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“For what it’s worth, I know how wrong I was with the way I treated you. Me being a cheating asshole had nothing to do with you. I don’t even know why I did it. I do love you. I mean, I did love you.”

He loves her? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I swear to God that if she falls for that bullshit, I’ll kill someone—probably someone named Jason.

“It’s okay, Jason. I forgive you.”

Hearing those words makes my blood boil and breaks my heart simultaneously. She forgives him? After everything he did to her? After all the cheating, the lying, the spending, the destruction of her self-esteem?

I’ve been begging for forgiveness for months, since long before the accident. I’ve done everything I can to make things up to her. I’ve stood by her side through all the pain and the drama, and I’m still nothing but the asshole that ruined her life. I don’t think she’s ever going to let me back in… It’s an earth-shattering revelation.

“I just wish I could’ve realized what I had before I went and destroyed it all.”

I can’t believe he’s making a move to get her back. I’m sure that’s what he’s doing. Because I know what it feels like to lose Ashley, I can’t say that I blame him, but if she takes him back, it will kill me. Right here. Right now.

I can’t bear to hear any more, so I clear my throat to make my presence known. “You ready to go, Ashley?” I ask.

“Hey, Tanner,” Jason says softly. He must suspect that I overheard their conversation because he looks as though he’s afraid I’m going to deck him, which is a definite possibility.

I nod.

“You’re late.” Ashley points out, as if I didn’t already know.

God, what I wouldn’t give for her to say something to me that wasn’t laced with contempt.

“I know. There was road construction.”

“I’ll let you go. It was good seeing you again,” Jason says before turning away and heading off through the lobby. Smart move on his part.

“Bye,” Ash calls after him before turning to me. “Let’s go.”

After I help her into the car, which is a battle in itself, I climb in on my side. Before I can stop myself, I ask, “What was Jason doing there?”

“He works in the building, not that it’s any of your business.” Animosity. It’s always animosity—never civility.

Remembering the flowers that he sent to the hospital after her accident, I ask, “Do you see him often?”

“Here and there. Why? What’s it to you?”

“Just curious…” I know I should just let it lie, but I can’t, not after overhearing the two of them. “Curious as to how you can so easily forgive him after a few casual run-ins but still have nothing but hatred for me, even after I’ve been trying everything I can think of to get you to forgive me for months now.” I struggle unsuccessfully to keep the anger and hurt out of my voice.

“I can forgive him because I wasn’t head over heels in love with him when he hurt me. He didn’t leave me pregnant and alone. He didn’t accuse me of chasing after a meal ticket. He didn’t kill my son,” she says, holding nothing back.

“Goddammit, Ashley. I know I played my part in what happened to you, but I’m getting really fucking tired of you throwing it in face every chance you get! Not for nothing, but the crash wouldn’t have been nearly as bad if you weren’t such a stubborn brat and had driven the perfectly safe car sitting in the parking garage of your building. I told you over and over again that something bad was going to happen in that death trap of yours. And look, it did. Maybe you should take some responsibility for your actions too.”

I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth, but I couldn’t have held them in if I tried. I know they’re harsh, but I’m sick and tired of being blamed for the accident time and time again. She never mentions anything I’ve done to help her heal over the last four months. I might as well have been driving the fucking car that hit her myself with the way she talks about it.

“Fuck you, you asshole! How dare you blame me? I’m the only one of the two of us that gave a shit about Daniel, yet you wonder why I’ll never forgive you.”

“I shouldn’t have said that, but how can you say you’re the only one who cared about Daniel? I did everything I could to try and be there for you both. You know I did.” How can she still believe I didn’t care?

The look on her face is on of pure disgust. “Oh, please! You bolted the minute I told you about him and didn’t contact me for over a month. Then you waltzed back in thinking you could buy your way into his life, which I never would’ve allowed, but we don’t have to worry about that now, do we? Thanks to you.”

“I made a mistake, Ashley,” I say. “One fucking mistake! I tried to be there for you in any way I could, and you shut me out, repeatedly. No one can say I didn’t try.”

“One mistake that cost me everything.”

It’s always back to her. She’s the only one who lost anything.

“I lost everything too. If you pulled your head out of your ass, you might see that.”

She sets her jaw, looking firmly out the window, and I stare out at the road ahead. It’s obvious that’s there is no reasoning with her. Every word that leaves her mouth cuts me deeper, leaves more scars. The sad part is that she couldn’t possibly blame me more than I already blame myself. I just wish she would realize she played a part in creating this reality as well. If she had only given me a second chance, everything would be completely different.

As much as I want to be back in Ashley’s life, her behavior over the last few months has me worried about what would happen if that ever became a reality. How would she react the next time I made a mistake? What would I have to endure every time I make a bad call? Would every fight be this bad? I’m worried I’ll find myself walking on eggshells all the time, always afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. Is that a life I would want to live even if it were with Ashley? I want someone who can love me unconditionally, someone who can forgive me with ease, not hold things over my head. I want Ashley to love me the way I love her, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore.

“I don’t trust you,” she says out of the blue, as though our connection is still as strong as ever even though we’re at odds. “You left me when I needed you the most. How am I supposed to get past that?” For once, there’s no malice in her voice, and it’s jarring.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I was just wondering the same thing myself.” It seems it’s time to acknowledge the impasse we’ve reached and lay everything out on the table.

“Huh?” Her brow furrows in confusion.

“I was just thinking that same thing regarding you—”

“Me? What the hell—?”

“I don’t want to fight with you. Can’t we just have one conversation without killing each other? Don’t you ever get tired of it?” I ask, feeling completely spent. I can’t keep this up anymore.

