UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3) (13 page)

Relieved he walked away, I open my bedroom door to find Neil comfortably watching a re-run of 24. According to him, Jack Bauer is the answer to the world’s problems.

Muting the TV, he eyes me skeptically. “You know having your coochie finger banged isn’t the answer to your heartache, right?”

Narrowing my eyes at him, I slowly approach my bed. “How do you know I was finger banged, oh wise one?”

“Chicka, if Brian banged you with his cock, I would’ve felt the damn wall shake. And, I would have belted out, ‘I feel the earth, move under the feet. I feel the sky tumbling down.’” He sings using the remote control as a microphone. He twists and turns on my bed, stopping as he looks at me then says, “Don’t be lying to me, sweet cheeks, because it won’t work. Now, confess to Mother Superior the sins you’ve committed in the name of love or lust, whichever you prefer.” Then, he bats his eyes.

I sit on the bed with a sigh of defeat. “It was a moment of weakness, okay? I promise, it won’t ever happen again.”

“Pssh, typical. You should’ve just used this excuse . . .” He pauses, clears his throat, and talks in a Bill Clinton voice. “I did not have sexual relations with that man’s cock. . . . errr only his finger.”

Damn my winggay’s ass to hell!

BRIAN

I’VE NEVER TALKED TO TAMI
like that. Sure, we argue like normal couples do, but not with that intensity. I felt as though I were losing control enough to hit something or lose my mind completely. I don’t know what the hell she’s talking about, and it bugs the shit out of me. She normally gives it to me straight, but for some odd reason, that’s not exactly what she’s doing. Roxy is my only hope since she knows everything happening to our group. Unfortunately for me, I have to wait until tomorrow since waking up a pregnant Roxy isn’t something I want to deal with.

I walk out of my old room only to find Roxy already in the kitchen eating ice cream for breakfast. Being pregnant truly messes with Roxy’s brain.

“What’s up?” She asks unexcitedly.

“Tami is being difficult. Can you tell me what’s up?”

“Hold, please.”

“What? I’m holding for what exactly? It’s a yes, I know what’s going on; or no, I don’t know, Roxy?”

“I’m putting on my Dr. Phil hat since you need some kind of intervention here. Can you tell me again what’s going on, please?”

Blowing out a very frustrated breath, I repeat myself, “Do you know what’s going on with Tami? We had an argument right after I made her cum!”

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Please hold off on anything related to cum, cumming, or any sexual seizures. I seriously need to charge you boys. Gosh, I need to add sexual therapist to my many hats.”

“Roxy! Focus!”

“Well, if you want me to focus, stop saying the word cum!”

“Fine! Just give me an answer, please. I would prefer in this lifetime.”

“Let me think. I’ll need to place you on a brief hold as I flip through the rolodex in my brain. Stop rolling your eyes, it’s so unmanly!”

How Cody puts up with Roxy’s quirks is beyond me. Who says something about a damn rolodex in her brain and puts you on hold while going through it?

“She’s insecure right now, Brian, especially after finding out about your baby secret with Lorraine. Gosh, we’ve known you for a long time, and even I didn’t know about it. Keeping that secret wasn’t cool, B. Not cool at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish eating my Ben and Jerry’s Schweddy Balls.”

“Sweaty Balls?”

“No, your balls are sweaty. Get that straight. What I’m eating is called Schweddy Balls, and it’s absolutely divine. No, you can’t have a bite.”

“Just when I thought I was making headway, I’m slammed with this. I can never catch a damn break.”

“That’s okay. We know guys are slow on the up take.” Rolling her eyes, she continues, “You know when God blessed humans with brain power, I think boys in general were sleeping since all the brains landed on the wrong head.”

Tami is never insecure, but I guess with everything going on, she has every right to feel that way. I should’ve told her about Lorraine, and I get that. However, that’s water under the damn bridge, and if she needs me to build a bridge for her, that’s what I’ll do. The problem is women always . . . always make things difficult.

