Until Series: Box set (89 page)

“No,” I whisper, looking at myself in the mirror. This all feels like I’m living a bad dream.

*

Cash

“How much fucking
longer are they going to keep her in there?” I roar; the rage inside of me is burning so brightly I could explode.

“Son, you need to calm down.”

“Calm down? Fuck that! Dad, she has been in jail for a week now!” I shout. It’s killing me having her away from me and the kids, and worse, knowing that she’s in jail, when she of all people should never even know what the inside of a jail cell looks like.

“Son, you going off half-cocked isn’t going to help anyone, and it especially will not help Lilly right now.”

“Dad, you and I both know that Lilly is not built to be in a place like that with real criminals,” I tell him, something he already knows. Yesterday when I went to see her, I could see it in her face that she was exhausted. I knew my dad was doing everything in his power to keep her away from the general population, but he could only do so much, and his friends could only do so much without making it look like favoritism, risking all of their jobs.

“Cash, I promise you I’m doing everything in my power to get her out of there.”

“I know.” I sit down in one of my parents’ lawn chairs. “Did they get the video from the check cashing place?” I ask him.

“It’s being reviewed now,” he tells me, sitting down across from me.

“When will they know something?” I ask, dropping my head forward. I hate this.

“I’m not sure, son,” my dad says quietly. I lift my head to look at him.

“I need her, Dad. I feel like I can’t breathe.” I scrub my hands over my face. “I feel like I’m dying inside.” I look at my wedding band, rubbing my thumb over the shiny piece of jewelry. “Her parents are going to be here today. I have to take the kids with me to go pick them up. Her mom and dad are going to have a lot of questions—questions I don’t have answers for.”

“I will come with you. The kids can stay with your mom. You and I will go to the airport and pick them up.”

“Thanks,” I say, not looking up at him. I have already failed Lilly as her husband.
What kind of man lets his woman go to jail? I don’t deserve her.
“I have never deserved her.”

“Hey, none of that feeling sorry for yourself bullshit,” my dad says, and I realize I must have spoken out loud.

“It’s the truth,” I tell him.

“You’re probably right. You probably don’t deserve her, but she’s yours, and I raised you to be a good man, a strong man, and a man worthy of a good woman’s love.” He stands and pats my shoulder. “You need to be strong for her and those two little ones.” I know he’s right, and I won’t let my kids be touched by what’s going on, but it doesn’t make it any easier to look at myself in the mirror. The worst part is that Jules is claiming me to be an unfit parent, and at this point, the judge is considering joint custody due to her claims about my wife—though Jules has been
gracious
enough to tell me that if I left Lil, she would be willing to let things be. I let her know where to shove that idea. There were no forces on this Earth strong enough to tear me away from Lilly. Just because I wasn’t good enough for her doesn’t mean I would ever give her up.

“I got it,” Nico says the second he steps through the sliding glass doors.

“Please tell me that it’s good,” I say and stand up.

“We need to talk,” he says.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I want to see what’s on the tape,” I say, sliding open the door he just came through.

“Wait, we need to talk for a second before I put this in,” Nico says, grabbing my elbow.

“What? You have a tape that proves that Lil is innocent and you want me to wait?”

“No, I want to make sure that you know that no matter what’s on this tape, we’ve got your back.”

“Jesus, you still don’t trust her,” I whisper in disgust. I haven’t even thought once that she may not be innocent. I know that she didn’t do what she is being accused of.

“Did I say that I didn’t believe her?” Nico asks, shaking his head. “Dude, I know she didn’t fucking do it. The thing I want you to prepare yourself for is
what else
is on this tape.”

“What does that mean?”

“You will see, but know that we’ve all got your back.” I lift my chin, wondering what the fuck is on the tape, feeling like I don’t even want to know at this point. We walk into my parents’ house where the kids and I have been staying since she got placed in jail. I don’t want to be home without her, and I know that with us staying at my parents’ they seem to have fewer questions about where she is. That doesn’t mean that when bedtime, bath time or any time that they normally spend with her during the day comes along they don’t cry for her or look around waiting for her. That’s the part that kills me. I hate seeing that lost look on my kids’ faces. It has been bad enough dealing with the look on Jax’s face over the past couple years when his mother doesn’t show up. But now it’s worse knowing that if Lil had it her way, she would be with them. This isn’t something that she is choosing to do. “You ready for this?”

“Put it in,” I tell him. He sets up the video and my dad comes into the room, taking a seat in his old recliner. I sit on the couch and wait for the blank screen to light up.

“All right, now, the first part of the tape is all garbage, just normal people cashing their checks. Then around two, something interesting happens,” Nico says, and I watch the screen go black.

“What the fuck did you do to the tape?” I stand up.

“I didn’t do anything.” He shrugs like it’s all the same to him, and then stands as well. “So I’m guessing that you didn’t catch it, huh?”

“Catch what?” I growl. “I’m not in the mood for your fucking games.”

“I’m going to play it again; calm your tits.” He smiles. “This time, pay close attention to what happens right before the screen goes black. He presses play again, and this time I stare at the screen so hard that I feel like my eyes are going to dry out, but right before the screen goes black, I catch it.

