Unfaded (39 page)

             
Marley suggested that I needed to clean myself up and stop hiding in my room. So I took a long shower, washed my hair, and got dressed. Even I had to admit it felt a bit better to be out of my pyjamas.

             
I’d officially gone two days without a vision. There were no more memories. The voice was inside me was gone. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t find answers. The empty feeling grew stronger. I was angry at myself for giving Connor hope and even angrier for not being strong enough to be honest. I didn’t deserve the comfort I craved. I was an awful person and deserved this misery.

             
It dawned on me that even if I tried I could never go back to Connor. I was still being watched all the time. Anique and Sobek weren’t going to stand back and do nothing just because I’d had my heart torn open. In fact, they were more likely to attempt and attack now that we were separated. It was obvious that the others weren’t giving up on protecting me, no matter what happened. How would I be able to explain to Connor when he noticed Seito constantly tailing me through the school hallways or Micah and Lina showing up whenever we went out? I was trapped.

I spent the morning in the living room, wrapped in a blanket next to Granny on the couch. There was nothing on but daytime talk shows but I wasn’t paying attention anyway. I stared at the
television but the on screen conversations slipped past me. Granny was thrilled to have me there a second day in a row. She talked non-stop, mostly about events from her past. It was a good day for her, she even called me by my proper name once.

Around noon, Marley put Granny down for a nap and came back downstairs with her purse.

              “Do you mind?” she asked. “I’ve got some shopping to do. I know you’re not feeling well but she’ll probably stay asleep until I get back.”

             
“Go ahead,” I told her. “I’ll be fine.”

             
“I put some tea on. Do you want some?”

             
“Ok.”

             
She brought me a cup of orange pekoe and I took a sip, burning my tongue. At least it was good to know I could still feel something. Once she was gone I turned off the television but I didn’t have enough energy to get off the couch and go back to bed. Self-pity was just too exhausting.

             
So I sat there, staring at the blank screen until I heard movement from behind. I felt the energy pushing towards my body, testing the waters to see if it was safe. Emotions entered my mind, concern and guilt being the strongest. How dare he feel bad about what happened. The entire thing was his fault. If he’d been honest in the first place, this ending might have been different. He betrayed
me
.

             
“I don’t want you here,” I said without turning around. I didn’t need to look to know who it was.

             
There was no movement behind me but I could feel his heartbeat. I could hear him breathing softly, watching me from across the room.

             
“I said go away!” I screamed. A burst of energy escaped my body, pushing towards him, crackling and burning. The living room became quite hot and the light bulb in the lamp beside me shattered. I didn’t even flinch.

             
When I finally turned, he was gone. There were no signs that he’d ever been there.

I got up and went to the front door. Marley
had forgotten to lock it when she went out. From under the kitchen sink, I found a fresh light bulb and fixed the lamp, cleaning up all the little pieces of glass with the broom from the pantry.

                                                        *              *              *

              Wednesday morning I got dressed and ready for school.

             
I stepped outside just before eight and Seito was waiting on the porch. He jumped up and took a deep exaggerated bow. I couldn’t help it, I grinned, probably the first time in days.

“My bike’s just down the street,” he said. “I didn’t want your Dad to get all freaked out.”

              “Probably a smart idea,” I said to him. “But what makes you think I’m going to school with you?”

             
“Because no girl would turn me down,” he said with a sincere expression. “I mean, come on, I’ve got a hot bike and I’m a total babe. Besides, I promised a certain someone whose name I won’t mention, that I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”

             
“He has no right to pretend he cares for me,” I said. “Not after what he did.”

             
Seito threw his hands up. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m neutral, remember. I don’t care about what goes between the two of you. It’s none of my concern and I don’t want to get involved. I’m just doing someone a favour.”

             
“Ok, let’s go.”

             
As we walked to his bike, I saw Micah getting into his car from across the way. He watched us go by but didn’t say a word. I wondered if he knew. Did they all know? Probably. But he was loyal to Kian just as Seito was to Lina.

             
Amber must have some sort of psychic power because she spotted me the second Seito pulled into the parking lot. I’d barely managed to climb off the back of the bike before she was on me, giving me a gigantic hug. Claire was right behind her, struggling to keep up with her arms full of textbooks.

             
“I’ve been trying to call you for three days,” Amber said. “I’ve been so worried about you. Please tell me what happened. You’ve been gone. Kian’s been gone.” She smacked Seito lightly on the arm. “And where have you been?”

             
“Skipping class,” he said. “Took a holiday.”

             
“I’ve been sick,” I said and I faked a cough for her benefit. “I’ve been sleeping for days. I thought Dad told you?”

             
“Sure he did,” Amber said. “But I didn’t believe him. I thought it had something to do with Saturday night.”

             
I flashed the fakest smile I could muster. “Oh, that. I’m really embarrassed. Can you believe I feel asleep and had a stupid nightmare? It was because of my cold. It made me all crazy.”