“It’s starting to come back, huh?” Putting her spoon down, which I’m sure causes her great distress she continues, “Like I said, Tami is one very insecure woman, right now. Her relationship is in the shitter while everyone around her is having babies. That alone will do a number on someone’s psyche.”

“I get it. But . . . she never assumes. Not when it comes to us. We talk things out.”

“Well, I say there’s always a first time for everything, besides if it’s really true you ‘talk things out’ sorry to remind you buddy, you failed to tell her about your first baby mama.” She rolls her eyes at me out of frustration. “Do you have a brain? What I’m saying is, your secret, plus you saying all those hurtful things about her being pregnant messed with her inner peace. You know, her Zen state. That girl has been one of the strongest women I’ve known, but even the strong ones have a moment of weakness. You should know this. Talk to her. See how that goes.”

“Now, we’re talking about Zen state? I need Cody.”

“Huh. Good luck with that one. The best he could come up with is ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus.’ Just call her. You look as though you’re losing your mind.”

Scuffing her off, I retort, “Losing my mind is the least of my worries. I’m too intent on not losing my heart.”

“Have you lost yours?”

“The day she let me go.”

“So, what now?”

“All I know is I’m ready to do this. I want to try it with her, and only her. I want her to wipe away my fears while I wipe away her doubts about my commitment.” Blowing out a breath I continue, “There’s a lot of things I need that only she can give, Roxy. No one else, just her. We both lost someone special, my hurts are the same as hers, and just because I’ve experience the loss twice doesn’t make her pain any less. I need to get over my own fears to move on. I get that now.”

“Are you doing it for her or for yourself? There’s a difference, Brian. A huge one.”

It doesn’t take me long to answer. “I’m doing this for us. For us.”

Cocking her head my way seemingly satisfied with my answer she says, “What are you waiting for? Talk to her.”

“I’m calling her. First, I need to get the feel of the battle field.”

“Wuss!” She stops and looks at the empty box in front of her.

“If you stop talking, I’ll get you another one.”

She smiles my way, pretending to hold a key, locking her mouth shut, and throwing it away. Then, and only then, do I dial Tami’s number.

“Can we talk? Remember the time apart? It’s supposed to bring healing, correct? I achieved that, so again, what’s the issue here?”

“There’s no problem. The issue lies with me, solely on me,” she answers softly.

“How so?”

So much running around in circles is frustrating the shit out of me. I feel like a damn hamster.

“I guess, I need a partner who wants to try it with me.”

I’m shocked, but I shouldn’t be since assumptions have hijacked her brain, and Neil keeps saying stupid shit to her isn’t helping at all.

“Am I not the partner for you?”

“Am I to you?”

I’m shocked, again. I pull the phone away from my ear and literally looked at it for a couple of seconds. I’m honest to God having mental whiplash, and I’m not easily confused.

“Tami, you’re it for me. I want you to stew and simmer on my own ten point truth about us. If you still have doubts, ask me directly without assuming shit. One, I want to try again with you. This time I want to feel every movement, hear every moan, and touch every part of you knowing we’re creating life. Two, I only ever want to try with you, no one else. Three, Lorraine is my past. She will never be my present or my future, that throne is owned only by you, Tami. Four, I’m ready when you are. All you need to say is when. Five, clear the doubts and whatever shit is growing in your brain. Six, if I’ve disappointed you in anyway, please forgive me. I’m letting go of my own fears, and believe me, when I say it’s not easy. I’m still scared shitless, but I’d rather be scared with you. We’re a team, alright? Seven, you’re my world. Eight, I’m doing this separation shit since it’s what you want, so please, use it for what it’s designed to be. Nine, quit listening to Neil. And last but certainly not the least, when you’re ready for me to touch you again, I’m going to fuck your body just as hard as you’ve fucked with my brain.”

I don’t wait for her answer, I don’t ask her any questions, I just hang up once I’m through talking. I can’t believe she’s put us both into this emotional mind fuck without talking to me.

