Authors: Unknown
Sorry. Bit of a sore spot. Believe what you will on the matter. I had the misfortune of having family involved, so I got a bit of a crash course on the whole tripod bit when I was still small enough to sit in mom’s lap. So why read the obvious conspiracy nut book about them? I lost a bet and have to do a ten page writeup explaining why I think the book is stupid.
By the way. Both Agents are fans of Dungeon Runners. Who’d have thought eh?
CALIFORNIA, BRACE THINESELF.
This is me wondering if they’ll let me do a walk-on cameo in one of the back lots in LA. Bah. Don’t think Hollywood is close enough to where we’re headed to make that one work. Headed to some middle of nowhere place that’s home to the first name on our list. Old Japanese guy. Must’ve moved here after the end of World War 2. By what the reports suggest he’s something of a community fixture, so best to be gentle.
This is one time I’m glad Granddad isn’t here. He saw how the Japanese treated their prisoners. It... left marks on him. I’ll say no more on the matter.
Beth, odd name for a place, but no worse than Hell, Tombstone, or Bugtussle. Might want to pick up a few things while I’m here. Hey might as well. My lady love would be a bit irritated if I didn’t manage to bring
something
back with me and all. That and if they sell those
Navajo inspired rugs I might want one for my living room. Anyone have any advice on what sorts of patterns to look for? I’d rather avoid anything looking too ceremonial. I remember some documentary about how many of the weavers would start incorporating stuff into their designs that traditionally would never have been allowed in something so permanent because that’s what the customers kept demanding. Could be wrong or remembering wrong. Sooo guys. Help?
Agent Toot has been tutoring me on the best ways to approach the old man. pity I don’t know Japanese, hope he knows English because otherwise this is going to get odd in a hurry.
DISTURBING DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO COVER THIS.
I shouldn’t believe what this man has told me. Both agents seem suspicious and thing his mind has gone, but they didn’t see the man. His eyes are clear and focused. He holds down a job, volunteers to read to the sick and infirm. He grows his own herbs, teaches cooking classes on a weekly basis. Ye Gods, for someone that’s got the oldest recorded person beat by a good thirty years this man’s active. Scratch that. The guy’s active for men in their seventies.
I tried showing as much humility as someone wearing bright colors and layers of Kevlar can. He listened as I explained to him that I had been attacked sometime before by someone that had undergone such a dramatic and, at the same time, apparently effective, alteration that there were only a handful of people that could have managed it without killing the subject. I made it quite clear that right now I was fishing for information and had not come with my mind already made up on who’s guilty of what. We talked back and forth a bit, him feeding me little bits of his collected wisdom, and me explaining how it feels to be in my grandfather’s shadow while we worked his herb garden.
He stood from picking some kind of stumpy leafy plant and he smiled at me before telling me he was the reason my grandfather was the man he was. He was of a sound mind when he said this. He told me the things he and five others did in the beginning of the last century are the reasons so many Masks are around today. Slowly, on aged and likely arthritic joints, he knelt and asked me to forgive him. In hindsight I have all sorts of explanations for his behavior, old man that’s getting on in years but still exceedingly brilliant wanting to unburden himself about things done way back when. I’ve heard stories of WW2 vets on all sides that had this kind of thing.
At the time though I couldn’t believe he was anything but of sound mind and judgment. So I told him, with the sort of voice appropriate to the situation, that he owed no debts and that what was in the past should remain there. He smiled and thanked me for humoring him.
After that we talked business. He couldn’t completely dismiss the idea that a student of his might have come up with something that would work, but apparently making changes to an adult anything (fish, ant, plant, or human) was orders of magnitude more complicated than starting with a newly fertilized egg. The added advantage, apparently, of starting from the beginning was that if a working alteration the cell cluster could be split any number of times before they had a chance to start forming the different parts of whatever you’re growing. Have to admit even if the idea’s repulsive and disturbing, the man knows what he’s talking about.
This led our conversation to trying to figure out several things:
If Dr. Muckamuck grew Troll from a test tube how long would it reasonably have taken to grow up? We both had to guess that it was at least a teenager if not a full blown adult. Too aggressive to be a child, but it could have matured in as little as a couple years. Sure that’s awhile to try housing feeding and hiding something, but it also gives whoever’s behind this time to train and condition it.
If all our guessing was right. How long would these things live? Elephants live, if left on their own, a Really Long Time. Humans, with good diet and such, also live a Really Long Time. Most other land critters... don’t . Generally thirty to forty years is the longest an active mammal can expect to live, and that’s with better than average food, medical care, and such.
So. Likely dealing with something bred, raised, and trained to hunt me, or at the very least people like me. Groovy, I won’t be able to reason with it and Mr. Kabu said if it was grown to take me on it likely had the same sort of package I had grown into, only altered by drugs, training, and likely with no care for by-standards. All that would have been needed to work off of would be a blood sample, and my granddad gave blood twice a year for about forty years. Peachy.
I know other Masks read this. You see something anywhere from seven to twelve feet tall, green, looks pissed off, and such. It hits at least as hard as I can, and it won’t care one bit about human life. Watch yourselves. Agents Doink and Dink are already passing the word along. I’m going to go pass the word along in
Worlds
after I get this posted.
Even if the man might be slipping I believe his mind to have been sound enough to be on the level with me. I also believe he has nothing to do with this other than possibly being a former teacher to whoever might be. He’s refused any sort of government protection, so I’m asking if anybody from the area would be willing to drop by now and then. I’d consider it a personal favor.
