Unveiling The Sky (18 page)

“But she never went back,” Alara said softly.

I stared at her hard, trying to keep my eyes from tearing. “No, she never went back.”

She worried her lip as her eyes returned to her menu. Maude returned a few minutes later and took our orders before running to the front to tend to a large group.

“Gabe?”

“Yeah?” I asked and looked up to see her twisting and ripping her napkin into tiny pieces.
 

“Can I ask you something?”

“’Course.”

She cleared her throat before smoothing out the scraps in front of her. “Why are you working at the bar? I mean not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just remember you telling me about being in school and… well, do you not feel ready to get back to your old life? Is this all just… temporary?” Her eyes clouded as she said the last word.

I ran my hand through my hair and gripped the back of my neck.

“I’m sorry. If that’s too personal you don’t have to answer—”

“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head and leaned my elbows on the table so I was closer to her. “It doesn’t feel like my life anymore, it almost feels like a dream, actually. I did all that stuff just because I was told to. I never loved it, but I didn’t hate it either, and I guess I just never realized the difference.”

“You know, they say you’re not supposed to make big life changes after you’ve suffered a loss.” She was saying all the things Miranda and my dad had said to me, but it wasn’t pissing me off. Actually, it was doing quite the opposite. It sent relief through me, because I was pretty sure the only reason Alara was so pushy was because she wanted to know she wasn’t temporary. She wanted to know she could have me in her life.

I nodded before leaning back and stretching my legs under the table, lightly bumping hers. “Yeah, I know. But that’s not what this is. Maybe when I first left it was, but now… almost a year later, I still don’t feel like I made a mistake. I still feel like I’d be sleepwalking through my life, and I can’t do that anymore. Not when my mother was so passionate about life, not when all she ever wanted was for me to be happy. Not just settled, but happy. It’s kind of like you and your chemistry degree—you’re not really sure where it will take you, but right now it’s making you happy and that’s all that matters, yeah?”

Her green eyes lit with understanding as she whispered, “Yeah.”

“And right now the bar is making me happy. I don’t really need anything else; I’ll take things one day at a time.”

She cleared her throat, looking nervous once again. “Can I ask a follow-up question?”

I grinned. “You can ask me anything, Alara.”

“Is Miranda included in this philosophy? Of not going back to what didn’t make you truly happy?”

“Yeah. She was one of my best friends growing up, but we grew up differently. I never really noticed because I let my thoughts fall in line with my father’s, and so she never realized there was this huge gap between us. But once my mom got sick nothing was the same. She got sick and it was like a switch turned on inside me. There was no gradual realization that that life wasn’t the one I wanted. It was instantaneous, and so all I could do was pretend while she was still alive. But it got harder to pretend. And when we buried her, I knew my time was running out. I knew that the second I was done grieving and I had adjusted to a world without her, I would be forced to face the rut I had let myself fall into. And honestly I wasn’t prepared for that; I wasn’t prepared to be thrust into a life that had no plan or direction. I was still living in my father’s world, where having no plan was unthinkable.”

Every word I spoke seemed to draw more tension from her body, until she relaxed against the booth. She nodded as I finished and we both looked up as Maude arrived with our food, quickly placing our plates in front of us before scurrying off. I looked around and noticed it had gotten quite a bit busier. Glancing back at Alara, I saw her eyes were also a little wide with surprise.

“I guess we kind of got lost in our own world, huh?” she asked with a laugh.

“Well, at least we got lost in the best place possible.”

She smiled and started buttering her toast. Maude returned a few minutes later to check on us, and before I knew it we were done and she was shooing us from the restaurant so she could seat waiting customers.

“I know it’s your mom’s day and all—”

I cut Maude off with a hug and whispered in her ear, “It’s okay. She’d be glad to see how well this place is doing. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

I pulled back to see a big smile on her face and tears shining in her eyes. “Damn right you’ll see me soon. But I’ll only take ya if you have that pretty little thing with you,” she said as she pointed to Alara. When Maude went to hug her she was more prepared, and she quickly hugged Maude before stepping into my side. I smiled as I wrapped an arm around her and led her outside.

As we walked to the car, I saw a couple approaching who were walking in a similar embrace. His arm was around her shoulders and her arm was around his waist; both were staring at each other dreamily as they laughed. Right before they passed, the guy looked up and gave me an almost secret grin, a grin that said,
Aren’t we lucky bastards to be with these two amazing girls?

I nodded and smiled back, pulling Alara closer into my side and forcing her to look up. She gave me a confused, yet hopeful grin before she ducked her head, looking away. I had no clue where we went from here, but I knew our time as friends was almost up.

Naomi: Hey!! Alara, Sher, and I are going out tonight. Bring Derek and meet at our place @ 8. We’ll carpool :)

Me: uhh sure?

Naomi: Great. See you then!

