Vagabond (33 page)

“Anything else? Why would Zeus punish him for this? Knowledge. It’s a good thing, right?” The class grew silent and thought it through. No one was willing to give it a shot. “Nikomedes.”

“It wasn’t about the knowledge. It was about the power knowledge gives. Zeus didn’t think humans could handle the responsibility of knowledge— that they’d try to become gods themselves through the cultivation of this knowledge, and he’d lose his throne. He wanted humans to remember that knowledge had consequences… it may feel freeing at first, but it chains you to something more devastating— the realization that truth is never permanent. This can be very overwhelming to the weak-minded.”

Agathon hooted. “Who’s on a soap-box now, brainiac McGoo.”
 

The class laughed. “If we are going to insult each other, can we at least make them intelligent insults?” Aeschylus redirected the laughter away from me, and nodded subtly in my direction to tell me I got it right… again.
 

“Subject 4532. Petrakis, Paramonos. The 12
^th
.” Claire read over me. Her breathing was a steady flow of soft air puffs, and I felt them land on my shoulder. On the first page, there were twenty names across twenty different Colonies. They were in two columns that went side by side.
 

“Subject 4533. Kostas, Nikomedes. The 18
^th
.” I read. I thought of Ono’s eyes. They took in everything. They figured out everything. “He’s a genetic pain in the ass,” I whispered. We both were.
 

Ono laughed. “I can be smart too, you know.”
 

“Really? Could have fooled me.”
 

“I know things.” He raised his eyebrows. He was happy, and there was a bounce to his step that I didn’t understand.
 

“Like how to be a pain in the ass?”

“What’s NPTN?” Claire asked. “I hated learning about genetics.” She pointed to the G.E.G.'s logo snuggled in the top corner of the paper.
 

“Be sure you give this to Celeste,” I said.

“What’s NPTN?” Claire repeated.
 

“If your mother is looking for proof that the G.E.G. Is overstepping, you have it in your hands right now.”
 

“I don’t understand.”
 

“Paramonos and I were partnered.” I pointed to our names side by side. I flipped to the third page and saw the plan in greater detail. “According to this, they went in and modified our NPTN— the gene that is linked to intelligence.” I said it scientifically. I said it coldly. I pretended in my head that I was reading just another lab report, and not something incriminating my genetic line. I was an abomination. I was an atrocity— an unsanctioned experiment. “Everyone on this list? Their offspring may produce children with super-human intelligence.” I thought of my mice. I thought of my rabbits. I thought of all my experiments that led to generational progress.
 

“How do you know this?”
 

I laughed. It was a ridiculous laugh. “That son of a bitch tried to tell me!”

“Niko?”

Aeschylus. He tried to tell me!

Aeschylus whooped. “You have a true gift, Nikomedes.”
 

The simulator bled in colors and letters and showed the link to transplant eye-sight abilities between animals and humans.
 

“What made you think on it?”

“My eyes, actually. They’ve been getting tired staring at this screen half a day.” I laughed.
 

“It had nothing to do with that field excursion to the zoology lab last week?”

“Caught me. I never knew lions could see five-times farther than us. It made me jealous.”
 

Aeschylus sighed, and pawed at the screen to zoom into it. “Do you really think it’s possible?”

“Possible? Yes. Responsible? No.”
 

“What if I told you…” He stopped himself.
 

“Told me what?”

He shook his head. “There’s rumors, you know. That they’ve already begun experiments. Remember that article on NPTN we co-authored? Well, there’s rumors that even before we solidified the discovery of the manipulation, they’d practiced it already.”
 

“That’s insane!” I said. “They wouldn’t modify things that drastically. Especially without proof that it’d work! What would that do? Destroy an entire genetic line?”

“Think on it for a second. Why would enhancing intelligence before any other trait be desirable?”

I thought on it. I stared at the letters that blurred on the screen before I settled on a hypothesis to present. “Intelligence is the first thing that leads to knowledge. If those rumors are true, then the people they’ve experimented on could lead to more discoveries in genetic modification and scientific advancement. It’ll speed up the process and amplify the chances that we’ll be able to add more beneficial traits sooner than later.”
 

“Interesting assumption, my brilliant girl.”
 

Chapter Twenty Two

The rain started to pour down in gloopy drops when Claire and I parted ways. They landed heavy in my hair and soaked into my clothes. She disappeared into the freight yard, and I began my journey out of the Colony. I planned on hopping a freight on the move. I needed to walk a few things out of my system. I needed movement to clear my head.
 

After a while, it was time. The train was quick to come and slow to leave. It inched along like a lazy snail, but I was getting on it just the same. I ran with the cars. I focused on my grip so it wouldn’t slip on the wet metal, and threw myself into the open door of the car. It was empty and all mine.
 

For a while, I sat with my feet dangling out of the car.
 
It was one of the few times I was thankful for my stubby legs. They hung well above the ground as I sat. It wasn’t a harsh rain, and droplets whipped against me. I sucked on the hose of my water bladder. The lukewarm hot was not as refreshing as I needed it to be, and my stomach rumbled angrily. Despite it all, I felt brave.
 

I hoped Ono was okay. I hoped that whatever they had in store for him was kind. Would they ever partner him? Would he come back out here to look for me? How could he know that whatever we created together would be an abomination? How could he know that we, ourselves, were genetic abominations? Our advantages were not natural, and the Republic had intended to use us for different purposes. He was a Military Prodigy. I was a Genetic Genius. I wished I’d looked at the other Colonies and figured out the industries they were popular for before handing the documents over to Claire. I wondered how the Republic nurtured each person to be geniuses in specific fields to benefit Humanity. Aeschylus used to work for the G.E.G. Was he more than what he seemed? Was he sent to “nurture” my talents personally?
 

