Up All Night (20 page)

For the first time in two weeks she
felt a loosening around her ribcage. Around her heart.

It wouldn’t be easy. She wasn’t
stupid enough to think it would be. But to give herself any chance of
happiness, she had to make it happen. Hell. She
would
make it happen.

As a new determination stormed
through her, it was accompanied by a feeling of rightness. A feeling so strong
she wondered why she’d ever allowed herself to wallow in so much crap.

Bolstered by her newfound strength
of purpose, her glowing resolve, she dug out her cell phone.

With the phone in her hand she
paused. She needed to prove to Marco she was worth another chance. That
they
were worth another chance. Words
alone wouldn’t do it, she had to back it up with action.

Beth scrolled through her contacts
list until she found the number she thought she’d never have need to call
again.

Nerves danced in her stomach as she
tapped the icon, raised the phone to her ear, and waited.

****

At the foot of his stairs, Marco
hesitated before stepping into the bar. His first evening off for two damn
weeks and he was destined to spend it at Amber and Ethan’s place helping with
seating plans and order of speeches. Not that he begrudged them their
happiness, he just wished he didn’t have it shoved in his damn face. Especially
right now.

He surveyed the early evening crowd
filling Papa Niko’s.

“Okay, boss?”

Marco turned at his barman’s
question. Kevin had been tending bar for almost five years and had been one of
his uncle’s favorite people. Marco relied on him and counted him as a friend as
well as an employee. “Looks like a busy one. Think you’ll be okay? I can stick
around if you think you’ll need another hand.”

Kevin smirked. “Don’t want to spend
the evening fulfilling best man duties?”

Marco smirked back. “Members of
staff who stick their beaks into their employer’s business often find
themselves looking for alternative employment.”

“You can’t do without me.” Kevin
slapped Marco on the back. “But in answer to your question, yes, we’ll be okay.
Go enjoy your evening, boss.”

“Smug bastard.”

Kevin laughed and sauntered off.

Marco couldn’t quite bring himself
to return Kevin’s laughter, probably because he hadn’t felt much like laughing
for some time.

He wasn’t going to acknowledge that
his lack of humor had anything to do with Beth walking out on him, nor was he
going to admit he missed her.

Shit, he’d give pretty much anything
to put things right between them. To see her walking into the bar, her hair
falling around her shoulders, or even tied back in that ponytail deal she wore
for work. Those eyes flashing in anger, gleaming with evil intent, or smiling
at him. He didn’t give a fuck. He just wanted her.

They’d work something out.
He’d
work something out. Except it
wasn’t that easy. A person couldn’t build a relationship simmering with the
stench of resentment, distrust, or dishonesty.

He didn’t see a way around it. At
heart she didn’t trust him. And for him, that was a deal breaker. Okay, he may
skirt around the truth, err on the side of caution when it came to outright
stating things he knew would upset someone, but he wasn’t a liar. And he wasn’t
a cheat.

He’d been wrong not telling Beth
about Amber’s suggestion, but what was the damn point? It would have upset her
and they’d be exactly where they were right now. Apart.

When you looked at the bigger
picture, things were probably how they were meant to be. Which meant he’d have
to suck it up. Endure the pain of not having her around. The pain that seemed
to settle under his ribcage and squeeze into his heart whenever he thought of
her, which was pretty much all the damn time.

He had to get a fucking grip. Had to
get over Beth and suffer an evening of watching Amber and Ethan make doe eyes
at each other.

Shit. He was a morose son of a
bitch. He’d be better talking himself up rather than wallowing in self pity,
especially seeing as Amber would likely grill him about the breakup with Beth.

He took one last look along the bar,
checked the barrels, the decanters. Satisfied he had no more reasons to delay
his departure, he started to lift the bar counter top.

Awareness shimmered along his spine,
something primal and instinctive. He looked over toward the entrance door.

Beth.

Her hair flowed around her
shoulders, while the dark blue dress she wore fitted where it touched and ended
mid thigh. As she walked toward him, he reacquainted himself with the
heart-stopping beauty of her. She didn’t so much walk, but rather glided on
those long legs, those killer heels.

His gaze met hers as she arrived at
the bar.

She placed her bag on the counter.
“White wine, please.”

Her eyes, all blue fire and
determination, bored into him, burning his flesh, heating his blood. Why was
she here? To taunt him? Make him see that if he didn’t want her another man
would? The thought pushed anger into his belly. “I’m off duty. Ask someone
else.”

Her gaze didn’t flicker, but she
swallowed. “I’m asking you.”

The dark red gloss slicked across
her mouth made him want to yank her across the counter and kiss her senseless,
but until he was sure what the hell was going on, he’d be best keeping his
distance, keeping his cool.

But fuck, his heart thumped like a
relentless boxer’s fist against a training bag; his blood burned in his veins.
No way in heaven was he handing her over to Kevin or one of the other bar
staff, not when one look at her made his throat dry as parchment. “Large or
small?”

“Large.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you
driving?”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

Her words, and their sensuous
delivery, fueled the inferno simmering in his chest. “This isn’t a pick-up
joint.”

She smiled, his dark tone no doubt
having alerted her to the knowledge he wasn’t entirely unaffected by her. That
he still wanted her, still desired her. Still fucking needed her.

“I wasn’t planning on being picked
up, either.”

Because he still felt the urge to
yank her across the counter, he slipped his hands in his pockets. “Why are you
here? There are plenty of other drinking establishments closer to your neck of
the woods.”

She kept her eyes fixed on his, but
this time her chin rose an inch and she didn’t swallow. “I came to see you.”

