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Her lips parted in shock. His expression was grim, his mouth a hard line, and he wasn't pulling any punches. For the first time since she had begun to work with him, he was telling it how it really was, without giving her any leeway or any excuses. He was telling her what he really thought.

He said, 'Perhaps you should go away for a while. Go away for the weekend, maybe, and take some time to think things through. You'll need to consider where you go from here when your contract finishes in a few weeks. Perhaps you'd do better in research or something along those lines...something where you don't have to deal with patients directly.'

She didn't know what to say. She was still in shock from what had happened and she hadn't expected to hear such harsh words from him. He was telling her to go away, and that wouldn't involve simply leaving the hospital. It would take her away from him, too.

He was right, though. She needed to go away, to think about where her future lay. And whatever she decided, it wasn't likely that he would want her, was it? He needed to be with someone he could respect, someone he could care for and feel good about, but it wasn't going to be her. She didn't stand a chance.

He despised her for her weakness, for her inability to do the job. Why had she ever thought she could make a go of things?

Sarah
looked through the door into the intensive care unit. What was happening to the mother and her baby in there? She was desperate to know that all was well, and she started to push at the door, about to go in. Then she stopped. Her fingers were trembling.

How could she cope if she discovered that things had gone even further downhill after they had left the treatment room just a short time ago? She wasn't ready to face any more bad news right now. Slowly she turned away, and saw that Jonathan was approaching.

'Have you been in to see them?' he asked, looking worried. 'Have they managed to pull through?'

'I don't know,' she said. 'I've just remembered that I have to go somewhere. I'll come back later.'

He nodded, and after a moment's hesitation he pushed open the door and went in. Sarah started to hurry away.

She almost collided with Mark. He was making his way along the corridor towards her, and there was no way of avoiding him. He said, 'You've not been in to see them, have you?'

'No, I haven't. I just realised that I have to go and meet my dad and Jamie. They're coming in to see Ryan and Hannah.'

'Of course they are.' He looked at her, frowning. 'You're off duty this weekend, aren't you? Will you manage to get some time to yourself?'

She nodded. 'Jamie's going on a school outing tomorrow, a day trip to the seaside. I think my dad's going to go with him.' She straightened and looked him in the eye. 'It will give me time to do as you suggested. I'll be able to think through what I need to do.'

'You'll let me know what you decide on Monday? I'd like to be able to get on with sorting out our staffing situation for when your contract finishes. We're going to advertise the position as a permanent staff grade. I want to iron things out ahead of time, so that we can have a fluid handover.'

Her breath caught in her throat. He didn't care, did he? He didn't have any deep feelings for her, or how could he treat her this way? 'Yes. I'll do that. I'll make my decision this weekend.'

He inclined his head briefly, and then he moved away from her and headed towards the intensive care unit. She stared after him. She didn't know him like this. He was cold towards her, rigid, uncompromising in his manner. It was upsetting, and she hurried away, going in search of her father.

'Are you sure that you won't come with us?' her father asked her the next day. 'I'm sure that we could find room for you on the coach.'

Sarah shook her head. 'There won't be any room. The teachers told me that the coach was fully booked and, anyway, I really need to be on my own to think things through.'

He looked at her sadly. 'What will you do? Will you stay here? I'm worried about you, Sarah. I don't like to leave you like this. I've never seen you this uncertain and lost.'

She tried a smile. 'I'll be all right. I think I'll go to the little cove where Hannah and I used to go when we were very young. Do you remember it? We went there lots of times, didn't we? Mum used to love it, and we would climb on the rocks, and you and Mum were forever telling us to be careful.'

'I remember. You must have been about fifteen the last time we went there. It was the year before your mother died, wasn't it?'

'That's right. I think I'll go there today and just sit quietly for a while and take in the sea breeze. It'll only take me about half an hour to get there, won't it? Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.'

She kissed him on the cheek, and then turned and gave Jamie a big hug. 'You go and have a lovely time, Jamie,' she said.

