Unspoken Love (12 page)

She came upon a conglomeration of people. Southern belles in all their finery announced to one another that they were going to visit friends or families while their personal slaves stood by to do their bidding. Northern merchants claimed they were on their way to Southern cities to see if they could become more prosperous. She overheard planters and their sons bragging that they had business to attend to but not before heading to a brothel to enjoy the pleasures of sensual women. Blushing at their brazen words, she moved on, noting that housewives and harlots alike were living on the deck. Her eyes fixed on adventure seekers from the frontier who flowed with the current, ready to do whatever it took to achieve their own ends.

She passed the crowd and made her way to the dining room. Not yet ready to consume food on her delicate stomach, she asked the steward for a cup of tea. As she sipped the warm brew, she closed her eyes and thought of Nicholas. He would be working in the fields right now. She nearly booked passage back to
Small Timbers
as she fantasized about his caressing touch and imagined him speaking endearments to her. She envisioned him working on the plantation until a voice overrode her daydreams.

“Hello, Jenny. I’m glad to see you looking well today.”

Jenny looked up at Zachary with a blank stare. She recalled meeting him last night but little else.

Zachary sought to jog her memory. “Do you remember who saw you to your room and helped you into bed?”

Jenny felt her cheeks flush as she vaguely recalled someone tugging at her wet clothes, then placing her nude form under the sheets.

Her eyes grew wide with embarrassment.

“You undressed me? How could I have let that happen? I would not have let you in my room if my senses were intact.”

Zachary flashed her a dazzling smile, and his eyes sparkled. “You are a beautiful woman, Jenny. I was glad to come to your assistance.”

“No doubt!” she chortled.

“Do not misunderstand, Miss Grant. You had imbibed far too much. You were physically sick, and your clothes were soaked clear through. I only did what a gentleman would do.”

“A gentleman would have called a member of my own sex to come to my aid, Mr. Brown,” she replied haughtily.

Zachary played with the rim of his hat and looked her in the eyes. “I am not a gentleman, Miss Grant. I am a gambler. I took my chances with a lovely lady. Besides, would you have the whole ship know you cannot hold your liquor? A woman’s tongue can be fraught with wickedness, especially when a beautiful woman is involved.”

“I must admit, gossip travels fast, and it doesn’t take much to become a woman scorned, particularly one traveling alone.” It wasn’t her nature to drink so much alcohol. Perhaps the trauma of leaving Nicholas had affected her more than she realized and she had unconsciously tried to obliterate her sorrow. Still, she would be discomfited if anyone learned of her unbecoming ways. She desperately tried to recall Zachary in her cabin. She couldn’t remember if he had taken liberties with her or if she had allowed it, but she knew she had to find out. Heat crept into her cheeks as she carefully chose her words. “Did we? I-I mean, were you? Did you? Oh, this is coming out all wrong. I sound like a child just learning to speak!”

Zachary’s warm laughter filled the air. “I can assure you Miss Grant, we were not intimate.” He leaned toward her and smiled mischievously. “If we had been, you would not have to ask.”

Flustered at his boldness, Jenny blurted, “Are you bragging, Mr. Brown?” Immediately, she regretted her words. This conversation was taking her where she had no intentions of treading. Refusing to be less than a lady and grateful that he hadn’t taken advantage of her in her weakened state, she chose to dismiss the subject. What did disturb her was that Zachary had called her
Miss Grant
. She must have introduced herself as
Jenny Grant
last night, foregoing her marital status of Mrs. It’s probably of little consequence anyway, for surely, Nicholas is already having Jason Walker draw up the divorce papers. Oblivious to Zachary sitting beside her, she continued to dwell on Nicholas. The night they stayed at her father’s house, he had passionately fulfilled her needs. Deep down, she knew Nicholas held her heart. But they had continued to live a strained existence. Now she must forget him. Nicholas was no longer in her life, and she must move on.

“Where are you heading, Jenny?”

