UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3) (33 page)

“Nope . . . not yet.”

Brian and I look at each other wondering why wouldn’t he be, then Nick steps back and scoots me right between him and Brian.

Nick leans forward and says, “Daddy, hold Mama’s hand.” Brian does as he’s asked while grabbing my other hand then says, “Now, we are ready, Daddy.”

“Why am I in the middle, Nick? It should be you.”

Shaking his head he says, “No, Mama. Grandpa said me and Daddy should always protect you.”

His words warm my heart. At times, it’s hard to believe that someone who didn’t come from me could love me like this . . . as if I’m his real mother. Not wanting to argue with him, Brian pushes the door. We walk hand in hand straight to the judge who instructs us to take a seat, but motions for Nick to approach him.

“Do you know what today means, Nick?”

He looks at us then turns to face the Judge. “Yes, sir. Today, I will become a Mancini.”

“Do you want to be one?”

Without looking at us this time he answers, “One hundred billion percent.”

The judge laughs heartily, then looks our way and nods just like my dad. He signs the papers as Nick looks intently at them as if he understands what’s written on them. After the judge puts his pen down, Nick gives us two thumbs up, turns, and extends his little hand to shake the judge’s.

Nick yells, “Mama! I’m a Mancini boy! Kiss me, Mama!”

I smile as wide as my lips can go as Brian looks at our son with pride. As Nick walks our way, his eyes full of excitement and love, that look alone triggers yet another memory.

“Nick, do you understand what adoption means?”

“Nonna said, Daddy will be my ‘daddy and you will be my mama.’”

“Are you sure you want us to adopt you?”

“Yes . . . Mama. You not sure?” He looks up and his eyes are tearing up.

“I’m very sure, Nick.”

“Okay.” He continues playing with his Legos. All talk about adoption forgotten.

I sit there watching him play, imagining the day he’ll be completely ours. When I feel little hands imprisoning my cheeks and gray eyes now boring into mine as he scoots between my legs.

“Yes, Nick?”

“I.” He kisses my forehead lingering there for a little bit, just like Brian.

“Love.” His lips touch my nose.

“You forever, Mama.” His lips touch mine.

Blinking twice to stop my tears from falling, I ask, “Who taught you that?”

“I saw daddy kiss you like that last night. Can you answer me now?” He squints his eyes at me while still holding my cheeks, pressing against them ever so slightly.

“With no end, Nick. I love you with no end,” I answer with so much conviction there’s no doubting the truth behind every word.

I pull him in, peppering him with kisses until he wiggles out of my arms. I thought Brian was the only one I could love more than life itself outside of my family. But, Nick erased that thought by just loving me. A child’s love is pure—clean, full of acceptance, and without fear; while mine . . . I had to find myself after Dominic died. Nick’s love found me . . . he made everything move in my world, again.

With no end, that’s the story of us—with no end.

BRIAN

It wasn’t until we left the court house that I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I’ve been waiting . . . actually Tami and I have been waiting for six long months for Nick to finally be ours. Mine—my son. My wife’s son. I send a quick prayer of thanks as I always do now since the start of Tami’s pregnancy. I should have known the only way to combat fear is through Him, then I wouldn’t have suffered those many years, carrying guilt I shouldn’t have carried and being fearful of things I shouldn’t have feared.

As we say goodbye to our growing entourage to go visit Dominic and Carrie, a feeling of completion settles within me now that we’re walking this road again with Nick in tow. I remember when we used to visit Dominic in the cemetery, my heart always filled with nothing but sadness all throughout the drive. Now with Nick, it’s less painful . . . everything is less painful with Nick.

We walk up the slope, and before long, we’re standing right at the spot where our hearts still ache just a little. The three of us comfort each other, or more like Nick comforts us. I remember the day we buried Carrie. It was only a simple ceremony with only Tami, my parents, Nick, Claire, and Tami’s parents. I’m glad Tami chose to go that day. A choice I know she’s very proud of even to this day.

“How do I look?”

I fix Nick’s tie before answering, “You look fine, buddy.”

“Is ma . . . um . . . is Angel going?”

“As far as I know, she is.”

“Okay, Da . . . um . . . Brian.”

My heart breaks for him and for myself. How can I allow him to call me Daddy when I can’t even explain to myself why there’s this need to hear him say that word. I don’t want to confuse him. So, I do what I normally do when he slips up, I ignore it.

“Brian, we’re ready to go. Tami is in the car, already,” Mama calls out.

“You hear that, buddy? She’s in the car. Are you ready to do this?”

Nick nods and clasps my hand with his. We walk straight to the car, I open the door and strap him in, glancing at Tami before I close the door.

“You okay?” I ask my wife as I reach for her hand.

“Yeah.”

I can never get used to the sadness in Tami’s eyes. I know there’s an end to it—I have to believe . . . I need to believe that the story of us will not have this ending—not this, not after all we’ve been through.

The drive to the cemetery soon ends, and Tami is as stiff as a board, more so now than when we left. I fear she won’t leave the car, but when Nick calls to her to help him out, she moves. As the three of us follow everyone else over the hill, Tami’s hold on my hand gets tighter by the second. As soon as my wife’s eyes land on Dominic’s name, her lips starts to tremble. Without my urging, she sits next to Nick who’s sandwiched between her and my mom.

Just like Dominic’s, as soon as the pastor says the prayer, we’re given a few minutes to say goodbye before they start lowering the casket. Nick gets up and places a white rose on Carrie’s casket. My mom does the same followed by Claire. Suddenly, Nick turns and throws himself at Tami, and her arms are open to shelter this little boy’s heart from such a great loss.

