Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 (9 page)

Chapter Thirteen

Maiya got an early start on the day, and considering she wasn’t a morning person, was an indication of exactly how much sleep she
didn’t
get last night. When the alarm clock went off at six, she’d been lying there wide-awake. After packing up and taking a shower, she finished her makeup and hair and then wandered around the room for a few more minutes.

She was stalling.

Sitting on the bed, she did the unthinkable. She called her mother. Mom wasn’t the best person to talk to about her love life, so Maiya had no intention of telling her what was going on. She just needed to hear her voice for a minute and pretend she was still a little girl. “Hi, Mommy.”

“Emmie? Are you home yet?”

“I’m still in Los Angeles. I fly home today. How are you feeling? Have you been eating?”

“Sure, sure.”

Maiya winced as the distinct sound of ice in a glass tinkled in the background. “I’ll be by tomorrow to bring you some groceries.”

“If you want, not sure I’ll be around though.” Her mother coughed.

Apparently the cold she had was hanging on tight. Damn. And, of course, her mother would be there tomorrow. “All right, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mom.”

“Bye, Emmie.” Her rough smoker’s rattle, peppered by the cold, was prevalent through her words.

Maiya sighed. “Bye, Mom.”

Thirty minutes after making it to work, Jodi appeared with two coffees in hand. She handed Maiya one of the cups. “Mornin’, girl.”

“Morning,
chica
. Thanks.” Maiya sipped the warm brew.

“Let’s go downstairs and smoke. You can tell me what happened.”

“All right. Although I can’t stay down there long. Too much to get done before I jet out.” Maiya stood and grabbed her pack of cigarettes.

They found an open bench in the courtyard and sat. Maiya lit a smoke and then handed the pack to Jodi.

“So what happened?” Jodi lit a cigarette.

“Well, he took me to Elise for dinner.”

“Ooh, nice. Pricey there.”

“Yeah, no shit. Have you been? Good lord, the steak is amazing.”

Jodi twirled one of her long curls around a finger. “Kevin took me for our one-year anniversary. It’s nice.”

“Nice is an understatement. I stuck out like a sore thumb.” Maiya drew on her smoke. “Anyway, it was great. I mean.” She shrugged. “We talked and laughed a lot.”

“A unique thumb, but never a sore one.” Jodi bumped Maiya’s shoulder. “It sounds like you had a good time.”

“We did. God, he kissed me in my office before I agreed to go.” Maiya traced the edge of her coffee lid. “And then he kissed me at the restaurant too.” She took a sip. “He’s a fucking fantastic kisser.”

“Wow.” Jodi blew a low whistle. “So, what happened at the hotel?”

Maiya took a last drag of her smoke and stubbed it out. “The hotel was awesome. Let me tell you, the man has moves I’ve never encountered before.” She ran her fingers through the length of her ponytail. “I can’t let myself think about it too much. Good grief.”

“Damn, girl. Really?”

“Oh yeah, really.” Maiya fanned herself. “He got me off with no problem, and then I got him off. I was naked in the bed waiting for him to join me after he finished in the bathroom. And instead, he fucking left.”

“I couldn’t believe it when I read your text.”

“He gave me some BS about having something he forgot he had to do… I dunno. It’s a mess.”

“Damn straight it is!”

“Yeah, well.” Maiya rolled her eyes. “I’m completely mortified.”

Jodi rubbed Maiya’s shoulder. “Don’t be. This isn’t your fault. He’s the asshole; not you.”

“I knew better.” Maiya looked down at her feet. “I never should have put myself out there. He’s not the guy for me.”

“You’re too good for him, Maiya.”

“Oh come on, Jodi. He’s way out of my league.”

“Bullshit. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.” Jodi nodded and stood. “Come on, girl. Back to work.”

“Another day, another dollar, right?” Maiya glanced to her left. Ryan was walking toward them and waved to her. “Speak of the devil, and the devil will call.” Maiya didn’t wave back.

He waved again.

Jodi placed a hand on her hip. “Oh, hell. Don’t even.”

