United (The Guardians Book 2) (33 page)

He pulled Sacha into a hug and slapped his back. “Missed you, bro,” he said, amused at his own understatement. Though he was eight years older than Sacha at thirty three, they had been very close friends growing up together at Yarmac & Bogely's. Gable suddenly felt very guilty for hogging Sacha ever since they'd found them.

“Don't be dumb,” Cadby teased, reading her thoughts. “I'll catch up with him later.”

“I missed you too,” Sacha told him with a faint smile. “Not quite as much as her though.”

Cadby laughed. “Go get some rest in my tent. It's probably one of the only places you'll get any privacy right about now.” Even without being able to see Sacha's thoughts, he could still read him well.

Thanking him, they left the tent. Cadby was probably the only one that even noticed.

Once outside, Gable and Sacha paused for a moment to look up and watch the bright fireworks as they lit up the midnight blue sky. They were mesmerizing in an astonishingly beautiful way – golds and reds and pinks and greens. Wonderful explosions that were such a far cry from Ward's terrifying earthquake that Gable felt stupid for her moment of panic back in the tent. The fireworks reminded Gable of the stars back in Zawavia – alive and dancing and endless.

Another raging bonfire had been lit, almost as tall as Terelle's tent. Outcasts in high spirits had already begun to drink around it, laughing as they danced and span and rejoiced.

Terelle was watching on with folded arms. Her lips were straining as she tried to look unamused, but ultimately she failed to keep the grin off her face.

Sacha's large, warm hand slipped into Gable's as he pulled her against him. “This is perfect,” he whispered into her hair. “This is all I wanted. To be back here again, with you.”

“Me too,” she admitted. “Come on.” Her hand tugged his, leading the way to Cadby's tent. She was still limping, but she didn't let it slow her down.

Fortune approached them as they walked. He was a tall guy – though not as tall as Sacha. His time in the underground prison had left him pale and thin, but Gable could tell that when he put on a few more pounds and got used to the sunshine and freedom again, he'd be ridiculously handsome.

“Hey,” he greeted them both cheerfully. “How're you doing, buddy?”

Sacha shrugged. “I can't even. . . Fuck. I just keep waiting to wake up.”

“Not this time. I should never have doubted those dreams were real.” He shoot a cheeky smirk at Gable. “He talked about you in there, you know. Just once or twice. . .an hour.”

Sacha elbowed him. “Dude!” He paused, and then, “How's Gelasius doing? I never thanked him.”

“You'll get your chance, don't worry. They got him to that healing kid just in time. Do you know him? Bloody incredible.”

“Yeah, Fab's pretty awesome.”

“Anyway, Gelasius is fine now. Holding court and letting everyone tell him what a hero he is, the sod. It's definitely going to his head.”

“He deserves it.”

Fortune nodded. “That he does. Moisey's good too. They fixed his broken leg right up.”

“And you?” Gable asked. “How are you doing?”

“I'm okay.” But something flashed across his eyes then; something haunted. The same haunted look in Sacha's eyes. “Physically, at least. The healer fixed me up good and proper too. No more broken wrist for me.”

The crackling of the bonfire and the singing and playful screeching grew quieter the further they walked. As soon as they reached Cadby's plain white tent, Sacha flopped down on the single bed and closed his eyes.

Without bothering to light any candles or turn on the lamp, Gable and Fortune sat down on the chairs by the wooden table in one corner of the room. The room was lit up only by the starlight shining in through the gap in the tent entrance. Cadby had always had simple tastes; had preferred not to clog up his space with material possessions. All he had was a bed, a dresser and a table.

“And the rest?” Gable asked Fortune quietly.

He didn't need to ask her what she meant. His lips pursed as he glanced down at the table, his finger poking at a knot in the wood. She had a feeling he was reliving some awful, awful memories. “The rest will take time,” he admitted. When he looked back up at her, it was with a smile plastered across his face. Gable was sure it wasn't entirely genuine, but that didn't matter much. Fortune was clearly a man who liked to remain positive, and she wouldn't judge him for that. “But I'll get there. We all will,” he added, his eyes flickering towards Sacha.

