Universal Alien (30 page)

I
SALUTED BACK.
“We're informal around here, Bill. Call me Kitty.”

He grinned. “Absolutely, Kitty ma'am.”

I laughed. “Ah, the start of a beautiful friendship.” Stripes yowled softly. “You're cat approved, but we don't have a lot of planning time. The positive is that if you're being assigned to Cliff as a special post, then he's going to show up to meet with you. In addition to his other sterling qualities, Cliff is a mole in the C.I.A. because he's now the head of the Corporation, better known as the Cuban Mob. He's ordered hits on my mother and all of her extended team.”

“Which is down to those three guys you don't want to lose?”

“Yes. But I never want to lose one of my side. As I learned early, though, what I want isn't what I always get. So, let's remember that while I want to take Cliff down, I don't want you to die to do it.”

Cox gave me a small smile. “I appreciate that, ma'am. The best commanders don't want to sacrifice their troops willingly.”

“Batman doesn't leave Robin and Megalomaniac Girl here doesn't leave Megalomaniac Lad, regardless of his universe of origin. Though I don't think I can give up hope and give you Tim's name for reals.”

“Really? That's your superhero name?”

“Sadly, it's incredibly accurate. There isn't a crazed mad scientist or cackling evil overlord I can't make a love connection with. My original Megalomaniac Lad, in this world, is teaching kindergarteners and doing fabulously with it, ergo, he's not really available. I have high hopes for you, though, Bill, because you made the leap for why Cliff's name freaked me out without missing a beat.”

Cox grinned. “Always good to impress your superiors right away.”

“Super, Lunatic Lad. Let's strategize, because that's probably wise, since it was also suggested that a frontal attack wasn't a good idea.”

“Excuse me, Lunatic Lad?”

“It's that or Megalomaniac Lad Version Two Point O. Or Evil Genius Lad, Bonkers Lad, Crazed Bond Villain Lad, or similar.”

“Huh. Lunatic Lad it is, then. Just don't share that name with anyone I know personally.” Cox looked thoughtful. “Outright assassination's out, right?”

“Right. There's a ‘me' in this universe—we're pretty sure she's switched places with me and is in my world, handling things, God willing. But she has to come back here, just like I have to go back there, at least I hope so. And that means she can't come back to discover I've turned her into an assassin.”

“Plus the people you're trying to protect would be affected, especially since you have no proof that this Cliff's done anything wrong.”

“Correct. I just have no idea of what to do. I'm fine with sneaking around, I just don't know where to do it. I mean, other than at C.I.A. headquarters.”

“He's not running his operation from there. But he's also not going to trust me on the first day. Probably not for a long time—my record wouldn't indicate that I was willing to become a traitor.”

“Why are you being assigned to him, anyway?”

“I honestly have no idea, ma'am. It's supposed to be a perk, a cushy post where I can just show up and not have to do much every day, while at the same time getting a lot of face time with important people.”

“Huh. You have a smartphone? I do, supposedly, but it's Other Me's phone and I forgot to ask what the security code was, so I can't actually use it.”

Cox laughed as he pulled out his phone. “Who are we calling or what do you want to look up?”

“Let's find out all we can on Clifford Goodman. I think he's originally from Florida.” Sure Chuckie, Reader, and Buchanan had done their research, but I didn't have it, and besides, what Cox and I might find could be different, or mean something to us that it didn't to them.

Cox fiddled with his phone while I petted Stripes. “You hoping to handle things tomorrow, or, rather, later today, ma'am?”

“Oh, the sooner the better, yeah. I mean, I'd go murder this guy in his sleep, but I know that'll just mean that he has a backup plan in place that destroys even more people or turns power over to some giant Axis of Evil. This guy is a great chess player. Though not as good as my chess player.”

Thought about this. I could beat Chuckie at chess. Not all the time, of course, but often enough. So, did that mean I just needed to challenge Cliff to a chess game, as if I were challenging Death?

Posed this question to Cox, who snorted. “He'd just cheat, ma'am. Someone like this, who's a traitor to his country and on a vendetta as well? He's not going to play fair in any way, shape, or form.”

Pondered this most likely accurate assessment. Then remembered why I'd come to the Lincoln Memorial in the first place. “I think I know how he's not playing fair. Or how we can cheat, depending.”

