Authors: Heidi McCahan
Lauren tucked a stray curl behind her ear and stuffed wet sheets into the dryer. The dirty bathroom beckoned her but she ignored it in favor of a second cup of coffee. How did her mother do this every day? She felt exhausted already and the day wasn’t even half over.
She poured half and half into her mug as a blur of red sweat pants and spiky blond hair flew into the kitchen.
“Hiiiii-yaa!” Her nephew Joshua high-kicked and karate chopped his way past her chair.
“Whoa.” Lauren glanced at her nephew. “Let me see those staples.”
“Got five, right here.” Joshua leaned over and pointed at his scalp. Lauren winced. Gross. Emmy and Ava scampered in, waving identical stuffed monkeys. Their mother, Angela, brought up the rear. Dark circles underlined her brown eyes as she cradled baby Gavin in her arms.
Lauren stood and extended one arm toward her sister-in-law, giving her an awkward half-hug. The baby’s head brushed her arm and she retracted her arm, as though she’d been burned. “Hi, Ang.” She pasted on a smile, while her heart thundered in her chest. She’d avoided babies at all costs, always making up creative excuses not to assist with the post-partum appointments when she worked with Dr. Putnam.
“It’s so good to see you, Lo. I couldn’t believe it when Matt told me you were back in town.” Angela slid onto a kitchen chair and dropped her overstuffed diaper bag like a boat anchor on the floor. “How long you staying?”
Lauren shrugged.
At least until this mess with Holden blows over.
“I was supposed to be here for a week. Now that Granny’s in the hospital, I guess as long as they need me. Want some coffee?”
“No, thank you,” Angela looked down at her sleeping baby. “Not when I’m nursing. Caffeine upsets his stomach.”
Lauren made no effort to hide her surprise. “Seriously? How do you function?”
Angela offered a weak laugh. “Somehow we make it through.”
“What’s Matthew up to this morning?” Surely he wasn’t still asleep, foisting these children on his young wife.
“He’s working on his sermon. Pastor Tom is on vacation so Matt gets to preach tomorrow. I’m really excited for him.” Angela’s eyes brightened, her enthusiasm pushing aside the fatigue for a moment. She dipped her chin and planted a kiss on Gavin’s tiny forehead.
Lauren smiled at the mental image of her brother Matthew in the pulpit. Hard to believe the same boy once scrawled Angela’s name on the water tower in red spray paint.
“You should come tomorrow.”
“I don’t think so.” Lauren shuddered. She hadn’t darkened the door of Emerald Cove Community Church since the weekend of Pop’s funeral.
“Why not? Everyone would love to see you.”
“God and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms.”
“I’m sorry to hear that—Joshua! Put that down, please,” Angela said. Joshua came into the kitchen with his arms wrapped around a pan full of rocks and pebbles.
“But I found gold! Like Uncle Seth!”
“It doesn’t belong in the kitchen.” Angela stood and thrust baby Gavin into Lauren’s arms. “Here, hold him for me.”
Before she could protest, her new nephew lay in the crook of her elbow. A tingling sensation started in her chest, while black spots pocked her field of vision. The faint sweet scent of Pampers, the soft cotton blanket against her forearm and the perfect little fingers tucked into a tiny fist brought the horrid memories rushing back. Her heart ached and she tamped the images back down into the deepest recesses of her mind. Gavin yawned and his eyes fluttered open. He studied her with his gray blue eyes. Lauren froze.
Where is Angela?
She could not keep holding this baby.
Angela reappeared with Joshua in tow. “Good grief. He is fascinated with Seth and his gold mining stuff.”
“I want to go hunting for gold, Mom. Can I? Can I? Pleeeaase?” Joshua whined, yanking on Angela’s hand.
“Did s-s-s-omebody say gold?” Seth bellowed and grabbed Joshua from behind. Joshua squealed as his uncle tossed him high in the air.