“To Natchez,” she answered.

“Have you relatives there?”

“No, I just thought it was a good place to make a new start.” She realized she might have revealed too much in their short conversation and didn’t want to discuss her private life. She chuckled inwardly, thinking how Aunt Thelma might scold her by saying, “If Zachary knew you were alone with no family, why, no telling what he might do to you.”

“Have you ever played cards, Jenny?”

“No, I never had the time. There was always too much to do at the plantation.”
Oh dear, there I go again, another slip of the tongue.

“Come with me to the gaming tables tonight. I’ll escort you there personally.”

“I have little use for gambling,” Jenny replied, ready to turn him down. Rethinking his offer, she figured it would help pass lonely hours and reasoned it would take her mind off Nicholas. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I accept your invitation. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going on deck.”

Leaving the dining hall, she spent the day roaming the decks and conversing with the other passengers, being careful to avoid speaking of herself.

Later that evening, Zachary met Jenny at her cabin and escorted her to dinner. After a pleasant meal, he took her to the elegantly furnished casino.

Jenny glanced about the room, charmed with its rich decor. Several gaming tables stood on the parquet floor; sparkling chandeliers hung from the painted ceiling. Her eyes shifted to mirrors that covered the walls, exposing the grandeur of the patrons. They were gathered around the piano and sang along as the pianist played familiar tunes. A haze of cigar smoke filled the crowded room as Zachary helped her to a seat, then sat down beside her and squeezed her hand.

“Tonight, you will bring me luck,” he proudly declared, his voice rising above the noisy crowd.

With reserve, Jenny watched his quick fingers shuffle and deal the cards. Loud music blared from the adjoining room as the minutes became hours. By the evening’s end, Zachary’s claim had come true. He was far richer then when he had arrived.

Zachary stuffed the money into his pocket. “Will you stroll with me on deck?”

“Sure,” Jenny said, relieved to leave the hazy, tobacco-scented room.

Carefully, they skirted the sleeping passengers who could not afford a private cabin.

Eventually, Zachary walked her to her cabin. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. “May I have the pleasure of your company for breakfast?”

Jenny wanted to refuse him on principle, yet she found him delightfully entertaining. Besides, loneliness gnawed at her every time she thought of Nicholas. On impulse she said, “Yes, we’ll dine tomorrow,” then stepped into her cabin and closed the door.

Zachary stood alone, affected by her charm and bewitched by her beauty. He knew that he could easily fall in love with Jenny. A vagabond at heart, he flirted outrageously with women and courted them at will. Taking what they offered, he left them brokenhearted. Yet now that he had found Jenny, he saw women in an altogether different light and knew she was a lady of virtue. He felt guilty for plying her with wine that first night, for if she’d been accustomed to the rolling ship and not gotten sick, he would not have been able to so easily persuade her to allow him into her cabin. This only served to increase her problems.
Why was she traveling alone?
he wondered.
Was she running from someone? Perhaps a former lover? It didn’t matter.
Soon, they would be in Natchez, and he knew that he must win her heart before they arrived or chance losing her for all time.

Nakao watched Zachary saunter down the corridor, noting how his eyes twinkled with admiration since leaving Jenny.
This is not good,
he surmised. Jenny was married to Nicholas, and Nakao had seen the love in her eyes. He didn’t understand their love as stubborn pride forced them apart. He recalled the time he met Nicholas at
Small Timbers
and how he harbored a fierce jealousy. Jenny did not appear taken with Zachary, but she seemed to be encouraging his attentions. He felt that he needed to watch them closely since a virile man could only withstand so much temptation.

Chapter 13

Anxious to see Jenny, Zachary finished getting ready for the day. He’d thought of little else since he had met her. He couldn’t claim to be in love with her and certainly didn’t have marriage on his mind. Still, he dearly loved the pleasure of her company and hoped she would not refuse his proposal. Slipping into his jacket, he gazed into the mirror and donned a stylish black hat. He left the stateroom in search of Jenny. He found her on deck watching the waves as they moved downstream. Together, they went into the dining hall for breakfast.