“Good, 'cause the internet's giving me nothing beyond the bland and obvious on our Potential Mastermind.”

“Then let's just see if aliens were on Earth long, long ago, in all our universes.” Put Stripes back into my purse and trotted down the stairs at regular human speeds, Cox coming with me.

Went around to the side of the building. The foliage looked the same as how it was in my world. So far, so good. Hunted around in the dark—A-Cs had better vision than humans and improved night vision as well. But it was still pretty damn dark out.

Cox produced a penlight. “Always prepared, ma'am.”

“You rock, Bill.” Took the penlight and kept on searching. Found what I was looking for in a short while. The entrance to the underground tunnels. Put my purse over my neck, just in case, took Cox's hand in my free one, and headed down into the dark.

“How did this get here?” Cox whispered as we walked down the slope.

“Put here ages ago by aliens. The Z'Porrah. They look like dino-birds and have nasty attitudes. Earth's far out distance-wise in terms of the galaxy—I think they and other aliens were using Earth as their experimentation station, or maybe even their zoo. The Z'Porrah and the Ancients weren't friends—think of the Ancients like shape-shifting galactic missionaries. But they were pro-humans or at least apes—or, based on the A-C system, anything willing to walk upright and on two legs—and the Z'Porrah basically hate our guts. Both races have affected Earth's evolution, and the Ancients for sure affected the Alpha Centauri system as well.”

“So there's really a lot of intelligent life out there?”

“More than you can imagine, honestly. Fortunately or not, depending on your viewpoint, none of them are here right now. In my world, the Ancients crash-landed in Roswell in the nineteen-fifties.”

“We have those rumors, too, ma'am.”

“In my world, they're real. But per the guy who's my husband in this world, the idea that aliens have visited us here is just a hoax.” We were no longer going down, and the path was flat. It was also familiar. The tunnel looked exactly as it did in my own world. Meaning that somewhere in here were Z'Porrah power cubes. If I could figure out how to get one, we'd be golden. However, it had taken a cube to get into the dead zone rooms during Operation Destruction, and I had no real hopes it would be different here and now.

“How many universes are there?” Cox pulled me out of my power cube coveting.

“More than I think we can comprehend. If my physics or astrophysics or whatever is right, anytime there's a significant change, it creates a new universe. If you consider how many different populated worlds there are, it quickly becomes impossible to count. Infinite variety and free will means infinite potential. However, the significant change in my universe seems to be that the Ancients tried to visit again, and they didn't make a return trip here.”

“Or they did and they didn't crash.”

Stopped walking, pointed the light at the wall so it reflected, and stared at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “The movies suggest it all the time. That if an alien actually showed up here, the government wouldn't extend the olive branch of friendship and peace, they'd capture it and study it forever.”

“It's like that on my world, too. Or it was. The A-Cs are powerful enough that the governments let them move in, in exchange for scientific and technological help and so forth. But even so, we don't go to human hospitals if we can help it.” And before we were outed, an alien being admitted to a human hospital was a terrifying idea, for more than just the fact that it would prove aliens were on Earth.

“Is our technology less advanced than yours? In this world, I mean.”

“No, not really. Huh, I see where you're going with that question. I know for a fact that there are things we have that are A-C created at their cores. And they're here, too.” We went back to walking. “You don't have parasites.”

“Sure we do. Tons of 'em.”

“No, I mean from outer space. Parasitic superbeings. Interstellar jellyfish things that turn mammals into monsters. So does that mean that Mephistopheles didn't destroy his solar system in this universe? Or that Alpha Four never figured out how to put up an ozone shield and so the parasites attacked that system?” Shuddered. “That would mean they're all . . . dead or monsters. At least monsters as we and they would see it.”

“I point to that cell phone you can't unlock, ma'am, and say that, if in your world you
know
it's got alien tech in it, then it's got alien tech in it here, too.”

“So, which aliens came here? And where are they now? I'm the only person who's got superpowers so far as anyone I've run into knows.”

“How many people have you asked? You're hiding, right? I mean, you told me, but that's because of our connection, such as it was, in your world. And you've probably had to tell some others since you, what, did a body switch?”

“Nope, we changed universes, more like how it happens in Star Trek and Bizarro World—like we went through some cosmic portal and stepped out into each other's worlds. At least, that's how it was for me. I'm just spitballing on how it was for her.” But I hoped it had been the same, because there were three little kids here who shouldn't grow up without their mother. “But yeah, I'm not announcing I'm a superhero.”

