University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (27 page)

“Don’t leave yet.” I motioned for him to
stay put. “I need to—” I motioned toward the bathroom and bolted through my
bedroom door and into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and released a portion
of the alcohol I had consumed. It was amazing how adrenaline sobered my body. I
flushed the toilet and stood in front of the mirror, washing my hands. I wanted
to splash cold water on my face, but I knew I’d ruin what little makeup I had
on. I fanned myself as I brushed the tangles out of my hair. I took out my
makeup bag and quickly refreshed my blush and lip-gloss. I was a drunk, hot
mess.

Raven’s hot mess, once again.

I proceeded to open the door, but
stopped. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? I paced the small
area, feeling all of the familiar sensations in all the right places, like I
did when he was having phone sex in the writing lab. My ears continued to ring
and my heart beat wildly, gearing up for the sex-a-thon.

Smoothing the wrinkles out of my dress,
I opened the door. I reared to the left, bumping into the doorframe when I saw
Raven sitting on the edge of my bed. He had the covers pulled back and my
bedside lamp on. The glow reflecting on his face made his light brown skin
shimmer a golden color. He was god-like. Eros himself was in my room.

Holy shit.

His hands were clasped together, as if
he were patiently waiting for me. He looked up and our eyes met. The glint in
his hazel eyes reeled me in and I was one-hundred-percent his victim. All sense
of rhyme or reason left me. If he wanted me, I’d let him have me. Whether it
was part of me or all of me, just as long as I got to experience him.

“Are you okay?” He stood and walked
toward me. My eyes fixed on him and nothing else.

“Y-es.” I tried to catch my breath but
couldn’t seem to inhale deep enough. “I just had to pee. A lot.” Once the words
left my mouth, I wanted to punch myself. That comment wasn’t going to turn him
on.

“Oh.” He had a quirky expression and I
knew I was blowing it. “Then why aren’t you ready for bed?”

My legs went limp and I pressed up
against the door. Raven wanted to have sex with me.

Holy shit!

What was I supposed to do? Take off my
clothes? I had kind of hoped he would have wanted to do the undressing, but
maybe he just liked to get to it, not waste any time. What the hell did I know?

“I, um…I couldn’t get my dress off.” I
had no idea what to say. I still felt drunk, but more coherent than when we
left the party. Was this really happening, or was I passed out in the back of
his car, dreaming the entire damn thing? I forced my head back and when my head
hit the door, I knew it was happening. I was really going to lose my virginity
tonight.

He stared at me, as though committing
every part of my face into his memory. I tried to focus but my eyes darted all
over the place, taking in every part of him. From his head to his toes. If I
weren’t careful, I’d pass out from Raven overload.

“Do you need help?” He rested his hands
on my waist and I flinched. It felt like it had been an eternity since he had
touched me, even though he had just carried me to his car.

“Uh huh,” I managed to say.

He examined my dress for a moment and
then gathered the hem in his hands. “Are you sure you want me to help you
undress?”

I nodded, unable to verbally respond.
Every muscle in my body went limp and I started leaning to the side.

“Whoa. You alright?” He pulled me
against him and then returned his hands to my dress.

“No,” I replied. I definitely wasn’t
alright. Raven was about to take off my dress and see me in my bra and panties.
How in the hell could I be alright?

Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out. Don’t
throw up. Don’t throw up.

The last thing I wanted to do was ruin
this incredible moment. The anticipation was overwhelming and I rotated between
deep and short, panting breaths. Raven began to lift my dress and then stopped
around my hip area. “Are you going to get sick?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m good.”

“Okay, just making sure you’re not going
to vomit all over me.” His warm breath spread along my neck and my eyes
fluttered close. I was ready for him to start kissing me. There was no way I
was going to throw up.

“I won’t, I promise.”

Raven continued in his quest and I
stiffened when he had my dress at my waist. Need and desire crashed into each
other, revving up my hormones. I opened my eyes, taking in his massive chest.
My fingers tingled, eager to rip off his shirt and feel his muscles under my
touch. Not knowing what to do, I helped him pull off my dress, inching it over
my breasts. In one quick sweep, he slipped the dress over my head and tossed it
to the floor.

