Undying Embrace (15 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Arran was fucked.

Physically and mentally.

He was in love with Gabrielle, and there was no sense in lying to himself anymore. In fact, if not for his lucky slip back into Gaelic while he was inside her, she would know exactly how he felt. She released a small groan of displeasure as he slid from her and headed to the bathroom, but he was back a few seconds later with a warm cloth. This time, she sighed with pleasure and eased to her back when he placed it between her legs, bathing the residual traces of their lovemaking away.

The room was dark, but his excellent night vision allowed him to drink in her creamy, naked flesh. His cock stirred again. The musky scent of their combined sex was a potent aphrodisiac. She rolled to her stomach, giving him a full view of her luscious ass. He groaned and tossed the cloth into a basket on the floor on the other side of the room.

What was he going to do about his beloved Gabrielle? His
annsachd.

His mind demanded he leave her alone. Once she knew the truth about his ugly past, she would hate him. She would despise the fact she’d given him her heart and allowed him to touch her. And there was no doubt she’d given more than just her body to him tonight. He knew her. She would have never slept with him if she didn’t care.
Fuck
. Why didn’t he leave sooner? He would rather walk into the sun than hurt her.

But now…there was no fucking way he could ever walk away.

Arran dragged his palm over the back of Gabrielle’s thigh, then up and over the rounded curves of her ass. Damn, she was so soft. He crept his hand toward the juncture between her legs and dipped in, finding the most delicious temptation. She was swollen, wet, and hot.

“You’re not asleep, kitten,” he announced, permitting a bit of the brogue to roll off his tongue.

Slowly, she rolled and faced him. The passion smoldering in her eyes drove more blood into his groin. His cock pulsed with the fisted beats of his heart. Never pulling his gaze away from hers, he lifted the two fingers that had found her arousal to his mouth and eased them between his lips. Gabrielle’s mouth parted, and her pupils grew large, giving away the heightened state of her lust. Fuck, yeah…and it was all centered on him. When the hell had whatever deity was in charge decided to allow him such a treasure? He wasn’t going to question the logic, at least not tonight. Because for the first time in more years than he wanted to remember, he felt alive.

“Come with me, kitten.” He offered her his hand. “I’ve got something to show you.”

She cocked her head with a seductive grin. “What are you up to?” She slid her palm into his and rose. Her nipples brushed his arm as she leaned in, lifting every hair on his body. Damn, she had no idea the power she held over him. Her lips heated his with a siren’s kiss. One meant to torture, tantalize, and enthrall. And she was a master. A breath away from his mouth, she lifted her lashes. “Can I trust you, vampire?”

The question landed in his gut like a spiked fist. Heavy and gnawing. Always, the assurance stuck at the back of his throat. Blocked by the other reply that scared the shit out of him: hell, no.

He pulled her tight into his embrace, desperate for the feel of her heart beating against his chest. “I would die for you. Never forget that.” He seized her lips in a bruising kiss, stamping his claim on them, on her. Moments later, she was the first to pull back. He loved the sweet sound of her rapid pants and the feel of them against his mouth. Her palms touched his cheeks, bringing his gaze to hers. Tears pooled in her eyes, but this time, the smile beneath the shimmer told him they were a product of happiness.

“That’s the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.” Her hands roamed the planes of his face as if she were attempting to memorize his features. “I’ll never forget, and I would give my life for yours in a second.”

Her words shot like a bullet through his chest, and he jerked out of her hold. “Never!”

She blinked.

Grabbing her arms, he gave her a small shake. “Don’t ever say that. Don’t ever think that way. I’m not worthy of your life.”

Her mouth fell open, then closed again as if she couldn’t process her thoughts. Then finally, her lips parted. “Jesus, Arran.” She slowly shook her head. “Is that how you really feel about yourself?”

Whirling around, he climb off the bed and jabbed both hands into his hair, forcing his fingers through. He sucked in a lungful of air and blew it out—hard. Buying time. Because he didn’t have a damn clue how to handle this. He wasn’t ready to lose her. Arran dragged a palm across his face. He should have known. Should have fucking known. No deity was ever going to cut him a break and allow him something this precious—this good—in his life.

