Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) (29 page)

He looked at her and shook his head. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t wanna put a damper on our night.”

“Of course you should have said something. You can tell me anything, Sean.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “I’m sorry I got all quiet. I was just surprised.”

“You don’t have to say anything. It was awful and sad and it happened. It’s our reality, and we’re doing our best to move on.”

“I’m so sorry.”

He pressed his lips together.

She released his hand and leaned back in her chair. “You said you’ve been having trouble with Ashley. Is it about her mom?”

He nodded. “She’s acting out in ways I can’t understand or control.”

“Like?”

“These kids she’s been spending time with are bad news. Some are older than her. I’ve got these teenaged boys calling her all the time. They’re the partiers, the kind who get into trouble. I’m worried. Really worried.”

“I know that type.” Michelle cleared her throat. “I
was
that type.”

He covered his face with his hands and rubbed his forehead. “I’m sorry, Michelle. I didn’t think.”

“I’m not offended. It’s who I was then. Am I proud of it? No. But I can’t change it.”

“I keep thinking maybe I should leave Chicago. Get her out of there.”

Michelle thought about that day in the kitchen when her family did the same to her. “She’ll fight you. Every step of the way.”

He let out a deep breath.

“That’s what I did,” she continued. “But coming here to Cornerstone was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Because you met me, right?” He grinned.

“Right.” She smiled.

He leaned back in his chair and looked at her.

“Ashley’s gonna be OK, Sean. I can tell she has a great dad, who loves her more than anything. A dad who’s there for her and won’t let her go down the same path I did.”

His eyes softened.

“That’s how I know she’ll be OK.”

He shook his head in disbelief like he had at the basketball game. “I can’t believe you’re sitting across from me right now.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Thank you,” he spoke softly.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, you did.”

When they had finished an order of cheese fries, they walked along the sidewalk together, and he took her hand.

She smiled at him as a tingling sensation made its way up her arm.

“Deja vu,” he said as they walked past Miller — formerly her dorm, now her place of employment.

“Well, if we’re making the rounds to all the places of the past …” She tugged him toward the entrance of the building and stopped near where they had stood all those years ago after their talk on the beach. She could almost hear Jill and Darcy yelling “Three second rule!” out their dorm room window.

He faced her and took both of her hands. “This is surreal.”

She nodded.

He let go with one hand and pushed a hair back from her face. “You’re still just as beautiful as you were back then.” His thumb trailed along the curve of her jaw. His eyes met hers, and he stared as if in a trance.

Her pulse picked up, and a breath caught in her throat.

His gaze found her lips.

She squeezed his hand, which seemed to bring him out of it.

He grinned at her and turned back toward the parking lot, leading her by the hand.

“Surreal,” she agreed.

20

It seemed like a dream. In the morning, she awoke and actually believed for a moment that it had been. But when she walked out of her bedroom and spotted the flowers he gave her, she knew it was real.

In all the years since Sean left school, she never imagined they would run into each other again or that he would be a widower. She couldn’t fathom suffering that kind of loss, grieving the death of a spouse, all while trying to raise two children.

At her desk on Monday morning, she heard the muffled ring of her cell phone in her purse. She retrieved it quickly and answered.

“This is Michelle.”

“You miss me, don’t you?”

A huge smile spread across her face at the sound of Sean’s voice. “You know the answer to that.”

A soft laugh came as his reply.

She closed her eyes, remembering those same greetings spoken to each other years ago.

“I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Sean.”

“I don’t think you realize how much you helped me.”

She didn’t know what to say.

The phone at her desk rang. “Hold on a second.” She answered the work phone and forwarded it to the proper extension. “I’m back.”

“Sorry. You’re working. Can I call you again later?”

“You can call me any time you want.” It came out more flirty than intended.

“OK. Three a.m. it is then.”

He made her laugh. She needed more laughter in her life.

They talked on the phone every night after that. Long, easy conversations about life, memories, his children, even his wife sometimes. Short, quick recaps if they’d had a long day. Though they grew closer over the phone, there had been no discussion of making their friendship into anything more than that. With each conversation, she liked him more and more, and she grew to despise the physical distance between them. She wanted to see him again, but she wanted him to bring it up first.

“I hate not being able to see you when we talk,” Sean said during one Thursday evening phone call.