She glares at me, which I’ll take over the yelling and cursing any day.

“I was just trying to say that I was thinking the same thing. If by some chance we were ever to get past everything that’s happened and you actually forgave me, how could I trust you not to treat me this way again? I’d be constantly worried about making another mistake and being raked over the coals again. I don’t think that I could live my life like that. So while you don’t trust me, I guess I can’t trust you either. So what’s the point? We can’t trust each other, and you can’t forgive me. I’m just trying to figure out why I’ve been fighting so hard. As much as I don’t want to admit it, you’re right. I guess it’s time to move on.”

I feel her gaze boring holes into the side of my head, but she doesn’t say another word, even as I pull up in front of her building and park to help her out of the car. When we reach the front of the building, she turns to stare at me some more.

I decide to take her silence as a sign that she agrees. “Goodbye, Ashley,” I say and head back to my car, trying to figure out what comes next.

Chapter 28

Tanner

After saying goodbye to Ashley, the last thing I’m in the mood for is Melissa.

I hear the excitement in her voice when she calls me, and I ask her to come over.

My blood has been boiling since I got a text message from her last night saying she’s back in the States and wants to get together. I’ve been waiting to confront her for months, and I haven’t spoken to her since finding out about her backstabbing ways after Ashley’s accident. I’ve only agreed to meet her in person because I know I won’t get the same satisfaction out of dealing with her over the phone.

At this point, I’m really questioning her intelligence. How can she not have gotten the hint that I’ve been avoiding her when I haven’t answered her calls or returned her texts in months? Even my mother stopped taking her calls. She must have no idea that I’ve been made the wiser about who she really is.

I haven’t given her much thought lately, but finally confronting what she did head-on really has me enraged. What if Ashley had taken her seriously? Would Melissa really have been okay going through life keeping something like this from me? It makes me wonder what else she’s lied about over the past seven years. The irony of the situation isn’t lost me. Six months ago, I’d though Ashley was the lying manipulative bitch, but it turns out that the real one had been right under my nose the whole time.

I know I should be the better person and quietly cut ties with Melissa, but I can’t—not this time. I need to fuck with her just like she fucked with me, which is why I have a fake smile plastered across my face as the devil herself sashays her way across my kitchen as though she’s Miss Fucking America.

“Oh my God! I missed you so much.” She beams at me so brightly you’d think I just hung the fucking moon for her. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek.

It takes everything I have not to recoil from her touch. Her closeness is enough to make me nauseated, but her actually touching me takes me to a whole new level of disgust.

“How was your trip?” I ask, pulling away from her as casually as I can. All I want to do is throw her across the fucking room, but that would probably arouse her suspicion that I’m not glad to see her, and I don’t want that to happen just yet.

“It was amazing. The first two and half months were focused on Fashion Week—Paris, London, Milan. Being surrounded by all of those the beautiful clothes and people was such a rush.”

How have I never realized how truly shallow this woman is until just now? The bullshit coming out her mouth reminds me of the nonsense sounds the adults make in old
Charlie Brown
cartoons. It’s all so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that it makes my stomach turn.

“It was so nice to lounge on the French Riviera. You know how much I love the nude beaches. No tan lines.”

The look Melissa is giving me is clearly meant to be seductive, but I’m only repulsed by her pouting lips, the hip cocked to the side, and the hand resting on it as if to draw attention to where a tan line should be. Now I see why Quinn and Ashley have never liked her. They must’ve seen through her façade from a mile away. I’ve been so fucking oblivious. All I want is to get as far away from her as possible.

I attempt to smile sweetly, but I’m not sure it comes across as sincere. “I’m glad you had such a nice time.”

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here for your big win,” she says. “You deserved it after all your hard work and all the crap you’ve had to deal with, and I would’ve loved nothing more than to celebrate with you, but there was no way I could bail on all the prep.” She rubs a hand up down my arm, petting me as though I’m a purebred horse as she talks about the big win, not once mentioning the accident.

“I didn’t celebrate it. There were other things going on. You didn’t miss much except the funeral for my son.” I feel my face fall as I consider the fact that she would’ve probably liked nothing more than to celebrate the death of Daniel. It’s what she’s wanted from the beginning.

“I feel terrible about not being here for that.” She forces her mouth into a frown, at least attempting to pretend she cares.

“You know… I thought about you a lot while you were gone,” I say, closing in on her the way a predator would his prey, setting the stage for her exit from my life forever.

A huge smile spreads across her face. “You did?” she asks.

“Yes, you said something the last time we were together that stuck with me. You told me you couldn’t stand around, watching me be naïve and made a fool of.” I smile again.

Melissa looks a bit confused but seems more pathetic than anything else as she hangs on my every word as if it were biblical scripture.

“Well, you seem to be doing much better. At least the pro of the whole situation was that you were finally able to separate yourself from that wretched woman. She was never right for you.”

“Not like you, right?” I ask, still holding the smile on my face that I’m sure now looks more evil than happy.

Nevertheless, she appears oblivious to the change of emotion, too wrapped up in claiming the prize she thinks she won. “I always knew we were meant to end up together. I’m just glad you see it now too.” Melissa steps closer and leans in as if to kiss me, but there’s no way she’s getting her venomous lips on mine.

“Is that why you went over to Ashley’s place and told her that I wanted her to kill my son?” I ask, no longer able to keep the hatred out of my voice. With the trap sprung, I don’t think I’ll be able to control anything else I say now. My body vibrates with a fury, and I do everything in my power to contain it.