Unobtainable (4 page)

“Here it is,” I pointed to the screen. “Major fuck up, looks like I issued it for the wrong year, you should expect it in your holiday pay package June of 2017, sound good to you?”

We laughed at my screw up.

“I’ll plan my vacation now, I can probably get a super deal by booking early,” Harley laughed, and I felt a tingle run along my spine as our eyes met, his beautiful face was only a few inches from mine.

Another visual of his lips parting and my tongue colliding with his, had me suddenly hopping to my feet, shocking us both by the speed that propelled me.

“Printer paper,” I blurted. “I need to put paper in the printer. I’ll give you a copy of the revision and issue you a new cheque by the end of the day.”

“Sounds great,” Harley said, moving his chair back to where he found it. “I’ll meet you back here in twenty minutes for lunch?”

“Lunch, uh, yeah sure, uh twenty,” I stammered.

Where else would we go but
Chances?
It was the local hangout, the bar of choice and it just so happened that it was only a few blocks from the office. It reminded me of
Cheers
the TV show, where everyone knew your name.
Chances
was like that. You walked in and at least one person in the place greeted you by name and that one person just so happened to be named Sam. He was the owner/bartender and seemed to always be there, day or night. I often wondered if he had a home or if this was it.

“Dyson old man. Harley, you guys go ahead and grab a seat I’ll be right with you,” Sam hollered, as he topped off a beer mug and released the beer taps handle.

“Let’s grab that booth over there,” Harley said, pointing to the booth in the back corner.

Of course my mind was playing on the dirty side, concocting the notion of Harley touching me under the table, his hands exploring while I fought to keep our behavior discrete. Then I snapped back to reality as I sat opposite Harley who handed me a menu with a sparkling sweet smile. Even in the dim light the blue of his eyes radiated sex-appeal, like I said before, the man was a god!

“I heard about the Will,” Harley said, out of nowhere, surprising me.

“Um, yeah, well I guess it’s the talk of the office,” I laughed, trying to disguise my bitterness. “My demise seems to be the theme of the day. At least when they’re talking about me they’re leaving someone else alone.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what people are saying,” he said. “I just heard you got the shaft, you know, the short end of the stick.”

“Yeah, you could say that I got it shoved completely up my ass,” I laughed. “And it wasn’t exactly the short end either.” I wiggled my brow.

“Is it true you’re being replaced?” Harley asked.

If I didn’t know better I would think I heard disappointment in his voice, but who was I kidding? That was a new one, I hadn’t heard of my being replaced until now. I was like anyone else I suppose, expendable, and he had to have known this. He was just trying to be sympathetic.

I shrugged, faking my indifference, moving my attention to the menu as I spoke, “I was told I could keep my job. At least I’ll have a wage coming in. I suppose that doesn’t make me utterly fucked over, even if it feels that way.”

“I don’t understand, you’re family,” Harley said, with a look of disgust on his beautiful face.

I couldn’t help but laugh because it was my own fault. If I’d kept my mouth shut, married Rebecca and waited six or seven months down the road to reveal who I really was, I wouldn’t have been having this conversation. But then again, fate had a way of bringing people together, maybe fate had plans for me and Harley. I snorted the idea away quickly. There was no sense getting my hopes up.

“Being family doesn’t guarantee you’re going to be accepted,” I said, sadly.

“Accepted? What did you do that was so bad that you would be seeking their acceptance?” he asked, as Sam came over to take our orders.

I ordered a cheeseburger and fries, not my usual healthy choice. Harley ordered the pub style fish and chips and we each ordered whiskey shots with a beer chaser. We were walking after all and I wasn’t much concerned about getting shitfaced. What were they going to do, fire me?

“I walked out of the closet on my wedding day,” I said, watching Harley’s brows magically knit together. “I’m gay.”

“Yeah…and?” Harley said, as if I had just told him the sky was blue and what goes up comes down, that there were four season and not just the singers. He didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned by my confession. He sat watching me, his expression never deviating from his imperturbable mask.

“You obviously have not heard what was contained in my grandfather’s Will, have you?”

“Nope,” he said. “Just that you got the shaft, it wasn’t any of my business, when the subject came up I made myself scarce. All I know from office rumors is that you lost your inheritance.”

“You don’t want me to explain?”

“Maybe you should, but don’t feel pressured, it really is none of my business,” Harley assured me.

Not only was he beautiful to look at, he was sweet as molasses, caring in his own nonchalant way.

Sam came with our drinks. I watched as Harley shot back his whiskey and licked his tongue across his upper lip. My eyes followed the moist trail it left and then I caught his gaze, his eyes were fixed on me. I slugged back my shot and sucked in a deep breath as it burned its way past my tonsils and settled into my gut with rising welcome warmth. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t very good at drinking, but Harley smiled, fuck he was killing me, and the thought suddenly vanished into thin air.

