Unnatural Acts (6 page)

“I don’t think she will,” Dino said. “She killed the first one in a
rage and the others to cover it up. She doesn’t have to cover up anything anymore.”

“Dino, you’re playing a very dangerous game here.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“How about this: the next time she contacts you, tell her not to get in touch again, because you’ll have to turn her in. That would put you pretty much in the clear.”

“That’s a good idea, Stone. When I get home tonight, I’ll tell her just that.”

“You mean she’s in your apartment right now?”

“I told her I was going out with you, so she ordered a pizza.”

“Dino, promise me you’ll drop-kick her right into the street, first thing in the morning.”

“I will,” Dino said. “If I can.”

HERBIE WAS
in his cubicle at Woodman & Weld at seven-thirty the following morning. He emptied his briefcase of the files he had worked on at home until midnight the night before, then walked up one level to one of the two partners’ floors, to Karla Martin’s office. Karla had a well-deserved reputation as the toughest partner in the firm where the treatment of associates was concerned.

With the knowledge of Mike Freeman’s offer bolstering his courage, Herbie walked into Karla’s office and dumped the stack of files on her desk. “Good morning, and there you are,” he said. “There’s a memo in each file listing the relevant precedents and case law. That makes you and me entirely up to date.” He walked over to a table in a corner where a coffee thermos sat and poured himself a cup, then sat down opposite her.

Karla stared at him, unblinking, a glare that any associate would have recognized in a flash as preceding heavy weather. “I don’t believe I invited you in for coffee,” she said acidly.

“That’s just one of the many mistakes you make with associates, Karla,” Herbie replied, “especially with me.”

“
What?
”

“I’ve spent two years shoring up your reputation in this firm, and I’m all done now. I’d like you to recommend me to Bill Eggers for senior associate.” This was a step toward partnership, and the appointments were handed out stingily. In fact, he thought, no one could remember Karla ever recommending anyone for senior associate.

“You must be out of your mind, Herbert,” she spat, “coming in here and making yourself at home and thinking I would promote you.”

“You can’t promote me, Karla, I know that, but if you sign this letter, it might help a bit with Eggers.” He removed a letter, neatly typed on the firm’s letterhead, and slid it across the desk.

Karla picked up the letter and read it.

“I don’t think the praise is overdone, do you? I tried to frame it in your own inimitable, grudging style.”

Karla was trembling with anger. “You little twerp,” she said through clenched teeth. “You get out of my office!”

“Just as soon as you sign the letter,” Herbie said. “Oh, and a phone call to Bill would be nice, too.”

“Why do you think I would ever do such a thing?” she demanded.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to start making people around here aware of what a lousy lawyer you are.”

“
What?
”

“You’ve been kept afloat for years in this firm by smart associates who’ve done your work for you and kept their mouths shut
about it, but I’m not going to keep my mouth shut. I’m in a very strong position in this firm. I have an excellent reputation here, and you don’t.” Herbie saw a flicker of something in her face that might have been fear. He pounced.

“You know that as well as I do, don’t you? You know you couldn’t count on the support of a single associate here and not more than one or two partners. You’ve lost two accounts in the past year, and you haven’t brought anything in. You’ve been on the edge at Woodman and Weld, and all you need is a nudge to tumble into the abyss of unemployment.”

“Then why would you want the support in the firm of someone as weak as you think I am?” She smirked, as if she had won the argument.

“Because you never praise anyone for anything, Karla, and the shock just might get Bill Eggers’s attention. That’s the only reason, believe me.” He stood up. “I’ll be going now, and I’d like to take the signed letter with me.” He held out a hand.

She tried the glare again, saw that it wasn’t working, and signed the letter. “Now you can go to hell,” she said.

Herbie put the letter into his pocket. “You first,” he said, then walked out. He was quivering with excitement and exultation. He had nailed Karla Martin, and he had it in writing. She could never retract that letter.

Herbie walked up another flight of stairs and down the wide hallway that housed the senior partners, then walked into Eggers’s secretary’s office. “Good morning, Jane,” he said, giving her his best smile. He had cultivated her carefully since the day he arrived at Woodman & Weld.

