Unforgivable (11 page)

“I brought you some dinner,” she said on a rush of words, shoving the container at him. “And dessert,” she added when he looked down at her offering. “I don’t like chocolate.” This wasn’t coming out right at all.

He didn’t take her offering. Instead, his smoky gaze took her in and made her realize how she was dressed. “That’s a nice change from the way I’ve seen you dressed before.”

A glance down revealed puckered nipples showing through the fabric. She crossed her arms in front of her. “It belongs to the girl who works with me. It’s probably way too young for me.”

A faint smile flickered in his eyes when he said, “Works for me.”

Realizing he’d never taken the food, she covered her breasts with one hand and held out the container again. “We had some leftover food. I don’t know if you have anything to heat it up with, but it’d probably be okay cold.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” He glanced beyond her to the general direction of her house. “Where’s Ben?”

“In town.”

He studied her for a moment, making her feel as though he was reading her soul, knowing about the fight.

“I’d better get going,” she said. It was dumb, bringing the food. And the way he was looking at her made it nearly cross the line into dangerous. She was married and had no intention of breaking her vow.

He nodded toward the porch. “Come up and have a drink before you head back. You look thirsty.” Before waiting for her response, he walked back to the porch. His movements were fluid with lupine grace. And those eyes could definitely belong to a wolf sizing up his prey. He turned to find her still standing there. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to eat you up.”

She nearly choked at that, but pushed herself forward. “Maybe just a quick drink.”

Could he know her throat was tight and dry? Could he know the reason wasn’t the long walk? She followed, setting her rejected food on the railing. 

A notepad covered in his scribbles sat askew atop a stack of folders on the faded boards of the porch. There was also a map, a cell phone and a beeper beneath an open box holding two slices of pepperoni and mushroom pizza. He held out the rocking chair to her. Her legs were a bit wobbly, probably from the walk, so she sank onto the wooden chair.

“Pizza?” he asked when he saw her looking at the box.

“You don’t take my food, so I won’t take yours.”

He lifted one edge of his mouth. “One has nothing to do with the other. Giving and receiving,” he clarified. “Water or chocolate milk?” he asked, holding up a dripping bottle of each from the cooler. 

She could see his own bottle of Nestle’s chocolate milk on the railing. “Water, please.”

He opened it and handed it to her. One of the cold drops of water dripped on her arm. He leaned against the railing in front of her, looking completely at ease. He picked up his bottle and took a swig. His neck was long, and she felt something shift inside her as she watched the muscles move as he swallowed. She looked away when he stopped drinking. She didn’t understand these strange feelings that eased through her body the way wine did on an empty stomach. She took a drink. Because she could feel him watching her the way she’d been watching him, she got nervous and dribbled down her chin. She rubbed it with the sleeve of her shirt.

“Is that why you came here tonight?” he asked.

“Yes. And…I just needed a walk.” She glanced down at the array of paperwork on the floor. “Did I interrupt you?”

“A beautiful nymph materializes out of the forest as if by magic, and you think I’d mind?”

“I’m not beautiful.” The words rushed out before she could even think to stop them.

He crossed his arms in front of him, framing a square of tan, flat stomach between his arms and the waistband of his faded jeans. “You really don’t think you’re beautiful, do you? What would you rate yourself on a scale of one to ten?”

Her fingers tightened on the worn edge of the chair arms. “That’s silly. I don’t rate myself.” He waited, sending a shiver through her as he studied her. “Okay, a five.”

“You’re serious?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Who cares about scales?”

“Nine.”

“What?” Her throat tightened all over again, despite the recent wash of water.

“I’d say you’re a nine. Definitely. Ten with makeup, I bet.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he was serious. She should never have worn this outfit over here. “It’s just the clothes,” she said at last.

He lifted an eyebrow. “I bet you look just as good without them.”

Did he mean naked? She didn’t allow herself to even think about it. “I’d better get back, in case Ben returns…”

She pushed out of the chair, only to find herself face to face with him. He touched her, running his thumb down her chin as he held her face. She heard herself inhale, but couldn’t make herself move away.

