turned into frustration when the car just passed by me.

I was surprised when the car halted a few yards away and drove back in reverse. The driver opened the passenger door and I walked over.

“Damn it, Agata! Get in!”

“Dean.” I was startled but quickly got inside his car. I was drenched from the minutes that I stood under the pouring rain. I was literally shaking and the air-conditioning inside Reeve’s car made me shiver even more.

“What in the hell are you doing in the rain?”

“My mom was rushed to the hospital. Please take me to St. Croix,” I replied, shivering in response. I felt tears in my eyes but fought to hold them back.

He looked at me with a worried expression. He removed his coat and placed it on me.

“I believe this should count as one more debt owed, Agata. I’ll collect on it soon enough,” he stated and drove to the hospital.