Gavin wailed and Lauren held him at arm’s length, her heart pounding. “Take him.”
Angela giggled and scooped him up. “What’s the matter, Auntie Lauren?”
“I don’t do babies.”
“Oh. Well, I was sort of hoping—”
Seth’s growls erupted from the floor as he prowled on all fours and pretended to grab each of the twins. They giggled and side stepped his beefy arms, squealing with delight as they toddled in circles around him. Joshua yelled at the top of his lungs and jumped on his uncle’s back.
Angela’s lips were moving but her voice was drowned out by Gavin’s cries.
Lauren massaged her temples and closed her eyes. “I can’t hear you, Ang. What?”
“I was hoping you could watch the twins for me,” Angela called over the ruckus.
Oh, no. No way.
Lauren shook her head emphatically. “I don’t think so.”
Angela’s eyes brimmed with tears and she turned away.
Lauren followed her into the hallway. “What’s wrong?”
Angela swayed back and forth, pressing a pacifier into the little pink bow of Gavin’s lips.
“It’s nothing, really. Forget it.”
“Then why did you ask?”
Angela sighed. “I’m supposed to take Joshua to a birthday party. The girls need naps. Mike and Debbie watch the kids whenever. I thought you’d be okay.”
“I’m not my parents, Ang. I’m terrible with kids. Who is going to make the bed and clean the bathroom? I haven’t seen Dad this morning and Mom is still at the hospital.”
“The girls sleep really well here. You can do your chores while they nap.”
Lauren bristled.
Your chores.
She chose her words carefully. “I’ve kind of got my hands full, Ang. What if they wake up and need something? ’’
“Then turn on a show and give them a snack. They’ll be fine.”
Lauren hesitated. She wanted to help, but this request was testing her patience. “Maybe Matt could work on his sermon while the girls nap?”
“He won’t. I already asked.”
Surely Angela understood. The business came first. “I’m sorry. I can’t help you today.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out.” Angela stared at Gavin and avoided eye contact with Lauren.
Lauren nodded and grabbed the bucket of cleaning supplies from the hall closet. Brushing past her young sister-in-law, she tackled the bathroom with vigor. She clenched her teeth as she scrubbed the bathtub, anger bubbling up inside like hot lava. How could her brother be so selfish? It did not take all day to write a sermon. His family needed him. The ringing telephone interrupted her thoughts. The Inn couldn’t afford to miss any potential customers, either. She dashed for the kitchen and snatched the cordless on the fourth ring.
“Thank you for calling the Inn at the Cove. How may I help you?” Huh. Funny how that greeting her mother drummed into her head as a preteen rolled right off her tongue.
“Yes, I want to make a reservation.” The woman’s voice was cool and crisp.
“Um, okay, one moment please.”
Where was the reservation book?
Shuffling through a stack of papers on the counter, she uncovered a giant desk calendar with names scrawled inside the oversize squares
. It’s time to embrace the 21st century, Mom.
She envisioned a spreadsheet, rectangles marching across the page in formation, carrying the details of each reservation. She could design it this afternoon.
“Which dates are you interested in?” she asked.
“I want the loft next weekend.”
Lauren paused. “I’m sorry the loft is occupied.”
“But I’ve been there before. That’s the room I want. When is it available?”
“I’m sorry. It is occupied indefinitely. We have a lovely King bed with a private bath available.” Lauren scribbled
check website on a post-it note.
“By the way, this doesn’t sound like Debbie. Who am I speaking with?”
Lauren hesitated. “This is Lauren. May I have your name, please?” A sharp intake of breath followed by a beat of silence was the only response. “Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m here. Just in shock. Lauren, this is Jane Watson Merrill Montgomery. Your aunt.”
Lauren’s stomach plummeted. Mom would flip if Aunt Jane stayed at the Inn. “Oh. H—hello, Aunt Jane. What a … surprise.”
