Unplugged (22 page)

“You're going to become voyeurs,” I said, realization dawning.

Rain smiled, but the smile had a bitter quality to it. “Yes. For once, I'll get to be the one watching, not the one being watched.”

It didn't seem to matter what world I was in. Here, like in the App World, we wanted to pry into the lives of others, whether they wanted us to or not. But the thought of having to do it through a screen you held in your hand instead of an App downloaded into the brain was difficult to get my mind around. “It doesn't seem fair to watch people when they're unaware and vulnerable. I certainly didn't like finding out that I'd been . . . watched. On exhibit for everyone.”

“I understand,” Rain said quietly. “But in this world, it's the best weapon we have.”

I considered this, and set the spying device back on the table. I suddenly didn't want to be touching it, as though it might turn on and broadcast my face to people I didn't know in a faraway place. Then something else occurred to me. “Can you access the App World with any of these?”

Rain's eyebrows arched. “That's the hope. But at the very least, they'll give us a window to the Real World like never before. And to one another, too.”

Rain sounded excited, but I wasn't sure I liked what he described.

He headed toward the vault-like door. As I followed him out of the room, my mind turned over all of this new information. “How did you do it those years in the App World?” I asked him now. “How did you handle the way people always recognized you? How you couldn't go anywhere without them watching you?” The memory of how everyone whispered as I passed them in the gym entered my mind. “I think you must be the expert on this subject. Every second of your life was recorded in the App World. Every turn of your head was discussed and analyzed by your adoring fans.”

Rain led us toward the front of Briarwood. “I built walls.” He turned a corner and our surroundings shifted. It looked as though we'd entered the wing of a new house. “I lived as though I was made of armor. I put on masks.” We passed a darkened glass wall, our footsteps hollow against the wooden floor. “I became a selfish, uncaring asshole who never let anyone in. At the time I thought it was the only way I could keep something back for myself. Then one day I woke up and wasn't sure if there was anything left of me to protect.” He eyed me. “When I came to the Real World, bit by bit I discovered that the person I
once believed I was still existed. I just needed some time away from all the chaos to rediscover him.” Rain stopped before another door, this one made of carved wood, next to a window that looked out onto the ocean. “I'm never letting myself get eaten alive again, not by voyeurs, not by technology,” he went on. “If we're not careful, technology starts to use us instead of the reverse.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” I asked, struggling to read him.

Rain traced his fingers along the sculpted wood. Then he dropped his hand to his side and looked at me. “There's a gathering on the beach this evening at sunset. You can rest here. There are some clothes for you to change into if you'd like.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

There was a fierceness to Rain's expression. “Skye, I'm never going back to the App World. Not for all the money and power in the universe. Not for anything,” he went on, already turning to walk away. “I'll see you at the party tonight,” he called back, and then disappeared down the hall.

THE ROOM I
entered seemed to belong to another era, to someone who must have lived in the original house before it was expanded and turned into a place to prepare for war and revolution. I wondered how long ago Zeera had raided it for weapons and how many she'd found in here. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined one wall and looked out over the ocean. In the middle of them was a glass door. I opened it and saw that there were stairs leading down into the sand, a path cutting through the dunes to the beach. The salty air swept over me and I inhaled it greedily. I couldn't ever get enough of the sea.

I let myself take in the sight of the ocean another moment before stepping back inside the room. At the
center of it was a large bed topped with pillows and clean white sheets. A closet was set into one of the other walls, with a tall chest of drawers next to it. I slid the bottom drawer open. It was full of socks. Black, white, green, purple, long, short. For some reason this made me laugh. To have this many pairs of socks seemed extravagant. I went through each of the other drawers. When I came to the fourth drawer, my eyes widened. I pulled out the garment on top and let it dangle from my fingers. Parts of it were a shiny blue, so soft and smooth it was like water spun into fabric, and the rest was lace.

Lingerie.

I peered into the last drawer, the one at the top, and it too was full of dainty, tiny things, but this time they were of a different sort of material, the kind good for swimming. Bathing suits of different colors and patterns. They were nearly all strings. If I dove under a wave in one, I would likely emerge having lost the top or bottom or both.

I felt my cheeks redden. Rain told me I could change if I wanted. Had he known what kind of clothes were in here? Did a part of him hope I would show up on the beach later wearing this tiny bikini? Or that underneath my clothes I would wear lingerie?

No. That's something Lacy would do.

Besides, why would Rain care?

I dug farther down into the drawer.

At the very bottom was a simple black tank bathing
suit. I set it aside on a chair. A yawn pushed my mouth wide and made the muscles in my arms and legs want to stretch. I still couldn't get used to the body's impulse for this. The big white bed called to me, so I crawled on top of it to rest. I wanted relief from the day, to forget about everything, even if only for an hour.

But in my sleep I dreamed of being in a room surrounded by cameras, and that beyond them were people sitting before screens, watching every move I made, assessing my body, my value, my appearance. They could see me, of course, but I couldn't—would never—see them.