“We could Skype.”

“I don’t even know what that is,” he admitted.

She laughed at his lack of technical know-how. “I think your kids know more about computers than you do.”

“That’s a fact.”

“Aaron can set it up for you.” She was sure Sean’s son could get the job done.

“I’d rather have you here.”

“Oh, yeah?” She literally crossed her fingers, hoping he would ask to see her.

“Will you come visit us?”

Yes!
She was ecstatic, but did her best to sound calm. “I might be able to arrange that.”

“Good.”
 

“I’ll call my mom and let her know I’m coming.”

“I want you to stay with us.”

This filled her with unease. “Are you sure? What about your kids? Will they really want some strange lady staying in their house?”

“Well, you are kind of strange,” he teased.

“Hey!”

“It’ll be fine. If you get here and you’re not comfortable with it, you can stay at my brother’s or go to your mom’s.”

She hesitated a moment longer, then gave the reply she already knew she would give. “OK. When?”

“The sooner the better.”

The tone in his voice brought a flush to her cheeks. “I’m on my way.” She tried to sound sexy, but she was sure it came off as silly instead.

He gifted her with that great laugh of his. “See you in a few hours then.”

If it wasn’t for her job, she would have been out the door and in her car in ten seconds flat. Instead, they planned for her to visit over Easter weekend.

“I’m not so sure about this,” Michelle told Janice at church on Sunday.

“Why are you so worried?” Janice’s forehead crinkled with concern.

“I mean, it’s Sean, for one thing. I’ve thought about him so many times over the years, and now he’s back in my life. But he lost his wife, and he’s grieving … and he’s got kids.” Although she was excited to see Sean again, she was very nervous about spending time with his kids. She didn’t want them to feel like she was trying to step in and take their mother’s place or steal their father’s attention away.

“And?”

“Kids!”

Janice grinned at her. “What is your point?”

“Here I am, this stranger from their dad’s past coming into their home, messing up their life.” She was overreacting and she knew it, but the whole thing was freaking her out more than she had anticipated.

Janice put her arm around Michelle. “That’s how it goes sometimes. Whether it’s because of a death or a divorce, people move on and find new love in their life, and the kids have to deal with that. And there is no way you are gonna mess up their life. You could only make it better, because you’re you, and you’re special and wonderful.”

Michelle grinned at her friend, but it quickly faded. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They will,” Janice assured her.

“But what if they don’t?”

“Michelle, I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Like what?”

“So unsure of yourself. Like your whole life’s happiness all comes down to whether or not these kids like you.”

“Maybe it does.”

Janice shook her head. “Only God can bring you happiness. Don’t worry. It will all work out.”

Michelle nodded, but she wasn’t so sure.

“Sean inviting you into their home is a big deal. I get that. But he wants you there, and I have a feeling you’re gonna win those kids over.”

“I hope you’re right.” She wished she had Janice’s confidence.

“You know I’m always right.” Janice gave her a wink.

The sermon went in one ear and out the other. Michelle couldn’t focus on the pastor’s words. All she could think about was what in the world she would have in common with a couple of kids. She pictured terrible scenarios, where they both hated her and made the trip miserable. If she didn’t get along with them, would Sean still want her in his life? How could that possibly work if the kids didn’t like her?

Before she left the church, Janice gave her a hug and a knowing glance. “Stop worrying.”

If only she could.

21

The closer she got to the suburbs, the more nervous she became. Was it too soon for her to be visiting him? They hadn’t talked about their relationship status yet. But why would he invite her if he didn’t think this was going somewhere? Their time together in college had been brief, but neither of them could deny that there was still something between them. Nervousness mingled with excitement. She couldn’t wait to spend more time with him. She cared about him so much. She always had.
 

In the weeks since they had reconnected, she caught herself smiling often. She couldn’t help it. For so long, she thought Simon was the one she was supposed to be with, but when that didn’t work out, she feared God might want her to be alone. Deep down in her heart, she desired to find love. But she also desired to please God and was prepared to accept singleness if that was what He wanted for her. So when Sean came back into her life, she couldn’t help but smile at the way God worked things out sometimes. She didn’t know for certain if Sean was the one God meant for her. Not yet. But she was filled with hope for the future.