Authors: Abby Reynolds
“Lazybones.”
“I don’t want to sleep.”
My cock got harder than a rock.
She sauntered into the bedroom, and like a dog on the scent, I chased after her, wanting a taste of her.
It was dark inside my bedroom. I hadn’t made the bed in a few days but she didn’t seem to care. The sheets were heavy with her scent. I smelled it every night before I went to bed. I stood in front of her, watching her finger one of the straps on her dress.
She gave me a confident look, not minding my gawking. Then she pulled it down. And then the other.
My cock was throbbing.
She pulled it down the front of her waist, showing her voluptuous breasts. I swallowed the lump in my throat while I stared at her. It was impossible to hide my desperate attraction to her.
She held my gaze, not minding how much I stared at her. It was a side to her I’d never seen before. She wanted me to gawk at her body, fantasizing about it in a sexual way.
Her black bra was made of lace. It was thin in some places, showing the skin underneath. I loved the size of her chest. She had a petite waist and slender legs, but her breasts were round and perky. She had obvious cleavage and her breasts were so soft. I loved tasting them a few days ago.
She pulled the dress to her waist then pulled it down her legs.
I wanted to rip her clothes off but I kept my distance. With her, I couldn’t be as forward as I wanted. She had to take the reins and lead us forward. Until I knew she was ready, I wouldn’t make any moves. The last thing I wanted was to scare her.
She kicked her dress away, showing her white thong underneath.
Holy fucking shit.
She played with the waistband, still staring at me. Then she bit her lip and pulled it down her long and slender legs.
I wanted to come just from looking at her.
When she was naked, she touched her breasts and massaged them.
God, she was killing me.
She sauntered to me slowly then grabbed the end of my shirt. I lifted my arms over my head and let her pull my t-shirt off. She stared at my chest, lust lingering in her eyes. Her hands moved to my chest then trailed down slowly, feeling every groove and ab. Her fingers felt my happy trail until she reached the brim of my jeans. Without hesitation, she unbuttoned them then pulled them down my legs. She moved to her knees, helping me get them off my feet. Then she stayed on her knees in front of me.
It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
She licked her lips then grabbed the rim of my boxers.
“Fuck.” I couldn’t hold that back. She actually licked her lips.
How did she expect me not to crumble?
Then she slid them down, getting them off.
My cock popped out, long and hard. I was pretty proud of my length and size. I knew girls gossiped to one another, so the whole campus knew I had the whole package. It was why it was so easy for me to score. I may not want a relationship, but I’d make them come.
Livia rose to her feet then pulled me to the bed. I wasn’t used to ceasing control to someone else, but I liked it. I knew exactly what she wanted. I didn’t have to worry about pushing her too far.
I leaned back on my elbows then stared at her, wondering what she wanted next.
She crawled up my legs but stopped at my waist.
I eyed her, waiting for something to happen.
Did she want me to kiss her? Did she want me to touch her?
Her hand moved up my thigh then trailed to the base of my cock. Then she hooked her fingers around it, squeezing it gently.
I tried not to moan. It was a simple touch, but I hadn’t gotten any for several months. Anything would make me come, even rubbing a pillow on accident would make me explode.
“You weren’t pleased last time,” she whispered.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” I meant it. She didn’t owe me anything.
“But I want to…”
Then do it. Please.
“I want to kiss you.” I waited for her to crawl up further so I could crush my mouth against hers.
“I want to kiss you too…but I don’t know how.”
My heart rate spiked.
Does she mean what I think she means
?
“Can you…teach me?” Her hand was still tight around my base.
I needed to be a gentleman and get out of this situation. I knew girls didn’t like giving head. Livia was too good for that. “I’d rather kiss you and feel your body next to mine.”
“Scotty, I want to.” The determination was in her eyes. “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t interested.”
Now she was making it impossible for me to reject her. “I don’t want to rush anything you aren’t ready for. You don’t owe me anything, Livia. Just kissing you and holding you is enough for me.”
“But I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”
“You do,” I said firmly.
“Scotty…I’m ready.” Her hand massaged my base.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t see any hesitation in her eyes. “Okay.”
She gave me a playful smile. “I win.”
“I didn’t realize we were playing a game. I don’t play games.”
“Yes, you do. Just not with me.”
My eyes softened slightly.
“Now teach me, master.”
Those words made my hair stand on end. She knew exactly what to say. “Lick the base to the tip then put it in your mouth. I’m a big guy so don’t expect to take all of it.” My spine shivered while I waited.