“I love you, Mommy.” Nick cries out and buries his face in Tami’s neck; and her arms are anchored around his little body.

“I love you, Dominic.” Tami’s quick response causes both our mothers to gasp out loud.

As soon as those words were uttered, both Nick and Tami stare at each other in surprise. Because of their outbursts and how innocently it happened, they both collapse in each other’s arms. I don’t know what happened, but amidst the sadness healing began.

“Mommy, I’m a Mancini. I’m super-dee-duper excited! Dominic, you are my broder! Did you guys find each other?”

Tami hands the flowers for Carrie and Dominic to Nick. He places them on the holder next to their tombstones. When out of the blue, it starts to rain. Small droplets of water hit my face as I slowly look up to the heavens. I savor it’s coolness as I remember what Tami told me a long time ago when we lost our first child.

I hope that every time you feel the air, the heat of the sun, the coolness of the rain caressing your skin, it would remind you of our angel.

The feel of the rain on my skin is a reminder that our babies are with us, and right now, I know Dominic is looking down on us wearing a smile so big it lights up the sky. Funny thing is, it’s raining while the sun is shining.

“Daddy, it’s raining! Why are your eyes closed?”

“I’m remembering Dominic and your brothers in Heaven,” I answer without opening my eyes, not needing to see that Nick will soon copy me.

Peace consumes my heart.

Fear is non-existent.

Ache—it aches just a little.

Longing—until we see Dominic again.

TAMI

“I’M REMEMBERING MY MOMMY, TOO,”
Nick says as he copies his dad’s stance.

As I watch my two loves enjoy the rain and their remembrance of our loved ones in Heaven, I feel a tug in my heart. I don’t know if it’s sadness for their loss . . . our loss really, or the need to erase that loss in their hearts all together. I let my eyes wander the vast area filled with nothing but death, and as the sun continues to shine, and the rain continues to shower us; truth suddenly hits me.

Our loss and Nick’s brought us all together . . . erasing it or wishing it never happened would have changed the way our paths crossed. To undo the past is to never see the future. Life brings forth love as death is healed by love. Nothing and no one in this world survives without love.

“Nick, I think they found each other, baby.”

I pick him up as his little legs wrap around my waist and his arms encircle my neck.

“How do you know?” He cocks his head as his brows furrows.

“I know because I’m a mother. I can feel it in my heart.”

His smile widens then he says, “I know too, Mama.”

“What do you know?”

“I know they found each other, too.”

I raise my brow at him. “How do you know?”

“Beee-cause I can feel it in my heart, too!” He slams his knuckles together and start wiggling his little fingers pretending there’s an explosion. “My Wonder Twin in Heaven thinks so, too, Mama.”

Brian hugs me from behind. His arms covering Nick and me which earns a squeal from our son. What Brian says confirms what I already know . . . what Nick even knows.

“I know too, because there’s no doubt in my mind or fear in my heart. My heart beats just like Mama’s, and yours beats in sync with ours, Nick. We’ll never know why things happen the way they do, Nick; but one thing I know is fate brought you to us. You were meant to be with us and us with you.”

“Can we go to Naked Sweets, now?” Nick asks as he wiggles his way out of my arms and runs toward the truck. Then he stops on a dime, turns around, and runs back toward us. He kisses both his palms and slams them down on the headstones of Carrie and Dominic. “Bye, Mommy! Bye, Broder!” Then, he runs off like the Tasmanian devil.

Brian spins me around to face him, a smile already on his face greeting mine. His eyes shine with contentment matching my own. Who would have thought that a place such as this would bring peace to our hearts? Only He can design it to end this way.

“It’s divine intervention, angel. The place I once feared, now brings comfort and strength. I don’t want to end the story of us with just the three of us. I want us to grow, however, He wants us to. I’m not fearful of trying again. Are you?”

My eyes dance around his, poking, prodding, and checking for kinks in his armor of strength; because I do . . . I do want to try again. Not at this very moment, but when the season comes.

“I would love to try again and see what the future holds. But, we need to ask Nick, don’t you think?”

Brian scrunches his forehead in surprise. “You mean ask him when I can make love to my wife? You gotta be shitting me, T. Your son has cock blocked me so many times I’ve lost count. No, I’ll ship his cute little behind to Ma’s house while I enjoy every second licking every inch of you.” He stops and pulls me even closer to him, then murmurs, “ . . . every minute kissing your lips, and hour after hour of me worshipping your body. That’s my plan, and it starts. . . .” He looks at his watch then says with a huge grin on his face, “. . . . it starts at nineteen hundred hours.”

I close my eyes savoring his words, but mentally computing what nineteen hundred hours is. Once I realized I have four hours until all the licking, kissing, and worshipping will commence, butterflies make a ruckus in my belly and my toes curl in anticipation.

“I would love that.”

“I love you, Tami Alessandra Mancini. Right here on this spot a year from now, a little princess or prince will be part of the story of us. I know it, because right here . . .” He reaches for my hand and places it gently against his chest. “ . . . my heart believes it. I’ve learned it because of you. I’ve grown to trust it because of Dominic, and I’ve seen it because of Nick. Dream with me that we’ll fill our home with little angels just like you, but more than anything, I’d like you to believe with me.”

He slams his lips against mine as he transfers all of his dreams and beliefs to my open and accepting heart. A heart that’s now filled with hope, healed by love, and steeled by faith.

Life isn’t over for us, so our story goes on. We’re going to travel this road with many more seasons of laughter, season of tears, of life, of death, and a season of hope. To some, the journey we just travelled after losing Dominic should have been a road never taken again, I say let your heart move . . . let it move until—until it’s done.