“Yes. Likewise. Please tell Debbie she can expect me on Friday. I suppose that King bed will have to do.” Jane reluctantly parted with her cell phone number, then hung up without saying goodbye.
Lauren puffed her cheeks and blew out a breath, flustered by this turn of events. She cringed at the thought of adding any more stress to Mom’s already overflowing plate.
Maybe we can convince Jane to get a hotel room. While she was writing the reservation on the calendar, the phone rang again. Glancing at the caller ID, she recognized her mother’s cell phone number. Oh boy. This would not be fun news to share.
She punched the talk button. “Inn at the Cove.”
“Hello, sweetheart. How’s it going today?”
“Just fine until a few minutes ago.”
“Oh no. What happened?”
Lauren drew a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “Aunt Jane called. She’s coming on Friday and wants to stay here.”
“You’re kidding. What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t know what to say. We had a room available so … I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out. Friday’s still a few days away, right?”
Lauren carved a rectangle around Aunt Jane’s name and number, taking her frustration out on the pen and paper. First the breakfast fiasco, then she’d hurt Angela’s feelings, and now this. Couldn’t one thing go her way today? “Maybe I could call her back, tell her I made a mistake.”
“No. We have to face this music sooner or later.”
“How’s Granny?”
“Surprisingly well, all things considered. I’d like for her to get some rest. And I need a shower. Would you mind coming to pick me up?”
“Sure. Are you ready now?” Tucking the calendar back under the stack of papers, she sifted through the basket of keys and snagged the spare to her mother’s minivan.
“Give me about ten minutes to speak with Dr. Wheeler.”
“Okay, see you soon.” She clicked the off button and dropped the phone on the counter. After checking the laundry and re-starting the dryer, she climbed the stairs to the loft and grabbed her bag. Rummaging for her lip gloss, she dabbed on a fresh coat as she went back down the stairs. The television was on in the front room and the little girls were mesmerized by Sesame Street. Angela had fallen asleep on the couch with Gavin in her arms. A pang of regret knifed her heart as she stared at the sleeping baby.
Seth smiled up at her from a tower of Legos he was constructing with Joshua. “Going somewhere?”
“Mom wants me to pick her up at the hospital.” She gestured toward the children. “Are you okay watching them?”
He shrugged. “Sure. We’re the men and we rule this house. Right, Josh?”
Joshua grinned and kicked the tower of Legos over. “Right.”
Lauren shook her head and slipped out the door before Seth could change his mind. Hopefully Angela and the kids would be gone when they got back and she could talk to Mom about a new reservation system and maybe even upgrading the website. If they had any hope of booking more reservations, she needed to make changes as soon as possible.
Granny sat propped up in her hospital bed, staring out the window. Her legs were concealed by a beautiful afghan. One arm was casted and the other arm leaned against the table, pulled close to her body. Her hand splayed across her open Bible.
“Granny?” Lauren whispered as she stepped closer.
Granny turned her head, blue eyes clear and bright. She smiled. “Hello, my dear.”
“I was so worried about you. How is your head?” Lauren planted a gentle kiss on her grandmother’s forehead and sat on the edge of the chair beside the bed.
“Oh, this old noggin will be just fine,” Granny rapped her knuckles against her temple.
“What’s this I hear about your arm? Dad says your ankle is broken, too?”
“My, news travels fast around here. Don’t you worry. I will be back on my feet in no time at all.”
The door opened and a nurse wearing pale blue scrubs and a broad smile stepped in. Lauren’s stomach plummeted.
Shannon.
They used to finish each other’s sentences, words spilling out all over the place. She lost many a phone privilege when her mother caught her huddled under the covers, gabbing into the wee hours.
She pulled out her stethoscope and glanced at Lauren. Her broad smile faltered and she stopped. “Oh my word. Lauren Carter? Is that you?”
Lauren swallowed hard. “Hi, Shannon. How are you?”