His eyes swept over me and I cringed
inwardly. Was I sexy to him? How did I compare to the other girls he had? I
wrapped my arms around me, covering my poochy midsection. I made a mental note
to do crunches at least three times a week from now on.

 “Let’s get you to bed.” He picked me up
and carried me. My body formed to his and I never wanted him to let me go. I
wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to control the tremors, but they were
too strong. I was freaking out. Should I try to kiss him? Wait for him to kiss
me? I had no idea what to do.

He laid me softly on the mattress and
stared at me for a moment. “You are so beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I smiled; relieved that he
thought I was pretty enough to be with him. Even though I knew I wasn’t much
compared to some of the girls he’d been with.

His body hovered over me and my heart
walloped against my chest. The tension undulated within me and I wasn’t sure
how much more I could take before I passed out from lack of oxygen and too much
alcohol. I inhaled his scent and it was too much for my senses to handle. My
already foggy brain thickened and my lips quivered. My hands started to slip
away as he rose, but I held on to him tightly. His huge biceps pressed against
my hands and I squeezed tighter.

“Goodnight, Lexi.” He leaned forward and
kissed me on the lips. “Sweet dreams.” The light turned off.

“What? No. Don’t go.” I bolted upright,
reaching for him in the dark. My head collided with his face and he moaned.

“Oh, shit.”

“I’m sorry.” I turned on the light. “Are
you okay?”

Raven held his nose and he squinted his
eyes as though in pain. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.” His eyes watered and I could
tell he was holding back the tears.

“Let me see.” I urged him to sit down. I
placed my hand on top of his and slowly pulled his hand away.

“Is it bleeding?” He tilted his head
back and sniffed.

I checked his nose for any signs of
blood. “No, it’s not.” I increased the space between us and took a deep breath.
My shoulders slumped forward and I felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t
have done that. I just got confused.”

“Confused about what?”

What an epic fail the night had been.
One minute, I was freakin’ a guy I barely knew, then I was swept off my feet by
Raven, and then about to have sex with him, only to find out that I wasn’t. My
throat tightened and my eyes watered. Why the hell? Was I about to cry?

Stupid liquor.

“Why are you crying?”

I shook my head and wiped away the
tears. “It’s nothing.”

His brows knitted in concentration and
he leaned closer toward me. “Don’t lie.” His alluring stare made me nervous,
but in a good way. My lips quivered as I watched him speak. “What’s bothering
you?”

Pressing my lips together, I withheld
the sobs threatening to escape. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Tell me, Lexi. Please.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I
thought you wanted to have sex with me,” I blurted in one breath.

Raven sighed heavily. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “It’s my fault, I’m
still buzzing.”

“Lexi, you don’t—”

“No, I totally misread you. It’s just
that when you asked me why I was still dressed, I assumed you wanted to have
sex.”

“Damn, Lexi, you’re making this so hard
for me.” His voice broke and a shimmer glinted in his eyes. The muscles in his
neck tightened and I could tell he was holding in his own emotions.

“I was stupid for thinking that you did.
I mean, you just told me the other day that you didn’t want to be with me.”

“Lexi, it’s not that I don’t want to be
with you, because I do. I want that more than anything. It’s just that…”

“It’s okay, Raven, I get it. I’m not
what you want.”

“Hell, you’re everything I want and
more.” He cupped my face with both his hands and using the pads of his thumbs,
wiped away the tears streaming down my cheeks. My body was unraveling under his
simple touch. I hated that he had that effect on me. I didn’t want him to.

“But you said you didn’t want to be with
me.”

“Just because I said I’m not good for
you, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you.”

My head spun. Between the liquor and the
conversation, I was struggling to understand what he was telling me. Did he
want to be with me or not? “I’m so confused, Raven.”

“It’s really not that complicated.” He
inclined his head and I followed his movement. “You see, because not only do I
want to be with you, but I also want to make love to your body until you can’t
stand it. Until your begging for me to stop.”

“What?” I muttered, more confused than
before.

Did I hear him correctly?

