Uninhibited (Unlikely Lovers) (40 page)

Hmm...

Chap
ter 28

Janice must’ve been a really good friend of Carol’s because the tight-lipped smile she gave Alan as he crossed her threshold was cold enough to freeze the nuts off a moose, and his own balls felt a little frosty. She gave Emily a hug and wished her a merry Christmas. All Alan got was a terse hello before she took the bowl of tofu salad from him and carried it into the dining room.

“Thanks for the heads up,” he whispered to Emily as he helped her out of her coat. “Damn. If looks could kill…”

“She said she would at least
try
to be civil,” Emily said. “Obviously she isn’t trying hard enough.”

Todd’s greeting was
much more enthusiastic. Flinging his arms around Emily, he gave her a ruthless hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, Em! Hey, Alan. Good to see you.” He gave Alan a hug, then stood back, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. “So, was I right?”

“Yes, you were,” Emily said, laughing. “He’s practically perfect in every way.”

“And so is she,” Alan said, looping an arm around her waist.

“Todd, could you get the rest of the presents out of the Jeep?” Emily asked. “We couldn’t carry them all.”

“No problem.” He leaned closer to her and added in an undertone. “So glad you two are finally here. It’s been a little chilly, if you know what I mean.”

While Todd went out to get the gifts, Emily introduced Alan to the rest of the family.

Following the introduction, Ned merely nodded and gave Alan’s hand a perfunctory shake. A tall man with brown hair and glasses, he had a sort of sweater-wearing college professor air about him, while Janice, a petite brunette, was stylishly dressed in a manner more befitting the wife of a bank president. Everything about them seemed a little too perfect. The living room could’ve graced the pages of a magazine, and the Christmas tree didn’t have a single strand of tinsel out of place. Their expressions, however, were anything but festive. Ned was clearly annoyed, and Janice looked like she was about to explode.

“And those two who
I’m sure would rather be hanging out with their friends are Jeremy and Mandy,” Emily said, indicating her niece and nephew. Mandy was a thin, pale girl with straight dark hair who reminded Alan of Violet from
The Incredibles.
Jeremy, on the other hand, resembled Justin Bieber.

“Not on Christmas,” Mandy said,
giving Emily a hug. “I sure wish Gram and Gramps were here, though.”

“I know.” Emily
hugged her nephew and ruffled his hair. “It doesn’t seem right without them, does it?”

“You got that right,” Jeremy said. “Mom’s been
freaked out all week, and it’s getting worse!”

Emily winked at him. “Hey, it’s tough throwing a party for such a demanding crowd.”

Jeremy snickered. “Yeah, right. Like we’re
so
hard to please.”

“You’d be surprised. ‘If the turkey is dry, we won’t eat it,’” Janice mocked. “If I’ve heard that once, I’ve heard it a dozen times.”

Mandy rolled her eyes. “We were just teasing you, Mom.”

“
You should do what Mom does and make a gallon of gravy,” Emily suggested to Janice. She glanced at Alan. “Or have Alan do it.”

Janice snorted. “Do what? Bake the turkey?
I just took it out of the oven. It’s done.”

Emily giggled. “No.
I mean make the gravy. Alan can even make
tofu
taste good. His oatmeal isn’t bad, either.”

Alan wasn’t sure touting his cooking skills was the best way to
stop Janice from staring daggers at him.

Turned out he was wrong.

“Kitchen’s that way,” Janice said, sounding relieved. “Honest to God, I’ve never been so stressed out in my life.” Untying her apron, she handed it over. “Have at it, Alan.”

It wasn’t much, but
at least it was a step in the right direction.

“You’ve fixed lots of dinners before,
Janice,” Ned said. “I don’t see why—”

“
You
wouldn’t,” Janice snapped.

Oh, shit.
Alan glanced at Emily hoping she’d intervene.

She didn’t.

“Fixing Christmas dinner is a tough job,” Alan said. “Nothing else comes close—unless it’s Thanksgiving, or maybe a wedding.” He thought for a moment. “No. Weddings are worse. I’ve catered a couple.”

“
Really? You’ve catered weddings?” Alan wasn’t sure if Emily was impressed or incredulous—her round-eyed expression could’ve gone either way.

He donned the apron, chuckling. “Yeah. Even health food junkies and hippies get married now and then.”

Emily giggled. “What kind of cake do you make for a wedding like that? Whole wheat with tofu frosting
?”

“Actually, my specialty is organic carrot cake.”

Her eyes widened even further. “And you haven’t made one for me yet? What’s the matter with you? I love carrot cake.”

“I’ll surprise you someday.”
With a wink, he nodded toward the kitchen. “In the meantime, you want to help me make the gravy?”

“
Sure. I’ll be your taste-tester.” The slight lift of her brow and hungry glint in her eyes suggested she might be more interested in tasting him than the gravy. Nonetheless, she hooked her arm through his and led the way.

Too bad we aren’t home alone
.

“Nice kitchen,” he remarked
as he eyed the cherry cabinets and tile floor.

Emily
chuckled. “Yeah, just as picture perfect as the rest of the house. I couldn’t live here.”

“I dunno,
I could get used to this.” Copper pots hung over an island complete with   a gas range, prep table and sink, and a built-in grill—upon which a stainless steel roasting pan now sat. “Looks like one of the sets on Food Network.”

“Yeah. This is the ‘
dream kitchen’ Janice begged Ned for a few years back.”

“Must’ve cost a
bundle.” The copper pots alone were worth a small fortune. “What kind of work do they do?”

“Ned’s a computer systems analyst. Janice is
a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t stay at home very much.” Pulling open a drawer, she rummaged around until she found a turkey baster. “She does a lot of volunteer work.”