“I’m good. What brings you back to town?” Shannon lifted her stethoscope from around her neck and started checking Granny’s vital signs.
“I came to see my family, help out a little bit with … things.” It was partly true, anyway. She squirmed in her chair. Eight years gone by and not a word exchanged. Her chest tightened and she bit down hard on her lower lip. How did you make up for walking away from your dearest friend?
“Well, I know they are glad to see you. Right, Mrs. Watson?”
“Of course, dear. My you are a pretty thing. Have you met my grandson?”
Shannon giggled. “Yes, I know Seth. He’s a little young for me.”
Silence filled the room as Shannon pressed her fingers to Granny’s wrist and watched the clock. Lauren fidgeted with the straps on her handbag, wracking her brain for any nuggets of information Mom might have shared about Shannon. “Have you worked here long?”
“About two years, I guess.” Shannon made a note in Granny’s chart. “I worked in Anchorage for a little while, waiting on Jess to figure out what he wanted to do. But I hated it. Big city life wasn’t for me.”
Lauren nodded, thinking about all the little things that made Portland feel like home. “I guess it’s not for everyone.”
Shannon held her gaze for a moment, blue eyes questioning. “Well, we’re creatures of habit around here. We still get together at Jess’s sometimes. A bunch of us will be there tonight if you want to stop by.”
“I can’t.” She tipped her head toward Granny. “There’s no one to watch the Inn.”
Shannon glanced down at Granny’s chart, and then closed it gently. “If you change your mind, things usually get going about eight.”
“Thanks.” If her friends knew what she’d done, they wouldn’t welcome her back quite so easily.
Shannon reached for the door, but turned back. She took a breath and Lauren leaned forward expectantly. Her pulse quickened as she braced herself.
Go on, say it. I deserve it.
Instead, Shannon clamped her mouth shut and her lips formed a weak smile. She slipped out the door, taking her unspoken message with her.
Lauren gnawed on her thumbnail and tried to dismiss the regrets barging back in. Her friends still got together at Jess’s house. How many Saturday nights had she missed? Trucks circled up, tailgates down as the bonfire launched sparks into the pale blue sky. It didn’t matter. She didn’t belong here anymore. Bonfire days were over. She met Granny’s eyes and offered her a smile.
“You need to get home and care for that little one.”
Lauren’s heart lurched in her chest.
“Granny, I –”
“Go on.” Granny shooed her toward the door with a rapid flick of her fingers. Lauren’s knees quaked as she pushed up from the chair.
“I’m fine here. You get on home. That baby needs you.”
Lauren nodded and moved toward the door. Hot tears pricked her eyes. A lump filled her throat. The old familiar ache squeezed her heart. If only Granny knew the truth.
Maybe she does.
“That’s impossible.” Lauren cringed. She didn’t mean to say that aloud. She glanced over her shoulder. Granny’s eyes were already closed.
She stepped out into the hallway, pulling Granny’s door shut behind her. The unmistakable baritone voice of Dr. Wheeler boomed down the hallway. He needed to know about Granny’s sudden and unpredictable lapses into the past. Maybe he could adjust her medication. Lauren’s heels tapped out a staccato rhythm on the linoleum as she approached the nurses’ station. Before she could get his attention, Dr. Wheeler clutched his cell phone and dashed toward the ER. The meeting would have to wait. But the nurse could probably tell her where to find Mom.
“Sweetheart?” Mom was walking toward her, brow furrowed. The letters on her sweatshirt were cracked and fading, her short brown hair matted on one side. A smudge of mascara emphasized the fatigue in her eyes.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Your face is flushed. What’s going on?”
Lauren pressed her lips into a thin line, shaking her head slowly. “I don’t get it. One minute she’s totally with it, then the next thing out of her mouth makes zero sense.”
“Oh, honey, I know.” Mom pulled her close and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I’m sure she’s glad you stopped by. C’mon, let’s go home.”