“The steward says we’re entering Vicksburg,” Jenny said excitedly.

“Yes, and in a few days we’ll be in Natchez,” Zachary replied. He leaned forward and grasped her hand. “Will you come to my cabin, Jenny? I’d like to speak with you in private.”

Instinctively, Jenny drew her hand away. Disheartened by one man, she vowed not to let it happen again. “What do you have to say that you can’t tell me here?”

Zachary motioned at the people running to and fro. “There are too many disruptions here.”

Jenny gazed into his eyes and mulled over his request. He could have taken advantage of her the first night they met, but he didn’t. “If we must talk, let’s do so quickly. I want to be on deck for the boarding and loading at Vicksburg. I’ve never been this far south and I’d like to watch.”

“As you wish, Jenny. We’ll only be a moment and then we can go on deck together.”

Jenny followed Zachary into his quarters. She glimpsed the unmade bed, the gilt-trimmed looking glass, and rose-colored furnishings. She placed her hands on her hips. “Now, Zachary, what is so important that you whisk me away to the seclusion of your chambers?”

Zachary flashed her a grin, removed his hat, and tossed it on the bed. He grasped her hands and held them firmly. “You must hear me out fully.”

Jenny stood rigid, her breathing shallow. “Go, on.”

“I want you to live with me. I’ll give you all your heart desires and dress you in finery. Together, we can ride the steamboats up and down the Mississippi.”

“Are you asking me to become your wife?”

“I want you to be my mistress.”

Jenny’s lips quivered. “You are asking me to live in sin!”

“My hasty actions must seem appalling to you, since most gentlemen court ladies long before they become sweethearts. But time is of the essence. I want your answer before we reach the next port. I couldn’t chance letting you slip through my fingers.” He pulled her into his embrace and kissed her profoundly.

Jenny was not immune to his masculine charm and kissed him back. But she couldn’t do as he asked. Regretting her naiveté for coming to his room, she broke free and bumped into the washstand. The pitcher and washbowl tumbled to the floor. “I can’t—”

Zachary pulled her back into his arms. His hot breath caressed her ear.

“Let me love you,” he whispered. With one finger, he traced sensuous circles along her jaw-line. “Then you won’t want to leave me.”

“How dare you take liberties with me? You are treating me like a common trollop!”

“I can’t help myself Jenny! You’re driving me insane with passion. Women flaunt themselves at me, but it’s you I desire.” Again his lips sought hers.

The steward stepped into the room unannounced, his eyes widening as the surprised pair returned his gaze.

“A thousand pardons, Mr. Brown,” he uttered. “I didn’t realize the room was occupied. I came to clean your cabin.”

Grateful for the steward’s intrusion, Jenny broke free of Zachary’s embrace and ran from the cabin as fast as her legs would take her. Off the ship she ran, trying to dodge the crowd but knocking some of the people off balance. They eyed her with contempt.

Skirting the town, she dashed into the woods so that she could collect her troubled thoughts. She sat down on a nearby tree stump, her heart pounding unmercifully in her chest.
What have I done? With no money or clothes, where will I go?
Mortified by Zachary’s actions, she had thought only of escape. Now she might be in worse straits.

She caught her breath and sprang to her feet. In the distance, she heard singing. Thinking it peculiar to hear music in the forest, she silently approached a camp. A group of young women sang hymns as an evangelist welcomed someone into his fold.

The handsome preacher, somberly dressed in a black suit and tie, caught sight of Jenny and moved toward her, his arms outstretched. “Are you fraught with despair? Do you need a friend, my dear? Won’t you join us?”

Jenny was mesmerized as he encircled her. Uncomfortable with his familiarity, she broke free from his embrace.

The women continued to harmonize, their beautiful voices filling the air.