She pulled her hair over one shoulder then tilted her head, exposing her mouth to me. She grabbed the base and held my dick in the air. Then she pressed her lips to the base, her tongue coming through.
Shit.
She caressed my length with warm kisses then rubbed her tongue along the vein. Then she moved to my tip, licking away the lubricant that formed there. Livia sucked it, making me clench the sheets, and then she slowly pushed me to the back of her throat.
“Fuck…”
She could only take half of me but that was plenty. She moved her head up and down, pushing me forward and backward. For being her first time, she was doing an amazing job.
“Now rub your hand along the shaft while you do it.” My voice came out weak, desperate. It felt so good that I wanted to come already.
Her fingers wrapped around my length then squeezed gently. She moved her hand up and down while my cock entered and left her mouth. I breathed hard while I watched her. Needing to touch her, I stuck my hand in her hair and fisted the strands. Slowly, I guided her up and down my cock.
“How is this?” she asked.
“Fucking amazing,” I said with a moan. I felt my body tense with every move she made. Her tongue felt so good as it touched my tip then moved to my base. Her hand used just the right pressure. My breaths became heavier and I knew I was about to come. I hadn’t had an orgasm in so long that I didn’t recognize it.
“Babe, I’m about to come.”
She kept going.
“Pull me out if you don’t want me to come inside you.”
Her head bobbed up and down.
My fingers grabbed her hair and I thrust gently from below, feeling the blinding orgasm build. My stomach clenched and so did my ass. Everything was tensing, getting ready to explode.
And then it happened.
I squirted into her mouth and a loud moan escaped my lips. “Oh…shit.” My hand moved to her neck while I continued to fill her. I lay back on the bed, finishing. I breathed hard, loving every second of the pleasure she gave me. When I was finally done, she pulled away and swallowed.
I lay still, recovering from the best orgasm of my life.
“Was that okay?” she asked.
“It was…fucking fantastic.”
She smirked then crawled up my chest. “I’m sorry you have to teach me everything.”
“I’m not. Now I can train you the way I like.”
“That’s a pro.”
“You’re teaching me too. I’ve never made love to someone before. It’ll be my first time.”
“Really?”
“Like I said, you’re my only one.”
Her eyes softened while she looked at me.
“Now it’s your turn.” I flipped her on her back then moved over her.
She giggled then grabbed my shoulders. “Right down to business, huh?”
My mouth found the nub between her legs and I began my work.
“Oh…” Her laughter ceased immediately and she fisted my hair, opening her legs wider.
I pleased her through the night, making her dig her nails into my skin, drawing blood. I used to only be concerned about getting pleasure, not giving it. But with her, I loved it.
And I did it again. And again.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Livia
Scotty had changed my life for the better.
He made me feel safe, made me feel loved, and made me realize there was more to life after what happened. He made me live again, feel things that were foreign to me. Desire ran through my veins, and I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone before. I never thought that would happen—ever.
For the first time, I felt alive. My confidence was at its peak. I felt beautiful, desirable. I felt love like I’d never known. Anytime I was with Scotty, I didn’t feel like he was thinking about what happened to me. He looked at me like I was the single most important thing in the world.
And he was…hot.
He kissed me like he couldn’t get enough of me. He touched me in the right way, applying the right pressure so I could find my release. His tongue made me shake, and his body made me groan.
Sex with him didn’t sound so bad. It sounded incredible.
I was happier than I’d ever been my whole life. Even before that horrible night six months ago, my happiness was negligent compared to now. Scotty changed everything.
I was at home, thinking about him and what he was doing. I thought about using my key and stopping by his house, but I’d been spending all my time with him. Besides, he was at training right now, but I wanted to lay in his bed naked and surprise him when he got home. But I should probably stay home and work. If I went over there, we would stay up all night—not doing schoolwork.
My phone started to ring and I saw Ash’s name on the screen.
What did he want? Another ride?
I answered it, unsure why I bothered. “Call a taxi.”
“Hello to you too.”
“Where are you?”
“Outside your front door.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t answer the door if I knocked.”
“What do you want, Ash?” The last time we spoke, he really hurt my feelings. He said something I’d never forget.
Mom and Dad were right. Your life is just a series of bad decisions.
“I want to talk—and apologize.”
That made me soften up a little. “The door is unlocked.”
“Okay.” He hung up. A second later the door opened.