“Which
I’m guessing is how she met Carol.” He lifted the lid on the roaster to reveal a nicely browned twenty-pounder in all its glory. “Damn, that smells good.” Tipping the pan, he checked the bottom. “Lots of good drippings. Janice probably could’ve done this herself.” A saucepan full of giblets simmered on the range. “See? She’s even making broth.”

Emily shrugged. “Gives you the opportunity to win her over, though. Doesn’t it?”

“Win who over?” Janice asked as she entered. “Me? Trust me, if you can make gravy as good as Mom’s—” She paused, clearing her throat before continuing. “I’d be ever so grateful.”

“Never having tasted your mother’s gravy, I can’t promise anything, but I usually do a pretty good job.
” He paused, frowning as Janice succumbed to a coughing fit. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Janice gasped. “Just got choked on a piece of peppermint.”

The way Emily was scowling at her sister, Alan suspected there might be more to it than that, but he let it drop. He was treading on some pretty thin ice as it was.

Ned stuck his head in the door. “Can the bird be saved?”

“Doesn’t need saving,” Alan said. “It looks great. You all are picking on her for nothing.”

“Yeah, well, it keeps us entertained.” Ned opened the refrigerator. “Anyone for a shot of eggnog?”

“I’ll have some,” Emily said. “As long as it’s got plenty of booze in it.”

“
Sure does,” Ned replied. “But instead of adding the traditional Maker’s Mark, I made an Irish version this year with Jameson and Bailey’s.”

Emily’s eyes lit up. “Sounds
delicious! I’ve never been a big fan of bourbon.”

Ned poured out a glass and handed it to her with a flourish. “Guaranteed to give you a brogue any Irish lass would be proud to p
ossess.”

He seems to be in a better mood.
Alan wondered why. Maybe he was relieved that Janice hadn’t ripped Alan a new one for driving Carol crazy. Then again, it might simply have been the prospect of decent gravy. “Better give me some of that too. I cook better when I’m drunk.”

Ned poured another glass. “
Drink up.”

Emily wasn’t sure what was going on, but she couldn’t help thinking that during the time she and Alan had been in the kitchen, Janice had told Ned something rather significant about Alan.

But
what?

The part about Carol or the part about
their mother? Either one might’ve explained Ned’s mood change. He’d seemed rather surly when they’d arrived. Now he acted like someone about to enjoy a highly entertaining show.

She gave Alan the baster and took a sip of her drink. “
Mmm… Much better this way. Good thing I’m not the one driving home tonight. I have a feeling I’ll be drinking more of this than usual.”

Actually, getting bombed was sounding better all the time. Maybe if she got drunk enough, she’d tell Alan the real reason Janice was being so hateful to him—although the gravy offer seemed
to have softened her up a bit.

We might
actually get through this after all.

Todd
sauntered into the kitchen, chuckling. “I couldn’t help noticing the biggest present you brought is for me.”

“You deserve it,” Emily said. “Seeing as how you already gave me the best present ever.”

“Just wish I’d done it a long time ago,” Todd said. “Like before you started dating that idiot Chad.”

Janice choked again.

“You really need to stay away from the peppermint,” Emily advised, hoping Janice would take the hint. She certainly didn’t need her sister’s coughs and sputters to remind her that if she’d met Alan prior to the “Chad Years,” he wouldn’t have needed to fuck Carol
or
their mother.

Good heavens. We’d probably have a bunch of kids by now.
The very idea of having a little boy who looked like Alan warmed her heart and made her smile.

“What are you smiling at?” Janice snapped.

“Not you,” Emily said. “I was thinking about something else entirely.” She looked at Alan standing there with a whisk in his hand and wearing Janice’s red apron with
Ho! Ho! Ho!
emblazoned on the front and felt happy tears swimming in her eyes. “You’re right, Todd. That would’ve been absolutely wonderful.”

She
might not have appreciated Alan as much back then. Or would she? Maybe. She would never know, and at this point, the question was moot anyway. Still, to think that she might have been a mother by now was mind-boggling.

Wow.  

Alan glanced up and met her gaze. Those twinkling eyes—as dazzling and joyful as the lights on a Christmas tree—promised a future far brighter than she ever dreamed it could be. “Nothing like making up for lost time.” His lips stretched into a grin. “Is there?”

“So true.”

Ned cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, hurry up with that gravy, Alan. I’m starving.”

Todd blew out a snort. “Gee, thanks, Ned. The most romantic moment I’ve ever witnessed in my life, and
you
tell him to hurry up with the gravy. No wonder you and Janice are having problems.”

“At least I haven’t—”

Emily had a pretty good idea what Ned was about to say, and if he hadn’t stopped when he did—possibly because there were three people glaring at him—Emily would’ve doused him with his own eggnog.

And
buried him with a stake of holly through his heart.

Todd
must’ve been on the same wavelength. “Come on,
Mr. Scrooge
. Let’s go see if we can find some orphans for you to kick.”

“Now, now. You did provoke him,” Janice said. “Sort of.”

Emily gaped at her sister trying to recall the last time Janice had defended her husband in any way, shape, or form and couldn’t come up with anything in recent memory.

Alan tapped the whisk on the side of the pan. “No worries,”
he announced. “The gravy’s ready.”

“Thank God,”
Janice muttered. Snatching up a pair of oven mitts, she pulled a casserole out of the oven. “I’ll be so glad when this is over.”

“We
could’ve waited for Mom and Dad to come back,” Todd said. “But nooo. You just had to do it without them.”

“Next time—if there
is
a next time—I certainly will wait for them,” Janice snapped. “I’m never doing this again as long as I live!”

Emily opened her mouth to retort when t
he back door flew open and her mother and father came sailing in yelling, “Surprise!” at the top of their lungs.