“Because you know what'll happen to you.”

“Well, that and I also don't want our enemies to know what I can do. But there aren't aliens on this world.”

“How do you know?”

“There's a, for lack of a better description, Universe Wheel. I can see it, sometimes, sort of see all the many versions of me in all those worlds, and I kind of know what they know, while at the same time I don't. But I get the general gist. And the main general gist I've gotten, in addition to who I'm married to in each of these worlds, is that there's only one world where I know that aliens exist and are on the planet—mine.”

“I think the key word in that sentence is ‘I.' You not knowing they're here doesn't mean they
aren't
here. It just means you don't know about it.”

The thought that Jeff could be here, on this planet, was exciting. But what if he was married to someone else? It would be likely. However, I could see people moving at hyperspeed and I hadn't. So, if A-Cs were here, what would they be doing? Not saving us from being run off the road, that was for sure. But then again, that wasn't their job in my world—why would it be their job here?

Realized that I wanted, desperately wanted, the A-Cs to be here, on this Earth. I wanted it almost as much as I wanted to protect everyone, stop Cliff and LaRue permanently, and go home.

We were walking, not running, in part so that I wouldn't have to make Cox sick for no reason, in part to conserve my strength, and in part because in my world there was someplace close by I figured we needed to find or at least verify as being there. As we rounded a corner, Cox grabbed the light, turned it off, and shoved us up against the wall.

Spotted what he already had—there was light shining out of a room up ahead of us. And I was pretty sure that said room was one I was familiar with and had actually been hoping to find. The secret lab and the final resting place of Gaultier's Army of Hot Zombies.

O
F COURSE,
Gaultier was supposedly a great guy in this world. But LaRue was the same as ever. So the odds were in favor of my not liking what was behind Door Number One.

“Could be bad,” I whispered in Cox's ear.

“In for a penny, in for a pound, ma'am.”

“Yep. I'll lead.” So saying, I kept a hold of Cox and we edged along the wall. Looked for traps or tripwires. Didn't spot any. Hoped that meant there weren't any, versus my just being too lame to see them.

Made it to the door without issue. Listened at it—heard what could have been someone working quietly or could have been nothing. The door was firmly shut. So I either had to try the handle and let whoever was in there know someone was trying to get in, or I had to just break the door down, which didn't say “nice person coming through” on the off chance whoever was inside was a good guy, or at least neutral.

While I pondered options, Stripes jumped out of my purse. He went to the door and started meowing in an extremely pitiful manner. I went to grab him, but Cox grabbed me and pulled me back. “Let him work,” he whispered.

Sure enough, the door opened a bit. “Who's there?” The voice was familiar, and as Stripes meowed again, the door opened wider, and a man stepped out to pick up the cat, I got a good look at him. “Come here, kitty. Are you lost? You look hungry.”

“Alfred?”

He froze halfway toward Stripes, then spun toward me. “Who are you?”

Before I could answer, a ball of fluff jumped out of his pocket and went large and very toothily in charge. It was growling softly, but I knew it could growl a whole lot louder. Cox, to his great credit, neither screamed, ran, nor wet himself. Stripes didn't, either, but he jumped up onto my shoulder and hissed.

“Harlie, it's me. It's Kitty. It's okay, Stripes. Harlie is a good Poof, it's just protecting Alfred.”

The Poof gave a confused growl. “I don't know you,” Alfred said. He sounded unlike what I was used to in that he didn't sound happy, funny, charming, or in charge. He sounded frightened.

It was time to talk quickly before Harlie decided snackage was the better part of valor. “Alfred, there's a multiverse out there. I'm in the wrong universe. In mine, all your people live on Earth, and I'm married to your son, Jeffrey. You're my father-in-law. Due to a lot of factors, when I had your granddaughter, Jamie, I got A-C powers in a kind of feedback loop. I can run at hyperspeed, am stronger than most humans, have fast regeneration, and have most of the other bells and whistles, too. We also have Harlie with us, along with an absolute tonnage of other Poofs. I'm trying to fix things here and get home. And I think I need your help.”

“How did you find me?” Alfred asked, still sounding frightened and suspicious.

