Us (16 page)

Chapter 24
– Elle

I went to go get Isabel first. I knocked, and she came to the door looking like she'd showered and changed clothes.
She was dressed the most casual I'd seen her, even if her jeans were Dior. Her dark hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that hung down the back of her black fitted t-shirt. She wore black moccasins on her feet, which upon closer examination I noticed were also Dior. Eh, casual? Yes. Still high end? Oh yeah.

"Hey, l
ady. You hungry? J cooked pasta."

"J cooked?"

I nodded. "Is that OK?"

"It's just, men don't cook where I come from."

"Welcome to the United States then!" I threw my arms out to welcome her to the land where men rarely cooked, but I'd scored one who did, despite the fact that I cooked for a living. Or I used to...

We walked over to Fernie's door and I knocked.

"Just a minute!" I heard shit knocking around in Fernie's room.

"What the hell," I muttered.

"We ran into each other when I was coming out of the bathroom." Isabel said it straight faced, staring into my eyes. I saw the corner of her mouth quiver like she was struggling to keep a smile from forming. I beat her to it and burst out laughing. She soon joined in, and we stood outside Fernie's room holding our stomachs.

"Get your ass across the hall when you're finished!" I pounded on Fernie's door and turned to go into my room. J was sitting on the bed lost in a daze. What was going on in that sexy head of his?

I started dishing out pasta and passing bowls around. I offered Isabel the chair, while I sat next to J on the bed. We ate in silence for a while, no one feeling the need to share. We'd just spent the last twenty four hours together, and then some. There wasn't too much else to say. J and I could talk all day, but it was things that we only shared in private—our fears, our desires, our love, and our lives.

When Fernie walked in, we were still eating in silence. He looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I contemplated sitting there and staring at him a bit longer, making him sweat it out, but I took pity on the kid. Isabel was beautiful and he was seventeen. Maybe I was feeling generous as well considering I was alive and sitting next to the love of my life.

Oh fuck. I had a
love of my life
!

I stood up before I
hyperventilated.

"You want some pasta, Fernie?" He nodded and I dished him up a plate from on top of the dresser. He sat on the floor as far from Isabel as possible.

"Do we have any drinks, dear?"

"Shit. Sorry. I forgot about drinks. I'm sure there's beer. Other than that is a crapshoot. Want me to grab four?"

I looked around and everyone nodded. Once alone in the room with Isabel and Fernie, I felt the overwhelming urge to laugh. It wasn't funny. I mean, it was, but not for them. Isabel didn't want to be the sex goddess she was. Fernie didn't want a constant hard on, and it seemed neither wanted to get too close to one another. We were about to hunt a man down and kill him, and these two had sexual tension written in Sharpie across their foreheads. Sue me. It was funny.

"Here you go," J said, coming into the room
and passing out three cans of Miller Light. It was better than Coors Light, but I would've killed for a Labatt's.

I put my beer between my crossed legs and scooted back onto the bed. Plate in hand, I devoured the pasta, not realizing how hungry I was. Without saying anything, J put his beer and food on the nightstand, and got up. He brought the pot over and refilled  my plate. For a hot minute, I wanted to cry. My emotions were all over the place, one minute wanting to laugh and the next being so moved by such a simple gesture that I was about to burst into tears. Fuck, I needed to get a grip. In the days that would come, I couldn't let my emotions dictate my actions. I needed to use my head to decide what to do.

I nodded my thanks to J, who sat down on the bed next to me and continued eating his food. Isabel cracked her beer like a pro, and Fernie inhaled his food. It was a very interesting scene.

"Is it cool if I take this back to my room?" Fernie held up his unopened beer, and stood up to put his plate on the dresser.

"Sure, kid." The words barely left J's mouth before Fernie darted out of the room.

"Well that was uncomfortable." Isabel looked up from her half eaten plate, and drank half her beer in one swallow. "
Can I have another one of these?" She held up her can to J.

J left the room, leaving me alone with Isabel. I was still reciting the national anthem in my head in attempts to keep my
overly emotional mind in neutral territory when Isabel spoke.

"Are they all going to be like that?"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like Fernie? Desiring me, but scared to be around me?"

"More than likely, but I'm sure it's worse with Fernie. He's young. Or maybe it will be worse with the men cuz they'll just say what's on their mind." Isabel looked at me with knowing eyes, but I said it anyway. "Sex. It's always on their mind."

"Is it on J's? With you, I mean?"

I thought for a second before answering. Before I met J, every guy up in the club looked at me with the
I'll fuck you if you let me
eyes. I never wanted to let them, but I accepted it as the way things were. Men were raunchy, scandalous, lust-filled creatures—at least before J they all were. Yet, J was no saint, nor was I. I'm pretty sure he thought about sex frequently. I know I did. It was different with him, though. There were feelings involved. It was more than just fucking, more than just a way to pass the night, more than just an after-party. I wondered for a second if he was always like this, or if he'd changed for me? Had I changed for him? Had our love for one another changed us both?

"You are deep in thought, no?" Isabel smirked at me.
I'd been lost in my head for longer than I realized.

"I guess J probably thinks about sex a lot, but so do I. I think I've had more sex with him than all the men in my life put together. And it's the best sex." I sounded like a dreamy school girl, but it was the best damn sex I'd ever had. "Let's change the subject before my panties get
wet." I wasn't wearing any. They were hanging in the bathroom. I think she got my drift, though.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Everything and nothing." Isabel looked at me perplexed. "Tell me about your favorite books." That seemed like neutral territory.

"Oh, I love the rocker books. Have you read The Blowhole Boys?"

"By Tabatha Vargo?" Isabel nodded. "Yes! I loved Zeke! He was so tortured, but so was the heroine. Have you read the Sinners on Tour?"