Lauren frowned and followed Mom down the hall toward the waiting room. Maybe it wasn’t her place to worry about Granny’s meds. She’d only done a short rotation on the Psychiatric floor during her two semesters at Portland Community college and probably knew just enough to be dangerous. But there had to be some explanation for Granny’s cryptic comments.
“Did you hear me?” Mom glanced back over her shoulder, eyebrows raised.
Lauren shook her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t.”
“I asked if you wanted to drive?”
“Sure.” Lauren pulled the key to the minivan from her bag and followed Mom outside. Fog had rolled in again, hiding the mountains in shrouds of billowing gray and white clouds.
“I really appreciate your help. I’m sure it’s not easy to drop everything and come back home.” Mom climbed in the passenger side of the minivan.
Lauren circled around to the driver’s side, buying time to formulate her answer. This wasn’t the best time to let her parents know that the man who wanted to marry their daughter was quite possibly in a heap of trouble. But the reality was that without Holden, she couldn’t survive in Portland on her own. Sliding into the driver’s seat, she propped her bag on the console between them.
“Is something else bothering you? Besides Granny, I mean?”
Where to begin? Lauren wet her lips. She didn’t have to tell Mom everything. Just enough to get a fresh perspective. “Things aren’t going well with Holden. I-I don’t know where we went wrong. One day I’m dating a handsome, successful surgeon and almost overnight, he morphed into this distracted, paranoid person that I hardly recognize.”
“He’s probably under a lot of stress. Long hours, little sleep. Maybe he needs a vacation.”
“That’s the thing. This trip was his idea. He—” She cut her words short and stole a glance at Mom.
Mom managed a weak smile but the hurt in her eyes was unmistakable. “It’s okay, honey. You’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t want to spend a lot of time here.”
“It’s just … complicated. I’ve been gone so long and things haven’t turned out like I expected. And now I’m not even sure I can marry him. I feel like all of my plans are unraveling.”
A shadow crossed Mom’s face, but she quickly recovered and shaped her lips into a gentle smile. “Maybe the Lord has something better in mind.”
“I doubt it. He’s never seemed too concerned with me.”
“Now you know that isn’t true. Jeremiah twenty-nine eleven is engraved on that locket of yours for a reason. Do you remember what that verse says?”
Lauren’s fingers fluttered to her throat where she found the locket and caressed the tiny letters engraved on the back. She nodded.
“It says ‘For I know the plans for you; plans to prosper and not to harm. Plans to give you hope and a future.’” Mom reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t give up on Him.”
That verse seemed a long way from her reality now. She deserved to be forgotten, cast aside, after the mess she’d made of things. How could anyone love her if they knew what she’d done?
Her heart as icy as the glacial peaks on the horizon, she turned the key in the ignition.
Click, whirrr.
Then nothing.
Great.
Mom groaned and pressed her hands to her face. “Not again.”
Lauren got out and circled the car, as if the solution would materialize with a quick inspection.
“So this has happened before?” she asked, rubbing her arms vigorously. She hoped somewhere in her overstuffed suitcases she managed to pack at least one sweater. In her rush to get to the airport, she must have left her jacket in the hall closet.
Mom got out of the van, holding her cell phone. “This van is so temperamental.”
“Why don’t you get Chip to look at it?” Chip Harvey repaired everybody’s cars for as long as she could remember. She loved visiting his shop with her Dad when she was a little girl. Mr. Harvey walked with a limp but he always ambled over to the tiny waiting area that smelled like motor oil and Windex to offer her a dum dum. She would snatch the sucker from his outstretched hand, trying to ignore the black grime that caked every fingernail. He always let her watch Scooby Doo on the miniscule black and white TV while they waited.
Mom chewed the corner of her lip. “Chip passed away. His kids didn’t want the shop so it closed. We haven’t made the time to find someone else. Seth can usually get it running again, anyway.”