“We have these tunnels in my world, too. They were created by the Z'Porrah. The Z'Porrah aren't our friends but we can still use what they riddled our planet with if we can find them. There's a lot more, but, um, could you please ask Harlie to relax? I don't want to become Poof Chow before I can save the day. And all that.”

Alfred patted the Poof and it relaxed, but it remained large. “You . . . you said I had a son?”

“Yeah. You and Lucinda have five daughters and then Jeff, who's the baby of the family. He's the most powerful empath in the galaxy, possibly the universe. Well, my universe. I have no idea how powerful he is in this one.”

Tears rolled down Alfred's face. “Lucinda is alive where you come from?”

Got the proverbial bad feeling in my stomach. “Um, yeah, yeah she is. Can you call Harlie off and can we come in? I'll fill you in and then I think you need to fill me in. Because I'm just spitballing here, but it sounds like things are very different in this universe than they are in mine.”

He nodded. “Your military escort?”

“Lieutenant Commander William Cox, sir, U.S. Navy. I'm on Kitty's side. And I think that means we're on your side, too.”

“And this is Stripes. He just joined the team a little before Cox did, which is why I don't have him fattened up to fighting weight yet.”

Alfred nodded again. “Come in. I have food for the cat, if it's hungry.”

We trotted inside and Alfred closed and locked the door behind us. Was glad I hadn't tried opening it or breaking it down.

The room was similar to the one in my world in that the equipment in it was clearly decades old. It was also highly functional and, in some ways, highly advanced. In other ways it was highly irregular—there were things I was pretty sure were coffee cans and similar attached to power tubes and so forth. Alfred was the rare A-C male who had strong science, technology, mathematics, and medical aptitude. And it was clear from the setup that he had all of his aptitudes going full bore here.

The door that in my world led into the Meat Locker of Horror here led into an apartment. Had the distinct feeling that this apartment had been created over time—nothing matched and everything seemed cast off, as if Alfred had scrounged it from somewhere. And yet, there were cell phones and such in this world.

In full light Alfred looked even less like what I was used to. In my world there was no way anyone could mistake Jeff as anything but Alfred's son. Here, however, it would take convincing. Alfred was still a tall, broad-shouldered man, but he was sort of stooped, much thinner than I was used to, and he had a scared and furtive demeanor. And he seemed overwhelmingly sad. I'd just seen this with Dad, but Alfred's sadness radiated off of him, as if it was his overriding and possibly only emotion.

I couldn't help it, I hugged him. “What happened to you?”

“It's a long story.”

“We have time, sir,” Cox said. “And I think we need your story as much as you need ours. Fate of the world could depend on it.”

Alfred sighed. “It always does, doesn't it?” Harlie went down to small but stayed perched on Alfred's shoulder. Harlie totally did not trust us yet. Alfred gave the Poof and Stripes both some meat. Cat and Poof jumped off their particular shoulders and the animals eyed each other. They ate with one eye open, so to speak. “Can I offer you two anything?”

“Only if you'll be offended if we say no.”

He managed a weak smile. “No, that's fine.” He led us into his apartment and sat on the edge of his bed. There was a small loveseat and Cox and I sat on that. “I don't know where to begin.”

“In my world, Ronald Yates was exiled here. Is he still on Alpha Four in this world?”

Alfred looked shocked. “No. He's dead.”

“Well, he's dead in my world because I killed him.” Alfred looked freaked out. Went on quickly. “He was like a Renaissance Man for Evil in my universe. From your expression, I take it he was a good guy on your world?”

“Yes,” Alfred's voice shook. “He was a religious leader . . .” He took a deep breath. “I fell in love with his daughter, Lucinda, and my cousin, Terry, fell in love with her brother, Richard. They were a different religion than the rest of us on our world, and my family forbade the marriages.”

“Because you were part of the Royal Family and you, specifically, were heir to the throne.”

He nodded. “Ronald was making headway—those of his religion were always considered lower citizens. But they had such strong scientific aptitude . . .”

“The ozone shield didn't stop the parasites?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about. How could an ozone shield stop a parasite?”

“I don't mean little bugs, or microbes. I mean Jellyfish From Space. You didn't have those?”

“No, nothing like that was on our planet. And we didn't create an ozone shield. The Exonerates wanted to, but they were overruled by my father.”

“Adolphus?”