'I'll bring you some shells,' he promised. 'You like shells, don't you?'

'I do. That will be lovely.'

It was an hour or so later when she finally set off for the cove. The weather was warm and the sun was shining, but as she discovered the little stretch of beach once more and went to sit on a flat rock looking out to sea, she felt strangely chilled. There were only a few people there, and they were sitting, enjoying a picnic lunch and quietly relaxing in the sunshine. She felt out of place.

Years ago, she recalled, this cove had rung with laughter as she and Hannah had chased each other along the sand, but now the silence was marked. She felt the loss of her family keenly. Hannah was angry with her because she had failed her, and her mother was gone.

Her mother had been the impetus for her turning to medicine. It had been because of her that she'd wanted so much to succeed. Working in A and E had been her goal—it had been what she wanted to do more than anything—and now her dream had turned to ashes. She wasn't any good at emergency work.

She stayed at the cove for a while, thinking about everything that had gone wrong, and then she decided to stretch her legs and walk across the beach and up onto the clifftop.

She had lunch at a little cafe, and then wandered around until she came across a grassed area where children were playing, with their mothers looking on. There was a bench seat in the shade of a tree, and she sat down and listened to the shouts of laughter as the children called to one another.

She let her gaze drift around. There was a shallow duckpond to one side, and grassy hillocks with pathways curving this way and that among them.

Some of the children were riding on bikes or tricycles, pedalling along the pathways, laughing and shouting.

'Keep away from the water,' one mother shouted.

'Slow down, Tom,' another called out.

Sarah's glance went to Tom. He was around the same age as Jamie, perhaps a year younger, which would put him at three years old, she guessed. He had fair hair and blue eyes and he was having a great time, pedalling energetically along the narrow path.

Just then she saw another boy riding his bike with equal fervour, hurtling from the opposite direction, and Sarah's heart was suddenly in her mouth. They were going to crash into each other. There was no room on the path for them to pass, and neither of them was applying his brakes.

At the last minute, though, Tom swerved to avoid the boy, and then he seemed to lose control of his tricycle. The bike jolted off the path and raced down the hill, heading straight for the duckpond, with Tom gripping onto the handlebars as though his life depended on it.

Sarah jumped to her feet. She didn't see how he could avoid toppling over and into the duckpond, but she was too far away, and she knew that she wouldn't get to him in time. His mother ran down the slope towards him at an angle, but she wasn't close enough either and there wasn't time for her to grab the bike. 'Use your brakes,' the mother shouted, but the boy was clinging on desperately as though he was afraid to unlock his grip.

Sarah was running, desperate to get to him, but then his mother threw herself sideways, in front of the bike. It crashed into her knee, and the little boy came flying off it and landed half on the grass and half on the pathway bordering the pond.

Mother and son lay there, winded. Sarah went first to the little boy. He sat up shakily and started to cry. 'I banged my head,' he said.

Sarah looked at him. There was a nasty graze on his forehead and it was bleeding, but at least he was sitting up and talking. She took a clean tissue from the pocket of her jeans. 'Here,' she said handing it to him. 'Hold this against your head. Just there, like this,' she said, helping him.

She turned her attention to his mother. She could see some blood trickling down her leg. 'Have you hurt your knee?' she asked.

The woman was sitting up now and she reached out to cuddle her son, comforting him, but now she looked down at her leg. She was wearing a skirt that came down just below her knee, and she lifted the hem a little and checked the damage.

'No, it's not my knee—I think it's my leg,' she muttered. 'There's a cut. I think it's all right, but it's bleeding quite a bit.' She looked up at Sarah. 'You don't have another tissue on you, do you?'

'Yes. Here you are.' Sarah inspected the wound. She frowned and said, 'Actually, this looks like quite a deep cut. I think you probably need a stitch or two in there.'

