Until Now (Not Yet #2) (12 page)

I had Finn.

I grabbed Dean’s hands and held them in my own. His big body shook. I wasn’t sure if it was from anger, sadness, or both, but seeing him absorb my pain left me weak in the knees.

“You don’t have siblings? Aunts or uncles that you could go to? Grandparents?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Josh and I were only children. My grandparents died years ago, and I’m not close to any aunts or uncles. It was just me.”

“How did you? What did you? Fuck, Red. I’ve got to sit down.” Dean walked over to the couch, and I went back to the kitchen, returning with the wine bottle and our two glasses. I refilled both and handed him one.

He took a long drink. “I’m not really a wine guy. I drink a fuck lotta beer though.” I laughed, and his face relaxed. “This stuff’s not half bad.”

I sipped my wine and nodded. “I can’t afford to buy any alcohol, so this is a treat. I’m not going to lie—it’s real helpful to have wine to drink when I’m telling this story.”

Dean took a deep breath and then another long drink before placing his glass on the coffee table. “What happened after they kicked you out?”

“I took charge of my life. I had no choice. I packed up my stuff and took a bus to IU. As soon as I got here, I met with the Dean of Undergraduate Affairs and explained my story. It helped that I already had a full ride to IU on a business scholarship. I was able to change my living arrangements and get this apartment in the family-housing section of campus.”

Dean held one of my hands in between both of his. “I didn’t know there was a family section until I met you.”

“There aren’t many students with babies here, but at least there was a place for us to go. This apartment building is also open year-round, so for a small fee I could stay in the summer. The Dean helped me apply for placement at IU’s Early Childhood Center for daycare as well. I was due in late September, so we figured out that I could take a few online courses during my fall semester so that I could qualify for housing. Finn started daycare in the spring, and I returned to school full time. It’s taken me an extra year to get enough credits, but I’ll graduate this May.” My chin tilted up, and I smiled. I was damn proud of that fact. I would graduate, and I would be able to take care of my son.

“Holy shit.” Dean sat back on the couch and whistled. “Girl, I knew you were something, but hell, Red. That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.” He leaned forward and cupped his hands around my face, kissing the corners of my lips and resting his forehead against mine. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

Those dang tears were back, pricking at my eyes.

“How have you gotten the money you needed? Loans?” Dean’s voice was soft. He rubbed his nose on mine, and my body lit up. I was drained from telling my story, but I needed the contact and connection that only Dean gave me.

“Mmm-hmm. I have a small student loan for emergencies. Mostly I get money for daycare and expenses from working at Maria’s.” I pulled back and asked, “Have you met Sylvie?”

Dean laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Umm, yes. She told me to stay the hell away from you.”

“She’s overprotective.” I giggled. “She owns Maria’s. I applied for a job there as soon as I put my boxes down in my apartment. Sylvie took me under her wing. She has always arranged my work schedule around my classes. She shopped with me at thrift stores for baby stuff and clothes. She’s even babysat Finn for me.” I smiled and played with Dean’s long fingers, tangling them with my small ones.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he narrowed his eyes. “Was she with you when Finn was born?”

I held my breath for a second. “No. I was alone. But then I had Finn, and I was never alone again.”

Dean closed his eyes and breathed out a curse. “I’m sorry you were by yourself when Finn came into the world. But I’m happy you’ve had a friend like Sylvie.”

“Sylvie has been a true godsend. She sends me home with food every day. We would never have made it without her.” I raised our entwined hands and kissed the back of Dean’s hand.

He stiffened. “I’ve seen you leaving with a big bag. That’s your and Finn’s food?” He swallowed hard, and I frowned.

“Don’t start feeling sorry for me, Dean. The point is we’ve made it. Finn and I have made it all by ourselves. And with Sylvie’s help. Heck, she’d be here for holiday dinners too, but she goes to visit her sister, Maria, in Florida.” I smiled and rubbed my finger along Dean’s furrowed eyebrow. “Stop worrying. We’re fine.”