When I arrived at the beach later that evening it was already teeming with people. They dotted the sand in groups as the sun went down, chatting and laughing. Some held bottles in their hands and others had small, opaque cups. A number of seventeens were kicking a ball around, running and shouting to one another as they tried to get it past a boy guarding a makeshift goal. A large bonfire burned orange and red, the sound of wood crackling interrupting the crash of the waves.

I wanted to freeze the moment.

I was in the Real World at a beach party, the ocean a few steps away, the horizon on fire with pink, a surreal blue starting to ink its way across the sky. Beyond the ocean the tiny lights of New Port City glinted and winked in the distance. The only thing missing from this moment
was sharing it with my sister and mother. I bet they would love this. They used to love the beach as much as I did when I was small.

Soon
, I thought. Soon I would find them.

I made my way toward the crowd, surprised to see how many girls were wearing exactly the sort of bathing suit I was too modest to try on. They were so unselfconscious. Even though I'd worn a tank top and jeans over the black bathing suit, everyone turned to stare.

Tentatively, I held up my hand in a wave. Then I smiled.

It was a false smile, at least at first, but then one by one, the people staring at me started to smile back, nodding their heads and returning to their conversations and their games.

I began to relax.

Parvda was heading my way, Adam towering behind her. Her long hair was pulled high into a ponytail, emphasizing her big gorgeous eyes. She, too, was nearly naked and completely unworried about it. I wondered what was passing through Adam's mind as he took in his girlfriend like this, if he preferred her this way as opposed to the virtual Parvda he'd known in the App World. Real bodies were so different, more vulnerable, but also, more sensual and beautiful.

I was suddenly curious if they'd had sex.

Mrs. Worthington had taught us that real sex was
disgusting and caused disease. She would be horrified at the mere idea. The thought of her being horrified put a grin on my face.

“Hi, Skylar,” Parvda said. “Glad you could make it.”

I was grateful to no longer be standing alone. “Me too, I think.”

Adam planted himself next to me. “Hello, o famous one.”

A laugh bubbled out of me, a relief after so much tension. “Shut up,” I said, and punched him in the arm.

“Ow.” He rubbed the place where my fist met muscle.

Parvda joined in our laughter. “Serves you right.”

Adam put his arm around me. “I'm enjoying the fame by association, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn't, but thanks for letting me know.” It was a little strange interacting with the real Adam after only knowing the virtual one. “Is it me, or is it weird how we all look so similar to our virtual selves, but so different, too?”

Adam grinned. “I think it's just you.”

I eyed him. “You are way more relaxed here than you were in the App World.” I turned to Parvda. “He was an angry virtual man.”

Two spots of red dotted her cheeks. “He's lost without me.”

He shrugged. “It's true.”

Parvda smiled up at him. “I'm going to get us some
drinks and give you guys a chance to catch up.”

Adam's eyes never left Parvda as she walked away. I saw the love in them again, but now I saw the desire, too. As I watched Adam watching Parvda, once more I felt a stab of jealousy that he'd found what he wanted so easily and immediately, and now was so obviously happy. If I had to guess, both worlds could fall into chaos and Adam wouldn't flinch as long as he was with Parvda. But this time I felt something more than jealousy, I felt a desire of my own. If I was to be with someone in this real body, I wanted them to look at me the way Adam looked at Parvda, with love and desire both.

“What's going through your brain, Cruz?” Adam asked, once Parvda disappeared into the crowd.

“Cruz?” I wrinkled my nose. “No one calls me Cruz.”

“Well, I'm calling you Cruz.”

I laughed. “I was thinking I'm happy you found Parvda. You guys are lucky.” Then I remembered who I'd seen in the weapons room and who wasn't so lucky. My mood darkened. “I met Zeera.”

Adam's smile disappeared. “Yeah. I know. Poor Sylvia.”

Just then the bonfire roared higher, the light of it flashing bright against the windows of the compound. The group of seventeens playing soccer whizzed by us, two girls shouting to each other. Another group splashed through the shallow waves, laughing. “You really woke up here?” I asked. “Staring into the eyes of Parvda?”

Adam nodded. “I'm sorry things have been harder on you,” he said.

I wondered if Adam knew that Lacy was right here, inside the house, or if Rain was keeping that information a secret. Then I thought about Rain's father setting me up to unplug and leaving me to die, and another possibility shook me. “Do you think Trader knew what would happen when each of us unplugged? That you'd wake up with your girlfriend, and that I'd wake up . . . how I did?”

Adam grimaced. “I've wondered that myself, but I can't really say one way or the other.” He glanced back at the crowd by the bonfire. “All I know is that around here, people listen to Rain and don't ask questions if he doesn't want them to. They accepted my presence like it was normal, like they'd expected my arrival. From what I understand, they took up the task of trying to rescue you because Rain said it was the right thing to do, even if it was dangerous.”