“I take it from your silence that your answer is yes?” He stilled but didn’t look back. What would he find there in her eyes? “Well, that’s a shame, because you mean a hell of a lot more than that to me.”

He rounded on her. “I don’t deserve you. Don’t you get that by now?”

She moved from the bed, rising to her feet like a nude goddess. Her breasts swayed with the rock of her hips, and his balls drew tight. His cock ached to sink back inside her. Her fingernails grazed his chest as she slid them upward, parting the hairs across his pecs and sending chills down his spine.

“Why?” One delicate brow arched. “Because of your past? When you and Logan belonged to the colony in Virginia?”

“What did you just say?” A growl rumbled deep in his chest, and her eyelids widened.

“Shit. I’m sorry.” Arran rushed to her, draped his arm around her, and turned her back into his chest. Her words were stuck inside his head on a continuous replay loop. She knew. Gabrielle knew and had still wanted him.

Arran ran his palm up and down her back, warming her. “How long have you known, and do I even need to guess who filled you in on my illustrious past?”

Moving out of his hold, she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She dropped back down onto the edge of the bed and with one hand, tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “I just learned about what happened between you two when Logan showed up the other night.”

“He had no damn right telling you any of that shit.” Arran knew he sounded like some kind of wild animal, but he couldn’t hold back the growl rolling out along with his words.

“I’m glad he did.”

Arran threw her his best are-you-crazy? look. “Well, I’m not,” he said. “I never wanted you to know.” He turned away and braced himself on the door frame between the bedroom and bathroom. Being with her tonight before he knew she’d known all the dirty secrets of his past had been so much easier. But now…now he didn’t even know how to bring himself to look at her.
Fuck.
He was afraid. Afraid he might see pity or disgust written on her face. So much for the rest of his plans for the night.

“It explained a lot about why you pushed me away for years. But what happened in Virginia was a long time ago. You’re a different person now.”

Whirling around, he asked, “Am I?” In half a second, he was on his knees and in her face. “I’m still a killer.” He flashed his fangs. “It’s been more than a hundred and fifty years, but I’m still the same twenty-nine-year-old male who jumped at the chance to turn vampire. I thought, what the hell, I’d already lost everything: my family to starvation, my humanity to the crimes I’d committed to stay alive. I was so drunk; I didn’t realize that what the female offered that night in Glasgow wasn’t an escape, but an eternity to live with all that I’d done—with what I was capable of doing.” Gabrielle’s hand lifted, and her fingertips traced the length of his fangs, then trailed over the surface of his lips. He groaned and flicked his tongue out for a taste of her.

“You don’t scare me, Arran MacLain.” Her words were barely a whisper, but they thundered inside his mind. “I know you.” She dipped her head and brushed her lips against his. “I’ve felt you inside me, stroking my soul,” she breathed against his mouth. “Felt the pleasure of your bite. You can’t tell me something
so good
can be so bad.” Her lips seared his in a hungry kiss. How the hell had this happened? He opened his heart and kissed her in return, wanting her to feel how much her words, her acceptance, meant. It was the last thing he had expected. She wasn’t running. Gabrielle was in his arms, and she didn’t despise him for loving her.

“Keep your arms around me, kitten,” he said, breaking their kiss. “I want to share something with you.” She linked her arms around his neck.

“Where are we going?”

“Just hang on.” He smiled and pressed his palm to the center of her back, then grabbed another blanket with his other hand. “I think you’re going to like it.”

Closing his eyes, he pictured the night sky above the cabin and the metal roof beneath him. With his next breath, the cool feel of the aluminum under the bottom of his feet signaled their arrival.

She released a long sigh into his chest. “I’m never going to get used to that messed-up carnival ride you guys call phasing.”

He chuckled and smoothed his hand across the blanket, following the curve of her spine. “Open your eyes, lass. I think you’ll appreciate the ride once you see the view.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and nudged her around. “Look up.”

“Oh my!” She gasped. “It’s beautiful up here. I’ve never seen so many stars. And the moon…the moon looks enormous.” She lifted her hand and reached for the sky. “It looks so close. I swear; it’s like I could touch it with my fingertips.”