“You know of him?”

“We've met.” Contemplated what to say. “Um, he attacked me and the Poofs ate him.”

“Really?” Alfred sounded shocked. “The Poofs turned on him?”

“Ah, yeah, yeah they did.” So if there were no parasites, there was a good chance this meant that Mephistopheles hadn't blown up his solar system in this universe. Which was a good thing. But the way things were going, had a feeling this was going to be the lone item in the win column. “So, the Exonerates are what Ronald's religion is called?”

He shot me a suspicious look. “Why wouldn't you know that?”

“It's literally never come up. Richard just refers to it as ‘their' religion.” And me, being Ms. Observant and Interested, had never asked what they called themselves when they were
on
Alpha Four. I was batting a thousand in terms of paying attention. Apparently my other sterling qualities had won Jeff over, because my interest in so many normal person things was clearly not up to snuff.

“Richard? He's alive?”

“Yes and wow. I want the rest of your story, right now. Please and thank you.”

“Ronald was making headway with our people, and the Exonerates were becoming more integrated into society. But my father felt that was an insult to our proud way of life. Our religion isn't based on mercy or forgiveness.”

“Right, you toe the line or you go to Hell, correct?”

“Correct. But the line being toed is determined by the king. And if your king is bad, and my father certainly was, then the people are led to do terrible things. My father, he . . . he had Ronald murdered.”

“And he managed it? Because in my world, he tried twice and Yates survived each one. Those incidents were part of what turned him to the Dark Side.”

“No,” Alfred said quietly. “The first attempt worked. It was during the Exonerates' most holy day of the year. There were so many killed . . . Ronald and all his family weren't the only ones slaughtered.”

Let that one sit on the air for a moment. “So, Richard and Lucinda and Gladys?”

“Richard and Lucinda, yes. I don't know a Gladys.”

“Okay, you not knowing Gladys makes sense. She was the daughter from Yates' second marriage.”

“Ronald was only married once. And his wife died that day, too.” Tears filled Alfred's eyes. “Terry . . . Terry was empathic. She was already in love with Richard and Lucinda was her dear friend. So she felt their deaths, and the deaths of all the others. She couldn't handle the pain, the overload. She died that day, too, in mental and physical agony. In my arms.”

“Alfred . . . I'm so sorry.” So, all the bad guys who wanted to hurt me and Jamie to get to Jeff all had the right idea for how to destroy him. I had to get home to be sure none of them ever succeeded. But first I had to fix what I could here.

Alfred's eyes flashed. “I started a rebellion, right then. And I might have been able to sway the people. But my father was too crazed with power.”

The reality dawned. “You're who they banished. That's why you're here. They sent you to Earth because it was far, far away, but close enough that they could keep an eye on you, and you looked like us.”

“But I am not one of you.”

“Just like Superman,” Cox said quietly.

Alfred nodded. “But I'm not a superhero. I'm a scientist. And everyone I loved was murdered or stripped away from me.” Harlie bounded over and jumped into Alfred's lap. “All but one. They couldn't stop Harlie from coming with me. We're both alone here together, but at least we have each other.”

No Lucinda, White, or Terry meant no Jeff and no Christopher. And all the others in the Martini clan were gone, too, wiped out before they could begin. I was here, and because I was, so was Jamie, but that was it. “What about Stanley Gower?”

“Stanley was executed for treason—he wasn't as close to the throne as I, so he was made the example of what would happen to anyone who tried to follow in my footsteps.”

“Charming, but so like your father.” My throat was tight. “We have an enemy that's trying to do the same thing to my mother—to get rid of all those who supported her, and all her bloodline. He's killed her, and pretty much everyone else, other than three guys from her team and my father. In my world he's bent on Total World Domination, and we're pretty sure he wants that here, too. That's who we're trying to stop.”

Stripes sauntered in, rubbed up against Alfred, then jumped into my lap and started purring.

“I don't know what I can do. I can give you weapons, I suppose. I provide things to the governments, things they need. I tinker, to keep my mind active. When I create something new, something helpful or fun, I let them know. I get paid in bearer bonds, they get what they want.”

“And they don't know where you live?” The last thing we needed was government interference.

Alfred shook his head. “I make arrangements through a variety of scientists I sought out. They handle things, discreetly when necessary.”

“You have some of the scientific community working as your fences?”