Dean growled and flipped me onto my back, his hands behind my head to cradle me. “You gotta stop saying ‘fine.’ I get it, Red. I get that you’re taking care of yourself and Finn. But you gotta know what hearing all this does to me. I don’t want you to just be
fine
. I want to hurt people, make them pay for what they’ve said to you. I want to shake the shit out of anyone who missed the chance to see you as a mom and to love that little dude.” He kissed along my jaw and up my cheek, over to my mouth. “Mostly, though, I want to kiss you all over and show you how much more than
fine
I think you are.”

I took off my now smudged-with-tears glasses and put them on the table next to the wine. “Mmmmm, follow your instincts, football god. Let’s go with the last option. Kiss away.”

Dean chuckled and brought his mouth to mine, our tongues twisting and tangling together. We kissed and kissed, stopping to suck on a lip or neck only so we could catch our breath.

“Dean.” I threw my head back, giving him unfettered access to my neck. His tongue dragged up, and my core clenched. I was trembling again but this time with desire.

“Hmm?” Dean murmured into my skin, and I laughed. He picked up his head, and his eyes twinkled. I was so glad to see the anger had melted from them.

I dragged my hands through his sandy-blond hair, and he placed his chin on my chest, looking up at me. “I want you to spend the night with me.” Dean jolted and sat up. I moved and sat cross-legged next to him. “But not tonight. I’m not sure where we’d sleep. The couch is too small.” I laughed, but Dean’s face was stone at the reminder of my bed. I kissed his lips and stroked his jaw. “I also need to talk to Finn and tell him that we’re dating. I mean… are we? Dating? I didn’t mean to pressure you—”

Dean cut me off with a kiss so deep my toes curled. “Fuck, yes. To it all. I want to date, but I want more. I want you to be my girl. I mean l already feel like you are. Jesus.” Dean ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. “I’ve always been kind of smooth around the ladies, Red. Just ask my buddies.” He cupped my face with one hand. “But around you, I’m lost. I can’t find the right words, and I feel like an idiot.”

I opened my mouth to argue his point, but he stopped me with another kiss. “Talk to Finn when you’re ready. I’ll spend the night the minute you think it’s a good idea. You lead here, Red. I’ll follow.” He bit my bottom lip and pulled it out, sucking it into his mouth before letting it go. “In this instance. But in other ways—” He dragged his other hand down, lightly skimming my breast. “I’m in charge.”

Chapter Thirteen

Dean

GRACE SHUDDERED, AND her eyes fluttered closed. She licked her lips and nodded. “Yes.”

“Grace?” My voice was rough, and my dick was as hard as steel. She opened her eyes, and her lips parted slightly. “I won’t spend the night, but I want to make you feel good before I go.”

Grace’s face flushed, and she gave me a small smile. “Hold on one minute.” She stood up and ran to Finn’s room. I took the time to get myself the fuck together.

I had never in all my years heard anything like I heard tonight. Grace was the most special person I had ever known. I felt like a beast had been unleashed inside my body. Like King Fucking Kong, I would trample anyone who ever tried to hurt her again. I wanted to scoop her little body into my arms and care for her. I brought my fist to my mouth. This was so foreign to me—caring about a girl, protecting a girl.

And protecting a little dude too.

I looked up and saw Grace standing in front of me. She unwrapped her bun and let her long hair hang free down her back. My breathing stopped as she pulled off her sweater, leaving her in only a small lace bra and jeans.

“Holy fuck, Red.” My dick swelled even harder, and I had to adjust myself as I stood up. Her little giggle made me smile. Seeing Red happy, especially after what she just told me, was fucking fantastic.

I stood in front of her and pulled off my shirt. My chest heaved as I watched the creamy skin on her neck and chest turn pink. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Grace reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Her beautiful breasts were bared to me, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward and cupping them in my hands.

“Dean,” Grace gasped, and I lowered my mouth, sucking on each nipple. Her hands shot out and held on to my arms, clutching me as she threw her head back with a long sigh.

I placed kisses down her chest, down her belly, stopping at the button of her jeans. I raised my head, and she nodded, her breaths coming faster and faster. I unclasped her jeans and pushed them down and off her legs. Sitting back on my heels, I took in the sight of her tiny white lace underwear.

“Jesus. You’re gorgeous.” She closed her eyes, and I kissed her hips and then lower, on top of her panties, and she moaned.

