Unknown (19 page)

I entered the personal chamber which was complete with a stalled toilet, a sitting area, and vanity over the sink.

I plopped down on the chaise, shooting out a sharp breath. I tried, I really did. Maybe it was my fault the night was ruined. Maybe I put too much pressure on us for it to be a perfect evening. Or maybe it was just destined to be that way- ruined, just like anything good that ever entered my life. Either way, there was no going back.

Instead of trying to force a good time that wasn’t going to happen with Katya and Reggie present, it was time to cut our losses. I was ready to leave. I freshened up in the vanity- which had very flattering lighting, and headed out to break the bad news.

I gasped when I swung open the door- Derek waited for me on the other side. Instead of allowing me out of the room, he took a step forward, bumping our chests together as he forced us back in.

18

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not allowing anyone to ruin this night for us.”

I sighed before opening my mouth to speak. He pressed his mouth into mine, snuffing out my words.

And there it was again- the beast, the animal, the bad girl in me choosing pleasure over my morals for one last time. And in typical Derek fashion, continuing to force me out of my comfort zone. I would
never
in my right mind allow a man to put his hand up my skirt in a public bathroom. And yet, there I was. It was as good a time as any.

Over the last week, my nevers all turned into reality with him. For a while, I felt guilty, the guilt a reminder that the sane person I once was hadn’t vanished; that person was still within reach. I felt the guilt lessening the more time I spent with him.

As we made out like teenagers in that bathroom, I had to consider that maybe I’d finally slipped over the edge. Or maybe I just wanted to salvage something good out of my night.

Whatever the reason, I didn’t care one…
damn
... bit.

Derek smiled as I reached under my dress, knocking his hand out of the way to grab my panties.

“I fully expected to have to do a little convincing to get you to let loose in here.”

I lifted one of my shoulders into a delicate shrug as I peeled off my panties and tossed them across the room. They landed in the trash.

“I guess you taught me better than you thought. Did you lock the door?” I asked, grabbing his face and kissing him like I meant business.

“Fuck the lock,” he said.

He looked to me for any sign of hesitation. And much like the cab driver, the thought of being seen again gave me a naughty little thrill. I shoved Derek backward, and he crashed onto the chaise with a surprised look on his face as he watched me hover over him.

“Fuck the lock,” I repeated after him.

Maybe it was the apple martinis, maybe it was my desire to fix our night, or maybe I just grew a pair, but for the first time, I didn’t want to tell him what I wanted- I wanted to
show
him.

As I clumsily unzipped his pants, I determined it was probably the alcohol leading my decision-making. The last time I was intoxicated to such a degree, my thoughts convinced me to try to jump into a frozen lake. This time, they were sending me down a fiery abyss.

His erection sprang out of his boxers like it was trying to escape his body, and I wrapped my fingers around as much of the thickness as I could.

My eyes widened as I saw my special gift. No matter how many times I’d seen or felt it, its magnificence still put me in awe. Derek laughed.

“You’re looking at it like you’ve never seen it before.”

“That’s because it still amazes me,” I said as it twitched in my hand.

I lowered my head and opened my mouth wide, a deep groan rumbling from the depths of his chest as I tasted his velvety smooth skin.

Going down on a man was never high on my to-do list. I mean, I did it plenty because I knew Reggie loved it. I even considered myself to be pretty good at it, but it was all for him- it just didn’t do anything for me.

But listening to Derek moan, feeling him squirm in pleasure under my touch, sent shocks throughout me. I loved being able to make him feel the way he made me feel; I loved being able to reciprocate.

Sex was always a one-way street for me. I did it because that was what one did in a relationship. I didn’t hold a grudge or feel resentful that my partner experienced more satisfaction than I did, I just thought that was the way it was. But with Derek, I finally felt an emotional connection to sex. Finally understood how powerful it could be.

At that moment, in that public place full of people, noise, and distractions, he and I were in sync. He and I were all that mattered.

