Unmasked (18 page)

Noelle suddenly began to wonder why the word “no” couldn’t escape her lips. Was she afraid that she could lose Blade? If she said no, she could be denying the only love that was given to her.

“Come on, Saint,” Blade continued, “Aren’t you eager to be rid of that nickname? ‘Saint’? One night with me, and we’ll erase any affiliation with the Author. No one will ever question your loyalties again.

“Plus,” he added with relish, “Main Characters are expected to do this. Everyone looks up to us, and if we can’t complete a simple task like this, then we’ll have a bunch of pacifist’s running around and the other side will win the war easily.”

Noelle bit her lip until she could nearly taste blood. If she denied him this, there would be so much at stake, not to mention, she
wanted
this. Perhaps this could make her feel fulfillment for once in her life.

After this, she could be truly happy.

Blade arose suddenly as he proceeded to the door.

“Of course here’s the door, if you don’t want –”

“No,” Noelle burst suddenly, “let’s just get this over with, Blade.”

“So you accept my offer?”

Noelle allowed for her heart to skip a beat.

“Yes.”

“Good answer.”

And softly Blade shut the door.

#

Noelle awoke the next morning to a band of sunlight stretching across the room. The bed lacked certain warmth as she peered across the room to spot Blade tugging a shirt on.

“Breakfast call,” he grunted sleepily. “Better get up, Noelle.”

She felt a jolt in her chest at the unfamiliarity of that name from Blade’s lips.

“What happened to “Saint”?” she mused.

Blade stared at her for a moment with a mixture of playfulness as well as the strongest sincerity that Noelle had ever seen.

“You aren’t a saint,” he said. “Not anymore.” 

Noelle palmed the glass of the mirror as the expected surge of excitement lacked when she gazed at her figure in the tightly corseted dress.

Granted, she had lost a few pounds that week from consuming a dismal amount of calories that week. She forced herself to only eat when necessary in order to fit her dress for prom.

A dizzy spell hit her, and she rush over to her bed to collapse on it nearly seconds before she blacked out.

Fainting, though, had worked itself into Noelle’s daily routine that week. The first swooning happened during lunch the Tuesday of that week when Noelle denied a salad’s entry into her stomach during dinner.

Of course, most of the girl population that week had gone on strike against most food in general, and some girls held Noelle in slight admiration for her determination to fit into her dress. She was not the only one to pass out during that week, but she certainly had earned a record amount of times.

She collapsed a second time during another training session, but when the week completed, she had lost count of the number times that she flickered out like a light.

Noelle awoke with a nauseating surge replenishing her fright as she slowly arose from her bed. The film of darkness clouded her eyes once more as she exhaustively tried to focus on a focal point on the wall to stay awake.

You haven’t fainted more than twice a day every day this week,
she reassured herself. Not that this seemed at all reassuring. A few months ago, Noelle would have worried about passing out all the time, but now it seemed old hat to sweat such a “small” thing as that.

One faint down, one to go.

But then again, the last thing she needed for that night was to pass out again right in the middle of the dance floor. Not to mention that simple tasks such as walking or standing up began to take a serious toll of energy on her body.

How much more damage would a dance do?

Noelle shoved the thoughts aside as she paced herself carefully sliding one foot after the other onto the floor carefully crawling toward the mirror, waddling like a plastic doll in the tight dress.

Her hands clutched her sides and she let out a hiss of pain when they made contact. Her skin hurt like she had completed five hours’ worth of ab work outs.

Hurt? Was this normal? It had never happened before.

Maybe it was a true sign that she was finally reaching her desired weight.

Then why didn’t she feel happy?

Noelle gave the dress a test twirl and felt woozy immediately after as a handful of stars drifted slowly down her vision like confetti on New Year’s Eve.

This was not good.

She glanced begrudgingly at her pillowcase as she waddled over toward it. She stuffed her hand in and pulled out a threateningly fatty granola bar. Her stomach seemed to overpower her mind as she ripped it open at an alarming rate of speed and began forcing it down at an even faster pace.

It tasted glorious, and she hated herself for thinking this. Why did her body have to become a slave to food?

But little did Noelle know that she was a slave to far more than that.