“You have got to be fucking with me.” I take a breath and then another, trying to squelch the urge to find a gun and put a bullet in someone’s brain.

“I guess you caught it that time,” Nico says smiling.

“I’m going to fucking kill her,” I say, my hands fisting at my sides.

“Now, son,” Dad says, and I hear him, but I couldn’t fucking care less right now.

“I’m going to fucking kill the bitch,” I repeat.

“Cash, son, I need you to calm down and think about this.”

“She has done it again. She has fucked with my life again.” I close my eyes, images of Lilly when I first met her flashing in my mind—how the love we had for each other back then could have grown, and how lucky I am to have it now. Images of Ashlyn come next, everything I missed with her, all the moments I will never get back. Then Jax, and how my son has suffered having her as a mother. How until Lilly, he never knew what it was like to have a mother who loved him completely. Yes, I’m going to kill the bitch. “Where the fuck is she?” I ask, looking at Nico. Now he has Sophie, he should know the anguish I’m feeling.

“Jules doesn’t know I have this tape,” Nico says. “I say we call the lawyer and have him get this tape admitted into evidence, then Lilly can finally get her chance in front of the judge. Hopefully, he will look at this and realize he has the wrong person and let her go.

“Yeah, but that’s not a lot of evidence proving her innocence,” I realize and speak out loud.

“They took writing samples from Lilly that say that she is not the one who wrote those checks. The evidence against her is not solid, so maybe with the tape and the other evidence we can get her home. All the rest can be worked out after that.”

“Jules needs to go down for this shit.”

“And she will, but first, let’s get Lilly home.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Look, you go with Dad to pick up her parents, and I will get this to the lawyer.”

“Thanks, man,” I say to Nico.

“You would do the same for me,” he says before leaving. I sit back down, scrubbing my hands over my face.

“You want me to go get her parents?” my dad asks.

“Nah, I need to get out of the house.” I stand, and after we say goodbye to the kids, we head out to my dad’s truck.

After we pick up Lilly’s parents from the airport, the lawyer calls and tells me Lilly has seen the judge, and he is releasing her on bail. The tension that had been weighing heavily in the car since we picked up her parents disappears with that one call. I have never felt such a sense of relief in my life. Now I just pray Nico finds a way to clear her name completely. I also want Jules to go down for what she did.

I drop Lilly’s parents off at the house. Yes, I know they want to see their daughter, and the kids want to see her too, but I don’t give a fuck. I need her to myself for at least a little while.

Lilly

I
look down
at the sudsy water I’m washing dishes in, enjoying doing something so normal. I missed being home the last week. Jail is scary and lonely, and I never want to go back to that place. The second I was free, I ran to Cash and cried into his chest. I missed his smell and the way I felt when he held me. I missed our kids too, and couldn’t wait to be home with them. On the way home, Cash explained to me about Jules and what happened with her. No one has been able to find her yet, but I hope they catch her soon. I need to know why she did it. I look up from the soapy water and out the window. The kids had been playing in the tree house, but have now disappeared. I don’t think much about it until twenty minutes later when I realize I haven’t heard anything from them for a while. Since I got home, they have been coming in to check if I’m still here every ten minutes or so. I step out the backdoor into the yard. It’s completely quiet out here, not even the sound of leaves moving with the wind.

I walk around the side of the house to see if maybe the kids are there playing…but nothing. I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and that’s when I take off running. I look everywhere and I can’t find them. I run back towards the house, trying to catch my breath. “Where are the kids?” I run into the house screaming. “I can’t find the kids anywhere! They were out back playing in the tree house. I had been watching them through the window above the kitchen sink. Then they disappeared. I thought that they had decided to play along the side of the house, but I wanted to check on them to make sure they were okay when I didn’t hear anything for a few minutes.” I know I’m rambling, but I feel sick, and I know I’m going to have a break down.

“They’re outside honey,” my mom says, and I start shaking my head, clutching at my throat, trying to rip the words out but I can’t speak.

“Breathe, baby,” Cash says, concerned. His arms are around me, but I push him away; he needs to go look for the kids.

“Th-they’re not there!” I take a huge gulp of air. “I can’t find them anywhere!” My dad is the first to move. He is up off the couch and heading out the backdoor. Cash looks me over before handing me off to my mom, and then he follows my dad.

“It’s going to be okay. They’re kids, honey. I used to lose you all the time,” Mom tells me, trying to lighten the mood. Any other time I would have laughed, but not now. I get up and head towards the bedrooms, checking each one, but they are nowhere to be found. A few minutes later, I hear police sirens and my stomach drops. My worst nightmare is becoming a reality. When I get outside, Cash and my dad are talking to James. A few minutes pass and the whole yard is full of people. My mom holds me next to her as we listen to the guys plan out a search party. No one knows where they are, so they all split up.

*

Jax

I always wanted
a little brother, but got stuck with a little sister. We are playing hide-and-seek, and when I’m getting ready to find her like I always do, I see someone pulling her into a truck. I’m scared, but my dad always says that it’s my job to keep her safe because I’m her big brother. So I climb into the back of it and lay down, hiding under a tarp.

*