God, he had to look stupid standing there with the fat grin he knew was on his face. But it was worth it. For her. She looked so happy and at peace. At least for the next few hours, he’d bring peace to her life. Something he never believed he was capable of. Death? Yeah, he knew exactly how to bring it on. But peace and happiness? A week ago, he would have called someone a fucking liar if they’d said his future would be associated in any way with those words.

He shook his head, then leaned over and spread the blanket across the roof behind Gabrielle. “Here.” He tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to the blanket. “Sit down, lie back, and enjoy.” She did as instructed, and he took the spot next to her.

“Wow,” she said, reaching over and taking his hand in hers.

Opening his eyes, he glanced over at the beautiful woman beside him. “Yeah, wow,” he said in return. But it didn’t have a damn thing to do with the moon and stars. He gently squeezed her palm and allowed his eyelids to drift closed, listening to the steady sound of her breathing and the soft beat of her heart.

“Can I ask you a question that’s been on my mind about your time in Virginia?”

Every muscle in his body tensed. He couldn’t help it. He knew there would be questions. But knowing it and having to talk about it were two very different things. Arran swallowed hard and then forced out his answer. The only one there could be. She deserved that much. “Ask your question.”

“Why would you kill the master of your colony and then walk away?” She rolled her head in his direction. Her gaze didn’t flinch from his as she waited for his response. “It doesn’t make sense. You could have forced the colony’s acceptance and taken the power. Logan said you left without an explanation, allowing everyone to believe you were a murderer. Something’s not right with that story.”

“I’m sure he also told you I was the last to join that colony as well.” He turned his gaze to the stars.

“Yes. Yes, he did.”

“I was Derek’s assassin. What kind of reputation do you think I had in the colony?” He turned his head around and faced her. “I killed whoever he ordered me to. It’s what I knew how to do from my days in Glasgow. And when Derek wanted more power, more territory, he came to me.” Arran found his spot in the sky again. It was easier that way. Easier to let the story out if he didn’t have to watch her eyes for a reaction. “There was another large colony a few miles away. Derek wanted that territory too. He was drunk on the high that came with the control he held over so many. One night, he came to me with a brilliant plan. He said he wanted to start a war. He felt a few sacrificed lives within his own colony were an acceptable cost compared to the numbers he’d gain when they won the battle.”

“What did he mean by sacrificed lives? What did he want you to do?” She was a smart woman. He could already hear the sound of her putting the pieces together.

“He wanted me to kill a few of our own and make it look like our rival colony had done the deed.” Arran rolled to his side, facing Gabrielle. “And the name at the top of that list was Logan’s.”

“Oh my God.” Her eyes grew large.

“Logan was one of our strongest males—and a threat to Derek. This way, Derek would take out any challenge to his position and start a war that would bring him more power. A perfect plan, except for one flaw: no way in hell was I going to kill any of our own people. Add that to the fact that he was one insane motherfucker.”

She shot forward into a sitting position, holding her blanket to her chest. “You saved Logan’s life. All this time, he’s thought the worst of you, and you never told him why you did what you did.”

“He would have never believed me. I’m sure he didn’t hold back on the rest of the story. The part that included the time he walked in on me with his female?”

“You’re right.” Her gaze fell to the blanket material she gripped in her fists. “He didn’t leave that detail out.”

“I’m not excusing what I did, or my role in how he found us. But what Logan refused to see was that his perfect intended mate had probably screwed every male in the colony. He wanted to believe she’d changed for him. That night, she had approached Jason and me for the second time in so many days. I was young, and sex made me feel alive, closer to human, because for a few minutes when I fucked…I felt something.”

Gabrielle lifted to her knees and moved closer. She trailed her hand up his abdomen until it rested on his chest.

“It’s no excuse. I should have never touched his female.” He shook his head. “I was wrong.”

She leaned in and placed her lips to his. Her teeth caught his lower lip and tugged before she released him. “I believe you,” she whispered. “We all make mistakes. And you shouldn’t have to pay for yours for an eternity.”