The preacher’s voice dripped with charisma. “I am Gilbert Johnson, and these fine ladies are my followers. They travel with me from city to city and camp along the way to sing their praises. Will you stay with us?”

Gilbert’s hypnotic and persuasive manner soothed Jenny’s tangled thoughts. She averted her gaze.
If only father was well,
she reasoned,
I could go to him and seek refuge.
Fearing the shock would be too much for him, she decided not to return home just yet. When he was stronger, she could tell him everything. Meanwhile, desperately needing lodging and food, she decided she had no other choice than to stay with her new acquaintances. She looked at the tall, brawny preacher who awaited her decision. “Thank you for your generosity, sir.”

Gilbert gently squeezed her hand. “Set your troubles aside. You are welcome to stay with us as long as you like.”

Jenny raised her head with pride and her shoulders became erect. “I don’t have any money, but I want to do my fair share. I’ll earn my way and help where I’m needed,” she promised.

“And you shall,” said a woman who appeared to be in her early twenties. The woman approached her. A breeze gently caressed her long golden tresses as she looked at her with friendly brown eyes.

Gilbert released Jenny’s hand and stepped back. A look of satisfaction crossed his features. “What is your name?”

“Jennifer.”

“Selma, see to Jennifer’s needs.”

“Yes, Preacher Johnson.”

The two women walked toward a covered wagon.

“We only go by first names here, except for Preacher Johnson. He goes by both names,” Selma volunteered.

Selma took her inside where two cots ran the length of the wagon.

“You can sleep here,” she said, pointing to the bed on the left. “Sit with me while I fix my hair.” Reaching into a small chest wedged between the beds, Selma removed a hairbrush and stroked her yellow locks. “You may use my brush anytime,” she offered kindly. Setting the hairbrush aside, she moved some blankets and clothing out of their way. “There isn’t much room in here, but it’s a place to rest your head.”

“Indeed, it is,” Jenny agreed. “At least we have shelter and protection from the elements.”

Fidgeting in her seat, Selma ran her fingers over a faded and worn cotton gown. “Preacher Johnson says he will treat us to ribbons and lace to make our gowns pretty for the sermons.”

They left the wagon, and Selma escorted Jenny through the makeshift camp. The shy, dedicated women nodded their heads, speaking very little. An odd thought struck Jenny as she took in their appearance. They were all young and very beautiful. She dismissed her silly notions as she followed Selma through the woods where dense greenery shaded them from the sultry weather.

The aroma of food permeated the air as Selma guided her to the campfire and picked up utensils for the both of them. Spooning beans and hash onto a tin plate, she passed it to Jenny, then she filled their cups with strong black coffee. She motioned for Jenny to follow, walked to a secluded spot, and sat down. During the meal, Selma praised Preacher Gilbert and their travels. “He is our master and knows what’s good for us,” she volunteered. “I fully believe in him.”

Feeling uncomfortable with Selma’s statement, Jenny declined to comment. “How are your staples provided?”

“We live on contributions from congregations that come to hear comforting words. We will stay here two more days and then travel to Natchez. Preacher Johnson says there are many lost souls there and we must help them.”

After they had eaten, Jenny helped the women wash the utensils, then stack them in the space designated in the small food wagon.

She and Selma entered the cramped wagon and bedded down for the night. They squeezed onto the cots, barely able to move in the tight quarters. Still, Jenny considered the alternative and gratefully accepted her temporary lodgings.

During the night, Jenny awoke from a tormented dream about Nicholas. She couldn’t shake the memory of those haunting green eyes and his well-built physique. Through the opening, she saw the moonlight filtering through the trees and branches swaying in the midnight breeze. Glancing about the tiny wagon, she realized that Selma wasn’t there and assumed she had gone into the woods to relieve herself. Again, her thoughts drifted to Nicholas. She regretted living in a loveless marriage and was deeply sorry he’d deceived her father. Yet, she yearned to be by his side as he oversaw the plantation. She wanted to feel his sensuous touch bringing her to arousal like the night at her father’s house. He’d taken his time, gently trailing kisses down her neck, her breast, kissing her lips, touching her . . . She bolted into a sitting position. She admonished herself for letting her mind wander and wishing for his caresses. Her common sense seemed to vanish when Nicholas invaded her thoughts. Tears of frustration filled her eyes as she realized she would never again see his taunting smile or watch those sensual and beguiling green eyes.