Eating was risky in the dress, but she couldn’t waste a perfectly good dance due to another blackout. After all, rumor had it that Aleesha had arrived the night before. Blade was awake when she entered the story.

If the people took a better liking to Aleesha than her, Noelle’s chances at Main Character dimmed as quickly as did the lights in Noelle’s eyes when she passed out.

She felt slightly relieved as the devastatingly strong pressure in her head loosened a bit. She slipped the mask out from under her pillow and carefully tied it around the circumference of her forehead.

Despite her delicacy with the object, she grit her teeth painfully against the oncoming headache that threatened to lurk for a very long time.

She inhaled deeply and faced the mirror once more with a new sense of confidence overwhelming her. She was determined to face the night despite the odds.

“Smile,” she commanded her reflection, “you’re as beautiful as ever, and everyone is going to love you.”

The reflection issued a sad grimace in reply as if to say, “You’ll never believe that lie for as long as you live, Noelle.”

#

A soft rap at the door startled Noelle as she realized that she must have passed out again.

Two down, none to go.

She peeled open the door, and Bri entered with a glowing smile that seemed to illuminate the entire room.

“You look stunning Noelle,” she beamed motioning to various aspects about the dress that she adored.

Noelle smiled slightly, but shot Bri an inquiring expression wondering why she came to visit her in the first place. Often times Extras stopped by to sneak into the better heated dormitories, but Bri seemed hardly the person to do such a thing.

“I’m here because I have a delivery for you,” Bri explained.

“From who?”

Bri shrugged, “I’m not sure, they didn’t sign. But it came in the mail.”

Noelle frowned, “That’s impossible. Lacey said that nothing can come over here from camp. They aren’t allowed to send letters, packages, or anything.”

Bri’s eyes brightened at the sight of the very small box she was holding, “Nothing’s impossible.”

Noelle had the feeling that the words were far more powerful than her understanding could grasp at that moment, but she decided not to ponder over it greatly.

Bri passed over the box as if it was a priceless treasure, and Noelle collapsed onto her bed in order to open it. The tape on the box looked a little strong to be tugging at it while standing up.

Much to Noelle’s surprise, the tape slid off like a peel to a banana, and she unraveled the mystery within.

When she peered inside, her excitement seemed to be replaced by a slight disappointment.

She pulled out a glass heart that seemed to be made out of an assortment of broken pieces of the same color. The color seemed vaguely familiar as if she had seen it off in a distant dream somewhere.

“It’s beautiful,” Noelle offered dully not exactly sure what to say. On the day of prom she had somewhat expected a corsage or maybe an accessory to go with her outfit, but the box didn’t have anything to do with the dance.

Bri nodded looking slightly disappointed.

“You don’t recognize it?” Bri asked hopefully.

Noelle shook her head concentrating harder, “Sorry,” she said finally, “it’s very pretty, but I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

Bri nodded, eyes glowing with understanding as if the heart had been gifted to herself at an earlier time.

She strode over to the door and cast a longing glance back at the heart as if it had befriended her at some point.

“Funny thing,” Bri mused, bobbing up and down a little with excitement, “I said the same thing when I saw it; anyway, have a nice dance, Noelle.”

Bri left the room without another word.

#

Noelle slid the glass heart in her pillow case. Something oddly pleasant and oddly guilty surrounded that heart. She somehow wanted the object, but wanted to run away from it as soon as possible as well.

Maybe it was because the sender remained anonymous. Of course, the Author had never signed his letters, but Noelle didn’t want this suspicion to be true. Not to mention, that when she abandoned him, he didn’t manage to keep up communications. Why would he suddenly message her now with a gift?

Maybe it was Blade’s doing…he seemed to be Noelle’s only motivation to not eat that week. After a few more nightly “unsainting sessions,” as Blade would call it, he began criticizing various aspects about her such as the fact that she was thin, fit, or beautiful enough for him, so she began spending hours in the gym as well as refraining food.

But all her work never seemed to please Blade. Or at least, he never admitted satisfaction or relented in his insults, and she began to wonder he ever would.

Of course, he had not seen her in her dress yet.

She palmed the red streak across her face that she couldn’t manage to cover up with enough makeup. Blade had hit hard the night before, but he said that he was “sorry”. Maybe the heart was an apology gift.