 “But not like this. Not while you’ve
been drinking.” He stroked his fingers against my cheek and my body shivered
against his touch. Hot and cold clashed inside of me and my stomach took
flight. My entire body soared to an unbelievable height. Never had I
experienced so much affection and attention without even a kiss. Raven wanted
to be with me. He also wanted to have sex with me. But I was too damn drunk to do
it.

Shit!

I couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t function.

“Raven, stay with me… please,” I said,
looking deeply in to his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“If I stay with you that could be
dangerous.”

“I like dangerous.” I bit down on my
lower lip, trying to contain the surge of emotions flowing through me. It took
all my strength not to pull him in bed with me.

“No, you like stupid and that’s me.”

I let out a soft laugh. “You’re not
stupid, Raven.”

“Well, I’m stupid, crazy for you.”

“Will you show me just how crazy you are
for me?”

He kneaded his fingers through my hair
and rested his head against mine. The exchange of energy between us was
practically unbearable. Never had I encountered a connection like this before.
Especially not with Collin. My soul called out to Raven’s, dying to be
connected with the piece that had been missing. Raven held a piece of me that I
couldn’t function without. I needed him to be whole.

“I want to, Lexi, I really do. But I’m
not taking your virginity, not like this.” Placing a soft kiss on my lips, he
said, “You deserve to feel every part of me. To remember every part of me.”

∑

The next morning when I woke up, I
couldn’t help wondering if I had dreamed the entire thing. Had Raven really
told me all of that or was I so drunk that I made it up? I grabbed my phone to
check my messages. If things had took a turn for the better, then surely he had
texted me. Staring at my phone, I saw several messages from Delaney.

Delaney: WTF? Did you take off with
Raven?

Delaney: Are you okay?

Delaney: I’m on my way to the dorm.
Hopefully you and Raven are screwing and that’s why you’re not responding.

A laugh escaped me. Oh how I wished that
were true. But seeing the message did confirm one thing. Raven had definitely brought
me home last night, which meant that I didn’t dream everything that happened. I
threw back the sheets and got out of bed. The dorm was quiet, so I figured
Delaney was still asleep. I shuffled down the hall and approached her room.

The door was open, so I peeked in.
“Delaney?”

I looked around, but she was nowhere to
be found. Her bed was made, which was unusual, and everything was in the right
place. Had someone abducted my roommate and cleaned her room in the process? In
the distance, I heard my phone chime. Scurrying back to my room, I picked up my
phone. I frowned when I saw that it was a text from Delaney instead of Raven.

Delaney: I didn’t want to wake you, but
I had to get going. I was supposed to be home last night.

Me: Let me guess, you don’t want Luke to
find out you went to that party?

Delaney: Yep and my parents just told me
were going to Arizona for Christmas so I need to pack.

Me: Okay. I promise I won’t say
anything. Thanks for going with me.

Delaney: No problem. So, what happened?
I expected to find Raven in your room or you with him.

I laid on my bed, reminiscing over our
conversation. I licked my lips, recalling how he kissed me tenderly. How his
body hovered over mind. Why was his touch so intoxicating? Butterflies
fluttered in my stomach and I wanted more of it.

More of him.

Me: He brought me home, obviously. We
kissed a little and he said that he really wanted to be with me.

Delaney: Aww. I’m so happy for you guys.
Why did he leave?

Me: He said I was drunk and that he
wouldn’t take my virginity like that.

Delaney: My heart just melted. He’s a
keeper, girl!

Me: I know!

Delaney: Talk to you later. Have a Merry
Christmas if I don’t talk to you before then, but I’m sure we will. I’ll be
back for New Year’s Eve and we’ll party!

Me: Okay
J

The second I pushed the send button, my
screen switched to a picture of my mom. I hesitated to answer the call, but
knew I couldn’t avoid her.

Reluctantly, I hit the green button.
“Good morning, Mom.”

“Good morning? It’s almost noon. Why
didn’t you answer last night?”

Um, because I was drunk and had a hot
guy in my room.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t hear my phone
ring.”

“I left a message. Did you not get it?”

Holding the phone away from my face, I
hit the recent tab and saw that I had a voicemail from her. “Stupid phone. I
don’t know why it didn’t alert me,” I stated, blaming my lack of responsibility
on technology. She huffed over the phone and I knew she was frustrated with me.
What else was new?