The following day, the group started for Natchez. They had gone several miles when, amid the dense forest, they came upon a large vacant house. Tall white pillars graced the two-story, red brick structure. Whitewashed shutters barely hung on the hinges beside the elongated windows.

Gilbert assessed the situation. “We’ll stay here tonight. We can move about freely in this spacious dwelling and have some respite from the crowded wagons.” Glancing at the attentive women, he continued, “Spread news of our arrival. We’ll meet tonight around the campfire.”

The women divided in groups of two and parted to do his bidding. Jenny stayed with Selma and, in preparation for the night, made the house presentable. Vigorously they cleaned away cobwebs and swept out the dust with a makeshift straw broom, then placed pallets on the wooden floors throughout the house. After they finished their work, Jenny and Selma strolled to the creek and bathed. The water soothed Jenny’s mind and revitalized her spirit.

Trouble at the plantation had delayed Nicholas a few days. At Stops Landing, Nicholas dismounted and tied Dexter to the hitching post. Making fast strides, he stepped into the depot and addressed the clerk. “Has a woman traveling alone booked passage on the Marylou? She has black hair and captivating green eyes.” He held his hand in the air. “And she’s about this height.”

The clerk met his gaze. “A woman fitting her description did, indeed, book passage on the Marylou. She’s heading to Natchez.” He scratched his head and continued, “I don’t see many women traveling alone. It’s not safe.” As an afterthought, he hastened to say, “If you’re looking to catch up with her, the boat will be stopping at Vicksburg to pick up more passengers before heading to Natchez.”

“Thanks,” Nicholas said and darted outside. Mounting Dexter, he began the tedious journey to Vicksburg. If he rode hard he could catch up to Jenny before the Marylou headed to Natchez. He was concerned for her safety. She was independent but needed his guidance and protection. He swallowed hard.
Who am I kidding?
He was only making excuses because, in his heart, he knew he missed Jenny and wanted her back at the plantation.
If only there was a way I could convince her to go home with me.

When he arrived in Vicksburg, he learned the Marylou had come and gone. Damn! He had come so close to finding Jenny.

He dismounted, walked into a tavern, and ordered food and ale. While consuming a tasty meal, he chanced to overhear two inebriated women discussing an incident.

“The lady nearly knocked me over,” said the plump woman, slurring her words.

“She was running scared,” piped the other. “Her ebony hair tumbled down her shoulders and blew every which way in the wind.”

“She was like a whirlwind,” the other lady chimed.

Nicholas set his drink down and joined their conversation. “Pardon me ladies, who is this woman that you speak of?”

The women looked at him with bleary eyes. Finally, one of them said, “We don’t know her personally. She ran off the Marylou like the devil himself was after her.”

“Which way did she go?”

Both of the women pointed toward the woods.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“We most certainly are,” the women said in unison. Hiccupping loudly, they gulped down mugs of ale, leaving their meals untouched.

Nicholas nodded his thanks, finished his drink, and then went outside. Hoping the tipsy women hadn’t steered him wrong, he unhitched Dexter and headed for the woods.

Riding along the path, he tried to make sense of Jenny’s behavior.
What was she running from? Or rather, who?

As evening came, the women gathered around the bonfire. Before Preacher Gilbert began the sermon, Jenny took her place beside the other women. She gazed into the crowd, amazed that a large following had gathered on such short notice. Her eyes swept over the people and came to fix on
Nicholas
. She gasped when he stepped forward.

Gilbert approached her. He glanced from her to Nicholas. “Do you know this man, Jennifer?”