Up In Flames (7 page)

I was breathing so hard I had to open my mouth to keep from passing out. Cole’s hips pressed into my lower back and I felt something hard against my spine that both made me blush and moan.

My hands covered my mouth immediately. Where the heck had that come from? I didn’t know I was capable of such a sexual sound.

Cole’s mouth dropped to my neck. His breath was so hot against it, I felt the muscles relax.

Well, they relaxed until something wet and firm slid up the curve of my neck. I tensed for a moment, but then his tongue played with the tip of my earlobe before he gently sucked on it.

I moaned again, louder and longer, but this time I didn’t cover my mouth. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I was done ignoring the way Cole made me feel with a simple look or a not-so-simple touch. I hadn’t been exactly successfully ignoring him as right now—his hands gripping hard into my hips and his lips doing things to my earlobe I didn’t know could be done—proved.

“That’s it, Elle,” he breathed as one hand slid up my body before forming around my cheek. “Don’t fight it. I can see the person you are, the one you’re fighting.” He took my earlobe back into his mouth, but this time, his teeth sunk into it carefully. Of course, my only response was another porn-worthy moan. Or groan. Or sigh. I don’t know how the heck you would classify the sounds I was making, but I did know they were the opposite of innocent. “And that girl makes me all kinds of crazy.” Cole’s hand guided my face closer to his. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to stare at: his eyes or his mouth. Both were tempting on so many levels.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Unless you stop me,” he said, lowering his mouth to mine. It was so close, I could taste his lips. But I wanted to feel them. I wanted to feel them move over mine. I wanted to feel him suck at my lower lip the way he’d just done with my ear. I wanted. I wanted too much, and what was worse, I wanted what I couldn’t have.

But tonight, I was going to finally have what I wanted.

“But if you stop me now,” Cole said. His eyes had no degree of indecision; they stayed firmly on mine. “I’ll try to kiss you again later. I’m persistent, Elle.”

Those words, those eyes drilling into mine, those hands holding onto me so tightly I couldn’t budge, and that certain something pressed hard into my back broke down any and all last reservations.

I lifted an arm and curled it around the back of Cole’s neck. In this position, I felt totally vulnerable, totally not-in-control. But still, totally protected.

“And yet you’re still talking,” I whispered, lifting my brows suggestively.

When Cole’s lips dropped to mine, I could feel the tilted smile on his mouth. I’d been right. Whatever voltage our combined hands could create was compounded to the hundredth power when our mouths moved against one another.

I felt clumsy at first, inexperienced in every way as I was, but what I lacked in experience Cole more than made up for for the both of us. The way his lips could both polish and suction to mine in the same heartbeat confirmed this man had been perfecting his craft for a while. I didn’t want to even guess the number of women he’d been perfecting it with, so I tried to follow his lead and not make a kissing fool of myself.

I wasn’t very conscious of his hands with his mouth doing what it was, but I did have enough remaining wits to realize they stayed where they were. I wasn’t sure if I was more relieved or disappointed.

When Cole’s tongue slid out, encouraging the seam of my lips to open, they didn’t take much encouragement. In fact, his tongue hadn’t even entered my mouth before mine met his. I think he was as surprised as I was because a sound that was deeper and more gravelly than the sounds I’d been making traveled up his throat.

Knowing I was responsible for that sound, despite feeling like I was all thumbs in the kissing department . . . all that knowledge made me want him more. Made me want him in ways I knew I couldn’t, shouldn’t, and absolutely wouldn’t indulge.

So instead, I focused on our tongues winding around one another, our lips smoothing over each other, our bodies formed against each other so tightly I didn’t doubt my back would be wearing a Cole-sized dent in it for a while.

My hand slid down to his hands kneading my hips. Our fingers curled together the way our mouths were. I’d never been kissed like this, never even close.

I’d kissed a total of one boy in my life: Logan.

Logan
.

The name was familiar, it meant something, but Cole’s mouth and body were making me forget what that name meant. Only when Cole’s fingers started drifting lower, sliding into the front pocket of my shorts, did reality hit me head on. I felt the small, hard circle at the bottom of my pocket hard against my thigh.

I didn’t know if I broke out of Cole’s embrace because I was ashamed of what I’d just done or because I’d been scared of Cole finding the ring, but the pain of separation was instant.

“Elle?” Cole’s face was as confused as his voice sounded. He had a right to be. One second ago I’d been a making out fiend and now I backed away from him like I was being chased by the devil.

“I’ve got to go,” I said, more to myself than to him as I stumbled down the ramp. Apparently there were more ways to get drunk than from alcohol. Cole’s body had done a number on mine and it wouldn’t function properly.

“Did I do something wrong?” He stuck his head out the plane door and watched me.

“No,” I said, having to look away. If I stared at him any longer, I was going to run back and pick up where we’d left off. “I did.”

I had so much more to say. I had one big thing to explain, but I was either too cowardly or too confused to do any talking or explaining tonight. Without sparing another look or word Cole’s way, I ran.

The tears fell when I realized this wasn’t the first time I’d run away from something I wanted. My life was a snowball of regrets and dreams shoved to the side, and even though I ran in the opposite direction from him, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cole Carson would be the one to change all that. To change everything.

I ignored Cole’s calls again. He’d called every hour since I ran away last night. Lucky for me, the diner, where my Jeep was parked, hadn’t been that far of a walk. Or a run.

When I’d heard a car approaching, I dodged into the dark tree line, guessing it would be Cole.

My guess was confirmed when an old Land Cruiser went by. It went slow, so I caught a glimpse of his face. It was a mixture of tortured and anxious. I stuck to the trees the last half mile back to the diner and didn’t race to my Jeep until I was certain Cole wasn’t lurking in the shadows waiting for me. I wasn’t ready to face him, but I was even more not ready to tell him about Logan. I knew I had to tell him the very next time I saw him, but I also knew that would end everything we had.