I heard his footsteps as he approached the living room. Then he appeared around the corner, wearing dark jeans and a thin black jacket. He stood there for a second before he joined me on the couch.
I felt awkward when he sat beside me. My brother babied me all my life, but then he turned vicious and impatient when something horrific happened to me. In his defense, he had no idea, but it still wasn’t easy to hear.
“How have you been?” he asked quietly.
“Really good.”
“Really?” His voice became louder.
“Scotty and I got back together.”
He nodded. “So I hear.”
“From who?”
“Scotty.”
He never mentioned that to me.
“He’s a good guy. I like him a lot.”
“I like him too. Actually, I love him.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He seemed sincere. “He has my approval.”
“I wouldn’t care if he didn’t.” Actually, I would. But I was a little angry right now.
“I’m sorry about what I said…I didn’t mean it.”
“It sounded like you did.”
“I was just angry…you know how I can get.” He studied my face then looked away. “You know how much I love you, Liv. I have high expectations of you unlike the rest of the scum of the earth.”
I rubbed my palms together, unsure what to do. I never felt awkward around him but I did now.
“Do you forgive me?”
My brother never apologized for anything, even when he should. So I knew he was being sincere. “You know I do.”
“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
“It’s okay.”
He patted my thigh then pulled his hand away. “Scotty told me I should talk to you, that you have something you should tell me.”
Scotty did that?
I made it clear I didn’t want my brother to know. “What else did he say?”
“Nothing. He didn’t give away your secret. But I’d really like to know what it is. In fact, he didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. I know something has been up with you for months. Now I know you’ve been lying to me this entire time…not that I feel very good about it.”
I released the air in my lungs. My heart was clenched tightly. “I don’t want to talk about it…”
The sadness moved into his eyes. “Why can you tell Scotty and not me? I know you love the guy but I’m your brother. I tell you everything. You know all the shit about me I’m not proud of. Every good and bad thing I’ve ever down has been common knowledge to you. You’ve never judged me for anything and I would never judge you.”
I still couldn’t do it. This was different. I didn’t have a secret subscription to
Playboy
and I didn’t hide them behind the toilet tank. I didn’t have sex on my parents’ bed. I didn’t lose my virginity when I was fourteen. I didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night to do cocaine with my friends. This was completely different than that.
“Livia, please.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “No. And believe me, you don’t want to know.”
“Why?” He kept his voice controlled.
“It’ll hurt you…”
He took a deep breath and clenched his fists. “Liv, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m okay,” I said immediately. “ Everything is fine.”
“How can everything be fine when you’ve been dead for the past six months. No, not everything is fine. Please tell me. I’ll be there for you. I’ll help you.”
“I have Scotty.”
Now he got irritated. “I’m your family. I’m your best friend. And I deserve to know.”
I couldn’t look at my brother. This was too hard.
“Liv, why won’t you tell me? Are you afraid I’m going to tattle on you or something?”
“No…”
“Then why?”
“You won’t see me the same…everything will be different.”
“Even so, we need to work through this. Whatever instilled this change in you really messed you up. When you have the support of people who love you, it makes the recovery better. You’ve made so much progress since you let Scotty in. Imagine how much better you would do if you let me in.”
I closed my eyes and felt the tears burn. “I don’t want to hurt you…”
He put his hand on my back and rubbed me gently. “You’re hurting me more by keeping it from me.”
“It’ll break your heart. I love you, Ash. I want to protect you.”
“And I want to protect you.”
I sniffed then wiped my tears away.
“Come on…”
He wouldn’t stop until I opened up to him. He would pester me until I broke down. “Promise me you won’t tell Mom and Dad.”
“Promise.” He swallowed the lump in his throat while he waited for me to open up.
I turned my face away. “Don’t look at me when I say this.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to see your face.”
He sighed then turned to the left, staring at the TV.
“I…when I was at the frat party I was given roofies…the date-rape drug. I was dragged into a room where I was raped…by five different guys.” Acid burned on my tongue and moved to my stomach, making me sick. I hated saying it out loud. More tears fell down my face. “I was tied up and I couldn’t move. I passed out a few times. When I woke up, they were gone.”
Ash didn’t look at me. His face was still directed to the TV. His breathing changed, becoming deeper and heavier. His hands curled into fists before he relaxed them. Then he pressed his palms to his face, rubbing his eyebrows and cheeks.
I waited for him to react, to scream.