“Good morning, Herbert,” she said.

“Do you think he might have a moment?”

She picked up the phone and buzzed Eggers. “Herbert Fisher would like a moment.” She hung up. “He’ll see you.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Herbie walked into the big corner office. “Good morning, Bill,” he said.

“Herbert,” Eggers said. “I got your message about leaving early yesterday.”

“Yes, I had a lot of work to get done for Karla, and I didn’t want her interrupting me, as she is prone to do, so I took it home and finished it there.”

“I see.”

“It was the last work I’ll be doing for Karla,” Herbie said, matter-of-factly.

Eggers looked surprised. “Are you resigning from the firm, Herbert?”

“No, Bill, just from Karla. I won’t work for her another minute.”

A flicker of a smile crossed Eggers’s face. “And how did Karla take that?” he asked.

“Oh, we parted on good terms,” Herbie said, handing Eggers the letter.

Eggers picked up the letter and read it, looking more and more amazed. “Herbert, did you forge this?”

“Certainly not, Bill.”

Eggers pressed the speaker button on his phone and dialed an extension.

“Karla Martin.”

“Karla, it’s Bill.”

“Good morning, Bill.”

“Good morning. I’ve just read the letter you sent me, recommending Herbert Fisher for senior associate. Do you stand by it?”

There was the briefest of pauses, causing Herbie to begin to
sweat, then she said, sweetly for Karla, “Of course, Bill. He’s a very bright young man, and he’s done fine work for me.”

“Thank you, Karla,” Eggers said, then hung up. His gaze had never left Herbie’s face. “I’m having a little trouble digesting this,” he said. “Do you have photographs of Karla in bed with a donkey?”

Herbie laughed heartily. “Karla? I can’t imagine her in bed with man or beast.”

“Neither can I,” Eggers said, “but before you walked in here I could never have imagined her writing this letter, either.”

“Hard shell, soft heart,” Herbie said, shrugging. “Who knew?”

“Certainly not I,” Eggers said. “So you’re making a formal request to be promoted to senior associate?”

“Karla was kind enough to do that for me,” Herbie said.

“But you do want it, don’t you?”

“Of course, Bill. I think I could be more useful to the firm in that position. And not having to slave away for Karla or another partner would give me time to make some rain around here.”

“You think you could do that?” Eggers asked.

“Let’s find out. My guess is that Marshall Brennan might be disposed to giving us some new business, and I’d like to handle it.”

“What else do you want, Herbert?”

“A substantial raise, a real office with a window, my own secretary, and a full-time associate to do everything I don’t want to do myself.”

“Is that all?”

“For the time being.”

“And what will you do if I don’t give it to you?”

Herbie took a deep breath and prepared to threaten to resign, but he stopped himself. “I think this is in the firm’s best interests, Bill, and you always do what’s in the firm’s best interests.”

“Nobody’s ever made senior associate around here in under three years,” Eggers said.

Herbie observed that Eggers had not fired him yet, and he pressed his luck just a bit. “I’ve heard that,” he said, “and I think this might give a lot of the associates new hope—even make them work harder.”

Eggers pressed a button on his phone.

“Yes, Mr. Eggers?” Jane asked.

“Come in, please.”

“We moved George Howard to a bigger office yesterday, didn’t we?”

“Yessir.”

“Give his old office to Herbert, and find him a decent secretary. Herbert is our newest senior associate. Send out the memo, and send a release to the papers and the law journals.”

“Yessir.”

“And who is our newest, greenest, most forlorn associate?”

Jane squinted at the ceiling for a moment. “That would be young Bobby Bentley,” she said.

“Tell him he works for Herbert now.”

“Yessir. Anything else?”

“Yes, type up a memo to payroll for my signature, giving Herbert a fifteen percent raise.”

Herbie made a loud coughing noise.

“All right, twenty-five percent.”

“Yessir!” Jane sped back to her desk.

Eggers looked at Herbie. “Why are you still here?”

“Thank you, Bill.” Herbie tried to leave without appearing to hurry.