I wasn’t ready for The End.

Trying not to think about endings, or Cole, or Logan, or anything at all the next morning, I headed up the bleachers towards where my dad sat. I had to squeeze and weave my way through a few bodies because I’d showed up an inning late. Reason for my tardiness? I wasn’t ready to face Logan either.

I was convinced that Logan would know I’d been unfaithful. As soon as he took one look at me, he’d know another man’s hands and lips had been on me.

So I avoided Logan.

And I avoided Cole.

And I wanted to avoid Dad too, but this was a small town baseball game and there was a total of one set of bleachers. It was kind of hard to get lost in the crowd.

“Hi, Dad,” I said, sliding between a couple bodies before plopping down on the end of the bleacher. The row was so packed I practically hung off the end. “Thanks for saving me a seat.”

“I was getting ready to call Bill,” he said, tilting his bag of popcorn my way. I curled my nose and shook my head. My appetite had been next to non-existent lately.

“Why were you about to call Uncle Bill?” I asked. Dad’s younger brother, my uncle, was the town sheriff. I wasn’t exactly the kind of person that, if he wasn’t my family, would be familiar with the town sheriff.

Correction, I didn’t used to be that kind of person. Now I was the kind of person who made out with boys while her unsuspecting boyfriend was asleep. Cheating had to be on the list of gateway indiscretions that led to incarceration, right?

“Because the last time you were late to one of Logan’s games, you had strep throat. Even then, you made it before the pitcher took the mound.” Dad’s voice was as light as a person as serious as him could be. I knew he was teasing, but it struck a sensitive chord.

“I had killer cramps this morning,” I lied. “I could barely get out of bed.”

That wasn’t the first lie I’d told Dad, but after last night’s lie and last night’s make-out session with Cole, I was starting to become a serial liar. This, I knew I wasn’t okay with.

At least I could still be confident about something.

Dad shifted and cleared his throat. Girly business made any man uncomfortable, especially dads when it came to their daughters. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better and could make it,” he said, his face looking a shade redder.

Poor Dad. You would have thought being a single parent, the one who’d raised me the better part of my life, he’d be more comfortable talking about things of a female nature.

He was anything but comfortable.

So, not only had I lied to him, but I’d made him squirm. Maybe Cole was right: I wasn’t the good girl everyone thought I was.

“I talked to Logan for a few minutes before the game,” Dad said, shifting the conversation. “He said he feels like he’s barely seen you this summer. Is everything all right with you two?”

I almost flinched. I knew he couldn’t know about Cole and me, but that question couldn’t have been posed at a better time to make me feel like the worst person ever.

Looking onto the field, I made sure to avoid the home team dugout. “He’s been really busy with baseball, and I’ve been working a ton, too,” I said.
I’ve also found myself wildly and inexplicably attracted to another guy who has the word HEARTACHE drawn in thick black Sharpie on his forehead
. “We’re only a couple weeks into summer, Dad. Logan and I have plenty of time to hang out before . . .” I paused and tried again. “Before . . .” Nothing came. We weren’t heading back to high school in the fall. In fact, in Dad and Logan’s mind, the only place we were heading in the fall was to an altar. However, I couldn’t let go of the hope of heading off to one of the universities I’d been accepted to.

It was a pipe dream, and I was a fool for clinging to it, but I just couldn’t let go yet. I loved Logan and I loved my dad, but why did I have to give up what I wanted for them? I’d never ask them for the same.

Thankfully, my phone saved me from stumbling over the “before, before, before” conundrum. I didn’t really need to check it. Everyone who would call me, other than Dani, was here, but I did, and when I saw the number—the same number I’d missed a couple dozen calls from in the past week—I smiled.

Cole was one button away. At least his voice was. I was tempted, more than with any of his other calls, to answer. Whatever Cole had done, however he’d worked his way inside my defenses, I couldn’t break free of him, and I most certainly couldn’t forget the way that kiss had felt. If mouths could commit the act, his made very hot, passionate love to mine last night.

As much as I wanted to answer, I knew I couldn’t. For more reasons that just being surrounded by my dad and my boyfriend. I might want Cole in ways I couldn’t explain, but I knew I couldn’t have him in plenty of ways I could explain.

Sighing, I pushed ignore and pocketed the phone.

“Wow, so that confirms it. You really are ignoring me.” A familiar voice came from beside me. “I was hoping you’d lost your phone or something.”

I peeked over at my dad. He was, along with most everyone else, focused on the game. Leaning forward, I propped my elbows on my knees, trying to block Cole from my dad.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed over at him. He was standing to the side of the bleachers and, at this height, his head was right in line with mine.

“It certainly isn’t for the warm welcome,” he replied dryly while I did my best to focus on the patch of grass just beyond his left shoulder. I’d made the mistake of looking at him for too long, staring at his mouth and remembering the way it had played with mine.

I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to reply. Sans sarcasm.

“Since you seem to have some sort of vendetta against answering my phone calls, I got worried. I know we’re in small town nowhere here, but a young, beautiful girl walking alone on dark roads is not smart, Elle.”

I almost corrected him. I hadn’t walked. Other than ducking into the trees when I saw his headlights approaching, I ran.

“I wanted to make sure you made it home and didn’t run into any chainsaw murderers, rabid bears, or—”

“Too smooth for their own good smokejumpers who like to take advantage of girls in dark planes?” I smirked at him before I remembered my dad was barely a foot away. A quick peek revealed he was still engrossed in the game I had yet to watch a second of.