“I thought you and Luke were coming home
last night.”

“You did?” I paused for a moment, trying
to recall my last conversation with her or Luke. “Sorry, I don’t remember
saying that we were. I had my last final yesterday, so I’ve been concentrating
on school.” I lied, because I’d really been thinking about Raven more than my
tests.

“Oh, I see.” Mom’s voice instantly
changed from accusatory to understanding. “Well, what time will you and Luke be
home? I want to finish putting up the Christmas decorations and I need to get
started on my shopping. I didn’t get a chance when your aunt and uncle were in
town…” Mom continued to ramble and I was glad that I didn’t have another
hangover. The greasy hamburger had worked wonders. I smiled, thinking about
Raven again. He really did care for me.

“Lexi?” Mom interrupted my pleasant
thoughts.

“Yeah?” I redirected my focus and rolled
on to my stomach.

“What time can I expect you two?”

The irritation swelled inside of me. I
really didn’t want to go home, even if it was the holidays. Being around my mom
was not fun or relaxing. I’d forgo the presents just to get her off my back.

“I don’t know, let me call—” I stopped
midsentence when my phone beeped. I pulled away, hoping it was Raven coming to
my rescue. My head hit the mattress when I saw that it was Luke. “That’s Luke
calling. I’ll talk to him and then I’ll let you know when we’re leaving.”

“Okay, but don’t be too late. The day is
halfway gone and—”

“Gotta go, Mom.” I hung up, not giving
her a chance to say bye.

“Hey, I was just on the phone with Mom.”

“Good. Now I don’t have to call her
back.” Luke sounded relieved, but I knew I would take the brute of the nagging
since my breakup with Collin was at the top of her conversation list. I just
hoped she didn’t have plans to try to get Collin and me back together. But
something told me that would be her new quest.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” I sighed. “She
wants to know when we’re coming home.”

“Never,” Luke snorted.

“I’d stay here at the dorms if they were
keeping them open, but they aren’t.”

“Yeah, too bad for you. At least I can
escape to my apartment.”

I rolled off the bed and opened my
closet door, pulling out my luggage. “Rub it in, why don’t you.”

“Well, you can always come over here.”

Struggling with the straps, I gave a
hard yank. “Um, no thanks. My luck, Collin would be there.”

“Have you talked to him?” Luke’s voice
lowered and I listened in the background for Collin. Was he with him or had he
already headed to his parents’ house for the break?

“No,” I quickly answered. “I don’t plan
to either. I’m done with him.”

“Shit. Don’t get so defensive.”

“I’m not.” Thumbing through my clothes,
I pulled a few shirts and pants off the hangers and tossed them on my bed.
“It’s just that I don’t have anything to talk to him about. Our relationship is
over.”

Luke stalled for a moment and I got the
sense that he had talked to Collin. Part of me wanted to pry and ask out of
curiosity and the general care I had for Collin, but another part of me didn’t
want to know. I made the decision to end it and I had moved on.

“Maybe you should give him a call. See
how he’s doing.”

I grabbed another handful of clothes and
flung them on the bed. Frustration tinged my blood. Why did my family insist on
telling me what to do? “I’m guessing you talked to him, right?” I prodded.
“Otherwise, why would you be telling me to call him?”

“Look, I told you I’d stay out of it and
I meant it.” I could hear the frustration building in his voice, too. “I really
don’t care if you call him or not. I just suggested it, that’s all.”

“Fine.” I opened the drawer to my
dresser, grabbed a handful of my panties, and tossed them in the suitcase.

“Fine.” His voice was firm and deep.
“What time will you be ready?”

Glancing around my room, I sighed.
Clothes were strung along my bed and hangers were everywhere. “In a few hours.
I need to finish packing and take a shower.”

“Alright, I’m in no rush anyway.” His
voice shifted once again. I thought about asking him about Delaney, but figured
he had already talked to her and it was best if I didn’t get involved in their
business. After I had forced her to go party with me last night, I didn’t want
to get her in trouble.

“I’ll text you when I’m ready.”

“Okay,” Luke replied and hung up the
phone.