“What will you do now?”

A heavy sigh escaped him, and he rolled his neck around, cracking it. “I'll go back to England, tell my folks I'm not really dead. My death was faked, so. . .that'll be intense, I suppose.”

“One time he even took a fire elemental who was traveling the world and made it look like he'd drowned at sea so his family wouldn't come looking for 'im.”

Gable flashed back to what the reaper had told her in the hospital that day. It made her sick to think she'd ever been a part of Pablo's lies and deceptions.

“After that,” Fortune continued. “I have no idea. Perhaps I'll travel again, though the wanderlust seems to have faded from my heart. I guess Pablo took that from me too.” He stood then, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. “I should go. Apparently they're all getting pissed around that fire and I could do with getting good and bloody hammered right now. Besides, I think you two have earned some time alone.”

Gable caught his hand before he could walk away. “You should come back here, once you've visited with your family. If things get too weird, I mean. It might be good for you to be around people who know what you're going through.”

He nodded. “I might just do that.”

She smiled weakly at him as he left the tent, leaving silence behind.

Gable stayed in her seat for a little while, watching Sacha sleep. He looked so peaceful, peaceful in a way he definitely wasn't when he was awake. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, pressing her chin into her knees. That feeling was back, that
vulnerability
. She only ever felt truly vulnerable when it came to Sacha.
 

She was so scared. No, not scared –
terrified
. Because when he learned about all the things she'd done. . . God, it made her ache just to think about the way he'd look at her; disgusted, horrified, filled with hatred. It had been eating away at her ever since they'd arrived back home.
 

Not tonight, she decided. Tomorrow, yes. Tomorrow she would confess all her sins and deal with the consequences, but tonight was just theirs. It didn't belong to her past, or their future. Tonight they could just
be
.
 

Quietly, she moved over and knelt on the floor by Sacha's head, running gentle fingers through his dark hair. His eyes flickered open and he watched her silently.

“I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.

“Not without you.” His fingers moved to her arm, and he traced the skin there before trailing down to her hand. He tugged, encouraging her onto the bed with him. She kicked off her boots and crawled into the tiny bed. It was so small and he was so big that there was very little space so they had to wrap their arms around each other and entwine their legs just to fit. But that was okay; all they'd wanted for so long was to hold each other, and they finally could.

“You're different,” he observed, his voice deep and contemplative. “But still my Gable. Does that make sense?”

She reached up and stroked the line of his jaw with the tips of his fingers. “I have some things I have to tell you soon,” she warned him hoarsely. “About what I've done since you've been gone, about the kind of person I became. I've done really bad things, Sacha. Some that I had to, and some that I didn't, but I did them anyway.”

“Okay,” he replied simply, watching her with rapt attention.

“Finding you was all I cared about,” she continued. “Because losing you. . . It wrecked me. It wasn't just you that disappeared that day, it was my heart and soul too. It made me. . .dark, I guess. So even though I started out with good intentions, I just
lost
myself along the way. To the point where I looked in the mirror and I didn't even recognize who I was anymore.”

He nodded, allowing her to continue at her own pace, just like he always had. He'd never rushed her, never pushed her for more than she was willing to give.

And it only made her want to give him everything.

“When I tell you about it,” she said, her voice cracking as her eyes filled with tears. “you're going to hate me so much. You'll see how I've changed and you won't want anything to do with me again. You'll never look at me the same way.”

He brought up a hand to cup her cheek, brushing away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “You worked for him.” It wasn't an accusation, or even a question. It was just a statement. A simple fact. “You were Pablo's. . .”

“Pablo's Crazy Bitch,” she finished, horror rising up in her stomach. “How did you know that?”

“Some of the Outcasts talked about you,” he told her. His voice was cool and even, not giving anything away about how he was feeling inside. “But I didn't realize it was you until we came back home.”

