Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century (21 page)

Remember, by the time you reach these higher circles, the energy will most likely be flowing on its own. Just keep breathing and you will feel yourself moving rapidly into an orgasmic state.

HELPFUL HINTS

If at any point in the process you feel that you have lost the plot and aren’t feeling anything, don’t get discouraged, and don’t think you’re doing something wrong. Energy levels may rise and fall. Just return to the level where the energy seems to have settled, and start again from there. Or, go all the way back to the root chakra and pull energy from there directly into whichever higher chakra you’re trying to energize.

Stay focused on your breath circles by using your hands to touch the chakras you’re breathing into. Or, move your hands in small circles, as if lifting the energy up with each inhalation.

Raise the pitch of your voice on your exhalations as you move the energy up each chakra. This is particularly true as you circle energy in the higher chakras.

Remember, do not be alarmed if you experience lightheadedness; dizziness; or tingling sensations, spasms, or constrictions in your hands and feet. These effects are only temporary. Take slow, deep breaths. The symptoms should pass in a short time. If you experience these symptoms, it may mean you are trying too hard. Ease up!

The Firebreath Orgasm: The Simplified Version

The simplified version is exactly the same as the full version, except in the sequence of the chakras through which you circle energy up your body. Instead of circulating energy between chakras one and two, then one and three, then two and three, then two and four, then three and four, and so on, you simply circulate the energy as follows:

Between the perineum and sex center (
first and second chakras
)

Between the sex center and solar plexus (
second and third chakras
)

Between the solar plexus and heart (
third and fourth chakras
)

Between the heart and throat (
fourth and fifth chakras
)

Between the throat and the third eye (
fifth and sixth chakras
)

Between the third eye and the crown (
sixth and seventh chakras
)

Energize each chakra as you go. Everything else is the same.

ARE YOU BREATHING?

Is reading these long descriptions of breath techniques making your brain bleed? If so, this would be a great time to practice one of the four conscious breaths outlined in
chapter 4
. Pick one, and breathe until you’re back in your body. Then, if you have twenty to sixty minutes, take the phone off the hook and try the Firebreath Orgasm.

The Clench and Hold

The Clench and Hold is a Taoist technique I first learned from Joseph Kramer at his Friday evening “Breathe and Dance until You Come” parties (he called them Tantric Group Rebirths) in New York in the late 1980s. It took a lot of practice for me to feel the power of this process, and it was worth it. The Clench and Hold is my favorite breath orgasm technique. I like to practice it not only as an exercise by itself but also with partners and while having sex. I have explored numerous variations of it, but its essence remains the same.

The way the Clench and Hold works is quite simple: you breathe. Your body relaxes and becomes charged with energy. Then you constrict most of the muscles in your body. Finally, you let go and do nothing. What happens? You never know. You may have a catharsis, or you may see visions. You may tingle all over, or you may feel deeply quiet and peaceful. You may have insights, or you may feel as if you are making love to some form of deity. You may feel as if you have achieved an ecstatic death.

Why the Clench and Hold works is open to interpretation. The Taoist opinion is that when you build lots of energy through breath and movement and then suddenly stop and constrict your muscles, there is nowhere for all that energy to go but up through your central energy channel (the Inner Flute) and out the top of your head (in a process known as the Ejection of Consciousness)—hence, the feeling of blasting off that many people experience. However, I think of the blast-off as more of a blast
inward
or an
injection
of consciousness.

For years, I subscribed to the notion that there was something more spiritually “pure” about the upper chakras, and I tried endlessly to blast out of my body into some higher, more esoteric realm. Once, as I was enjoying the afterglow of a particularly powerful Clench and Hold, I felt myself blasting inward. I realized that true higher wisdom was inside me, not out in some other realm. It was a vacuum drawing insight inward—an
injection
of consciousness.

The Clench and Hold

Before you actually start this breath orgasm, please read through the instructions and then rehearse the individual steps to help your body learn the process.

First, we’ll charge the body with breath.

1. Sit comfortably on the floor.
   
2. Relax your jaw.
   
3. Yawn. Keep the back of your throat open.
   
4. Breathe using the Heart Breath (see
   chapter 4
   ). Breathe in through your mouth using as little effort as possible. Take in as much air as you can with the least possible effort.
   
5. Let go. Let the exhale simply fall out. Let it fall out with a sigh. This relaxed little sound will show that you aren’t pushing the breath out.
   
6. Keep your eyes open. Focus on a point somewhere in the room. You want to stay conscious with your breath and not nod off.
   
7. Keep breathing. If you want, you can gently rock back and forth with the breath. You can add Kegels. Make it erotic. Let it feel good. Just remember to stay with the breath.
   
8. Set a timer. Breathe for ten minutes—or twenty or thirty! The more you breathe, the more you charge up the body.
   
9. When you’re ready to do the Clench and Hold, take thirty or so fuller, faster breaths to really charge up.
   
10. Lie back on the floor.
    
11. Take a full, deep breath. Fill up your lungs from bottom to top. Then let it all go without forcing your breath out.
    
12. Take another full, deep breath, and let it go, gently and fully.
    
13. Take a third deep breath. Fill up with as much air as you can hold … and … hold that breath!
    
14. Now here’s the important part: as you’re holding in your third deep breath, clench every muscle in your body, especially your abdominal muscles, your butt muscles, and your PC muscle. It won’t matter much if your hands or your feet aren’t clenched, but if your abs, butt, and PC muscle aren’t clenched, the Clench and Hold won’t be as effective.
    

    There are a number of ways to do this clench.
    

    Lying on your back, you’ll want to make sure that you don’t put undue stress on your neck or lower back when you tense up, so take a moment and rehearse how you are going to clench before you start breathing. One good way to create the tension you’re looking for is to press down into the floor. Try it.
    

    Press down into the floor with your hands, shoulders, head, butt, legs, and feet.
    

    Alternatively, extend your body as far as it can go, and reach for opposite walls with your feet and hands.
    

    Or, pull in toward the center of your body as hard as you can—first clench your abs, and then pull the rest of your body in toward your abs.
    

    However you do it, make sure you don’t bring your knees up toward your stomach. This releases your abdominal muscles, and that’s exactly what you don’t want to do!
    

15. Keep clenching for about fifteen seconds, and then let go.
    
16. Now, here’s the hardest part of the Clench and Hold for most people: have no expectations. Don’t try to make anything happen. You have given yourself a huge gift of openness and energy. Just be.