For the next hour, I gathered everything
I would need for the four-week holiday break. I was dreading every minute of
it, wishing I didn’t have to go home. I checked my phone several times,
wondering why I hadn’t heard from Raven. If last night’s conversation had taken
place, which I was pretty sure it had, why hadn’t he called me? I checked the
time once more. It was half past one and I knew he had to be awake. Why hadn’t
he called me? My fingers hovered over the keyboard and I clenched my teeth
together. It took all my effort not to reach out to him, but I forced myself to
be patient. To wait and let him call me. I didn’t want to seem desperate, even
though I was.

At two-thirty, I was beside myself. I
messaged Delaney and she told me what I didn’t want to hear — either be patient
or call him. It wasn’t the advice I wanted, but in reality, those were the only
two choices I had. I opted for the toughest one and continued to wait. After
getting dressed, I finally convinced myself that he wasn’t going to call and I
was so damn drunk that I must have dreamed the whole damn conversation.

Picking up my phone, I texted Luke.

Me: I’m ready when you are.

It took him a few minutes to respond.

Luke: I’ll be there in about thirty
minutes. Let Mom know.

Growling, I reluctantly typed out a
message to our mother.

Me: We’ll be home in an hour or so.

Mom: Please hurry. The news said a storm
is coming in tonight. Snow and sleet. I want to get to the mall as soon as you
get here. We can decorate tomorrow.

I thought about telling her that she
didn’t need me to go shopping, but I knew that would result in a phone call and
I really didn’t want to talk to her more than I had to. With indifference, I
responded.

Me: Okay. We will be there soon.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stared
at my phone as if that would do any good. No matter how hard I willed for a
message or call from Raven, it didn’t happen. I reached into my bag and took
out my Kindle. I scrolled through several books I had last downloaded and
settled on
Taking the Heat
by Samantha Long. I propped up against my bed
to start reading, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus. My mind
wouldn’t stop thinking about Raven. Why hadn’t he called me?

Feeling overly frustrated, I powered
down my Kindle, grabbed my stuff, and headed downstairs. I refused to sit
around in my room for one more minute. Raven’s scent lingered in the air and it
was driving me even more insane.

I rolled my luggage behind me and walked
toward the one thing I knew would help, the piano. It had been weeks since I
had played. A vivid memory crossed my mind and I recalled the last song I had
played was with Raven.

Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after
all.

Pushing aside the memories, I sat my
things along the wall and took a seat on the bench. People shuffled behind me,
hauling their belongings out of the dorm, but I didn’t let it stop me.

I lifted the fallboard and stretched my
fingers across the keyboard. The cold, ivory keys felt good against my skin.
The tips of my fingers hovered over the black and white keys and automatically
started pushing them as if the song couldn’t wait to be released from me. I
played softly at first, then louder and stronger as I unleashed all the pent up
anguish harboring around my heart. Why the hell were guys so damn confusing?
Why couldn’t they just face their emotions?

Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them
back. I had nothing to cry about. Just because Raven had told me he wanted to
be with me and wanted to have sex with me, didn’t mean he would.

I played the chords over and over again,
whispering the lyrics to
Stay
by Rihanna under my breath. I truly didn’t
know what to think or how to feel about Raven and me. But there was something
about him. Something about the way he made me feel. Something that I couldn’t
live without.

I closed my eyes as my fingers continued
pressing the keys. The song fit Raven and me so perfectly. I hated it, but I
couldn’t stop playing it. It soothed me in a weird kind of way. I wished Raven
could hear me playing it. Hear me saying how much I needed him and how much I
couldn’t stand being without him.

“It’s not much of a life you’re living.”
My breath faltered and my body stiffened. I knew I had to be dreaming again
because Raven’s voice was echoing in my ear. I opened my eyes and turned to see
him standing behind me. How long had he been watching me? He stood with his
jacket hanging off the tip of his finger, hitched over his shoulder. He had on
a blue, striped shirt and faded jeans, paired with work-type boots. My eyes
stayed glued to his sexy, model stance and I wondered what magazine cover he’d
be on next. Raven was the best eye candy I had ever seen. The candy my body
craved.