Untangle Me (26 page)

Did I want him to take that chance? I’d be heartbroken if someone ripped him from my life. I couldn’t let that happen to him.

“I’ll lend you the money to pay it.”

“No, Sophia. It’s too much money. You’ve already done so much for me,” he said.

“Kayden, we’re a team. If you go to jail what good would that do me? I’d be lost without you. I’ll make the payment and when you get your job back soon, you can pay me back.” Sounded reasonable to me, I just prayed he would accept.

He seemed to be thinking about my proposition. He always thought so carefully about everything before answering my questions when they dealt with money. He rested his head in the palms of his hands, rubbing his eyes slowly. “Okay, Sophia. Just this one payment, as soon as I’m back to work I’ll pay you for everything.” He blew out a breath; he looked physically pained by accepting my money.

I didn’t have much money, but I had enough to help Kayden through this time. We were a team and I know he would have done the same for me. He didn’t like to ask for help or rely on anyone but himself.

We drove to the grocery store and purchased a money order to send in to the probation department. He’d notified his probation officer weeks ago about work, but he didn’t seem too sympathetic; I’m sure he hears a load of bullshit every day. I filled out the money order for two reasons, I didn’t want them to think Kayden had the means to pay, and mostly because I wanted that bitch to see my name on the check. I wanted her to know that he’s mine, and only mine. She had no claim on him, no pull over him anymore. I wanted her to choke when she opened the envelope.

I knew he had a deep love for her before I met him. When we first started chatting and he’d sworn off women, he was still in love with her. He was mad at her, yes, but they had still seen each other after his arrest. They carried on for months before he left for New Orleans. She even flew there to visit him. She had power over him. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say she worried me at times. Would he leave me for her when this was all over? Sometimes we forget the past when the love is strong enough. Was I pretty enough, good enough in bed or wild enough for him? I was a boring school librarian that led life on the straight and narrow. He was the rebel, always doing things against the norm and breaking rules.

A week later the bitch crawled out of the woodwork, she finally received her money.

“Lisa sent me a message today. She received the restitution payment,” he said, as I walked through the door after work.

“When did she send the message?” I asked Kayden.

“It was on my phone when I woke up,” he replied.

“What did she say?” I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

Kayden handed me the phone and the message was on the screen.

Tammy: Your girlfriend pays your restitution? My boyfriend paid for my boob job, a new car, and a cruise. Don’t be a douchebag. You’ve done enough to my family and me. Stop being hateful Kayden.

That’s the pot calling the kettle black.
She was so vile and hateful. I didn’t bat an eyelash when I filled out the money order; I knew it would piss her off and hopefully drive a dagger through her blackened heart. I felt satisfied in this moment.

Viper

Lisa must have felt guilty about her message regarding the restitution, because she messaged me the next day.
What the fuck was I going to do about her?
She wouldn’t leave me alone. I always knew she wasn’t mentally balanced, but I thought she’d forget about me and move the fuck on.

How was I supposed to handle the barrage of messages and her begging me to come back? I didn’t want the bitch, but she just didn’t seem to get the hint. I couldn’t ignore her messages anymore, even though that’s what Sophia asked me to do. I needed to get this rotten bitch out of my life; she needed to understand she meant nothing to me.

Tammy: Kayden I miss you terribly. I’m sorry I called you names… you know I didn’t mean it.

Her mental stability had always been questionable during out relationship, but since my arrest, it had been answered in my mind. She was bat shit crazy.

Me: You’re good at acting first and then claiming you didn’t mean it later, Lisa. I thought you ruined my life forever, but then Sophia rescued me. She is everything you’re not.

Tammy: You can’t really love her, Kayden. You said you’d be mine forever.

Me: That love died a long time ago. You made sure to stomp on my heart, but you didn’t kill my capacity to love.

Tammy: Do you still have my name tattooed on you?

I looked down at my finger, her name in faded gray ink across my ring finger. She talked me into it, wanted me to prove my love.

Me: No.

Tammy: Liar. I saw a picture of you on your Facebook page and I could still see it on your finger. You wouldn’t have my name on you if you didn’t still love me.

Me: You made me get it, Lisa. You hounded me for weeks. It’s faded and small, and I’m working on getting it removed. I don’t want a daily reminder of you.

Tammy: How can you be so cruel? We’re meant to be together. You can’t deny destiny.

How can I be so cruel?
She’s such a whacko bitch. Can she be serious? I was the one arrested and lost everything to my name. I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me.

Me: You’re delusional. We are through and have been for over a year. Move on. Leave me alone. I love Sophia.

Tammy: You’ll see you’re wrong. You can’t possibly believe what you say. We had amazing passion and chemistry.

Me: Chemistry and passion? It was more lust and mind games. I’m done Lisa. Leave me alone… us alone.

Tammy: We’ll never be through Kayden
.

Sophia would be furious if she knew I responded to Lisa. She worried that Lisa would take the conversations to my probation officer and have me arrested, but I knew Lisa better than that. If I went to jail, she wouldn’t get another fucking dime from me. Lisa only cared about money, always did and always fucking would. For now the harassment that I endured through instant messenger would stay my secret, for the sake of my relationship with Sophia.

My hope vanished. I’m fucking crushed. The background company completed their assessment and deemed me high risk for the company. I worked my ass off for that company, seven days a week for months. No one in my local office was willing to make a call to corporate to help.
Fuck them. What
in the hell am I going to do now? I owed Sophia money, lived in company housing, and had a fucked up criminal record. Would anyone hire me?

It’s a black mark in my life that I can’t escape… until my probation is complete. The judge did say that my record would be cleared. I needed to find something, anything, to pay the remaining restitution and permanently wipe her from my life.

I spent the next month applying every place imaginable; job application after fucking job application, what a pain in the ass. Every single one wanted to know about my criminal record and I answered honestly, but I knew I was doomed as soon as I hit send. I wish I could grab this shitty black cloud following me around and piss on it.

Another payment was due and I swallowed my pride, placing a call to my probation officer. He didn’t seem to believe me, but said that he would give me extra time. I needed to get proof of my termination and send it to him. I needed to submit a list of companies I had applied to, to show him I wasn’t just sitting on my ass avoiding paying that bitch back.

The holidays were closing in fast and all I wanted was a drink. Every day was a struggle for me, it called to me, every fucking day, it called to me. I needed to work; the idleness of my life had become mind numbing.

So much in my life was up in the air. Would I be able stay in Florida with Sophia? I couldn’t return to New Orleans without a job in place. I tried to live in the present and not worry about the future as Sophia had asked.

She told me, “Everything has a way of working out in the end.” I loved her for her optimism and blinders when it came to the harsh reality of the legal system.