             
Amber’s mouth opened wide and she smacked me on the shoulder just like she’d done to Seito, only I think she was harder on me. “Are you serious? It was a nightmare? That’s it? I thought you’d had a heart attack or something. You were screaming like someone was killing you. And then in the lobby with Connor, I’d never seen you so terrified in your life.”

             
“It was a very realistic nightmare,” I said weakly and behind me, Seito snickered. “Can we forget about it now? I’m really embarrassed and I’d prefer it if we never, never, talk about it again.”

             
Amber wanted to say more but Claire nudged her in the side.

             
Connor was waiting for me at my locker. So was Anique. She stood behind him, leaning against the wall and watching. Seito stiffened but I just pretended she didn’t exist. I was not going to let her get to me. No matter how much she followed me around or walked past my classroom, I would not allow her to intimidate me. There were enough people messing with my head.

             
Of course I wouldn’t be that brave without Seito shadowing me and she knew it.

             
“Good to have you back,” Connor said and he leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. Straightening up, his eyes met Seito’s but he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what to think about him yet.

             
Claire and Amber exchanged looks and I could see they were curious about this new turn of events. Connor and I acting like everything was fine and dandy, wasn’t what they expected. I think it surprised Anique too, she moved down a few feet to listen.

             
“Meet me at lunch?” Connor asked, ignoring all the strange looks from my friends. Either he was enjoying all this new attention or simply ignoring it.

             
“Yeah, sure,” I said.

             
Connor smiled again before nodding briefly at Seito and headed off to his class.

             
“You’re back with Connor?” Amber asked. “Were you planning on telling us about this? What about Kian?”

             
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said.

             
“You can’t do that,” Amber said.

             
“I think we should leave it alone,” Claire said carefully. She was trying to be the voice of reason, the mature one.

             
“Fine, sure, whatever,” Amber said. “But I’m going to say this. You never used to be the type to keep secrets, Mai. You’ve changed and I for one am hurt about it. You never answer your phone anymore. You blow Claire and I off. I don't know you at all anymore.”

             
Amber turned and stormed off, leaving Claire and I wondering whether to follow her or not.

             
“Let her go,” Claire said. “She’s not the type to hold a grudge. She’ll be fine by lunch. But she’s right. It’s not like you to keep secrets from your friends.”

             
“It’s not intentional,” I said. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just...” I trailed off. I couldn’t think of an answer.

             
“I know,” she said. “But I’m just saying I hope you won’t forget us when you’re ready to talk. I’ve got to go. The bell’s about to ring.”

             
I watched her go. Seito stood behind me, waiting. I sighed.

             
“Am I really being so awful?” I asked Seito as I pulled my books from my locker. Slamming the door, I started walking towards class. “What am I supposed to do? It’s not like I can be honest with them.”

             
“Why not?” Seito walked beside me, giving a not-so-friendly nod to Anique as we passed.

             
“You’re joking, right?”

             
“Why? What’s wrong with telling them what you are?”

             
I stopped walking, almost causing a traffic jam as students rammed into me. Someone swore at me but I barely paid attention.

             
“Are you aware of how crazy that sounds?” I said. “In the past few weeks I’ve fainted in a coffee shop, gotten into a fist fight, freaked out in a movie theatre and now I’m refusing to tell them that I might be back with my old boyfriend. They already think there’s something wrong with me. They’d never understand this.”

             
“You’re not giving them enough credit. Claire is very intelligent.”

             
“This isn’t a physics problem to work out,” I snapped.

             
“Technically it’s more Darwinism,” he said. “Natural Selection and all that jazz. We’re the superior race, evolved from the original Homo habilis species. I could be wrong, no one really knows who the first Unfaded were. Some of them claim to be older but I don’t believe it.”

             
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed as we entered Algebra class.

             
“As you wish,” he said and gave me another bow.

                                                        *              *              *

             
In Biology, Connor wanted to sit with me but I refused, pointing out that he had Eugene and Seito was my new partner. He wasn’t thrilled about it but at the same time he accepted it.

             
In History, Seito annoyed Mr. Walker by telling him he was wrong about the Japanese influence in the war.

             
“I just think it’s inaccurate,” Seito said. “That book was written from the American perspective. It’s biased. It was a war. What about Hiroshima?”

             
“And I suppose you think you know more than me?” Mr. Walker said loudly. “Let me guess, you were actually there?”

             
“Well—y...”

             
Luckily for Seito, I was thinking quickly enough to accidently knock all my books off my desk before he managed to give his answer. The crash woke up most of the classroom and it sidetracked Mr. Walker enough to forget what he was arguing about.

Lunch time was weird. It was almost like old times. Amber, Claire and I were joined by Connor and Eugene. The only difference was Seito but he didn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest. He spent most of the time joking around with Amber and discussing the upcoming
chemistry exam with Claire. He talked about motorcycles with Eugene and impressed everyone with his knowledge of computers. Even Connor warmed up to him once he realised Seito posed no threat against, what Connor was steadily believing, was the beginning of our new relationship.