“Let’s go.” Maiya stepped away from the bench, pulling her friend with her.

Ryan stopped and watched her walk away from him. Damn, she barely even looked at him.

Dressed in more casual attire, she wore khaki pants, a white long-sleeved blouse and a pair of high-heeled sandals. A tie held all her hair up and away from her face. It surprised him how he noticed minute details about her; he’d never been this way before with a woman. She always managed to hide her tattoos too. It amazed him. Pretty much everything about her amazed him.

God, he was a moron.

He wasn’t sure how to fix this with her—wasn’t sure where to begin. Maybe it was best to give her space. There had to be a way though. Maybe she’d cool off and want to talk to him again.

Might be better if she didn’t though, considering nothing about his situation was going to change. His concerns regarding his son were valid, but he didn’t want to leave things like this with her. His care was genuine, he just wasn’t sure he wanted to explore that too deeply. However the thought of not touching her again was maddening.

There was one saving grace: she’d be forced to talk to him about the project. He’d work it from that angle and wear her down.
Christ, what sort of tactic is that, anyway? Wear her down? Dumbass.
He shook his head and entered the building.

On the way to his cube, his cell rang. He checked the number and ducked into a conference room for privacy. “Hey, little man.”

“Hi, Daddy!” Jacob sweet voice came over the line. “I had lots of fun on all the rides. Wait till you see the stuffed monkey Papa got me. I got to see Snoopy too.”

“That’s awesome, Jacob.” He sat in one of the chairs. “Are you ready to come home tonight?”

“Yup. You miss me, Daddy?”

“I sure do, little man. I’m ready for some guy time. We can watch a movie. Good?”

“Yes.” Ryan could hear his son’s smile through the phone. “Can we have ice cream sodas too?”

“You got it. I’ll hit the store on the way home.” Jacob’s excitement helped soothe some of his regret. “See you soon, okay?”

“Love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, Jacob. Bye.”

Ryan disconnected the call and headed to his desk. There was a project with his name on it he needed to manage. All this business with Maiya would have to wait. Four conference calls later and a final run of reports, he leaned back in his seat and stretched. He’d missed lunch and his head was killing him too.

Palming up a couple of ibuprofen from his desk drawer, Ryan got up to refill his coffee with the break room sludge. Maybe he’d get lucky and there’d be something edible in the vending machine.

He chuckled to himself. Lucky? Yeah, there was a thought. He’d graduated high school with honors and a full football scholarship to the University of Washington State. He’d been lucky damn near his whole life, until he’d met Tammy the beginning of his senior year of college. She tended bar at a local pub. They were exclusive until he graduated, and when he moved back to California, she’d followed.

He hadn’t minded. They got along okay and she got a job right away. Why not, right? She was fun. Tammy was a bright light in the center of the room people couldn’t help but notice. Hell, they
wanted
to notice. A wild spirit and hotter than hell, to boot. A lot like Maiya.

Ryan looked up when he approached the office Maiya was using for the week. It was empty.
Where is she?
He spied her laptop still on the desk. At least she was still in the office. He lingered in the break room for a bit at a table he’d maneuvered so he could see the hall in front of her door.

He had one shot at apologizing to her face to face and he wasn’t going to miss it.

Maiya sat in her boss’s office reviewing the documents for the next project in the queue. In another month, Ryan’s project would be finished and her team would move on to the next one, which he wouldn’t be managing.

Not wanting to see him again, she’d successfully avoided Ryan the remainder of the day, with the exception of the two conference calls she’d been required to attend. She’d stayed at her desk during the calls, with the phone on mute, listening to his voice on the line. Even though he was a mere few feet down the hall from her, she could almost pretend she was home…almost.

A few times, she contemplated sending him a chat message, but stopped herself. She was
not
going to give in. It was screwed up what he did last night, and she wasn’t about to give him a chance to defend his actions with some lame ass excuse.

She checked her watch—four p.m. She had enough time to grab a coffee and a smoke with Jodi before heading to the airport.

“What time do you head out?” her boss asked.

