Undone (58 page)

And for that, Lena was as guilty as the man who had planted the bomb. Even guiltier, as far as Sara was concerned, because Sara knew that Lena’s conscience was eased by now. She knew that there were no charges that could be brought, no punishment to bring down on her head. Lena would not be fingerprinted or humiliated as they photographed and strip-searched her. She would not be put into solitary confinement because the inmates wanted to kill the cop who’d just been sentenced to prison. She would not feel the needle in her arm. She would not look out into the viewing area of the death chamber at the state penitentiary and see Sara sitting there, waiting for Lena Adams to finally die for her crimes.

She had gotten away with cold-blooded murder, and she would never be punished for it.

Sara tore off the corner of the envelope and slipped her thumb along the edge, breaking the seal. The letter was on yellow legal paper, one-sided, each of the three pages numbered. The ink was blue, probably from a ballpoint pen.

Jeffrey had favored yellow legal pads. Most cops do. They keep stacks of them on hand, and they always produce a fresh one when a suspect is ready to write a confession. They slide the tablet across the table, uncap a fresh new pen and watch the words flow from pen to paper, the confessor turning from suspect to criminal.

Juries like confessions written on yellow legal paper. It’s something familiar to them, less formal than a typed statement, though there was always a typed statement to back it up. Sara wondered if somewhere there was a transcription of the printed capital letters that crossed the pages she now held in her hands. Because, as sure as Sara was standing in the doctors’ lounge at Grady Hospital, this was a confession.

Would it make a difference, though? Would Lena’s words change anything? Would they bring back Jeffrey? Would they give Sara back her old life — the life where she belonged?

After the last three and a half years, Sara knew better. Nothing would bring that back, not pleading or pills or punishments. No list would ever capture a moment. No memory would ever re-create that state of bliss. There would only be the emptiness, the gaping hole in Sara’s life that had once been filled by the only man in the world she could ever possibly love.

In short, no matter what Lena had to say, it would never bring Sara any peace. Maybe knowing this made it easier.

Sara sat down on the bench behind her and read the letter anyway.

FIRST OFF, I WANT TO THANK MY READERS FROM THE BOTTOM of my heart for their continued support. I felt such a sense of purpose while I was writing Sara’s story, and I hope y’all think it was worth it.

On the publishing side, the usual suspects are to be thanked: the Kates (M and E, respectively), Victoria Sanders, and everyone at Random House U.S., U.K. and Germany. Special appreciation goes to my friends at the Busy Bee. I wanted to thank you in Dutch, but the only Dutch words I know are the bad ones.
Schijten!

The Georgia Bureau of Investigation was kind enough to let me go behind the scenes with some of their special agents and technicians. Holy crap at the job y’all do. Director Vernon Keenan, John Bankhead, Jerrie Gass, Assistant Special Agent in Charge Jesse Maddox, Special Agent Wes Horner, Special Agent David Norman and others unnamed here — thank you all for your time and patience, especially when I was asking the crazier questions.

Sara continues to benefit from Dr. David Harper’s many years in medicine. Trish Hawkins and Debbie Teague were again instrumental in giving Will obstacles — and helping me figure ways around them. Don Taylor, you are a peach and a true friend.

My daddy made me vegetable soup when I was too loopy from cold medicine to string two sentences together. D.A. ordered pizza when my fingers were too tired from typing.

Oh — and, yet again, I have taken liberties with roads and landmarks. For instance, Georgia Route 316 in Conyers is not meant to be Highway 316, which runs through Dacula. It’s fiction, y’all.

KARIN SLAUGHTER is the
New York Times
best-selling author of eight novels, including
Beyond Reach
and
A Faint Cold Fear
, which was named an International Book-of-the-Month-Club selection; she contributed to and edited
Like a Charm
. She is a native of Georgia, where she currently lives, and is working on her next novel that Delacorte Press will publish in 2010

BLINDSIGHTED

KISSCUT

A FAINT COLD FEAR

INDELIBLE

LIKE A CHARM (EDITOR)

FAITHLESS

TRIPTYCH

BEYOND REACH

FRACTURED