“Nice. Way to establish whose the one carrying the balls,” Roxy says snickering at me.

“She’s trying to ninja fuck my brain.”

“Trust me when I tell you, that wasn’t ninja fucking your brain. She’s just throwing a few jabs here and there.” She moves from behind me and starts rubbing her palms together. She’s smiling at me in her all too cute Roxy way; you can’t help but smile along with her. “Now, before you forget, can you run to the store and get me some more of them oh so good Schweddy Balls.”

TAMI

“Just pick, already! We’re down to two, Neil. If you don’t choose in the next ten seconds, you’re dead meat.”

“Tami, pl——ease. You’re talking to Cat Woman here. I have nine lives.”

“Cat Woman is a girl, Neil.”

He actually strikes a pose. “But, I have more sass in my ass.”

“Enough, let’s go through the models again.”

We were flipping head shot after head shot for over an hour, and finally, we pick the right candidates. Neil is excited because of the size of their junk while I’m excited because of my clothing line.

“So, have you had anymore weak moments? It’s been a few weeks since the last one. Have you been finger banged lately?”

I playfully push him. “Why are you so interested in my love life?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “I’m living vicariously through you, remember?” Sighing, he continues, “Seriously, are you ready? You know how guys are. One second they’re sure of everything, and then when it actually happens, they get cold feet.”

“I just have to trust him, Neil.” I take my glasses off and lean back on my chair. “If he tells me he’s ready, then he is.”

“But girlfriend, he can say that without being sure. I’m not putting doubt in your mind, but he has been in that mode of thinking for a while now. I understand a come to Jesus moment can happen anytime, but that quickly?”

“We’ve always been honest with each other.”

He snaps his fingers at me. “Are you forgetting already that he failed to tell you about his secret? He kept it from you, Tami. I just don’t want to see you hurt or blindsided again.”

“He’s the only one who can truly be sure of his readiness, but at least, he’s willing to try. Now, I don’t think we’re going to try right away. Gosh, we still need to fix our relationship, to bring it back to where we were before. We’re just beginning to heal from you know . . . our loss. I don’t think we’re ready to jump in bed and have a go at it. As in, trying to get pregnant.”

He stands and laughs, “Says the girl who got finger banged.”

“I told you it was a moment of weakness,” I answer with less conviction than I said it the last time.

“I think we’ve established Brian is your weakness. For the record, I understand and commiserate with the weakness part; it’s the look of pain on your face I can’t stand.”

Without looking at my assistant who is fast becoming one of my best friends, I continue slapping my fingers against the keyboard, sending an e-mail to God knows who, trying to forget the pain from weeks ago.

“It may be that he’s my weakness. But, he’s my weakness that also gives me strength.”

Furrowing his brows he says, “Err, what the hell do you mean, woman? Don’t talk in riddles if you want to have a meaningful conversation with yours truly.”

I lean back and steeple my fingers as I look him in the eyes. “Losing Brian could and can bring me to my knees; but because of that fear and the love I have for him, it gives me the strength to allow him to grow by letting him go. As hard as that was, I’m paving the way for him to realize what we’re worth together, and how much we both don’t make sense when we’re apart. It’s in losing that winning can be achieved.”

“Ah, I see you’re in Gunny mode. It’s so weird how you talk like him, sometimes. You’re a she-man. But kidding aside, I hope everything turns out okay.”

“One can only hope.” I reach for my coffee and take a sip as I give Neil a wink.

He looks pensively at me. “What if he asks you to marry him? Oh, girl, what are you gonna do?”

That thought has never entered my mind, only because I’ve been focused on fixing us. How can he possibly think of proposing when we aren’t even on speaking terms?

“I don’t know, Neil. I guess, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“Well, what if the bridge is wobbly and missing a few planks? What then?”

Looking put out, I answer, “I’ll Wonder Woman myself over to the other side. How’s that?”