“In about thirty minutes.” She closed her notebook and gathered the paperwork in front of her. “I need to get packed up and say my goodbyes.”

Tony leaned forward on his desk. “When do you think you want to come back?”

She cringed but managed to school her features. “I don’t know. When do you want me back?”

“The budgets are looking good right now. I’d like you back in a couple of weeks.” He stood. “It’s always good to have you in the office.”

“Thanks, Tony.” She gathered her things. “I think I can make that work.”
Dammit.

“Given any thought to relocating back here?”

“I…I can’t. My mother’s getting worse.”

“I’m sorry to hear she isn’t doing well.” He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “I’d be willing to accommodate you having to rush back there if necessary.”

“Thanks. You’ve been very generous to me. It’s appreciated.” She nodded and pursed her lips. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

“Take care, Maiya. Safe flight.”

“I’ll be sure to tell the pilots.” She laughed.

He smiled. “You do that.”

Maiya exited his office and walked the long hallway to her own. Before she passed through the door, she spotted Ryan in the break room.
With a resigned sigh, she stepped into her office. She sat at the desk, and waited.

Five, four, three—

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

She placed her palms on top of her desk and kept her gaze down. “No.”

“Come on, ba—Maiya. For just a minute, then I promise I’ll go. I want to—”

“No, Ryan. No. No.
Hell
, no!” Maiya pressed the keys to shut down her computer. “There is nothing you have to say that I want to hear. Save it.” She refused to look at him.

His gaze on her was palpable, but she ignored it and stowed her laptop in its bag. She sent a text off to Jodi telling her to meet her downstairs in five. Ryan sighed and Maiya glanced up, doing her best to appear uncaring. A well-practiced skill she’d used for many years on her mother.

“I’m sorry, Maiya.” His voice was low but sure.

She shook her head and looked away.

And then he was gone.

There went the best mistake she
almost
made. Good riddance. Maiya released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, grabbed her things and left the office.

After a coffee and smoke with Jodi, she headed back to LAX in her rental. The sky was littered with gray clouds and traffic was murder. By the time she got the rental dropped off and hopped the shuttle to the terminal, it was pouring. One hell of a storm had rolled in and thanks to traffic and the downpour, she was running late.

The line was eighty miles long for check-in.
Fucking fabulous.
Maiya had no choice but to wait her turn. When she reached the self check-in machine, she’d missed the cut-off time for bags. Nothing to do now but wait for the attendant to come over and give her the drill. As luck would have it the airline already canceled her flight due to the inclement weather. The next two were overbooked and the last one of the night wasn’t much better.

“How’s tomorrow looking?” she asked the desk agent.

“I have a seven, nine and ten thirty a.m. Which would you prefer?”

She pulled the hair tie from her hair. “I’ll take the ten thirty, I guess.”
So much for getting the hell out of Dodge.
Maiya headed out front and grabbed a cab. Maybe she could stay with Jodi for the night, easier than trying to book a room.

After giving the driver the address, she texted Jodi. With the traffic as bad as it was, her friend would be home by the time Maiya got there. She put her headphones in her ears and turned on her iPod. Shinedown’s “I’m Not Alright” flowed loud and perfect in her ears, and she laid her head back against the seat.

Maiya always believed everything happened for a reason. She’d ignored Ryan’s apology. And now she was stuck here. It didn’t have to mean anything if she didn’t want it to. It didn’t mean she should hear him out.

Or did it?
Crap. Yes it does.
Grabbing her phone, she pulled up the browser and did a quick search on his first and last name. Ding, ding, ding…jackpot, baby! She was doing this. After relaying the new address to the driver, she sent Jodi another text letting her know her change in plans.

Was she nuts?

Yep, for sure.

She was being spontaneous, following her gut—the least she could do was hear him out. And it bothered her that she’d been such a bitch to him in the office. If his explanation was lame, then fine, at least she’d know for sure. All good. If it sounded legit, then maybe they could start over. At the very least it wouldn’t be so awkward working together.

