Urges: Part Three (The Urges Series Book 3) (5 page)

“
And
I'm sorry about that. I take full responsibility for my own actions.
I should have never...we should have never,” he stutters.

“
No.
We shouldn't have ever. What happened between us was wrong, and it's
the reason I can't work for you again. Even if you said that nothing
like that would ever happen between us again, it wouldn't matter,
because the memories are there. Every time I see you, I'll think of
the things we did together. I don't want those memories haunting me.”
It feels like we're on my front porch all over again. Why am I having
to explain this to him a second time?

He's staring across
the desk at me, and I can see the professional side of him slipping
away. At this point, I'm pretty familiar with that dark look in his
eyes. It either means he's going to pounce or say something really
hurtful. I'm not sure if I can handle either right now. “I'd
like to say that I would take it all back if I could, but I wouldn't.
I feel connected to you, Fennel.”

My mouth falls
agape. Is this some strange, warped confession of attraction? If it
is, then he does a shitty job at being romantic. It doesn't matter
anyway. I'm stronger than I was before. The ship that carried
potential for something to happen between us has sailed. “Well,
I don't feel connected to you. Everything that happened between us
was wrong from the very beginning—from the first moment I met
you.”

“
You're
right.” He nods. “Everything has been wrong with us. I
want to make it right though, and offering you your job back is the
first step. I can take away some of your stress, and then we can work
on us.”

“
There
is no us.” I grit my teeth to hold back the scream of
frustration that's dangling in my throat. He thinks he can have
whatever he wants, but it's just not true. Maybe his good looks and
charming smile worked on me in the beginning, but the appeal has worn
off. Now, all I see is the man he is on the inside. Controlling and
twisted. I don't want anything to do with that.

“
There
could be an us, and I think you know that.”

“
I
don't.” I shake my head vehemently.

“
When
I met you that day in the hotel room, I figured you would probably be
up for anything. I could have taken you then, but I didn't. Then when
you showed up here, I thought it must be a twist of fate. I still
didn't put much stock in it though until you seduced me in my
office—”

“
What
happened in here was a fluke.” I point to the ground.

“
It
doesn't matter.” He grins as if he thinks he's winning me over.
“When you let me tie you down. When you looked at me so
desperately while you were lying on my desk—on this desk.”
He traces his fingertip across the top of his desk, and I feel my
clit pulse with desire that's completely out of place in the midst of
such a heated conversation. Does he really have this much sway over
my body, even when I'm angry at him? The thought absolutely
infuriates me. “I knew then that you were probably exactly what
I was looking for. And when I took you back to my house, and you
didn't freak out at the thought of letting me tie you up and have my
way with you, I knew you were my type of girl.”

I can't think about
everything that happened in his basement, the good or the bad. The
only thing my mind hones in on is when he told me to take the walk of
shame. “I'm not some fucking slut you can toy with and then
ditch, Trent.” My nails curl into my thighs as I fight back the
rage roiling through me. Nothing would make me happier right now than
to grab the nameplate from his desk and chuck it right at his head.

“
I
never said you were.” He furrows his brows. “That's not
what I meant.”

“
You
made it pretty damn clear that's what you meant when you told me to
take the walk of shame.”

Trent seems to
deflate. His eyes fall to his hands, and he looks remorseful. “I
only said that because I was trying to protect myself from the things
I was feeling. I don't typically let people get close to me. I
figured that if I pushed you away, everything would be alright
between us. I didn't expect that it would make you quit.”

“
Alright?
How could things possibly be alright after something like that? I
gave you my body. My trust. You threw it back in my face,” I
growl at him.

“
I
know. And I'm sorry.” He rests his forehead against his hands.
In this moments, it feels like he's cowering away, like I'm the
aggressor, and he's submitting to my wrath. Maybe he is. It doesn't
matter anymore.

“
You
know, I was actually enjoying spending time with you until you said
that. That one sentence killed anything that could have been between
us.” I feel the anger leave me as I realize he's finally
backing down. “Give me my check, so I can leave.” I nod
towards the door.

“
Please,
give me another chance,” he pleads.

“
You're
out of chances, Trent. I don't want you anymore.” The words
sound as hollow as I feel inside.

“
I
don't believe you.” He straightens in his chair, finding some
new-found determination.

“
I
don't care if you don't believe me,” I sigh out my aggravation.

“
Zelma
told me you were pining over me after our weekend in my basement.”
His expression is hard, as if he knows he's just pulled out his trump
card. Damn that woman. It's not like I was saying anything about him
that she wasn't. I'm sure she left that part out though. “That
means you still wanted me up to the point that I called you into my
office, and you quit. That means this can be fixed.” He's so
ripe with arrogance that it makes me want to vomit. Even after
everything we've said, he still thinks he can win me over. Not
happening.

I stand to show him
that I mean business. I'm not going to sit here and take this from
him anymore. “Mail me my check. I'm done with you.”

CHAPTER FOUR

“
What
do you know about hardware?” Kevin Pate, the hiring manager at
Hillenbrand Hardware asks me.

If you're not
talking about what's in a man's pants, then not much.
“
I'm
pretty good with a hammer and nails.”
And
getting nailed.
I
flash him a charming smile.