"
Ay dios mío
, yes. I love Brian!"

"It was Jase for me, but Brian will always have a place in my heart since he was book one. What about Bullet, by Jade C. Jamison? God, my heart bled for Valerie."

"No, I haven't read that one. Have you read Shocking Heaven by D.H. Sidebottom?"

"Babe!" She laughed at
the Jax reference and his excessive use of the word
babe
that every reviewer mentioned. It could've been annoying, but worked in the context of the story.

"Yes. The babe was a bit
much, but I loved Jax anyway. And Evie's story was so good. It touched my heart. And that ending!"

"Yep," I agreed.
"Evie's story was one that stays with you. CM Stunich wrote a good rocker series called Hard Rock Roots, but it's super gritty."

"What is gritty?" Eh, how to explain gritty?
My life? That was gritty. This situation, also gritty. Burns' MC—gritty as fuck. I didn't want to scare her, though again, I couldn't imagine as the niece of a Zeta leader she was a stranger to the grittier side of life. The side where there were no white picket fences, no neighborhood watch, no one to save you...

"Well
, it definitely wasn't rainbows and unicorns. The heroine is hardcore, aggressive, and she smokes and swears like sailor. There is more to it than just the music though. The storyline is really strong. I was on the edge of my seat the whole book, and the second one too. I haven't read the third yet, but it's on my giant
to be read
list."

"Hmmmm. No, but I want to check out this gritty book of yours. Were you able to download anything on my Kindle?"

Ah, perfect moment.

"Yes. I downloaded a series actually by Kristen Ashley called the Dream Man series. The last book is the best in my opinion."

I slid that last part in there, hoping she would actually read all four so she could get to Tack and his MC. It seemed she liked the rockers, maybe she'd like the MCs too, or at least I hoped she did. If nothing else, it would give her a glimpse into the life she was currently surrounded by.

We continued on like this, going back and forth about books until J r
eturned. We were cracking up about the vibrator scene in the This Man series, and how we both learned all kinds of UK terminology through those books. J seemed pleased we were getting along and having a good time.

"I brought
a few extra." I looked at the six pack of Labatt's in his hand and started clapping.

"How'd you get the beer chronic?" I asked.

"P. You can make a prospect do anything." J was nonchalant in his response. I found myself again realizing that reading about something and living it were two different things. Would I get used to this? Would I end up like Winter in Crystal Spear's Breakneck series? All of these questions swirled through my mind as J, Isabel, and I drank our beers and joked around.

It was comfortable. Isabel wasn't Chris, but it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone I had something in common with. Chris didn't read the way I did. She read fashion magazines, always looking for new ideas to try out on willing victims at the MAC counter. If she was high enough, she would listen to me go on and on about fictional characters, but mostly she just nodded. Isabel was someone who read too, and could laugh with me about some of the funnier things we'd read, the good books, the awful books, and the books that stayed with you well past that final swipe of the Kindle page. Even though I was having a good time, I found myself missing Chris more and more.

When the beer was almost gone and we were all good and buzzed, Isabel took her leave saying she was ready to fall into bed and sleep for the next week or so.

"Should I take the extra beer to Fer
nie?" J and I both looked at the beer left in the bucket of ice J's prospect had procured, and then looked at each other. We broke into laughter at the same time.

"That's very nice of you, Isabel, but I'll take it to him
later if he's still awake."

"OK. We never talked about me, I mean what is going to happen to me."

"Man, I'm sorry. I totally forgot. I'll be talking to someone tomorrow in Mexico and let you know."

"OK." I couldn't tell if Isabel's OK was a
that's cool
or a
that sucks
OK. It dawned on me that her future was as unwritten as mine at that moment. We were both living day to day, waiting to see what was going to happen next, not in full control of our destinies, and surrounded by men we didn't know. She was even more in the dark since I had J with me and was in my home country.

I was still thinking of Isabel and feeling sad for her when J took my beer out of my hand and set it on the dresser.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I shrugged. "Just thinking about how uncertain Isabel's future is. It's gotta be hard for her not knowing what tomorrow or the next day, or the next week even, will hold."

"Are you thinking about your future too?"

I shrugged again, not wanting to talk about my future or the ambiguity of it. J didn't comment, but lifted me up off the bed and started undressing me. With great care and no rush, he slipped his hands under the MM hoodie I had on and ran his hands up my sides. When he realized
I didn't have a bra on, the sweatshirt came off, leaving my breasts exposed and needy. He kneeled down, licking and sucking his way from my neck to my hardened nipples and down to my stomach. I sucked in breaths, feeling the sudden desire to have his hands on every inch of my skin. As if hearing my silent plea, he continued exploring my sensitive flesh with his hands and used his teeth to unbutton my jeans. Bringing his hands down the curve of my lower back, he pushed into the jeans, cupping my bare bottom with his hands.

J
moaned against my skin, realizing I'd been sitting there all evening with no bra or panties on. They were hanging in the bathroom, but maybe he didn't see them, or maybe he was living in the moment. Fuck, I switched my mind off and decided there was no other place I wanted or needed to be except this moment. Our moments were fleeting, and the lack of insight I had into our future forced me to focus on the now. This moment. His touch. His mouth edging closer to my pussy. My jeans on the floor. Him laying me on the bed, naked, exposed, and desperate for more—more of me.

These were my thoughts, my only thoughts, as he worshiped my body. I felt like a Queen, and he was my King giving me everything I could think of.
His movements were languid, his hands moving all over my body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He moved his head between my legs and it was like an explosive was lit. The flame started at my head and slowly moved down my burning flesh. I was on fire, and when the heat reached my pussy, I exploded as J nipped my clit with his teeth.