Lauren swallowed hard. The older Harvey girl was in her class. Beth. She married the Clawson boy right after graduation. She shook her head. It would be hard to lose a parent so young. When things settled down at the Inn she would drop by Beth’s house, maybe bring flowers.
“Let’s track down Dad. He can swing by and give us a ride.”
“I’m freezing, I’ll wait inside.” Lauren said. They abandoned the minivan and scurried back to the hospital as a light rain began to fall.
A carafe of coffee beckoned from a side table in the waiting room. Lauren filled a Styrofoam cup and held it close, letting the steam warm her face. Dad wasn’t answering his phone so Mom had moved on to other options.
The clock on the wall ticked closer to three p.m. and Lauren started to pace. Guests could arrive at any time and the beds still weren’t made. Seth could not be counted on to check anybody in, much less prep the rooms.
“Seth can come get us.” Mom said, dropping her phone in her lap. “Matthew will stay and greet the guests until one of us gets home.”
“I hope Angela gets the kids out of there.”
Mom stared, eyes twinkling. “Do you think my grandchildren are bad for business?”
“Customers invest in an Alaskan vacation. They purchase an experience. I don’t think toddlers eating goldfish crackers appeals to them. We need to manage our presentation. Blow them away with a unique first impression.” Lauren felt her adrenaline pump as she envisioned the possibilities. “What about hors D’oeuvres and complimentary wine in the afternoon? Or a hot chocolate bar and s’mores by the fire pit for a more casual feel?”
“Wow.” The corners of Mom’s lips twitched. “I can see you’ve given this some thought.”
“It’s basic marketing, Mom.”
“And I thought you were a medical assistant.” Mom patted her hand. “I appreciate your input, love. We have always been a family business. Kids underfoot keep me young.”
Mom was missing the point completely. “But I think—”
“Oh, look. There’s Seth’s truck. Let’s get out of here.” Mom was out of her chair before Lauren could finish her objection.
Lauren sat motionless for a minute, teeth pressed into her lower lip. She didn’t expect Mom to shoot her ideas down so quickly. It didn’t take an expert to figure out that the Inn was struggling. Still clutching her coffee cup, she followed Mom back out to the minivan.
Seth had already popped the hood and was leaning over the engine, bushy brows knitted together.
“Thanks for coming, sweetie.” Mom patted him on the arm and leaned in next to him. “What do you think?”
Seth scratched his scruffy chin and shrugged. “Don’t know yet. C-c-could be the starter. Just p-p-put in a n-n-new battery last month.”
Lauren sighed. “Want to try jumping it?”
Seth grinned. “We could give it a shot. You a m-m-mechanic now?”
“No, smarty. I just drive an old car.”
“C-c-cables are in my truck.”
Lauren set her coffee on the hood of Seth’s battered maroon Ford Ranger and opened the rusty toolbox mounted behind the cab. She carried the cables back to the minivan and offered them to her brother.
“You busy later?” Seth clipped the cables on the battery.
Lauren glanced at Mom, who shrugged. “Not really. Why?”
Wiping his hands on his caramel-colored Carhart pants, Seth pulled his keys from his pocket. “P-p-party at Jess’s tonight. I want you to c-c-come with me.”
Lauren’s heart lurched. Two invitations within an hour. Were Shannon and Seth in on this together? “I don’t know, Seth. I’ve been gone a long time.”
“Don’t matter.”
The curious stares wouldn’t be a problem. But what if people started asking questions about why she left? That could get dicey. “Who goes to those parties anymore?”
The words were out of her mouth before she even gave them a second thought. Seth’s wounded expression made her wince. “Me.” He brushed past her to lift the hood on his truck.
She groaned and shook her head. “That’s not what I meant.”
Mom slipped her arm around Lauren’s shoulders. “He misses you, you know. Just wants to hang out with his big sister before you disappear again.”
“I’m not going to disappear.”
“He doesn’t know that.”