Nervous tension wove its way from her stomach to her hands. She flexed them a couple of times and shifted in the seat, trying to get comfortable. Ryan lived about thirty minutes past the office. She had at least an hour or more before she got there, plenty of time to calm her nerves. She hoped.

Chapter Fourteen

The sound of a car pulling up in his cul-de-sac got Ryan’s attention. It wasn’t even seven yet and all of Los Angeles was in gridlock, but his mother managed to get where she was going on time. The woman had skills.

He opened the front door and his mouth dropped open.

“Hi.”

“Maiya?” He blinked. “What are you doing here?” He looked to her right and eyed her suitcase and computer bag.

“My flight got canceled.” She gripped the end of her ponytail and squeezed the excess water from it. “Can I come in?”

“Uh… Um, yeah… sure.” He glanced past her to the street. “I’m sorry, yes, please come in.” Shifting to the side, he motioned for her to enter. Her hair was wet from the storm. Not like he would turn her away under these circumstances. He wasn’t that much of an asshole.

She motioned to her bags. “Can I leave these here by the door?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? A towel, maybe?”

“Coffee’d be great, thanks.” She looked around. “Don’t worry about the towel. I’m fine. Nice house.”

“Thanks. Coffee’s this way.” He turned and walked through the hall to the kitchen. Nervous energy bounced around his insides. Jacob would be home any minute. Maybe they’d be late and Maiya would be gone before they got there.
Yeah right, not my mother.

“I love these types of homes. It’s a California bungalow, right? A big one though.”

“Yeah. I’ve been fixing it up for a while. Done most of the work myself.” He pulled two mugs from the cabinet and poured them each coffee. “I finished the kitchen a few months ago.” He opened the fridge. “You want cream, right?”

She turned in a circle, taking in the space. “It’s beautiful. Ah, yeah, cream and sugar.” The look on her face told him she was both shocked and impressed.

“Thanks. I’m pretty happy with it.” He set the cream and sugar on the table. “Have a seat.” He watched her while she sat at the table.
What the hell is she doing here?
The nervous tension in his arms migrated to his shoulders, and he tilted his head and cracked his neck. Pushing the cream and sugar her way, Ryan took a seat at the opposite end of the table. “Help yourself.”

“Thanks.

Any minute now, his son would be walking through the door. Had she even noticed the drawings on the refrigerator or the ever-present toy cars and trucks scattered in the hall? Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat and waited for her to take a sip of her coffee before he spoke.

She beat him to it.

“So, I’m sorry to barge in on you, but I thought we should talk.” She cupped her mug in both hands.

“How’d you find me?”

“Spokeo. It’s a site online you should probably opt out of.” She sipped her coffee.

“You make a habit of looking up people and just showing up at their house?” He didn’t mean it to sound so harsh, but he was a little peeved she’d shown up uninvited.

Maiya choked on her coffee.

He handed her a napkin. “Sorry.”

Pressing it to her lips, she cleared her throat. “No, of course not. I figured since I was such a bitch earlier, it was maybe best to do this in person.”

Where were his parents and son? “Did the great Maiya Rossini just admit to being a bitch?” He sipped his coffee. “I’m skeptical.”

“You’re teasing me, right?”

“Yeah.” He watched her. “I’m teasing you, Maiya.” He looked away and shifted in his seat. This was
so
not
how he imagined this conversation would go.

“Why’d you leave, Ryan?” Her voice sounded timid. As if she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear the reason.

He paused, contemplating how best to explain. He got his answer when he heard the front door open. “The reason just got home. Excuse me a moment.” Not waiting for a response, he left the room and headed for the front door.

Nothing like ripping the bandage off, right? He neared the entrance and Jacob jumped into his arms, squealing.

“Hi, Daddy!”

“Hey, little man. So glad you’re home.” He squeezed his son and then kissed his mother on the cheek. “Hey, Mom.”

“Sorry we’re late, honey. Traffic was horrible.” She set Jacob’s bag inside the door. “I have to go, Dad’s waiting. Looks like the rain’s going to be here for the night.”

Thank God, she wasn’t staying. He wouldn’t have to introduce her to Maiya too. One person at a time.

