Unforgettable (13 page)

“
Thank you. It’s really
wonderful.”

“
I’m glad you like it. I
have to go to Japan but I’m thinking we should get together when I
get back.”

“
Fritz figured it
out.”

“
I suspected he would. He’s
sharp.”

“
Jack and I…”

“
I know. He called. It’ll be
okay, Sam. But you’ve always got a room here. Even if I’m out of
town my office can make the arrangements.”

I slipped the bracelet on. It was
heavy. Elegant.

I made myself tea, smiling.

“
Want anything while I’m in
here, Jack?”

“
I’m hurting. Better make it
a double.”

I made him popcorn and milk and brought
some pain medicine.

“
Milk.”

“
You can’t take these drugs
with scotch. You’ll burn a hole in your stomach.”

He captured my arm, slipped off the
bracelet and read it.

“
Nice. Poetic.
Sweet.”

He put it back on.

“
Need anything else? I’m
going to bed.”

He patted the bed next to
him.

“
Sam, sit down. Or lay down.
We need to clear the air.”

“
We don’t seem to be very
good at that.”

“
This bracelet from David.
If you continue to see him this will only increase.”

“
How dreadful. A pox…look,
Jack. You and I are not married.”

“
I want to know how you feel
about me, Sam. If you’re going to get serious with David I just
need to know that.”

He got up and poured himself a scotch
and climbed in bed next to me.

“
I hate to keep saying this
but I just don’t know what will happen with David.”

“
You’re avoiding the
question. You and me.”

He lit a cigar.

He pulled me to him and kissed me so
hard our teeth crashed.

“
Look me in the eyes and
tell me what you’re feeling right now.”

I tried to turn away.

“
In the eyes.”

I crawled up on his lap, putting his
cigar out but taking a big drink of his scotch.

I couldn’t lie.

“
I want you. More than I’ve
ever wanted anyone in my life. Or all my previous hundred lives. I
seem to be accidentally falling in love with you. I never intended
for any of this to happen. You, Fritz, David…”

I gave him a small kiss that turned
deep, starving. I was tumbling into insanity.

“
Then I don’t understand.”
He was panting.

“
I need David right now. And
I can’t get into a relationship
right
now
.”

“
You
need
David but you can’t get into a
relationship.”

I nodded.

“
Do you have any idea how
totally illogical that is? You sound like the Mad
Hatter.”

“
I know. You should hear it
from this side.”

He grinned.

“
Maybe I should just get you
drunk.”

He kissed me and I curled into him like
an old tabby.

“
Sam, I want you. You’re
driving me wild.” His hands were everywhere.

“
You can make love to
Kolina. “

He laughed. “So could you. She liked
you. She does not discriminate.”

“’
Might be
interesting.”

His eyebrow went up.

“
Now that I would pay a
whole lot to see.”

He kissed me again, kissing my face, my
neck. I hurt for him, needed him like air.

“
Stay with me tonight,” he
whispered, rubbing my back, my ass.

“
I will on one
condition.”

“
A condom. You
bet.”

“
No. Clothes on, no
sex.”

The mood shifted.

He stared at me.

“
Why?”

“
No questions and no talk
about David. That’s the deal.”

“
Why do you want this deal,
why not just sleep alone?”

I played with his powerful hands,
putting his palm on my cheek, and closing my eyes.

“
No matter how many lights I
have on there are shadows. There are sounds. I swear he’s in my
room at night.

“
And when I wake up I am
horribly, painfully alone. I’d like to feel you next to me. I
haven’t slept with a man in a very long time.”

“
We shouldn’t be here,
Gabby. Privacy, remember?” They were tiny orbs of light, flitting
around the light fixture in the hall.

“
He is going to take care
of her, see? I told you so. Think I should zap them
again?”

“
I like the other two.
David’s got my money. He really cares about her, not just his… you
know what I mean.”

“
But Jack… the heat between
them.”

“
Come on, woman. I hear
Shakespeare is doing another reading tonight. Don’t want to miss
it.”

Jack held my face and I thought he
might cry.

His eyes were soft as he tucked me in
next to him. I fell asleep my back against his belly feeling him
breathe. I fell asleep smiling. I fell asleep loved.

“
I am tired of this shit,
Bobbie.”

Eddie was having a
tantrum.

“
You want something staked
out you do it! You hear me? You fucking do it!”

“
Okay, Eddie, baby. Didn’t
make any boyfriends in jail?”

Robert got in his face and
tried to kiss him.

He punched Robert, who hit
back. Several times.

“
Now you gonna tell me
again what you are and aren’t gonna to do?” Robert was spitting in
his face.

He ran in the bathroom
crying.

Robert laughed.

“
Eddie’s always so fuckin’
easy.” Robert laughed and got out the stack of pictures of
Sam.

“
How about we take the girl
for ransom?”

“
Ransom?” Oscar perked
up.

“
Yeah. What would you
like?”

“
Money. Three fucking
million,” Eddie stepped out of the bathroom.

“
And a really cool car,”
Oscar said. “My own car. Like a GTO.”

“
Right. Now it seems more
worthwhile to get her, doesn’t it?”

