Undone (The Unexpected Series Book 2) (28 page)

I’ve never been that woman but when Trent Decker makes you feel the way that I do, you change.

My phone rings and I jump up finding that I’ve fallen asleep on my couch watching late night TV. Glancing at the cable box it shows 3:27 A.M. and my heart immediately starts to race.

No calls this late can be good.

I pick up my phone finding Erin’s face staring back at me. Dread consumes me.

I slide the bar over carefully and answer. “Erin? What’s going on? You never call this late. Is everything okay?”

I hear sobbing on the other end and expect the worst. “What happened?” I try to coax out information.

“Alex,” she cries. “Alex is gone.”

“She left again?” I ask. “Why? Why would she leave with so little time left?”

“No. She didn’t leave as in walk away. She died last night at her parent’s house.” She sobs.

Oh my God.

I knew it was coming, but it doesn’t prepare you for when it happens. So much anger I had for her when she abandoned Trent and Jason was replaced by sadness with her terminal cancer. No one deserves to die young, and I don’t know if she would have ever come back if she didn’t find out she had cancer. I’d like to think that eventually she would have. My heart breaks for Jason. He’s only two and won’t have his mother to give him the advice about girls that every little boy needs. To love and cuddle him when he is sick and hold him when he is scared. To show him all the things she has learned about the world.

Tears start to fall as Erin tells me the chain of events. Alex’s parents called Trent a few hours ago. Trent called Mama Decker and she called Erin who called me.

I hang up with Erin and immediately dial Trent’s number. It goes straight to voicemail.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t decide if I should go to his house, offer to take Jason, go to her parent’s house or just stay home and wait.

Deciding on the latter I jump in the shower and then lay in my bed turning my phone all the way up in case he decides to call me back. The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:30 A.M., and I fell asleep with tears staining my pillow.

A loud pounding startles me awake, and my door bell rings incessantly. I can hear thunder crashing and the lightning lights up my room from a storm that must have recently started. I leap up from the bed and notice it’s just past 5:00 A.M.

Nervous, I grab my baseball bat that’s in the hallway closet and tiptoe my way to the door. The banging gets louder. I take a look through the side window and find Trent looking down at his feet while simultaneously knocking hard on the door. I drop the bat and fling it open stopping him mid knock.

“Trent.”

He doesn’t utter a word but throws his arms around me and we crash to the ground in the doorway. His body is shaking with sobs and it’s all I can do to keep us both from lying completely on the ground.

I pull his head into my chest and let him cry as I rub his head and back. I don’t have to ask why. Regardless of their past, Alex was a big part of his life, the mother of his child, and she was way too young to die.

Moments pass and finally he attempts to stand up. I help him along and bring him into the house, sitting him and his wet clothes on my couch. I walk into the kitchen and get a cup of hot chocolate ready just like I know he likes it. When the milk is warm I mix it up and take it to him. He still doesn’t look up at me so I sit beside him and wrap my arm around his waist, leaning my head on his shoulder, as he slowly sips the hot beverage.

I glance at the cable box seeing it’s now past 6:00 A.M.

I risk conversation as he finishes his drink. “Trent…”

He stands up cutting me short. “Don’t.”

“Okay.”

I don’t know what he doesn’t want me to do. Maybe he just wants to have someone to sit with.

“Can I just ask where Jason is?” I ask looking up at him.

“With my mom,” he says walking to my bedroom.

I follow behind him. He’s in the middle of my bathroom stripping his cold clothes off and turning on the water. He steps in leaving the curtain slightly open. I take that as my cue and slip off my pajamas to take my second shower in three hours.

I open the curtain. He must know I’m there because even though he isn’t looking at me he makes room. Once inside he turns around, grabbing me again and bringing me to the bottom of the tub. The hot water rains down on our entwined bodies. When the water runs cool, I turn it off and get us both towels, wrapping mine around myself and his around his waist.

He pulls me by my hand to my bed and indicates with a nod that he wants me to lie down. I comply and he crawls over me and nestles himself besides me.

“I don’t know how to handle all of this,” he whispers.

I throw my leg over his body snuggling closer. “I know. I know. We can figure it out together.”

Five minutes later and after his breathing becomes even and shallow I grab my phone and shoot a text to Erin and Mama Decker that Trent is with me and not to worry. I close my eyes and before I can fall into a deep sleep I hear him mumble.

“I wish that was my baby. I only want you to have my babies.”

~~

I wake to bright sunlight and mentally kick myself for not lowering the blackout drapes. I get up to close them and walk back to the bed finding it empty.

The bathroom, living room and kitchen are all empty as well except for a note taped to the fridge. I’m scared for what it will say but choose to pick it up anyways.

Noelle,

              I didn’t want to wake you. I’m so sorry for bothering you last night. That shouldn’t have happened. Please take this as my apology. There won’t be a funeral for Alex per her request but I will keep you updated on her memorial and cremation. Thank you for all you did for me last night. Just letting me in and being there meant so much to me. We’ll talk soon.

Trent.

I throw the letter across the kitchen and fall to the tile and cry. The note is cold, arctic.

It shouldn’t have happened?

Apology?