I opened up like a cheap novel and told him everything, all the sordid details as he nodded his head and mulled the whole thing over in his mind for a few minutes.

“I can’t believe your brothers would allow this to happen,” he said. “I never took them for selfish assholes.”

“They’re not assholes,” I said, as Sam set our meals on the table.

“Another round?” Sam asked, lifting our shot glasses and replacing them with a stack of red checkered napkins.

“Please,” I said, before Harley had time to answer for himself.

Harley and I collectively reached to the end of the table for the salt shaker and I watched as it toppled over, just my luck.  He grabbed the shaker and shook it over his shoulder then sprinkled a small amount on his fish before he handed it to me. Our index fingers touched and a spark ignited, sending an electric shiver up my spine. I wondered if he felt the same thing, or if it was just another wanton thought.

“Will or no Will, if I had a brother in the same situation I’d say fuck it and make sure he was treated the same as me, even if I had to take it out of my own pocket to make it happen. I wouldn’t care if he was a fucking alien from another planet, he’s my brother. That makes EJ, Toby and Clay total assholes in my book.”

How could the man be so beautiful, sexy as hell and morally perfect? If I said it once I was sure I’d be saying it a million times more, the man was a god!

“It’s the law, they’re just…” I bit the side of my cheek and tried to come up with some form of defense, but I couldn’t, “…assholes.”

Harley laughed and my boner shot to attention, it was pressing painfully against the zipper of my pants as I took a huge bite of my burger and chewed, willing it to deflate.

“What are you going to do now? Do you have a plan of action?”

“First, I need to find someone who is willing to get married right away,” I said, after swallowing. “Know anyone?”

“No,” he said, in a rush. “But if I think of anyone, I’ll let you know.”

“Great,” I said, leaving out the enthusiasm. “Maybe I’ll take out a personal ad in the local paper,
pitiful loser desperately seeking a groom.
”

Harley laughed as I studied his gleaming white smile. I was almost certain Harley was gay, the way the hairs at the back of my neck stood up and took notice when he was near told me he had to be. The idea of being married to a babe like Harley made me prickle all over. I imagined lying next to him when we woke each morning. It would be a temporary situation, what was the harm in asking? Who was I kidding? Did I honestly think he was going to say he would flip his world around and marry me? But then again, I hadn’t asked, had I?

“I was thinking,” I started, and then noticed how uncomfortable Harley suddenly became as he played with his fork cutting a fry into tiny little pieces, shuffling them around in a circle on his plate. “Are you okay? You look strange.”

“Thank you very much,” he tittered, as he put his fork down, pushing his unfinished meal off to the side.

Asking Harley now would prove catastrophic, a change of subject was well in order and fast before the man ran off out the back door screaming to be saved.

“The party Friday,” I blurted, trying to disguise my original question. “Is it right after work?”

“Yeah,” he said, as I watched a sense of relief wash over him. “Since its Friday night and people might have other plans, I figured the earlier the better.”

“You got big Friday night plans?” I asked, hoping he would tell me yes, that he wanted to spend his Friday night with me, just the two of us in a dark corner somewhere getting it on.

“Had,” he said. “I was supposed to meet friends at nine, but it’s still up in the air. You?”

I shook my head and finished my beer. “We better get back, or I’ll be spending the rest of tonight at work trying to catch up so I can make it on Friday.”

Harley laughed, tossing a few bills onto the table. “That should take care of it.”

I felt Harley’s large hand palm my shoulder as we were walking out the door, the heat scorching into my flesh through my jacket. I turned and our chests crashed together. I breathed in his scent and swallowed back the urge to close my mouth over his.

“I really wish I could help you out,” Harley said, with a sweet shining smile.

What was he saying? Was this his way of confessing his sexuality, was he just being sweet again? Or was I reading far too much into his words?

“No worries.”

~Harley~

Beads of sweat trickled over my temples as I sat trying to catch my breath. I’d been screaming out loud this time, I could tell by the burning sensation in the back of my throat. The bed sheets were tangled around my legs, half stripped from the bed and one pillow lay on the floor across the room. It had been one hell of a nightmare tonight.

I turned on the bedside light even though the bathroom light was on, just as I had left it every night for the past five years. It didn’t stop the nightmares from happening though, nothing ever would, but it gave me a daft sense of security.

My sleep for the night was officially over, there was no attempting sleep once the nightmares started. I looked at the blue glowing numbers on my alarm clock. It was three fifty seven and I had managed to get an incredible five hours in. That was a new record.