“Run upstairs and get your jammies on.” He put Jacob down. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Wait a minute there.” His mother tugged at Jacob’s T-shirt. “Give Nana a kiss and hug, tiger.”

Jacob wrapped his little arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, Nana. Love you.”

“Love you too!” She faced Ryan and Jacob ran up the stairs. “All right, honey. Enjoy your weekend.” She kissed Ryan on his cheek and turned to leave. “Call me.”

“Sure thing.” He shut the front door and then hollered up the stairs. “Come down to the kitchen when you’re done, little man.”

Maiya waited in silence at the table, listening to the voices in the other room. She swore she heard a child’s voice, and a woman too, but figured it must be one of Ryan’s nieces or nephews.

“Hey,” she said when Ryan came back into the kitchen. “Did you need me to get out of your hair?”

“No—well, I’ll leave that up to you to decide.” He opened the freezer and took out a carton of ice cream. “Do you like ice cream sodas?”

“Yes. Wait. Back up. What do you mean let me decide?”

“You’ll see.” He pulled three mugs from the cupboard.

“Are you babysitting tonight or something?”

“Not exactly.”

A little boy with sandy, light-brown hair came walking in the room dressed in a set of Sponge Bob pajamas. The child glanced at her before focusing on Ryan. “Are we still having ice cream sodas, Daddy?”

Daddy? Whoa… What. The. Fuck.

Maiya stood.

“Sure are, little man. C’mere, there’s a friend I’d like you to meet.”

The little boy turned and faced her, his eyes wide as though he hadn’t noticed her a moment ago. He tilted his head to the side. Was he sizing her up? Then he smiled.

“Jacob, this is Miss Maiya. She’s a friend from work. Go shake her hand.”

She looked from Jacob’s sweet face to Ryan’s handsome one. Shock settled heavy in her mind like a brick.
Holy fucking shit.
Maiya blinked and shook her head, and then focused on Jacob’s face again.

Ryan Donnelly had a son.

The little boy blushed and tugged on Ryan’s shirtsleeve. Ryan knelt on one knee. “What is it, little man?”

Jacob leaned toward Ryan’s ear and whispered something she couldn’t hear.

Ryan squeezed the child’s shoulder. “Yup, you’re right.” He stood. “Don’t be rude. Go say hello.”

Maiya stayed still while the scene played out. She didn’t want to move—afraid she might alter the moment in some way. It was all too damn surreal. Ryan had a son.
Does anyone else know?

“I’m not rude, Daddy.” The little boy frowned and moved forward and stretched out his small hand. “I’m Jacob.”

Oh my God, how adorable was this kid? He had the brightest set of green eyes she’d ever seen. Bending forward, she took Jacob’s warm palm in hers. “Nice to meet you, Jacob. I’m Maiya.”

He blushed. “Are you going to stay for ice cream? Daddy makes the bestest ice cream sodas.”

She looked up at Ryan who was back at the counter loading each mug with ice cream. “Looks that way.” She smiled at Jacob. “It’s okay? I don’t want to intrude.”

Jacob shrugged and shifted his little hips. “I guess.”

She straightened and the little boy ran off into what must be a family room. A moment later the distant sound of the TV flowed into the room.

Ryan grabbed a bottle of soda from the refrigerator. “Like I said, up to you if you want to stay or not.”

“Does anyone at work know?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

He poured soda into each mug. “It’s complicated.”

She stepped closer and leaned against the counter next to him. What the hell was complicated about telling people he had a child? “Are you divorced?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re married?”

“God no…” His grimaced. “We were never married.”

A wave of relief spread through her and she blew out a breath, and ran a hand over the top of her head.
Thank God for that at least.

“Do you still see her? Does Jacob see her?” She couldn’t stop the questions from tumbling out. “Do you love her?” She slapped a hand over her mouth.
Jeez, Maiya, shut up!

He clasped her hand and pulled it away from her mouth. Pressing her fingers to his lips, he shook his head. “No. No. And, no.”