MASKS: 0 TROLLS: 2
Sarah and Hiro found and engaged two of these... creatures. Hiro got more than a bit banged up and Sarah had to break off her fight when it threw a car at a Slurp n’ Shop. That puts these things in the Midwest. Anvil reported a possible sitting but whatever he saw ran for it.
We’re on the way to the next name on our list. Can’t say who, because unlike Mr. Kabu this guy’s got a legal team at beck and call. I will say he’s been in the news in the past about some stuff involving hamsters. Anything else could probably get me into trouble.
Feds are trying to work the money angle, see who’s able to afford things needed for research, growth, training, and all that. Makes sense, and I’ll leave them to ferret it out. Stars and Bars guys, this is the freakin’
IRS
we’re talking about getting involved, or near enough anyway. Guys that could get stones bleeding with the kind of pressure they can exert. It might take awhile, since it’s a big list of possible backers, but they’ll make good on their end. Guy breaks all kinds of laws doing what he’s done, not sure which but Meep n Moop assure me there’s stuff on the books that got passed right after the whole Sheep thing awhile back.
Downside to following the money is how long it will take. Sure we’ve gotten lucky and so far it’s only been property damage, but it won’t stop at that. Frak, somebody
grew
their very own thugs to take me and everyone like me.
If they’re willing to go that far I doubt human lives mean much to them.
MEETING #2
My second meeting didn’t go nearly as well as the first. I suppose getting told at the lobby that I’m not allowed in because I have no ID, in spite of having two federal agents with credentials flanking me, should have been a sign. I tell the guy on duty if he wants proof I am who I say I am he’s more than willing to shoot me. There’s guys with badges right there in the room able to testify I told him to do it if somehow he managed to kill me.
The look on people’s faces when I spit bullet shreds out is always priceless. Bit of a headache and the taste in the back of my throat isn’t going away for awhile, but it sure beats the paperwork shuffle.
Guy was there, we knew he was there, but his secretary kept insisting he was out of the country and she would be more than happy to send one of his legal advisers up to speak with us. I could have broken the guy’s door in and strolled in like I owned the place. There wouldn’t have been a thing he or his staff could have done to stop me from beating answers out of him.
That’s not how I work, because if I started abusing what power I have what is there, short of letting Bombs drop, to stop me? Stan Lee put it best.
With great power
comes great responsibility.
Moving On.
The statements prepared were to the point, in plain language, and contained all the right words. I told the man, off the record, that if his boss had wanted me to trust that he isn’t somehow involved he should have met with me instead of hide behind minions. Told him it wasn’t anything personal, and that I hoped he doesn’t lose his job if he decided, at some later point after people are dying, to come to us with anything relevant. All that strictly off the record and between one civilian to another while Agents Squee and Squick were out of the room.
Were this a movie the man would have been unpleasant, or at least lacking personality. Were this a comic he’d be the creepy little loyal minion that would stand by his boss because That’s His Job. I actually sympathized with the guy. Got a job where they were hiring and he’s tried staying true to his principles, which kept him out of the insurance business and away from celebrities. Guy’s got family with special needs, so while he’s got a nice suit and looks like he’s swimming in money he’s doing good just to tread water. I know this because the government knows this, and they were willing to share. I try making friends where I can, and you never know right?
Still, the guy that writes his checks might see this entry and do the math before bouncing him out on his head. I’ll feel bad about that, but I wasn’t going to mention him at all unless I was pretty sure he’d be taken care of.
An unpleasant meeting, but not completely unproductive.
ON THE ROAD AGAIN.
We’re going over notes and other tidbits that look credible. The guy we left, while up to some shady dealings, likely isn’t it. His main focus, so our sources tell us, is in trying to get bacteria and other simple life that makes the sorts of stuff that gives heroin its buzz. Bit of a grey area legally speaking, but not my problem right now.
Word’s gotten ‘round about my Troll Hunt. I’m guessing that’s why sightings and scuffles are getting more common. Two people hospitalized and a couple others that lost their homes. Midnight and Songbird are down, but they managed to kill one of the ugly buggers. Forensics are going to have a field day with the body, and hopefully having samples will give us a better idea on where they’ve come from.
I don’t like being away from Winston. It opens a hole up that people can exploit and my lady friend can only do so much on her own. Still, somebody’s got to be there when the G-Men find this guy. I doubt he’ll be willing to send up the white flag and hand himself over if they ask pretty please with sugar on top with sprinkles.
DON’T TOY WITH ME.
I am going on the record for the whole world to see. I will not now or ever agree to anybody copyrighting my likeness so competitors can’t make their own stuff with my face on it. As I told Hasbro if they want to make little plastic people and give them my face go right ahead. Anyone with half a brain in their head knows I don’t control or even really care about merch. I’m sure I could make a bundle if I signed in for appearances and stuff, but how long will it be before I’m just a useless poster boy that’s so busy with public outings that I can’t do my blasted job?
Also for the record I like Hasbro’s work. I also like Mattel. If anyone tries comparing me to that manga... comic... thing from Japan I’m going to be sick. That’s unpaid ‘fan’ work. I have no connection to anything in any book, comic, or whatever.
ROAD HAZARDS!
Road Trip on hold while I help sort out a sixteen car pileup. Looks like a tanker of.... beer.
Lots wounded, no deaths (Thank God) and lots of time spent trying to clear the road out. It feels good to have helped, and I managed to get a couple lanes opened before wreckers showed up.