Inside his pockets, his fists
bunched. “Well, here I am.”

“Yes.” Now she did swallow. “Can I
get that drink? Better still, will you join me?”

“I’m heading out.”

She hesitated as if she’d been about
to say something but thought better of it. “I’m sure you could spare a few
minutes. Can we go upstairs? To talk?”

He wasn’t sure his nerve would hold
out if they went upstairs into the privacy of his apartment. Yet as he glanced
around, he noticed a few men’s gazes linger on Beth and a blistering heat
flared in his veins again. “Three minutes.”

Her smile was tentative. “Thanks.”

He lifted the counter top and
stepped back to let her through. Since she already knew her way, he followed
her, glaring at Kevin’s waggled eyebrows as they headed out the back.

He tried to keep his eyes off her
ass as he followed her upstairs, but that dress really didn’t leave much to the
imagination. He knew her flesh was as firm as it looked, that from the outline
through her dress, she wore a thong. As his cock jerked in his pants, he
wondered what colour it was. Blue like the dress? Or red, his favorite? Fuck.
Now he was the one swallowing.

Inside his sitting room, she placed
her bag down and turned to face him. “I’m feeling really nervous, so it’s best
I just blurt out what I want to say.”

“I’ve only a few minutes.”

His voice seemed deeper, gruffer
each time he spoke. No doubt she’d noticed, because she clasped her hands in
front of her and moved them nervously. He hated making her feel this way, but
shit, he was going to protect himself. She wasn’t going to stir him up again
and then walk out. These last couple of weeks, he’d suffered. Erratic sleep,
lost appetite, poor concentration. Not that things had improved much, but he
was getting there.

Liar
.

“At first, I thought what we had was
fun and exciting,” she said, interrupting his thoughts. “I was happy just to
enjoy the sex. Then I started to have feelings for you, and along with that all
the old insecurities and suspicions from what happened with James and my sister
re-emerged.”

“I get that.” Because he did, his
chest loosened a little.

“When you mentioned that Amber was
special to you I suppose I started to look for those spooks. I convinced myself
it was okay because you and she were just friends, but when Amber told me you’d
slept together, it was like my suspicions had been confirmed and I had a right
to them. You hadn’t told me. I thought I had a right to feel let down.”

“Maybe you did,” Marco said quickly.
“I should have told you myself.”

“Let me do this,” she said with a
flicker of a smile. “Let me say what I need to say before I chicken out.”

Since he still wasn’t entirely sure
what direction this was going, he nodded. “Okay.”

“When I knew about the woman you and
Ethan had shared, I felt a whole different type of concern. Up until then I
thought I was dealing with my paranoia. Then I realized for two men to be
willing to share a woman, well, the sex must be pretty out there. I started to
worry if I could match that.” She shrugged. “Something must have driven James
into my sister’s arms, right?”

“James is a fucking moron.”

Her smile was more confident this
time. “Even so, I suppose I had this sort of crisis of sexual confidence. It
was scary how needy I’d become. Hard to swallow that realization when I’ve
always been sure of myself, of who I am.”

“Hard not to take a hit after what
happened to you.”

“Yes.” She sucked in a long breath.
“I could leave it at that, let you think that was all of it, but it isn’t.”

His chest grew tighter. “Okay.”

“I thought about why you’d had that
threesome, what had driven you to do it. All I could come up with was that you
needed the stimulation, the excitement. So I threw caution to the wind and
decided to try anything, everything. Whatever you suggested, I agreed to. I
imagined you’d done most things with that first woman you and Ethan had shared,
then with Amber. It felt like I had to compete, try harder.”

Marco felt like someone had punched
him square in the gut. “You’re saying all that stuff we did together. In bed.
That was because you wanted to prove some idiot point about being as good as
Amber?”

“Partly.”

“Shit. Do you realize how that makes
me feel?”

She stepped forward a pace. “Tell
me.”

“Like an insensitive moron.” His jaw
ached with the effort to get the words out. “Like I somehow forced you into
doing things you didn’t want, that at any other time you might have refused to
do. It makes me feel like a fucking brute.”

“No.” Now she stepped right up
against him. “Whatever we did you were sensitive, understanding, and amazing. I
loved what we did together. Every single thing. And it gave me back my confidence,
my belief in my own power as a woman.”

She reached up and touched his
cheek, easing some of the tightness in his face, in his chest. “I spouted on at
you for not being honest with me, and yet you always were. I was just too
inside my own head, dealing with my own doubts and expectations, to realize it.
Yet I realized I was equally to blame for not being honest with you.

“I thought I’d been doing a decent
job of dealing with my feelings about you and Amber,” Beth went on. “Until I
found out she’d suggested a foursome and it was something else you hadn’t told
me. My head just exploded and all my insecurities came rushing to the surface
again. I couldn’t think straight.”

She brushed her fingers along his
jaw. “Since you and Amber are friends, good friends, I know you’ll share
things. I don’t want to have a problem with that.”

He couldn’t imagine a future
scenario where he’d want to share with Amber something he wouldn’t want to
share with Beth, but in view of the gist of their current conversation he thought
it best to keep quiet.

“I really am working on it.” Her
fingers, feather light, continued to stroke along the tightness in his jaw.
“I’ve finally got a handle on the crazy, insane woman who took up residence in
my brain for a while.”

“So where does that leave us?”

She tilted her chin up to him. “It
leaves me not allowing my fears to dictate my present or future. Not letting
what happened to me hold power over my life.” She caught his hands in hers. “It
leaves me hoping you’ll allow me the chance to prove things can be different.”