Unfamiliar (16 page)

Shaking my head, I forced myself to focus on the assignment. We had to get this done and we had barely started making progress. “What if we move this line up and then add something new in here? I think it’d flow a lot better.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Hailey mumbled, not even looking me in the eye. Her head was bent over as she scribbled away in that planner of hers, and I knew that she wasn’t working on our assignment.

Actually, she had barely spoken two words to me in the last fifteen minutes.

What was her deal? The other day she’d rushed off to see her boyfriend without much of an explanation right after I’d told her about my cheating ex, and now she wasn’t even paying attention. I wasn’t going to lie; I was a little annoyed with her. Hailey seemed like the kind of girl who wanted to do well in class and get good grades, yet here she was barely helping me with our project.

It was really starting to piss me off.

“Do you have anything you want to change around?” I asked, hoping that if I asked her an open-ended question it would get her to talk more.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She was so focused on her planner that she hadn’t even registered my question.

And that’s what finally made me snap.

“Hailey, what the fuck? Have you heard a damn word I’ve said?” I stood up and glared at her, waiting to get some sort of reaction out of her.

Hailey glanced up, her expression blank. “I have been listening.”

“Yeah, sure you have. What was the last thing I said?”

She chewed on her bottom lip and then sighed. “I’m sorry; I guess I have been a little distracted.”

I released my own sigh. “It’s fine. Let’s just get this thing done, okay?”

Hailey nodded and I let my eyes fall back onto the lyrics that I’d been trying to fix.

We only have one night to make this right

To take back what we denied

It’s only do or die, don’t hesitate

‘
Cause we’re trying to stay alive

There was something with the lyrics that wasn’t working for me. Something would have to be changed around a little.

“Do you think the chorus needs to be shortened?” I asked, not really sure what to do with it. Maybe Hailey would have a better idea.

Except, once again, she wasn’t paying attention to me at all. Her lips were slightly parted, her brow knitted as she stared at that goddamn planner like it was a matter of life or death.

This was bullshit. I was done with this crap.

Jumping to my feet, I grabbed the planner out of Hailey’s hand. In the process, a handful of pages were torn out.

“Chase!” she cried, scrambling up to get the planner from me. “Give that back!”

In a complete asshole move, I ripped out several more pages and threw them at her. “There you go!” What could I say? I was mad at her for so many reasons.

Hailey looked like she was close to tears and I started to feel bad. “You can’t do that!” She sounded so helpless and her voice rose in panic. “You just can’t! I need that!”

I was so frustrated, I wanted to break something. “You don’t
need
a planner. It’s a freaking planner!”

“You’re a horrible person! You had no right to do that!” She suddenly came at me, beating her fists on my chest as tears fell down her face. Her skin started to turn red as she unleashed her anger on me.

I guess we both had a lot of pent up frustration toward each other.

I grabbed her wrist to stop her from hitting me. Losing her balance, Hailey fell hard against me.

“I hate you, Chase!” she cried, her green eyes blazing with anger.

“No, you fucking don’t.” My other hand slid up her arm and entangled itself in her hair. “If you really think that then you’re lying to yourself.”

Hailey seemed to have stopped breathing. Her eyes were locked on mine. Our bodies felt like they were fused together—like we couldn’t break free or didn’t want to. Her skin burned against mine. Dirty thoughts were running through my mind—what it would feel like to taste her mouth, to take her clothes off, to run my hands over that curvy body of hers.

Then her eyes darted to my lips and I knew she was thinking exactly what I was thinking. Without a second’s hesitation, I pressed my lips against hers. There was some resistance on her part—she didn’t kiss me back at first, but after a second it felt as though she was melting into me.

My fingers found their way beneath her sweater to her soft skin. I pulled her in tighter and she pushed herself against me. We fell onto my bed. Oh God, I wanted so desperately to feel her naked body against mine.

My lips found her neck and she moaned. Glancing up, I noticed her eyes fluttering shut as she dug her fingers into my hair.

I was hard against her. I wanted her.

Then I felt a hand press against my chest as Hailey stiffened beneath me. As I began to pull away, I saw her raise her hand and then a sharp, stinging sensation met my left cheek.

“Hailey, what the hell?” I rolled off her and watched as she stood up and adjusted her clothes.

She was shaking and her face was bright red. “Oh my God, I can’t believe that just happened. I can’t believe I let that happen. Why would you do that?” She was practically yelling at me now.

“I wasn’t the only one doing it.” Yeah, it was a stupid thing to say, but I was once again left reeling from Hailey’s rejection, so I wasn’t really sure how to handle the awkward moment.

“This isn’t funny!” Hailey gathered up her things and began stuffing them into her bag. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me! And, I don’t know what’s wrong with you! I have a boyfriend!”

Before I could respond, she raced out of my room without another word. A few seconds later, the front door slammed shut. I was left in complete silence with my thoughts, but my mind was anything but silent.

I tried to process what had just happened and couldn’t understand how I’d let myself lose control like that. I’d acted like a complete asshole to her and then kissed her when I knew she had a boyfriend.

I’d always told myself I would never mess around with girl who was taken, yet I’d gone ahead and broken my own rules. What the hell was wrong with me?

Kissing Hailey had felt like a figment of my imagination and the only way I knew it was real was the sharp stinging on my face as a reminder.