To her horror, her chin trembled. His eyes were amazing up close like this as they looked into hers. Smoky blue, full of secrets and shadows. His thumb slid over her lower lip, making the trembling worse.

“You’re not a five, Katie,” he said, his voice as smoky as his eyes. “Whoever’s been telling you that is lying.”

She wanted to say that no one had told her that, it’s just what she’d assumed given all indications, but she couldn’t say anything at the moment. Her heart was hammering so loud it felt like an earthquake. How could he do this to her with just a simple, innocent touch that didn’t make her feel innocent at all?

“I didn’t come here to interfere with your marriage,” he said. 

Then, in total contradiction of that, he slid his hand up her cheek and pulled her close. When his mouth touched hers, it felt as though her heart exploded. Like Silas had plugged her in and sent a surge of electricity to places long dormant. His mouth moved against hers for a few moments, and his nose brushed against hers.

He moved back, leaving her straining for more. Then embarrassment and shame washed over her just as desire had moments ago. She covered her mouth.

He turned his cheek to her. “Go ahead and slap me.”

Slap him? Heck, she wanted him to kiss her again! She stumbled back, nearly tripping on the rocking chair. “Why’d you come back here, Silas? Tell me.” 

“I’m not ready to tell you yet, Katie. But I will.”

She didn’t like the grim look on his face. “Don’t do that. Don’t kiss me again.”

She grabbed up her container; the chocolate rose dropped to the steps. She left it there and tried not to run. What worried her most was that Silas hadn’t responded. Something else worried her more: the feeling that she was the reason for his return.

CHAPTER  7

Katie ran through the woods, using the exertion to clear her head. Kissing Silas…well, that wasn’t supposed to have happened. She had to take responsibility for putting herself in the position. Maybe that’s what she wanted.

But she couldn’t have it.

Silas was an unknown quantity, and he made no effort to change that. He didn’t settle down. That’s all she knew about him. And what about the weird way he could tell what she was thinking?

Birds scattered at the sound of her pounding footsteps. The dying sunlight filtered through the trees once she exited the deep forest of evergreens. Now her shirt had pulls all over it. It was just as well. She wasn’t going to wear it again.

That’s what it was; the clothes made her do it!

A sheen of sweat covered her, and sticks tangled in her hair. She hoped Ben wasn’t there. She needed some time to gather herself.

Though she didn’t deserve the luck, it came in the form of the empty driveway. She tossed her clothes in the back of the closet and jumped into the cold shower. She was wrapped in a robe by the time Ben returned home.

She was sure guilt was splashed all over her face, but Ben pulled her into his arms.

“I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at you. You can’t blame a guy for wanting his wife to himself, can you?”

He pulled back and waited for her answer. She could only shake her head, thinking she’d never kissed anyone other than Ben until tonight.

“I’m sorry too, Ben.” She couldn’t tell him how sorry.

“I want you to volunteer at the fair.”

“Really? Are you going to volunteer, too?”

“No, but don’t worry about me. You do whatever it is you’re going to do. You’re right. Even if I’m not with you, I’ll be among friends.”

Her smile faded, but she plastered it back on. Maybe they’d accept her, and she could say that, too.

When the doorbell rang, she had the terrifying feeling it was Silas coming to apologize for kissing her. When Ben answered the door, she wasn’t sure which was worse: Silas or Gary Savino.

She could see his official vehicle parked outside, the Explorer painted in the county colors. He was in full uniform, looking arrogant enough to rule the world. She’d done her best to avoid him in the last six months. She couldn’t help remembering the time he’d cornered her outside the grocery store right after she’d married Ben. He’d wanted to talk to her about Boots. He’d pinned her against the wall, but she’d slipped out and ran inside. 

Gary’s dark hair was slicked away from his face. He was muscular and wore shirts small enough to show off the muscles he obviously worked so hard for. His presence in the security of her home unnerved her.

“Mr. Ferguson,” he said with a nod, then slid his dark-eyed gaze to her. “Katie.” Just the way he said her name in that drawn-out way slithered down her spine. “Sheriff said you mentioned someone being out at the old Koole place, and he asked me to check up on it. I wanted to get some details.” He flipped open his small notepad. Instead of looking at Ben, like most people did, he looked at Katie. “You think someone’s at the house?”