Tonight would be different, though, because tonight he would finally be satisfied. He wouldn’t have an excuse to hit anymore, because she would finally be beautiful, and he would finally feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

Noelle hoped.

She clicked down the hallway trying her best to stride confidentially in heels, secretly resenting the creator of a shoe so torturous and pointless in existence.

“You can’t even dance in heels,” she vented to her friend Mallei when she caught up to her in the hallway. “And the guys don’t like it because then their dates are taller than them.”

Mallei grunted unsympathetically as she struggled somewhat in her pink mermaid style dress.

“Met that Aleesha girl last night,” Mallei said suddenly.

“Wasn’t she awful?” Noelle asked somewhat impulsively.

Mallei shook her head quizzically, “No, and I think that she was nice. And Blade really liked her, a lot.”

If Noelle had water, she would have likely done a double take, but because her mouth was dry she simply emitted a noise sounding like a sick whale spraying water.

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Mallei smiled eager to share the latest bit of gossip. “Turns out that he had one of those, oh what do you call it? Ah yes – unsainting sessions with her. He enjoyed it so much that it looks like you might have a bit of competition, Noelle.”

Noelle’s knees began to wobble at the first word of this news and she muttered over and over again.

“Can’t be true. No – said that he loved me. He barely knows her.”

“You all right?” Mallei asked automatically, but all that Noelle could remember was a sharp intake of breath when her world faded to black for a third time that day.

#

Noelle awoke having no idea where she was. She bolted up suddenly which seemed to send an electric shock from her brain to her spine.

A warm hand grasped hers as she caught sight of Blade when everything came into focus.

“W-where am I-I?” she stuttered.

“Nurse’s office,” he replied casually, “you’ve been out cold for nearly three hours, sweetheart.”

Noelle’s heart hurdled into her stomach.

“Do you mean that I missed – ?”

“Yup, crowning ceremony, the dance, everything,” he answered sounding somewhat irritated. “Lucky for me, Aleesha didn’t have a date, so I guess that you didn’t mess up everything.”

The crowning? Noelle’s heart sank as she realized that Aleesha had already become Main Character of the story and she missed out on her last opportunity to become her dream.

But what struck Noelle more was how fondly Blade mentioned Aleesha. Was it true that he believed that Noelle messed everything up? Did he love Aleesha instead?

Noelle’s cheeks burned in shock as she recollected the whole reason why she passed out in the first place. Mallei’s words seemed to echo down Noelle’s hollow chest.

“Blade, you and Aleesha, did you…last night...?”

He nodded darkly and tears streamed down Noelle’s perfectly gaunt cheekbones.

“Why?” she managed as she chanted in her mind,
Stick and stones may break my bones, but this news will destroy me
.

“Because there are lots of fish in the sea, and I’m not staying with one girl my entire life, Noelle. You need to face the facts that there are plenty of girls out there, and you’re asking way too much from me.”

Indignation ignited Noelle’s bones as she faced him ready to unleash an oncoming fury. How could he say such a thing? After everything she did for him, and he still wasn’t satisfied.

Would he ever be?

“Too much?” she screamed. “Too much? Blade, I didn’t eat for you. I busted my butt in the gym and poured hours over makeup in order to please you, and now I’m asking too much? Forget it, we’re through –”

Before Noelle could finish, Blade struck her across the face with a painfully harsh blow. Of course, this wasn’t the first time that he had hit her, but it was definitely the hardest.

“We’re done when I say that we’re done,” he muttered murderously pinning her against the wall and encircling his palms around her neck.

“P-please,” she spluttered feeling the oxygen escape her lungs at an alarming rate. A film of darkness began to cover her eyes.

He pulled away and Noelle let out a few feeble coughs. When she finished, they sat in stunned silence, until Noelle mustered enough courage to pipe up.

“Why did you send me the heart?” she asked suddenly.

“The what?”

“The glass heart,” she began fearing each word as she spoke. “I thought that you – never mind.”

Another paralyzing silence.

“Blade,” Noelle began slowly, “I think that you and Aleesha would be far happier together. Please, for the sake of your happiness, we shouldn’t be together.”