We’ll talk soon?

Is he for real? I want to be there for him. It’s killing me that he just left without telling me and not allowing me to help him.

I stand up and walk back into the bedroom. I reach for my cellphone on the nightstand and call Trent’s phone. It rings twice and goes to voicemail. I try it again, this time it rings once and then his recorded message comes on.

He declined my call.

It’s just past noon so I scan my contacts and call Erin.

She answers on the first ring. “Hello?” Her voice is solemn.

“Hey. Do you know where Trent is? I need to talk to him,” I plead into the phone hoping she is on my side. I still haven’t even told her I got confirmation I’m not pregnant.

“He’s right here. We’re at my mom’s house. Hold on,” she says.

I hear shuffling around and some muffled voices. When she returns she sounds more upset.

“I’m sorry. He doesn’t want to talk right now,” she says with disappointment and sadness in her tone.

“Erin!” I yell.

“I’m sorry, Noe. It’s just not a good time. I’m so sorry.”

The line goes dead and I pull the phone away from my ear, looking at it to make sure the call ended.

Deciding that it doesn’t matter how he is told, but just that he is told I pull up my texts and send him a message. If he needs me to be there and is keeping me away because he thinks I’m pregnant I need to tell him.

Me: I went to the Dr yesterday. I’m not pregnant. I was going to tell you today. Please call me. I want to be there for you and your family.

I woke up feeling guilty for not being with Jason when he got up this morning. So, like a coward I left Noelle a note and took off.

Last night was rough. It started off like any other night though. Alex, Jason and I had dinner together but Alex wanted to go to her parents for the night. It was an unusual request but I haven’t been able to deny her much of anything lately. Her whole body seemed to be shutting down this week. I wanted to talk to Noelle and apologize for not being a man and talking to her like a grown adult but was still mad and wanted to stay close to Alex.

I knew that Noelle and I needed to talk about her pregnancy. After a week of mixed emotions, throwing things and some serious thinking I realized I didn’t care if she was pregnant. I love her enough to accept it, just like she accepts Jason.

Before Alex’s mom picked her up she took Jason into the room and I was in mine, listening to the monitor. She read him
Green Eggs and Ham
and sang
You are my sunshine
. I smiled the whole time thinking about Noelle and how I needed to see her, mentally making plans to do so the next day. I wouldn’t care if she kicked me out or not. I wanted to see her.

She kissed Jason goodnight and told him she loved him before closing the door. I walked out of my bedroom and found her leaning her forehead on his door. I pulled her into a hug and she started to cry. We sat on the couch for a few minutes before she began to talk.

“Trent, as a woman facing my mortality I need you to know a few things I’ve learned the past few months.” She started looking down at her hands.

“Alex, you don’t have to…”

“Please, just listen.” Her eyes pleaded with me and I nodded, giving her what she wanted. How could I not?

“Three things.” She held up her frail hand showing me three fingers. “Fight for what you want. Love with every fiber of your being. Never have any regrets.”

“That seems like some great advice,” I said sincerely.

“I’m serious, Trent.” Her motherly tone came out. “All three of those, they apply to Noelle. You want her, fight for her, love her with everything you have and never regret it. Please, promise me that you will continue to pursue her. Baby or not. She accepts Jason and there aren’t many women out there that would. I admire her.”

“You admire her?” I asked confused.

“Yes, because she has your heart and I know for a fact she will be raising my son. Just so you know,” she said lifting my chin. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I know she loves him and he loves her. You will all be lucky to have each other.”

I don’t cry but I could feel the tears fall down my face. I brought her body into mine and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Alex. I know we’ve had a shitty past but I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you too, Trent.”

And those were the last words we said to each other. I did love her. I do love her. She gave me the most precious gift…Jason. She showed me, after a long line of shitty ex-girlfriends, how I’m still capable of loving fiercely.

Then the call came in and even though I’d been expecting it soon I wasn’t prepared. I dropped Jason off at my mom’s house and drove straight to Noelle’s.

Now I’m standing here trying to figure out how to explain this all to my son.

“Daddy, hungry,” Jason sweetly tells me as I make his sandwich in my mom’s kitchen.

“I got it, buddy. Go sit with Grandma.”

He runs into the dining room and sits next to my mother. I finish up his lunch, not bothering to make myself anything since I have no appetite, and bring it to the table.

“Hey, baby boy. Do you need me to do anything?” She asks me as I sit next to Jason.

I sigh trying to hold back more tears. “Just you helping with him is the best thing you could be doing. I don’t think Alex’s parents can handle him during all this. They weren’t too happy about her cremation request but it was her wishes.”

“Well, they can’t go against what she wants, can they?” She asks.

“No. Alex and I already took care of all the preparations.” My stomach drops. “I just can’t imagine having to make your own cremation arrangements.”

I shake my head and the tears spill over. My mom gets up from the chair and brings me to her shaking body. She’s crying too.

“No cry, Gamma,” Jason says with peanut butter smeared all over his face. “Too cute.”

My mom starts to laugh and my tears get thicker and more frequent. That was something Alex would tell him. She would say, ‘Don’t cry. You’re too cute to cry.’