“Oh. . .” She pulled away slightly, unable to bring herself to look into his eyes. “I didn't know it was him. I didn't know he was taking the Outcasts.”

“I know,” he replied simply.

“How?”

“Because I know you, Gable. I know everything about you, remember?”

“Maybe once.” She shook her head despondently. “But when I tell you everything, you'll hate me.” Not telling him, that just wasn't an option. Sacha was the one person she could never lie to, never hide herself from.  

He cupped her cheek again and pulled her face towards his, forcing her to look at him. His thumb pressed against her bottom lip tenderly. “I don't care what you've done,” he stated quietly. His tired eyes were filled with nothing but honesty. “There is
nothing
that you could tell me that would make me hate you. Not ever.”
 

And that was the thing about the two of them, about the kind of intense relationship they shared. Nothing could shake it, nothing could alter it. Not sins, not darkness, not a whole year full of bad decisions. If one of them were to venture into hell, the other would surely follow.

Gable wasn't entirely sure it was healthy.

“But Sacha-”

“Nothing,” he repeated sternly. “Because I'll love you forever, Gable. No matter what. You know that.”

Her heart stuttered, but she knew he wasn't talking about
that
kind of love, the secret one they'd never talked about. He was talking about the other love, the one that had bound their intense friendship together so tightly all those years ago.
 

And the rest of it; that heart swelling ache in her chest whenever he looked at her, or the way he set her skin on fire with a single touch, or the complete
rightness
of being in his arms. . .yeah, that could be dealt with later.
 

“All these things you say you've done – sure, you can tell me about them,” he added. “In your own time. But I want you to know that whatever it is, I get it. Because if the situation had been reversed, if it had been you who had been taken from me. . .” He shook his head and glanced down, like he couldn't bear for her to see the agony in his eyes just at the very
thought
of that. A strangled breath escaped his lips. “Fuck. So yeah, I get it. Whatever you've done. . .I forgive you. If
forgiveness is what you want, you have all of mine.”
 

A choked sound broke free of her as his words just
melted
the darkness in her heart. She didn't deserve anybody's forgiveness, but out of everyone, it was his she wanted the most. And if he was willing to give it to her, then she would be selfish and snatch it up with greedy hands.
 

Her arms reached up and wrapped around his neck as she buried her face in his chest. This was where she was meant to be.

They both smelled bad and needed showers in epic ways, and though she had refused a healer, Gable knew she should probably get first aid at some point. But that could wait, just for a little while. Because all they truly needed in that moment was to hold each other, and it would all be okay.

Fabian had healed all of Sacha's wounds, but they had been minor – he was lucky in that one way. But his scars weren't the physical kind, and no healer would ever be able to wave their magical sparkly energy over them and make them disappear. Those scars would never leave him, but time would help. Lots of time.

“Can I get you anything?” Gable asked after a couple of minutes. “Food? Water? Booze? I've always found that whiskey helps. For a while.”

“I just need you,” he mumbled into her hair, pulling her tighter into his arms. “I need you to anchor me right now. I felt myself slipping away back in the prison. I don't want that to happen again.”

“You've got me. Always. I promise.”

He let out a shaky sigh and rolled onto his back, staring up at the dark ceiling. “I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through this,” he admitted.

Gable placed a kiss on his chest, then leaned over his face, resting on an elbow. “That's okay. That's what I'm here for – to be strong on the days you can't be.”

He smiled up at her; it didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was a start. His hand laced through her hair and he pulled her back down to his chest. She knew that she should sleep – she desperately needed it – but it would elude her for a long time, that was for sure. A cold fear gripped onto her heart with stony fingers – the fear that the second she closed her eyes to sleep, Sacha would disappear from her life all over again.

He wasn't the only one who would bear emotional scars for the rest of his life.

Though it was faint, they could still hear the celebrations raging on outside. By the sounds of it, Terelle had decided against shutting it down. Gable was glad – they all deserved something fun.