“I have to sit, Dean. I’m going to fall. I want you so much I’m shaking.” Grace’s breathy voice was going to be the end of me. I stood up and scooped her into my arms.

I lay her on the sofa and pulled that little scrap of lace down and off her legs. She raised up on her elbows to watch me. I dragged my fingers down her, and she bit her lip. Watching her watching me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. If I wasn’t real careful, I was absolutely going to come in my pants.

I rubbed my fingers around her in circles and then slipped one inside. Her back arched off the couch with a low moan. “Dean…” She breathed out, and I placed my palm on her hip to hold her steady.

When I brought my lips to her and sucked, her whole body went rigid. I looked up, and her eyes were half-lidded, her breathing rapid.

“Oh my God. Yes, Dean. Oh, God yes.” My fingers continued their movements, and my tongue circled, my entire fixation on bringing this woman pleasure.

Her hands found my hair, and she held on to my head as her eyes closed and her mouth dropped open in a long, guttural moan. Her body thrashed as she came, and I held her, slowly touching and stroking until she calmed.

When she opened her eyes, drowsy with lust, I sat back and took her in. She was a goddess. I wanted to treasure her. Bringing a woman pleasure and expecting nothing in return was something I had never experienced. Until her.

Grace crawled into my lap, her naked body wrapped around mine. “Dean? I don’t know what to say. Nobody has ever… done that… and I… I really, really…” She looked up and giggled. “I mean, I really liked that.” She ran her fingers up my neck and into my hair. “Let me take care of you too.”

I held her tighter to me and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around the two of us. “Not tonight, baby. Soon, I promise.”

She lifted her head, and her eyebrows pinched together. “Why? I want to make you feel good.”

I gently pressed her head back against my chest and ran my hands down her hair. “Grace, I’m not sure how to say this right, but I’m gonna try.” I kissed the top of her head, and her body relaxed against me. “I listened tonight to your pain, and your struggle, and your love. And what I needed to do was to take care of you and you alone. Nothing for me. Just for you. ’Cause, Red? Nobody’s done that for you in your whole life.”

She looked up at me, tears filling up those beautiful green eyes. She’d shed enough tears for a lifetime. The time had come for someone to have her back and to take care of her.

“Until now. Until me. I’m going to keep on taking care of you because nobody has ever deserved it more than you.”

I kissed her lips and held her to me. I’d leave in a little while and make it to my apartment before the sun was up.

And then I’d be back in the morning with donuts. All their favorites.

Because these two people had quickly become mine.

Chapter Fourteen

Grace

“SIT DOWN GIRL, and have some pie.” Sylvie motioned for me to join her at the booth by the front door. The diner was empty, lunch rush over, and I had a few hours before I needed to pick up Finn.

I sat down across from her, and she poured me a cup of coffee. I sipped and rested my chin on my hand.

“How are you?” Sylvie cut a huge piece of cherry pie and placed it on a plate.

My chest warmed. Anytime we weren’t busy, Sylvie made me rest and checked up on me. She treated me like a daughter, and I loved that about her.

I needed that from her.

“I’m good, Sylvie.” I forked a bite of cherry pie into my mouth and moaned. Sylvie’s pies were heavenly.

Sylvie sipped her black coffee, eyes narrowed in my direction. “What’s going on with that boy? The tall blond? Kind of obnoxious?”

I laughed and wiped my mouth with a napkin. “I thought Dean was obnoxious too for a while. But he’s… not. He’s… special.” I wanted to say more, but that might be rushing things. She would worry more than she normally did, and I never wanted that.

Sylvie pursed her lips. “I bet he’s special, girl. That’s what worries me. Is he special all over town?”

I smiled and nodded. “I know. I worried about that too. But I don’t think so. I don’t know why, but he seems to like…
me
.” I emphasized the last word like it was a foreign concept.

Sylvie’s head jerked. “Of course he likes you. Grace, you’re one of a kind. There’s nobody like you. I see the other girls your age, gigglin’ like fools, drinkin’ beer, and spendin’ their daddies’ money. Not you. Hard workin’, lovin’ your son, takin’ care of your business. He’d be a fool not to see that and want someone like you in his life.”

I swallowed hard. I thanked God every day for bringing Sylvie into my life. “I don’t know…”