I wiped the perspiration from my forehead with the bed sheet and rolled out of bed. I threw on a pair of shorts and an old torn t-shirt, heading downstairs to my home gym, leaving a trail of lights in my wake. I drank half a bottle of water before jumping onto my treadmill, running at a steady beat for an hour and a half.

My every thought kept circling back to Dyson and his predicament. I felt for the guy, he must have been going through utter hell. It amazed me that his brothers, his own flesh and blood, could treat him so callously. There was only me and my little sister and I would run to the ends of the earth if she asked me to. She was my world, my everything, the one person that helped me survive. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

I knew Dyson was gay, I had since the first day I met him and he bled all over my sixty dollar designer tie. He was adorable, with his curly hair and puppy dog eyes. I was very pleased to meet him. His brother EJ rushed me off all too soon that day. I could have listened to Dyson’s deep baritone voice until the sun set, and then the things I could have done to him. No man had roused me like that in a long, long time.

I’m gay, but unfortunately only a handful of people know. It has been a secret kept hidden behind a heavy curtain since my coming out, you see my mother wanted it kept that way. Her political career depended on me staying a well-kept secret. Martha Helmsley-Cooper my mother, and I use that term loosely, believed that she would be shunned if people knew she had a gay son. Therefore most people around me believe I am the rich bachelor dating every woman that sniffs around, I’m well known as the playboy who will never settle down.

Back to thoughts of Dyson, I could really go for him. Dyson’s the sweet nerdy type, sexy as fuck, hidden behind a pair of heavy rimmed glasses with his nose stuck in his computer screen. He had magical fingers that moved at the speed of sound on a calculator, I bet they could do a number on a man in more ways than one. Plus, he was the smartest guy I knew.

The only problem? Dyson didn’t know I was alive.

All these years of working at the same company, spending time together with his brothers and I was just noticing now that he wasn’t attached, I may have not wanted a relationship with him, but I most definitely wanted to be close friends.

Maybe it was a good thing he didn’t know I was alive, because as much as I’d love to get Dyson into my bed, I’d only end up hurting him. The amount of baggage I had, made it impossible to get close to anyone. I was and would forever be an unsalvageable mess, the kind you avoided at all cost.
Run screaming now and save yourself,
I laughed, as I stepped off the treadmill and headed for my weights.

Sometimes the way Dyson looked at me, the smile that caught my eye on more than one occasion had me wondering if he knew I was gay. Sometimes I had to wonder if he
was
checking me out, the idea was crazy, although I watched him often when he wasn’t aware. He had this habit of tongue typing, his concentration was so intense his tongue would peek out from between his lips and my loins would set on fire. Many times I had to ignore that he was near in fear of springing an embarrassing boner, which I wouldn’t be able to explain.

Sitting at his desk the other day, while he corrected my pay problem had been fanfuckingtastic. I sat as close to him as humanly possible without climbing onto his lap and grinding into him. I recognized the scent of his cologne, not too many men could wear sweet scents, but infused with Dyson’s natural aroma it was seducing. I wanted to lick his neck, trail my tongue along his jawline and across his gorgeous pouty lips, weave my fingers into his hair and get lost in his dark, silky mane. As thoughts of tying him to my headboard and kissing every inch of him distracted me, a very familiar tent started to form in my pants and I knew I had to get away from him for a while. Him jumping to his feet, making some feeble excuse about printer paper, gave me a chance to clear my head before we went for lunch.

Thinking back now, I wondered if I gave him the wrong idea at lunch. I think he was going to ask me if I’d marry him, for the sake of the Will of course. No way was I going there, not in this life time. No fucking way. We were business associates and friends, we had been for the last four years. Bedding him and marrying him were two entirely different things.  Though I thrilled at the idea of being buried balls deep inside him, the idea of getting married to anyone terrified me. It was like saying I was giving up who I was. That would never happen again, I would never allow it.

Clearing my head of thoughts of Dyson, I managed to finish my work out and eat a huge bowl of Lucky Charms cereal before I climbed into the shower, ready to get my day started. I liked to get to the office early, outline my game plan for the day and kickback with a freshly brewed coffee in the lunchroom. I liked to wait for Dyson to stroll into the office late, as always. It was like my sickest obsession of the day, I had many where Dyson was concerned.

I had the perfect vantage point from my office, I could see not only the reception desk but Dyson’s office door where he stood talking with Clair most mornings before disappearing inside for the remainder of the day. The best part of today was going to be once it ended and the party began at
Chances
.

Instead of going directly to the reception desk for his morning gab with Clair, Dyson walked into the lunchroom and filled his mug with coffee, where I just so happened to be sitting with mine.

“Morning,” I said, watching as he turned with a smile.