I shook my head, mixed emotions warring within. “So it's the same for Rain in the Real World as it was back home. Everyone does whatever he wants.”

“Don't be so hard on him, Skylar,” Adam said. “He broke off communications with his father because of what happened to you. That's the rumor, at least.”

My eyebrows arched. “What other rumors are there?”

“Well,” he said, his voice lowered, “I hear different things about Jonathan Holt. Some people think that he's
this idealistic leader of the App World, who's working to repair the divide between the Keepers and the citizens at home. And other people think that everything he does is about power, and that the only reason he'd stand up for the Keepers and those seventeens left on this side of the border is because he sees his power slipping away to Emory Specter.”

“And what do
you
think, Adam?” I asked.

“I think—” he started, but right then, Parvda returned, a bottle and two cups delicately balanced in her hands. Adam didn't finish. Instead, he smiled and changed the subject. “I think that
you
should take
my
advice, Skylar, and enjoy yourself tonight. One of the great things about this place is that come evening, people like to play. I think it's how everyone stays sane.”

I had a million other questions for Adam, and the thought of giving up the chance to ask them immediately was disappointing. “Okay,” I told him with a shrug. “I'll go along with it for now.”

Parvda handed Adam the bottle. “Beer for you.” She turned to me, offering me one of the cups. “And cocktails for us.”

Adam raised his bottle. “Shall we make a toast?”

“Definitely,” Parvda said.

“To Skylar joining us,” Adam said.

I raised my glass first to him, then to Parvda. “To finding the people we love.”

Parvda and Adam smiled at each other.

We clinked cups and bottles.

“Be careful with that stuff,” Parvda said just as I'd put the drink to my lips for a sip. “It's strong.”

“Now you tell me!” I'd already swallowed a big gulp, my eyes bulging, throat burning. If I'd been alone, I might have spit it out. “I'll take a Drunk App any day over this.”

“You'll get used to it,” Adam said.

“It makes your legs feel woozy,” Parvda said.

“My legs?” In the App World, the feeling of being drunk was like fizz in your mind. It blurred the lines of the virtual self in the atmosphere. I took a bigger sip, more prepared for the taste and the burning this time. “What does that even mean?”

Adam snatched the glass from my hand. “Keep drinking that fast and you'll find out.”

“Hey! Give that back.”

He held it up, looking into my eyes over the rim of the cup, his mouth a grin. “Don't say I didn't warn you.” He returned it to me. “It will turn your instincts to mush. Though, now that I think of it, maybe it's just the sort of push you need to loosen up. Like downloading an Antianxiety App.” He nodded. “So drink up!”

Parvda punched him in the arm this time. “Stop bullying her.”

He looked sheepish. “Why are all the girls hitting me tonight?”

She blinked up at him sweetly. “Maybe because you deserve it?”

“But I'm such a nice guy!”

I saw Rain walking up and over the dune, heading toward the bonfire. “I'll leave you two to work this out alone,” I said, and started off in his direction. The rumors Adam told me about were bright in my mind, and I wondered if I would find the right moment to bring them up with Rain. I wanted to know which ones were true, and what Rain thought.

He smiled when he saw me approaching. “You made it.”

“Did you think I wouldn't?”

“I don't know,” he said. “But I'm glad you're here. Did you get some rest?”

I shrugged, remembering my dream. We fell into step. “A little. That room is beautiful.”

“After my grandparents left Briarwood for good for the App World, other families took it over,” Rain explained as we walked. “The people who lived in it were some of the wealthiest citizens of the Real World. Then they abandoned it for the App World, too. Everyone here has, ah, co-opted their clothes and rooms.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” I said.

He glanced toward the group gathered near the fire. “Come with me to grab a beer and I'll introduce you around.” He peered into my almost-empty cup as we
walked. “Do you want another?”

I thought about Parvda's warning that the cocktail was strong. But then I heard Adam's voice saying it would loosen me up. “Sure,” I said, and vowed I'd drink this one more slowly.

A crowd surrounded several large coolers in the sand. Inside them were dozens of dark-brown bottles. Sitting on top of a table were pitchers full of whatever it was I'd been drinking. As night began to cloak the beach in darkness, everyone seemed to become more anonymous, and I felt more anonymous too. Maybe I really would have fun tonight, I thought, as Rain began to pick through the various options.

A tall boy with blond curly hair was next to me. He held up the cup in his hand, then pointed at the pitchers on the table. “Can I get you something?”

I shook my head. “Someone's already taking care of me, but thanks.”

The boy didn't go anywhere. Just stood there, looking at me, like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure what. He wore bathing suit shorts, like most of the other boys here. His arms and shoulders were muscular, like most everyone else, too. It was as though the plugs had kept us on a near-constant exercise schedule, toning our arms and legs and bellies, and feeding us nutrients for our hair and skin.