Me: where are we going?

Naomi: It’s a surprise ;) But just tell Derek we’re going to a club.

I hadn’t talked to Alara since last week when I left her outside of her apartment on my mother’s birthday. I couldn’t help but feel a little unsettled by all I’d revealed, especially when I thought about how I knew next to nothing about her. I kept waiting on her to text me but she never did. Despite my anxiety over it, I couldn’t make myself believe that it meant nothing to her. There was no way she could have felt nothing, especially not when I felt as strongly as I did.

I glared at the phone, like it was the reason I was being a fucking coward. Well, I was officially over second-guessing everything and acting like the girl in the relationship. My brain faltered at that last thought. Even though it felt like we were heading that way, I wasn’t sure she was ready yet. Maybe I could reverse friend-zone her.
I know you just want to be friends, but sorry, I’ve decided you’re my girlfriend.

Shaking my head, I reached for my phone.

Me: do you know where we’re going tonight? or have you been sworn to secrecy?

Alara: Huh?

Me: Naomi just texted me asking Derek and me to come out w/ you guys tonight…you didn’t know?

Alara: No. She just told me to be home by 7.

Me: oh.

Brilliant. It’s a wonder she hadn’t contacted me, what with my stellar conversational skills. I rolled my eyes at myself when my phone beeped again.

Alara: How are you?

Me: good. you?

Alara: Stressed. I’ve practically bitten my nails off waiting for a few grades to be posted.

Several minutes had passed as I tried to think of what to say when my phone beeped once more.

Alara: What exactly did she say was happening tonight?

Me: just that we were meeting at 8 and it was a surprise.
 

More radio silence.

Me: any idea why she texted me and not Derek?

Alara: Probably because Derek knows that “surprise” and “Naomi” in close proximity equals dangerous things.

Me: lol yeah I could see that.

Alara: Well I guess I’ll see you later?

Me: yeah. enjoy the rest of your day.

Alara: You too.

I walked into the living room and saw Derek lounging on the couch with a big bowl of cereal in his lap wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. Glancing at the clock, I confirmed it was almost two in the afternoon before turning back around and facing him.

“You plan on doing that all day?”

He looked down and shrugged. “I see no reason why not.”

“Naomi invited us out tonight, and I think she’d prefer it if you wore pants. And if you’re feeling really crazy, a shirt too.”
 

“Where to?” Derek asked around a mouthful of food, his eyes still glued to the television.

“Some club.”

“Time?”

“We’re meeting at their place at eight.”

He nodded and brought his bare arm up to wipe the milk off his chin. “Sounds good.”

“The karaoke bar, really?” I asked on a groan.

“Yes! We haven’t gone in a while and I think Gabe needs an introduction.”

“You know how Derek feels about that place, did you even tell him?”

Naomi looked up from her phone and regarded me with a serious expression. “No I didn’t tell him, and I know he won’t like it. But I also know that he won’t be dramatic about it and… you and I both know he needs to get over this thing.”

“I know that, but I just don’t think forcing him is the way to go. He should decide on his own—”
 

A loud knock echoed through the apartment, effectively ending our conversation. Naomi jumped up from the couch and ran to the front door. She flipped the locks and stepped back, letting both the boys in. Derek immediately went to the kitchen while Gabe walked toward me. I hadn’t seen him since his mother’s birthday, which was just under a week ago, and it still felt like too long. Two months. I had only known him for two months and already I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

“So what’s on the agenda for tonight? Or is that still need-to-know?” Gabe asked as he sat down next to me. And he was definitely sitting closer than usual.

“Need-to-know?” Derek echoed as he came back into the room with an opened beer bottle.

“Yeah, Naomi said it was a surprise.”

“Oh, God. Please tell me we’re not going to Mike’s,” Derek guessed immediately.

“What’s Mike’s?” Gabe asked.

Naomi continued like he hadn’t spoken. “Derek, it’s going to be fun, you’ll see.”

“You say that every single fucking time and somehow you talk me into going, and guess what? It’s never fucking fun,” Derek said.

Naomi put her hands on her hips as she glared at him. “That’s because you”—she glanced at Gabe, grimacing a little, like she just remembered he was in the room, before evasively finishing—“you know what your problem is. Get over it. It was a lifetime ago.”

Gabe’s brow puckered as he looked at me with a question in his eyes. I smiled nervously and shrugged.

“Can I have a word?” Derek asked his sister as he slammed his bottle on the counter and stalked back to her room. She shot me a worried and remorseful glance before sulking down the hallway after him.

“What was that all about?”

“No clue,” I lied as I shrugged once more and turned toward Gabe.

Gabe slid back on the couch before resting his arm around my shoulders. His eyes slowly wandered over my face. Hair. Eyes. Lips. Cheek. Nose. Lips. Other cheek. Lips.