“Morning,” he said, surprise written all over him.

That was all I got before he dashed off to his office and Clair followed close behind. Friday started off with a fizzle, much less exciting than I had hoped for. But I had the party to look forward to.

Passing Dyson’s office on the way to the Friday afternoon wrap-up meeting, I was tempted to stop and say hello. I didn’t even know why, so instead I dashed past.

As usual the meeting seemed never-ending. I had already thrown in my next week’s agenda, staking the board room time slots as mine for sales meetings with new clients. Sales always took priority. I could care less about the rest of the meeting, I chose to play Sudoku on my phone, all I wanted was for five o’clock to hurry up and get here.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Clayton whisper something into EJ’s ear. I watched as he nodded his head in agreement. The Brothers Grimm were scheming, I sat back, getting comfortable for the big reveal.

“I should mention before we wrap up for the day that Dyson has yet to marry, and I can’t see it happening anytime soon. So that you are aware, his partnership will dissolve as of the eighteenth. All business dealings will fall to myself, Clayton and Tobias. We have jointly agreed not to slot in a new partner. Dyson will be staying on as head of accounting but in a diminished capacity,” EJ told the group.

As usual the scowl on EJ’s face never disappeared, he didn’t look to be the least bit bothered that his little brother was being shoved out, nor did Clayton and Tobias for that matter. Resting my chin on my steepled fingers, I allowed my brow to knit together but held my tongue.

“Hmm…” I grumbled.

“Problem Harley?”

“Nope.”

“We don’t want things to be awkward, let’s try to remember that our grandfather wanted it this way. None of this is of our doing, we would rather keep things as is but it’s out of our hands.”

I cleared my throat and watched as the boardroom occupants turned to me. I wasn’t about to say anything, it wasn’t any of my business. I simply wasn’t pleased with the way these assholes were conducting matters in Dyson’s absence.

My pen was of more interest to me than listening to the Brothers Grimm trying to make it sound as if they were saints for allowing their misfit little brother to stay on with the company. It irritated me the way the three of them eyed each other before speaking. It was almost like watching a trader’s takedown. As I twirled my pen between my fingers, I waited to hear what Tobias had to say, noticing I wasn’t the only one as all eyes seemed to shift to him.

“What?” he said. “I have nothing to add, Dyson has until the seventeenth and it’s not the seventeenth yet. Not that some losers going to come along desperate enough to marry him on time. I don’t give a shit either way.”

“Nice,” I said, under my breath.

EJ eyed me before talking, “If there’s nothing more?”

Staring him down for several moments, the room sat silent until EJ rose to his feet. “Have a great weekend gentlemen, see you all Monday morning.”

I sat and waited until the boardroom was empty before I walked over to the large pane window and looked out at the city. The sky was an unattractive gray, there were no individual clouds giving away a hint of rain, just still, calm gray. My mind wandered to thoughts of Dyson and what he might be doing at this moment in time.

“Something on your mind, Harley?” Clayton asked.

I considered Clayton a good friend. Of the Brothers Grimm he was the one I spent the most time with since we were in the sales department and worked closely together. I wouldn’t say I confided in him, but he knew things about me that others did not. I wasn’t sure if he knew my sexual status, I was almost certain he did not. And there was no way he had a clue I had a thing for his little brother.

“Nope.”

“I need your opinion,” he said. “I want to take another crack at the Evan’s contract, I’ve made quite a few revisions and I’m confident they are going to like the changes. Would you look it over for me?”

“Sure thing, leave it on my desk and I’ll get to it Monday first thing,” I told him while remaining fixed to the view of the busy street outside. “Tell me something?”

“I knew you couldn’t
not
say anything,” Clayton laughed, but I wasn’t amused.

“If you were in Dyson’s shoes, how would you be feeling right now?”

“I don’t do feelings,” Clayton snapped.

Turning and walking past him on the way to the door, I kept my emotions in check and my eyes straight ahead as I spoke, “Maybe if you did…”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Clayton asked, following closely, as I headed back to my office.

“He’s your brother, but I guess that doesn’t mean anything,” I stopped at my office door, bracing my hand across the threshold, a clear indication he was not invited in. “Not my business, sorry I said anything.”

“No, it’s not,” Clayton snarled.

“See you Monday,” I said, stepping into my office and closing the door in his face.

I should have slammed the fucking thing in his face, but too much drama would have been a fatal mistake, giving away more than I was willing to have anyone know.

The time on my desk clock said four forty, twenty minutes to kill before the freedom of the weekend. I was looking forward to forty-eight hours of R&R and the party at
Chances
. With a cunning grin, I officially declared it Chivas night with my sights set on taking only one prisoner, and that prisoner was going to be Dyson Michaels.