DINO WOKE
from a sound sleep with the sudden knowledge that his penis was in someone’s mouth, and that long, red hair was tickling his belly. He stuffed an extra pillow behind his head and watched, with growing excitement that ended in a veritable explosion. “Oh, God,” he moaned.

Shelley Bach moved up the bed to share his pillow. “Well,” she said, “I do know what you like.”

“I can’t deny that,” Dino said. He took a deep breath and said what he had to say. “Shelley, you can’t be here—it’s too dangerous for both of us.”

“You’re afraid that you’ll lose your job if you’re found consorting with a fugitive, right?”

“More than that, Shelley, I’m afraid that you’ll be in prison soon and that I will be, too. Can’t you understand that that is too high a price to pay for a good blow job?”

“A sublime blow job,” she pointed out.

“I agree, but they won’t put us in the same cell, and I can’t afford the tab when the FBI finally closes in on you.”

“They won’t,” she said. “Would you like to know the steps I’ve taken to prevent that from ever happening?”

“Good God, no! I don’t want to know a thing!”

“Listen, Dino, if it’s war between the FBI and me, it’s a fair fight.”

“I don’t doubt that for a minute, but we have to end this and right now.”

“Oh, Dino,” she breathed, “you wouldn’t want to disappoint me, would you? You know how I behave when people disappoint me.”

Dino got out of bed and reached for a robe. “Shelley, I wish you luck, I really do, but you have to go now.”

“You want me to walk brazenly through your lobby and past the doorman?”

“You can take the elevator to the basement, turn right at the laundry room, and go out the service entrance.”

“Slink out, you mean, as if I’m ashamed of being with you?”

“That’s your call, Shelley, but you have to go.”

“But no one knows about us, Dino.”

“Stone Barrington knows,” Dino replied, regretting immediately having said so.

Shelley sat up in bed, exposing a magnificent pair of breasts. “You told Stone?”

Dino fumbled for a way out. “He saw you come into the building,” he said, “and he recognized you. I didn’t have to tell him.”

“Well now,” she said, looking thoughtful. “I’m going to have to see that he doesn’t drop any hints to law enforcement.”

“Shelley, don’t talk like that. Stone would never do that—he would want to protect me.”

“I suppose,” she said, getting out of bed and taking some underwear from her suitcase.

“I’ve got to get to the precinct, so I’m going to shave and shower,” Dino said, “and I’d appreciate it very much if you would be gone when I’m done. I wish you well, Shelley.”

“Yeah, sure,” Shelley said, turning her back and stepping into a pair of panties.

Dino went into his bathroom, showered and shaved, then he walked back into his bedroom, looking carefully around. Shelley’s suitcase was gone, and his bed was neatly made. He had to search the rest of the apartment before he could feel relieved.

DINO ARRIVED
at the precinct and went to his office. A pile of mail on his desk greeted him.

“Morning, Lieutenant,” a voice said, and he looked up to find his newest detective, an attractive brunette named Viv DeCarlo, standing in his doorway.

“Morning, DeCarlo,” he said brusquely. “What do you need?”

“The DNA came back in the Bronson murder,” she said. “It’s a match for the boyfriend. I need an APB.”

“Have you been to his house?” Dino asked. “It would save a lot of departmental bother if you could make the collar without the trouble of an APB.”

“No, sir, I haven’t,” she said. “I’ll need an arrest warrant and a SWAT team for that. Would that be less trouble than an APB?”

“It’s a toss-up,” Dino said, “but call the DA and get the warrant. Type up an authorization for the SWAT team, and I’ll sign it.” Dino
opened the top piece of mail on his desk, a large brown envelope with an FBI return address. He shook it, and a wanted poster featuring a becoming photograph of Shelley Bach spilled onto his desktop.

“Hey,” DeCarlo said, “that’s the chick from D.C. who offed all those people, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Dino said. “Is there anything else preventing you from getting back to work?”

“No, no, Lieutenant. Thanks for your help.”

Dino sat down and looked at the poster, then he called Stone.

“YOU’RE UP
early today,” Stone said.

“I’m up early every day, unlike you.”

“I don’t have to get in early to make the morning shift think I work for a living,” Stone replied.

“Well, there is that,” Dino said. “Listen, pal, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”