My mind has been in
the gutter ever since I left Trent's office. Sometimes, I feel like a
teenage boy, unable to control when I think about sex. Right now,
it's completely inappropriate. This guy is far from a sex symbol.
Mid-forties, rotund belly, balding scalp with a bad comb over. His
best feature is his smile, and even that leaves much to be desired,
thanks to a few missing teeth. At least, I won't have to worry about
being seduced by him if I do get the job. His desk is littered with
pictures of his wife and children.

“
Oh,
I suppose it doesn't matter much.” He waves his hand at me.
“You'll learn as you go. It's not like we'll be putting you on
construction projects.”

“
Well,
even if you do, I'm pretty good with my hands,” I let out a
short laugh, thinking of my palm wrapped around a nice, big cock.
Good grief, what's wrong with me?

“
It
looks like you have good tenure at most of your jobs. We're looking
for someone reliable. Though I have to ask, it says you weren't with
Chilly Creations, Inc. for very long. What happened there?” He
adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his wide nose as he looks across
his desk at me.

The question makes
me uncomfortable, but I expected it. I've gone over the answer in my
head a million times, but I still can't figure out how to make it not
sound suspicious. “Personal reasons.”

For a moment, I
think he's going to ask me to elaborate, but he doesn't. Instead, he
focuses on other parts of my resume. “It looks like you have
cash handling experience at your other two jobs.”

“
I
do.” I nod, thankful that he moved away from the subject of
Chilly Creations, Inc. so quickly.

“
That's
good. And you're obviously familiar with working with the public.”
His eyes scan across my job summaries.

“
I
am.”

“
What
do you hope to gain by working here?” He looks back up at me.
“I mean, what are your plans for the future?”

I take a deep
breath. In truth, my long-term future has been far from my thoughts
lately. All I want is to be able to afford to move out of my mother's
house. “Well, I'm hoping to settle in somewhere and work my way
up the ranks. I'd like to be a manager someday.”

He smiles warmly at
me. “It sounds like you have determination.”

“
I
like to think that I do.” Wrong answer. I should have said that
I know I do. Lack of confidence has never landed anyone a job.

“
Well.”
He leans back in his chair. “If you haven't noticed, we have an
entirely male staff here. I've been looking for a female employee to
diversify the place a little.”

I had noticed. It's
a small place with a small staff. Honestly, when I applied, I never
expected to get called in for an interview. In the handful of times
that I've been inside Hillenbrand Hardware, the only people I've seen
working behind the counter and on the floor were white men in their
fifties or older. This place has a lot more diversifying to do than
just me.

“
Well,
I'd be happy to help you with that.” I force the biggest smile
I can muster. Never before have I felt more confident that I got the
job. Kevin appears to be completely transparent about his desire to
want to hire me.

“
Good.
Then I'd love to have you on the team.” He beams, though the
corners of his mouth quickly sag as he searches for another paper on
his desk. “But first, we should go over some things. I'm sure
you'd like to know how much you're going to be paid and such.”

Naturally.
“
That
would be nice. As I indicated on my resume though, it doesn't really
matter. I'm just looking for something steady and stable.”

“
That's
good to hear.” He locates the paper he was searching for and
gives it a gentle shake to straighten the edges. “We start
everyone at minimum wage. Since we keep a pretty small staff, you
should get a full forty hours a week, and if someone calls in during
the week, there's a pretty good chance you'll be called in for
overtime.”

I nod in
acknowledgment, though inside, I'm sulking. Back to another crappy
minimum wage job. What should I expect though when I'm grasping at
straws, willing to work for whoever will take me.

Kevin continues,
“Since we are such a small locally owned business, we don't
offer medical insurance or a 401K. I wanted to be forthright with you
about that, because it's a big deal to some people.”

It should be a
bigger deal to his older employees. Not to me though. I'm still
young, and it's not like I really plan to make this place my career.
“That's fine.”

“
Good.”
He looks relieved. “Well, I think that's all we have to go
over. If you want the job, you've got it.”

“
I
can't wait to work for you.” I hold out my hand to shake his.
While I'm glad that I landed the job, I am a bit disappointed at
myself for settling. Oh well, perhaps this is the new, humble
beginning that I need.

***

“
Center
it in the middle of the wall.” I sit on my sofa and point to
the place where I want Gary to set my entertainment center.

My short-term goal
of moving out of my mother's house has finally been fulfilled. I've
only been working at Hillenbrand Hardware for a few weeks, but as
soon as I saved up enough money to detach my umbilical cord, I did.
Now I'm broke as a joke, but it doesn't matter, because I'm free
again.

“
Who
knew you'd have this much stuff.” Gary wipes the sweat from his
brow as soon as he finishes adjusting the entertainment center to my
liking. He's been a real doll—a Godsend. While a relationship
never bloomed between us, not in the romantic sense, we have loosely
become friends.

Every time I stop by
my mother's work, we talk, and we've even gone out for drinks
together once, which was a little awkward, but still kind of nice. He
seems like one of the good guys—one of the very few left in the
world. Always wanting to give a helping hand, even if that doesn't
leave much time for him to take care of his own business.