I moaned as my mouth trailed his length before settling on his balls. He sucked in a sharp breath of air, body jerking in surprise when my tongue swirled over his sack, my hand pumping his length as I took each one in my mouth and tasted them individually.

I went back to his shaft and took him deeper in my mouth, my eyes watering as I forced away the gag reflex. He placed a hand on the back of my head and tilted his pelvis towards my face. His body began trembling and he pulled away with a groan.

I wiped my mouth, watching him catch his breath in a stunned silence, a smile on my face.

He grabbed my waist and flipped me on the couch, parting my legs with his knee. He jacked up my dress to my waist, slipping his hardness in me with a low growl. I cried out as he suspended my legs in the air, one of my shoes flying off and smacking against the door.

I sucked in a sharp breath at the deepness, but angled my body to him to take him even more. He leaned into me, my legs pinned to my head as his body crushed mine. He kissed along my collarbone and bit into the curve of my neck as I got lost in the delirium of his touch.

He kissed my lips, and I sighed in ecstasy once our mouths parted.

“I can’t tell you how much I love your moans, but right now, I want to fuck you until you scream.”

He flipped me around and I held onto the arm on the seat as he pounded me from behind. He grabbed my unraveling bun and yanked my head back, my back in a deep arch as his body clapped against mine.

“Spank me, Derek.”

A small yip escaped my lips as his palm cracked against my butt. I didn’t expect it to be so hard, but I loved the icy sting that remained long after his hand left. He did it once more, and then moved to my other cheek. My nails dug into the couch, one of them piercing the soft upholstery.

Another moan caught in my throat as he cupped my sex, and I came in a violent shiver. He bent over and bit my shoulder, not giving me a second to calm down from my high.

“Are you still thinking about him?”

I groaned, backing into him, wanting more despite my sensitive core.

“No.”

He smacked my butt once more. “What about her?”

“
No.
”

H
is hand grazed over my cheeks, thumb landing between my crack as he tickled my back opening. I briefly tensed, but gave in once I noticed how great it felt.

“Are you sure? What about now?”

“No!”

The scream felt great, a release that was needed just as badly as the orgasm that released the tension in my body.

I liked it so much, I screamed again. And again. Until I was calling out his name loud enough to be heard over the DJ playing in the ballroom.

“That’s my girl,” he said, flipping us over so I was sitting on his lap, facing him. He grabbed my hips and reentered me.

“Now, fuck me.”

He rolled my hips to help me get in a rhythm before sliding his hands to my back. He unzipped my dress and lifted it over my head, snapping my strapless bra to the floor with it.

He stuck his face in my chest, smoothing his thumbs over my rock-hard nipples. I held onto the back of the couch and rode myself right into another orgasm, with him following suit shortly after.

And that was it. The last time. I knew eventually I’d find someone to have sex with again, even if I never found my life partner. But would another man’s bells and whistles going to compare to even a simple night in a public bathroom with Derek? I didn’t hold much hope.

He kissed my neck and leaned us back in the couch, his shaft still throbbing inside of me. I rested my head on his shoulder, breathing hard.

“This has been the best week of my life,” I admitted, no longer afraid of how pathetic that sounded.

Derek shushed me, wrapping his arms around me as I trembled in his lap. “Uh uh. No goodbyes yet.”

I smiled, nestling into him. We sat in silence for a while, not speaking. I imagined anything we had to say would sound like a goodbye.

“Say something to me in Russian,” I said finally.

He paused, hugging me tightly as he kissed the top of my head.

After a brief pause, he said: “Y
a dumayu, chto lyublyu vas
.”

I kissed his cheek.

“Do you want to know what I said?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it was, I know it was something sweet.”

He rubbed up and down my back. “Would you have done anything differently this week?”

I laughed. “It would have been nice if I loosened up sooner, but not really.”

“I’m just glad you loosened up at all.”

I shook my head. “I can’t even regret trying to take my life. Otherwise, would we have had the same connection?”

“Do you believe in fate?”