Gabrielle and Ted listened.
Ted shorted out an outlet in the kitchen spewing flames up the
wall.

“
That was just a warning,”
said Ted. “They’d better start putting this together.”

Gabrielle, tearful,
nodded.

Tuesday

I woke at five and got up without
waking him.

Fritz walked in the kitchen where I was
making coffee.

“
You didn’t answer your
phone.”

“
I was down here. I slept
with Jack…literally. No sex. Just sleep. But you probably already
know that. It’s like living in a submarine around here.”

“
And…”

“
What?” I
stretched.

“
Why?”

“
I didn’t want to be
alone.”

“
You’re playing with fire,
my love. Go away with me this weekend.”

“
And where would we
go?”

He wrapped me in his arms and it once
again seemed that we had been doing this for years.

“
There’s an Inn in
Vancouver. Gorgeous. Green. Quiet. Good music. Sometimes
theater.”

“
Sounds like heaven. But I
do have obligations to Jack’s foot, you know.”

“
It was nice to imagine for
a moment, though.”

We smiled.

The studio was practically
empty.

“
Where is
everyone?”

“
Closed set. Nude scene,”
Fritz told me as Jack rolled away.

“
Oh. Do they actually do
it…?”

“
No. Although there have
been those who do. But it’s very awkward with cameras in your face,
people watching every hump. And they call ‘cut’ and what’s a man to
do? Most men—unlike women—can’t just turn it on and off like that.
I mean, once you’re loaded…”

“
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I
understand.”

We walked to the café on the
compound.

“
Ever get caught?”he asked.
He seemed to have fun no matter where he was.

“
Yes. Once. In the back of a
Volkswagen. The only thing I had on was my pink socks. Knee
highs.“

“
Now there’s an image I can
keep…caught by a cop?”

“
Yes.”

“
Get arrested?”

“
No. And you?”

“
In a barn once. Back home.
I never knew a person could run with his pants down but with the
right motivation…”

“
Where is back
home?”

“
Southwold, England. Right
on the sea.”

“
I’d love to go to England.
I’ve always wanted to see the castles.”

“
Name the day and I’ll take
you.”

“
Just like that.”

“
Yes, just like
that.”

“
I suppose Jack would give
you a bit of a vacation.”

“
I would leave, my dear, and
show you the world.”

“
And what would we live on
in this fantasy of yours?”

He laughed.

“
It is a fantasy. But, the
money is very real. I’ve worked hard these past years as Jack’s
manager. I invest most everything I make—after all I have very few
expenses of my own. And now I am quite wealthy.

“
In fact, I could buy one of
those castles for you if you like. A lot are up for sale. Families
dying out, that sort of thing. They often need repair and
modernizing but it would give us something to do.

“
Fix up a… nursery.” He
stared long and hard.

“
Nursery,” I could hardly
get the word out.

“
Yes,” he whispered and bit
my shoulder. “Nursery. Baby toes, baby bellies to kiss, baby
baths--the sweetest smell in the whole world.”

Emotions I didn’t know existed were
choking me.

“
I love newborns. You
surprise me. I don’t know what else to say.”

“
How about ‘let’s make
reservations’?”

“
How about, ‘should I have
the bacon today or stay healthy’? I’m thinking bacon. Two
slices.”

He looked at my bracelet.

“
He’s a charmer. Guard your
heart, my little love.”

All during breakfast I thought of
castles. Ancient. Large stones. Large beds. Making love to Fritz
any time I wanted. Being naked with Fritz. And…a nursery. A child.
Something I hadn’t allowed myself to think of in a long
time.

“
You’re awfully
quiet.”

“
Just daydreaming. Babies,
nurseries, making love whenever, you and me, naked… You have my
gray cells on over time. I’m a little tired, too.”

“
I could find a place where
we could take a nap. I’m utterly exhausted myself.” He leaned over
on the table and looked at me upside down like a playful, horny
cat.

I was thinking of saying yes when his
phone went off.

“
Yes? I see. Damn. We’ll be
right there.”

“
What?”

“
They’re sending him
home.”
“Was he bad?”

He laughed. “Shandi has the sniffles
and didn’t think she could suck face. So they’re sending Jack home.
He’ll be in a snit.”

But he wasn’t. He was
smiling.

“
Call Gloria, tell her that
we’re taking Sammy to Malibu.”

“
The beach?”

“
Yes. We’ll have some lunch,
watch the waves, it’ll be great.”

Fritz called Gloria. “Sunnie’s. Yes.
Meet you there.” He hung up. “She was saying very bad words to
me.”

“
She didn’t want us to go.”
Jack played with a small ball he’d found in the parking
lot.

“
No, she wants us to go back
home and sit in our rooms with the doors locked.”
The drive to Malibu was beautiful, the temperatures were in the
mid-eighties and the sky was filled with puffy white
clouds.

“
Wish I had a suit, though.
I’d love to get wet.”

The two men exchanged looks.

“
They have shops all up and
down the beach,” Fritz said. “And I am an excellent swimsuit
shopper.”

“
I think I can handle that
on my own…as long as you’re paying.”

As expected we found a boutique but the
prices were outrageous.

“
Come on, let’s go,” I
said.

“
You don’t like
them?”