But then, I realized it didn’t matter. I didn’t need to figure out my past, because all that mattered now was where I was headed.
 

The fields moved past me, and so did memories.
 

They filled me full of missing.
 

And I missed everyone.
 

I missed Mama.
 

“It’s a healthier snack for when you study,” Mama said. She sliced the peaches and placed them on the dehydrator. I kept wanting to eat each slice she set down, and she slapped my hand playfully every time I reached for one to put in my mouth.
 

“Instead of being a nuisance, why don’t you help cut, my bratty child?” She smiled in ways that only existed on her face. The way the sunlight landed on her cheeks through the window softened her features, and there was perfection in everything imperfect about her.
 

I grabbed another knife and cutting board to help, but when the peach met my hand, the soft skin looked too inviting. I ripped my teeth into it and held it in my mouth in defiance. I must have looked ridiculous, because all Mama could do was enter into an incurable laughter.
 

I missed Daddy.
 

“Pump your legs, hon. It’ll make you go higher.”
 

“Higher?” I squeaked.
 

I couldn’t imagine the swing going any higher than it already was. Daddy’s soft hands pushed at me every time I swung back, but I was already high enough.
 

“Yes. Just move your body with the swing. It adds weight to the momentum.”
 

“I don’t want to.”
 

Daddy laughed. “It’s okay, Niko. You can do it. You can do anything and everything.”
 

I missed Randolf.
 

“Go on! Try it,” Randolf insisted.
 

“Rabbit? No way!”

“You’re telling me, you had no idea this was in store when we set up the trap?”

“I didn’t much think about it. I was just so excited to catch one. I thought we’d—“

“What? Turn it into a pet?”
 

I laughed. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen animals skinned before. We did autopsies all the time on failed and successful experiments. I guess it was just that the rabbits in a lab were in cages from the moment I saw them. They were subjects. I watched this one hop about, wiggle its nose, and lose its freedom. It made me sympathetic towards it.
 

“Fine. Give me a leg,” I said.
 

I missed Celeste.
 

“Whoooooahhhh! Niko! You got it!” Celeste screamed.
 

The train picked up speed, and my hair bit at my face. My heart raced and scurried past me, and Celeste danced up next to me. We were surfing the train, holding our balance against all the forces pushing against us.
 

I stood up and spread my arms against the wind. It almost felt like the steady gusts would pull me away so I could soar through the clouds like a bird— like my laughter.
 

“I’m doing it!” I yelled. My knees were bent. My balance was steady. “I’m doing it!”

I missed Polo.

“Hey!” Mari screamed.
 

“Gottcha!” Polo laughed and ran.
 

The mud dripped down Mari’s face and onto the shirt she just scrubbed. Then, the same fate met me. I reached up into my hair and felt the gooey blob of wet dirt.
 

“You’re going to die!” Mari yelled and began to chase him into the river.
 

I followed suit. I reached in and dug my fingers into the muddy bank. The dirt wedged into my nails and the crevices of my fingers as I balled it, retracted my arm, and aimed.
 

It was a pretty good shot. I got him square on the forehead.
 

I even missed Aeschylus.
 

“Happy birthday, Nikomedes!”
 
He pointed to a box that rested on top of my mouse cage.
 

“What’s this? It’s not like you to give presents.”
 

The old man laughed. “It is now. Just open it.”
 

I tore through the brown paper. A white lab coat was folded into it. I pulled it out and admired the fabric of it.
 

“You can’t wear that ratty thing to your interview,” Aeschylus said as he tugged at the stained collar of the coat I had on.
 

“Hey! You were the one who spilled the— Wait. What? Interview?”

“You have a chance at an internship at the G.E.G. next summer. That’s the other part of your present.”
 

Being alone did funny things to the brain. There was no one there to distract me from my thoughts. There was no one there to help me figure out what it all meant.

 
Xavi wanted to explain, but I didn’t want to hear.

He’d been all I heard for too long, and I needed him out of my head or I’d never be able to think for myself.
 

His thumb moved along my cheek, and his forehead touched mine. It never got old… the look Xavi wore in his eyes for me. He picked me up and set me on the branch of the tree. I sat there, with my arms around his neck and fell into the kiss.
 

There are certain things you learn about kissing. You learn that talking can be useless and thinking can be painful. You learn how to breath without breathing. You learn how to close your eyes but see everything.
 

With Xavi, I thought I could see it all. With Xavi, I thought I could have it all.
 

West. I was headed west. I could almost taste the salt on my lips. I could almost feel the sun on my skin. It was the heat I craved, and I wanted to burn off everything that held my heart frozen in fear.
 

I wanted to choose the things I feared for once— control them the way they once controlled me. I knew I wouldn’t be good at it at first, but I was willing to give it a go
 

I opened my eyes to the moonlight that filtered through the tracks. Lines of pale light alternated on Ono’s chest, and I gasped. I’d fallen asleep with my head nuzzled between his arm and torso.

I couldn’t move. I just stared. I listened to him breathing, and it was soft and sweet. I felt his heat against my bare skin, and I suddenly wanted more. I traced lines on his chest with my fingers, and he stirred. “Hey there,” he whispered. But I swallowed his words with a kiss.
 

And that kiss swallowed both of us again, for the second time that night.
 

Nothing but everything existed between us under the tracks.
 

I thought of no one else. I carried no burdens. No guilts. No shame.