“Yes, but my version of fate was never anything positive- until I met you. I feel like we were meant to be in this part of each others’ lives.”

I felt him nod under me.

Despite our upcoming abrupt ending, I wouldn’t have taken back my actions. Since the start, I knew I would have to face my conflicted emotions when all was said and done: guilt, disappointment, disbelief, even disgust. The feelings had been lingering with me all week, but that night, I felt none of them.

And I should’ve felt them all: I was
still
sleeping with a stranger, I’d developed the mouth of a sailor, and I was asking and doing things that were completely out of character for me.

But at that moment, all I felt was a tug of sadness. The potty mouth, the illicit behavior, the confusion was all worth it with Derek. I’d take all of that weight if it meant staying in that moment with him forever. But it was time to let go, and Derek admitted it before I did.

“Time to get up.”

We finally peeled away from each other, my ankle rolling as I tried to support my weight on shaky legs. Derek caught me, preventing me from falling.

After dressing and grabbing my missing shoe, I went to use the toilet and smoothed out my dress, shaking out my hair. We left the elephant in the room in the bathroom, and emerged with smiles on our faces.

“Want to dance some more?”

“Sure, why not?” I said just as we bumped into Reggie and Danni.

Reggie’s eyes narrowed as he looked between Derek and I. His eyes locked on my wrinkled dress before shooting back to my head.

“Wasn’t your hair up when you came in?”

I was sick of his questions, and was in too good of a mood to let him ruin it. I walked by him without responding, Derek close behind. I laughed when we passed, feeling my hair. I turned to Derek.

“I also had underwear when I came in. I left them in the bathroom.”

His eyes widened. “You want me to get them?”

I shook my head. “Nah, forget them. Want another drink?”

“No, thanks. You’re the only high I need.”

He swept me onto the dance floor, and I didn’t think about the others for the rest of our time there.

19

By the time we arrived back to the cabin after midnight, the air was thick with all of the unspoken words. The night wasn't over quite yet, so there were no goodbyes allowed.

I held onto my vase from the auction like it was the most precious thing in the world to me. I didn’t have many material possessions, and very few I was attached to, so I guess the vase was a prized possession in that regard.

I placed it on the dining room table when we entered, removing my shoes.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” I told him.

I wanted him to ask to join me, but I cringed at his reply. “I’m going to go pack.”

We spun on our heels and went our separate ways. I desperately wanted to break down in the shower, but I refused. He’d be gone in the morning, and I’d have the entire day to myself to cry.

When I got out, he was downstairs on his laptop, printing his airplane itinerary. His luggage was by the door.

When I sat on the couch next to him, he didn’t look up. After a few minutes, he snapped the computer shut and turned to me, handing me the flight information.

I read it before looking back at him, my heart skipping a beat. The flight was scheduled for 9:30 on Sunday, just 30 minutes after mine. We could spend another day together and leave together.

“You’re leaving Sunday morning instead?”

Sunday morning gave us another day. I knew it couldn’t go on forever, but I would take another day without hesitation. Another day meant we could forget the pitfalls of the evening, and make our last night truly memorable.

But he shook his head. “No. You are.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, re-checking the flight. It was Colorado to D.C.

“When you go to the airport on Sunday morning, I’m giving you a choice: go home and continue on with your life, or start a new one with me.”

My eyes bugged out of my skull as the papers fluttered out of my hand and onto the floor.

I choked back a laugh. “What?”

He turned to me, his face not displaying the same humor as mine. He grabbed my hands and looked deep into my eyes, and I sobered up.

“I want you to come to D.C., Shae. There’s nothing keeping you in Ohio. I’ve never…” he sighed, trailing off as he fought to find the correct words. “...
done
anything like this before. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, or felt like this before. There’s something here with us, you know?”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as he spoke. Yeah, I knew. I felt it, too. A week of pretending that it was just sex, just a vacation fling when my heart knew it was something more. Afraid to admit it was something more because I always knew we’d have to part. But now that he wanted to take things to the next level, was I ready to admit the truth?