Unlikely Hero (Atlanta #1) (16 page)

I will give you whatever you need because like you said, I really do care. So much. You do make me happy, more than I ever expected to feel. No more insecurities, ok? You have me for as long as you want me.

~M

Hopefully, that would calm her fears as much as her note had done for him. He worked his shift feeling lighter than he had for two days. In the morning he would go to the gym for a regular workout, tapping into his rage only for the purpose of honing his skills. He didn’t need to release his angst anymore. He could focus.

M~
 

Ok, no more insecurities. There’s one more thing I want you to know. Even though I freaked out on you, being so close to you felt so good. I love how you kiss me and how you hold me. I never expected to want to be in a man’s arms but I can’t wait for this weekend so you can hold me again. Can I see you again? I want to hold you right back and pull you close to me this time.

When you moved in like that, it scared me, partly because I wanted more. The thought of that knocked me over. I was scared of myself, and I’m still scared of being touched. I don’t want to be scared. I shouldn’t be…you gave me nothing but pleasure.
 

I wish I could tell you this in person, but I can’t seem to. Thank you for still writing to me. It’s another bit of safety I need, I guess. I still feel weak because of it, but I’m glad I can tell you anything in here. In my mind, I’m giving you a hug right now.
 

~E

E~

Thanks for the hug. Don’t you see how strong you are? Please stop feeling weak. You can’t expect yourself to be instantly ok after being scared for so long. Even admitting you liked me holding you is huge for you. I know that and you amaze me.
 

I’m glad you can lay it all out for me in writing. I don’t care if you tell me in person or not, as long as you tell me what you feel and what you need.
 

As long as we’re confessing, I’ll admit something, too. Kissing you and holding you drove me crazy. I got lost in the moment on Saturday because I want you so much. You are so sexy and so beautiful, but I won’t push again. Not without your permission. Being near you in any way makes me want you even more, but I can handle it. And it’s not just your body. I want every part of you.
 

I’m only admitting that because I want you to know how desirable you are, even if you feel weak. Be confident in that if nothing else. Just the thought of you turns me on. Still, none of that changes things between us. I will wait for you and it won’t upset me. You are too important to me to let us get disrupted by my wanting you. You can have whatever you want from me whenever you’re ready. I’m yours either way.

~M

Tears of powerful emotion streamed slowly down Erin’s face while she read his message. He wanted her. His desire both thrilled and terrified her. The patience he found in himself for her made her want to cry even more.
 

He obviously was experienced and probably never had to wait for anyone before. Her heart broke that she couldn’t let go and give herself to him. She loved him.

She thought about the last words of his note.
I’m yours either way.
He would stay with her with or without sex. She thought back to that cursed party where the only thing that jerk wanted from her was sex. He was going to steal it from her. She was nothing but an empty body for the taking in that moment.

Marcus saw her as a whole person.
I want every part of you.
He sincerely wanted her for who she was. He saw strength and importance in her, and he appreciated her humor and her time. There were parts of himself he shared with only her. She knew that without him even telling her. The two of them had an undeniable connection. He wanted her touch, too.
Every part
.

She suddenly became determined to find within herself the strength to be what he needed. He had given to her selflessly; she wanted to do the same. Neither could she deny her own physical attraction to him. She loved his touch and wanted more in spite of her fear.
 

Hiding within herself had gone on far too long, and there was no need for that with Marcus. She knew he would take care of her and be careful with her. She would draw confidence from him and focus on how secure she was with him. She wanted Marcus and loved him. He deserved every part of her and she realized in that exact moment she was ready to give herself willingly.
 

M~
 

Can I see you on Saturday?

~E

E~

Of course. I’m glad you want to see me. I know I told you I wasn’t worried about what happened on Saturday, but I still think about it and get upset with myself. I’m hoping we can just relax this weekend. I won’t cause any more drama. I’ll even let you have my game back. Can I come over at 7?
 

~M

M~
 

I can’t wait for Saturday either. Seven is fine. And you can keep your game. I don’t need it. I have you.

~E

E~
 

You really do. I’m glad you know that.

~M

M~

Marcus, I want to tell you something. I’ve been soul-searching this week. I really wanted to figure out why I walked away from you. I didn’t really want to, I wasn’t feeling anything but a sensation of flying while you kissed me and held me, but then I got scared. I was scared of
him
, of what he did to me. Five years is too long to be afraid, especially when the source of my fear is long-gone.
 

And how can I be afraid when the person right beside me was you? You don’t scare me. Not at all. So why do I keep holding back? I haven’t let myself experience any part of life. Not physical, not emotional, and I’m so damn sick of it.
 

I’m finally feeling something, and then I went and shut you out. I’m done with that. I want to let you in. I need you.
 

I’ve had months of knowing you, and you’ve been everything I need. I trust you and I care about you…and I want you. All of you. I’m not hiding anymore. If you still want me, I’m yours. All of me.

~E

Marcus read that message over and over. He felt like jumping up and screaming when he saw her move from fear to strength. And she wanted him — all of him. God, he could not believe this was happening. He grabbed a pen and wrote to her again, his hand almost shaking from the thought of being with her.
 

E~

I’m already yours. You don’t need to write to me tonight. I’ll see you on Saturday.
 

~M

Chapter Eight

On Saturday evening, Marcus drove to Erin’s apartment, actually nervous. He knew exactly what she wanted, and he had plenty of expertise to offer her. The only problem was that she was a virgin. She would only ever have one first time, and he needed to make the experience special, gentle.
 