The woman grimaced. 'Do you think so? It is bleeding a lot, isn't it? I think I caught it on the bike, and then I banged it on the pavement. But I'm more worried about Tom.' She looked at him, and the little boy was gulping back sobs, holding the tissue to his forehead. 'He took a nasty knock on his head.' She lifted the tissue slightly and inspected her son's wound. She kept her voice low so as not to worry the boy, but she looked at Sarah anxiously. 'It's beginning to come up in a lump. Perhaps I ought to take him along to the hospital.'

Her face crumpled. 'It's all my fault. He was bound to come off his bike when I ran into him, but I didn't know what else to do. I had visions of him somersaulting into the duckpond and banging his head on the concrete floor. I was convinced that he would drown if I didn't get to him in time. And now look—I've hurt him anyway.'

'I don't think you need to worry too much,' Sarah said. 'I'm a doctor,' she explained. 'From the look of him, the damage isn't too bad, but it might be a good idea for them to check him out at the hospital in case there's any delayed concussion.' She paused. 'I'm really more concerned about your leg. I think the wound needs cleaning up, and it ought to be sutured so that it heals properly.'

The woman frowned. 'I'm not worried about myself, but I'd like someone to look Tom over. It's just that I don't have the car today. We walked here.' She chewed at her lip. 'I suppose I could get a friend to take me.'

Sarah could see that she was shaken up. 'I could take you both to the hospital, if you like. My car's not too far away, and it shouldn't take me too long to run back and get it. We could put the tricycle in the boot.'

The woman looked relieved. 'Would you?' she said.

Sarah nodded. 'You stay here while I go and get my car. I shouldn't be more than a couple of minutes. Try to keep the wad of tissue pressed firmly against the cut, and hold onto Tom so that he doesn't fall back if he should happen to feel dizzy.'

She left them, and returned as she had promised. She lifted the little boy, supporting him with one arm, while she trundled the bike with the other. When they were all safely seated in her car, she set off for the hospital.

Tom vomited when they reached the hospital, and Sarah couldn't be sure whether it was the result of the head injury or whether it had been the ride in the car that had caused the vomiting.

The woman, who told Sarah that her name was Jenny, was upset. 'I should have found some other way to save him,' she said. 'I practically knocked him off the bike. That's why he went flying through the air.'

'He only took a bit of a tumble,' Sarah said. 'It seems worse to you because you were so worried about him, and you reacted instinctively. I don't see what else you could have done. If you hadn't thrown yourself in front of him, he would certainly have ended up in the pond. As you said, he might have ended up hurting himself quite badly in that case. I don't think you have any reason to blame yourself.'

'Do you really think so?'

'I saw what happened,' Sarah said, 'and, yes, I do really think so.'

Sarah helped the woman and the little boy into A and E, and left them in the hands of the doctors and nurses who were on duty. They were attended to fairly quickly, and Jenny said, when she came out of the treatment room, 'I've rung my husband. He's going to come over and pick us up, so you don't need to wait around for us any longer. Thank you so much for your help. I'm really grateful to you for everything that you've done.'

'That's all right. I'm glad that I was able to do something.' Sarah smiled. 'Have they stitched the wound up for you?'

Jenny nodded. 'That nice doctor—Dr Ballard, I think he said his name was—he came and looked at me, and told me that Tom is going to be all right. He told me what to look out for when we leave here, and he said that we can give him infant paracetamol if he needs it. I just have to wait around now for a nurse to come and give me a tetanus shot, and then we can go home.'

Sarah stiffened at the mention of Mark's name, but she said gently enough, 'That's good. I'm glad that everything turned out all right for you. I'll leave Tom's tricycle at the reception desk for you.'

She said goodbye to both of them, and wondered if she would manage to get away from A and E without bumping into Mark. She hadn't realised that he was on duty today.

She left the bike, as promised, and she had reached as far as the corridor outside A and E, when he came after her. 'I heard about your rescue mission,' he said dryly. 'I thought you were supposed to be taking some time to think things through? It looks as though you managed to avoid the issue instead.'

She looked at him, and her chin lifted. 'I have thought things through,' she murmured.