He folded his hands together and rested them on his knees. I couldn’t see his face so I couldn’t gauge his reaction.
Was he disgusted with me? Did he hate me? Was he embarrassed I was his sister?
“I was such a fucking asshole to you…” His voice came out as whisper. “I made you pick me up at parties…the one you were raped at…I gave you shit every day for being a loner. I…I was a dick.”
“You didn’t know.” I sniffed.
“Even so...” He covered his face again and sighed.
I patiently waited for him to gather his bearings. I was glad I couldn’t see his face. The disappointment would be too much.
Ash finally turned to me, his eyes red and the moisture building. “I’m so sorry.”
Seeing him cry made me cry. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“No.” He took a deep breath and stilled his emotions. “I’m glad you did. I needed to know.”
“I’m sorry I kept it from you.”
“I understand why you did.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. “I’m so sorry, Liv. I…that shouldn’t have happened.”
“I know.” Feeling my brother’s chest made me feel better. It was nice to be open about what happened, to just admit it to the closest person to me. My brother hardly ever hugged me, so when he did I knew it was because he wanted to. Seeing the tears on his face burned a hole in my heart. The last time he cried he was eight years old and I threw his favorite baseball into the lake. He never forgave me for it.
“I love you so much, Liv. That will never change.”
That was a relief.
“And I don’t see you differently…”
I relaxed into his chest.
“Please forgive me for everything I did.”
“It’s forgotten.”
“Did you call the police when it happened?” Judging the sadness in his tone, I knew he already suspected the answer.
“No.”
“Who was it?”
It was Scotty all over again. “I didn’t know their names.” My brother was crazy. I could control Scotty because he loved me, but I couldn’t control Ash in the same way. He was like a firecracker that could go off any second. And he was in medical school. I didn’t want him to jeopardize his future over this.
“Do you know what they look like?”
“No…it was all a blur.”
He sighed. “It’s too late to report it to the police.”
“I wouldn’t even know who to identify.”
“Damn.” He seemed worked up over this.
“Ash, I’m fine. I wasn’t for the past six months but Scotty has really put me back together. With him, I feel alive again. I’m not scared and he doesn’t pressure me to do something I’m uncomfortable with.”
“That’s ironic.”
“What?”
“He used to be the biggest manwhore and now he’s being patient with you. It’s crazy how much a single girl can change a guy.”
“Well, I’m special to him.”
“Clearly.” There was no sarcasm in his voice.
I grabbed his hand. “Let’s just move on, okay?”
He sighed. “I wish you had told me sooner. I could have helped you, not picked on you.”
“What’s done is done.”
“If you remember who they are or see them around campus, I want to know. I will rip their faces off.”
I knew it wasn’t an idle threat. “I know.”
He closed my hand with both of his. “I love you.” He never said that to me. It was something we only exchanged in intense moments, like when the other one had hit their lowest point.
“I love you too.”
Now that my brother knew, the weight on my chest had been lifted. I felt a million times better. Somehow, telling him and Scotty was therapeutic. Admitting it out loud made it real, but it almost reminded me it was in the past. The more time I said it, the less painful it was.
I was in a much better mood over the next few days at school. There was a skip in my step and I was happy. Whenever I was with Scotty, I was at my prime. He made me laugh and melt at the same time. He was my prince charming, my hero. I never expected to find a relationship with him, but now he was my best friend. And he was my lover.
I loved fooling around with him. It didn’t scare me in the least. It wasn’t even comparable to that horrific night. It was beautiful and intimate. Scotty stared at me, watching my reaction to everything he did. He was always gentle, always making sure it was what I really wanted. I never felt rushed or pressured. He’d wait an eternity until I was ready.
But I think I am ready.
I was ready to join my soul with his, to finally take the big step to my recovery. I didn’t just want him in a sexual way. I wanted all of him, to feel him like I’d never felt anyone before. He was everything to me and I was madly in love. It’s what I wanted.
When I went to the library to study, all I could think about was Scotty. I imagined how he would feel leaning over me. I wanted to feel him between my legs, stretching me in a gentle and good way. His lips would make love to mine and our bodies would move together.
My thoughts were in the gutter.
Every time I tried to focus again, I imagined Scotty naked. I remembered every inch of his skin. His muscles were packed and strong. Sometimes he reminded me of a grizzly bear when he was particularly aroused. He had a glint in his eye, like he wanted to take me and not stop. But he never acted on it and kept his restraint.