I had screwed up big time and somehow I had to make it up to Hailey.

Hailey

I felt like everything was a huge mess and I couldn't see straight long enough to figure out how I was supposed to be feeling right now.

First, I was pissed that Chase had ripped up my planner like that. What the hell was that about? It seemed like a huge overreaction. I didn't understand his motives behind that at all and then, to make the whole situation even more confusing, he had kissed me. That kiss had affected me somehow and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment but, then again, maybe it was something more.

All knew was that I was really nervous about seeing Braxton later. It wasn’t like Chase had just randomly kissed me; I’d let it happen and kissed him back, and I knew I owed it to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I could try to brush it off as just a kiss, like it was no big deal, but I didn’t really believe that.

Not now when I was pretty sure I knew exactly what kind of butterflies Tessa had been talking about—and the sensation was just as unpleasant as I had suspected it would be, but it was also kind of wonderful.

More than anything, it was confusing. How could one person make me feel so many different emotions? I was pissed about my planner, giddy about the way I felt when he’d kissed me, and guilty because it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Right now I was feeling so conflicted that I didn't know which way was up.

I heard a knock at the door. It was probably someone looking for Tessa and since she wasn’t here at the moment and I wasn’t in the mood to be social, I decided to ignore it. When the knocks persisted, however, I gave in with a reluctant sigh and walked to the door.

When I opened it, my newly discovered butterflies made a reappearance—followed quickly by a wave of guilt.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” Chase said nervously. His uncharacteristic shyness threw me off for a minute until I remembered that I was supposed to be mad at him. I had slapped him across the face after we kissed. He probably wasn’t sure how I would react to his showing up here unexpectedly. “I wanted to bring you--I mean, I got you something.” He handed me a thin wrapped gift.

“What is it?”

“A peace offering.”

“You didn't need to get me anything.”

“Just open it, Hailey.”

Reluctantly, I did. It was a planner--a much nicer one than the one he’d ripped to shreds.

“You got me a planner?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, I felt like shit after what I did,” Chase admitted. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

“You got me a planner,” I repeated.

“Yeah,” he said running a hand over the top of his head uncomfortably. “And, I uh, wanted to apologize for that kiss. It was out of line. I know you have a boyfriend and I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of guy that goes around making moves on other guys’ girlfriends. It was a mistake and I’m sorry.”

I wanted to interrupt him and tell him that it was okay but I couldn’t. I really was mad about that kiss. It wasn’t that I was upset with him for initiating it, I was just so frustrated and confused by the way it made me feel when he’ done it. It was like my eyes had finally been opened and I was suddenly able to see everything I had been missing out on--it was kind of liberating. But now, here he was, apologizing and saying it was just a mistake. Obviously our encounter had not had the same effect on him.

“Just don’t let it happen again,” I told him.

“Can we just go back to the way it was before?”

“What? With us hating each other?”

He cracked a smile. “Not that far back...could we just go back to being almost-friends?”

“Just almost-friends?”

“Yeah.” He gazed at me with a nervous anticipation, as if bracing himself for rejection. Was he really that blind? Could he not tell that he affected me?

“I think I can handle that.”

“Do you still want to go to the concert with me?” he asked carefully.

“Yeah, I still want to go.”

“But do you still want to go with me?” The fear of rejection was still there in his voice and on his face.

As much as I wanted to tell him that there was no one I would rather go to the concert with than him, I knew that it wasn't right. I had a boyfriend. If I truly thought that Chase and I were strictly friends, it wouldn't be an issue. Even if he was blind to how I felt about him, I couldn't lie to myself. What I felt for him was more than just friendship. I was attracted to him, but because of my commitment to Braxton I needed to avoid the temptation as much as possible. The more time I spent with Chase, the more likely another slip-up would occur.

“I don’t know yet. Can I think about it?” I finally asked him.

“Yeah, of course.” He seemed kind of relieved by my uncertainty. Maybe he was looking for an out. Before I could ask him if he even still wanted me to go, he smiled and said, “I’ll see you later, almost-friend.”

“Bye, Chase.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

By the time Braxton picked me up for our date night, I had my mind made up. I decided not to tell him anything about Chase or the kiss. I still needed time to figure everything out and there was no point in hurting him in the process. I was confused and I just needed to take a step back and think. I couldn’t think when I was around Chase.

I couldn’t ignore the fact that he made me feel something--I just couldn’t decide if that something was a good thing or a bad thing.

Half the time I was so frustrated with him that I wanted to slap him—and did—but then there were other times, when he let his walls down, that I found myself wanting to get to know him better. The whole situation was such unfamiliar territory for me, and until I knew what to make of it I decided there was no point worrying Braxton about it. It was probably just a silly crush that I would forget all about. After all, no matter how intoxicating they were, butterflies weren't grounds for a long-term commitment. No, Braxton and I were solid. We knew each other better than anyone else in the world—he was my absolute best friend, my high school sweetheart. The boy next door I had always planned on ending up with. Not some punk rocker covered in tattoos.

As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, tattoos or no tattoos, I still couldn't shake the way I felt when Chase kissed me.

I tried to act as normal as possible when Braxton came to pick me up, but he must’ve have known something was up because he was acting a little weird himself--all fidgety.

“Is everything okay?” I asked when I couldn’t take him bouncing his knee as he drove anymore. It was making the whole seat bounce.