She looked at Ben, totally lost. Had he known she’d been over there?

Ben said, “I saw a car in the driveway. Or at least the reflection of the sun against a bumper.”

Is that all he’d seen? Her chest felt paralyzed. She pushed out, “It was probably the sun reflecting off the windows.”

Gary hadn’t taken his brown eyes off her, even while Ben spoke. “There ain’t no glass in the windows. They’re all boarded up.”

“I’d appreciate you checking it out,” Ben said. “Katie insists on wandering around in the woods, and with that girl disappearing up near Haddock, it worries me to death.” 

“Carrie Druthers was a troublemaker. Probably deserved what she got.” Gary finally shifted his gaze from her to the house. No telling what he thought about the interior. He strolled around at his leisure. “Interesting place you got here. Kinda like a girl’s dollhouse.” His gaze alighted on the dollhouse itself.

Ben beamed at the compliment, if that’s what it was. “I wanted to give Katie the kind of place she’d never had as a girl. Secure and cozy.”

She just wanted Gary to leave, and she wanted him to leave Silas alone. “If we see anything suspicious over there, we’ll call you.”

Gary didn’t seem to hear her. He finished his scan of the living area with her candy-pink robe and slippers with the bunny faces Ben had bought her last Christmas. “Nice shoes.” 

Was he being sarcastic? She automatically tucked them within the folds of her robe. “I really don’t think you need to check out the Koole place.”

Ben asked, “Any reason he shouldn’t check it out, Katie?”

Guilt bloomed on her face. If he knew and she lied… “Silas is there.”

Silence fell like a leaden sunset. Both men looked as though she’d admitted she’d kissed the man. She shrugged. “When I went for a walk earlier, I discovered him there.” Not a lie, technically. “I haven’t seen him in years, didn’t know he’d returned to town. Anyway, I didn’t figure it was a big deal, him being there. He wasn’t doing anything illegal and he did live there once.”

Gary’s expression hardened. “Doesn’t mean he has any business being there. It’s owned by that snobby corporation, and even if they are jerks, Silas don’t have any right to be there.”

“But—” 

Ben squeezed her shoulder. “Katie, let him check it out.” Each word carried the weight of a stone.

Gary watched their exchange with interest. His hand rested comfortably on his baton handle. She shifted her gaze to Ben. He was telling her to let it go. After they’d just made up, after he’d acceded to let her volunteer at the fair, she didn’t want to go against him. 

What happened to you, Katie?

A memory slipped into her mind, that feisty little girl who insisted on reporting Gary. Who feared nothing. Who did everything with passion.

“He’ll probably be gone in a few days,” Katie said, moving out of Ben’s grasp. “He’s not doing anything wrong. Leave him be.”

Ben’s voice sounded hard. “He has no right to be here.” He looked at Katie with cold eyes. “I don’t trust him.”

The leather holster on Gary’s waist squeaked as he moved to the door. “Don’t worry, Dr. Ferguson. The low-life has no business being there. I’ll see to it that he’s gone by morning.”

Ben nodded. “I knew you’d handle things.”

Gary didn’t warm to the compliment the way others did. He looked at Katie once more before walking out onto the porch. Once the door closed, Ben said, “Is that what this is all about?”

“What?”

“Your mood, your wandering around…”

“No!” She crossed her arms over her chest and walked into the kitchen. “I just want…”

“What?” He followed her.

She looked at her gazebo in the waning light. Her space. Her garden. She wanted too damn much. “I just want you.” She moved into Ben’s arms, wishing it was true. 

He breathed out in relief, she suspected. “Good. That’s all I want, too.”

Gary remained outside the door, trying to listen to their conversation. Ben was pissed, that much he could tell. Katie was up to something. There was guilt written all over that pretty face. Surely she wasn’t messing with Silas Koole. 

He walked quietly down the steps to his truck. He’d gotten the old Explorer when he’d joined the county sheriff’s office, which entitled him to all the rural calls in the far reaches of the county.  He’d been to every corner, every piece of crap house and doublewide and places nobody even knew existed.