Maiya glanced at his lips, and then back to his eyes. God, she loved his lips. Remembering what they felt like against her own made her knees go weak. They stood there a moment, caught in each other’s gaze. A small space separated them, and if he took one single step forward, their bodies would meet. A desperate need to feel those lips again rose inside her. Maiya wanted him to move closer.

The spell was broken however, when the TV sounds got louder. An effective reminder they weren’t alone. Ryan stepped away from her and then pulled some whipped cream and a jar of cherries from the fridge.

“Were you going to tell me? I mean, is that why you ran out of my hotel room?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t gotten that far.” He started putting the ingredients away. “We can talk more later, if you want. Right now let’s have some ice cream sodas and watch a movie.” He handed her a mug. “If you don’t want to stay, I understand.” He grabbed the other two mugs and walked toward the sounds of the television.

Ryan stepped into the family room and set one mug on the coffee table for his son. “You ready to start the movie, little man?”

“Is that pretty lady staying?” Jacob knelt in front of the table.

“Her name is Maiya, and yes, she’s pretty, and yes, I think she’s staying. Is it okay?”

Maiya walked in the room.

Had she heard what he said to Jacob? For whatever reason embarrassment tingled in his chest, which was crazy because he told her how beautiful she was every opportunity he had.

“Yup, it’s okay.” Jacob turned to Maiya. “My daddy thinks you’re pretty.”

Maiya looked from Ryan to his son and back again, a smile on her face. “Yeah? Well, thanks. I think your dad’s pretty too.”

“Hey now. Ratting your dad out isn’t cool.” Ryan pulled a DVD from its case. “Besides, you said she was pretty first.” He stuck out his tongue at Jacob.

Jacob fell to his side in a fit of giggles. “Boys aren’t pretty. That’s silly.”

“Sure they are.” Maiya sat on the couch. “You’re pretty too.”

Jacob sobered, righting himself. “I’m not pretty. I’m handsome. That’s what Nana says.”

Ryan chuckled and turned on the movie. “Go easy on her, little man.”

“Oh, my.” Maiya feigned a shocked look. “Yes, you’re right. Handsome is a much better word.” She winked at his little boy.

Jacob smiled and took a sip of his soda. “Mmm, yummy.”

“Holy cow, did the great Maiya Rossini just admit to being wrong?” Ryan teased and sat beside her.

“No, I said he was right.” She rolled her eyes and sipped her soda. “Mmm, this
is
yummy.” She licked her lips.

Ryan tracked the movement of her tongue. What the hell? Hello, bad timing. His son was right there, on the floor in front of him, yet his brain filled with images of how hot that mouth truly was.
Damn. Button it up, dude.
Now was not the time.

The movie started, one of those Disney ones with more adult comedy in it than any kid was aware of. They sat in relative silence, aside from the giggles bubbling up from Jacob. Ryan kept his hands to himself; not wanting to be inappropriate or give Jacob any idea this woman was more than a friend. She wasn’t really more than a friend, anyway.

He sure as hell didn’t think Jacob was ready for him to have some fling hanging around the house. His son might get attached and then when she was gone, he’d be hurt. Jacob had been hurt enough. Ryan wasn’t about to add to it.

About halfway through the movie, Jacob climbed up on the couch and laid his head on Ryan’s lap. He stroked his son’s hair and noticed Maiya looked over a few times. What did she think about his son? What did she think about him now? He glanced at her. She caught his gaze, but he couldn’t tell from the look in her eyes what she was thinking.

As expected, Jacob fell asleep before the movie ended. Ryan stood and then picked up his son. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered and carried Jacob out of the room.

After tucking Jacob into bed, Ryan sat on the edge, staring at him in the dim light. He was so grateful to have his son in his life. Hell, for the first three years he didn’t even know if Tammy terminated the pregnancy or if she had their baby. Once he knew, his only concern had been to find his little boy.

The memory played through his thoughts and anxiety curled in his gut. He struggled not to scoop Jacob into his arms and hold him tight. Instead, Ryan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his precious son’s forehead. “I love you.” Ryan tucked the blankets a little tighter around Jacob, and then left the room.