Gentle was not what most of the women from his past had wanted. Most of them were fight groupies that wanted him for nothing more than some wild action. He was very good at satisfying those sex-driven hotties and he loved every minute. He had always appreciated that none of it meant a thing.

But now there was Erin. She was soft, sweet and innocent. She was going to be scared and shy. He knew he could take care of her, but he couldn’t help but be a bit nervous. She had come so far in trusting him, in coming out of her shell and being ready to be a part of life again.
 

He didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize her trust. Her faith in him was a gift. But no matter how nervous Marcus became, he couldn’t wait to have her in his arms and make love to her. Every soft kiss, every curve of her body would soon be wrapped up around him and against him. He was getting aroused just thinking of her opening to him.
 

He also was thinking about the slow seduction she would need. Did he even possess the self-control to go as slowly as she deserved? He scared her before and didn’t want to again. He had no idea how nervous or confident she might be when he got to her place, but no matter what, he vowed to let the passion build for as long as he could.
 

By the time he had her naked under him, he wanted her to be warm and ready to accept him. If not, stopping was the only option. He threw his head back against the headrest of his car at the thought of having to let her go if she wasn’t ready.
 

He didn’t know how he would be able to do that, but having her trust him was more important. If he saw fear in her eyes, he knew he would stop. But God, he hoped he wouldn’t have to.
 

Marcus pulled up to her apartment, took a deep breath, and walked to the door. She was already there waiting for him and opened the door before he could even knock. He was shocked when she threw herself at him and started kissing him passionately.
 

He returned the kiss with equal passion, but warning bells went off in his head. She was forcing herself to do this, and that’s not what she needed. A quick romp wasn’t what he wanted with her. With determined control he gently took her wrists and pulled her away from him.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?” Erin asked, obviously crushed and losing any sense of confidence she had.

He leaned down and kissed her gently before he said, “That’s not it at all. But I don’t want to jump in bed with you just so you can get it over with. That’s not fair for either of us.”

He watched her eyes start to well up, but she blinked back the tears. She was nervous but she wasn’t backing down completely. He watched her eyes change from hurt to understanding. She looked shy when she nodded.
 

He leaned down to her ear and very quietly said, “Give me some time to seduce you.” He placed kisses down her ear and placed a final, seductive lick at the small hollow behind her ear. He was rewarded by a soft, slow exhale from her lips. She felt pleasure from him.
Yes!
 

He moved his hands to hold her face gently, then moved back to her mouth and kissed her with slow, deliberate movements of his lips. He encouraged her to accept his tongue with soft licks along her lips. She opened to him and returned the kiss, slow and deliberate along with him.
 

After a long moment lost in the kiss, Marcus leaned away from her and let his hands brush down her shoulders and arms. He took both of her hands and walked backwards toward her couch, pulling her along with him. He looked up and down her body as they walked.
 

She was in a pair of short, black, very-tight shorts that were probably what she wore to the gym. Her top was an emerald green wide-shouldered tank, also for the gym, he guessed. The color of her shirt set off those stunning eyes of hers perfectly.
 

The fact that she was in gym clothes didn’t matter. Regardless, anything she wore would show off the perfection of her body. Looking at her in those tight clothes was pure sex appeal. His lips hinted at a smile as he looked at her.

“I had no idea what to wear,” she admitted shyly. “I don’t have a lot of sexy clothes.”

“That statement is completely false. I think you’re about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

They reached the couch and he pulled her down against him in that same, cradling position they shared so many times before. Only this time, rather than hold her through her crying, he kissed her deeply. He started slowly as before, and kept that pace for a while. He rubbed his hands along her arms and back.
 

He wanted this to be a total-body experience for her. He let his hand move along her ribs, past her slender waist and hips, and oh-so-slowly down her thigh. He paused at the crook of her knee and stroked along the soft skin behind it. He then gently massaged her calf before he brushed the rest of the way down to her ankle and then across her foot. With just his fingertips, he brushed the tips of her toes…never breaking the kiss as he did.

Slowly he moved his hand back up and appreciated every inch of her soft skin. He pulled away from her lips, but only to tell her how beautiful she was. Remembering his resolve to go as slowly as possible, he pulled her head against his chest and rubbed her check gently with the back of his hand.
 

Keeping himself in check was about killing him, because God, she felt good in his arms. Her breathing was steady, and she curled her fingers around the fabric of his shirt. She leaned up hesitantly and kissed his neck. The touch from her lips was shy and sweet, which made each kiss all the more seductive.
 

This was as much about trust as sex for Marcus, and every kiss from her was wrapped in both. He moaned softly at the touch of her lips, which seemed to encourage her. She kissed along his neck a few more times, and then even dared the smallest lick of her tongue. He moved his fingers to her hair and pulled her so slightly further against him.

“That feels so good,” he told her softly, hoping to add to her confidence, but also hoping she wouldn’t stop.
 

She licked his neck again, more slowly this time, and placed more kisses there. Marcus exhaled loudly at the continued attention from her lips and when he was about driven to the brink of insanity, he pulled her up into another deep kiss, this time with more intensity.
 

He kept the pace slow, but he held her firmly against his lips with his fingers up in the soft curls of her red hair. She pressed herself against him, and he knew she was not afraid. She was only feeling the passion from him – no fear. She found her confidence.

But he wasn’t ready for this to move any further yet. She needed time to adjust, and he needed to experience her in every way. He wanted hours and hours of her body, her kisses, and her skin against him. He pulled away from her lips once again.