Valley Of Glamorgan (38 page)

“Can you help me with the groceries?”
requested a woman’s voice. She sounded tart and acidic.

“Yes dear,” he replied sounding defeated but
as he got up from the chair he tried to catch the picture as it
fell but it was too late.

The woman snatched the picture up from the
floor crying out, “This again?” then she tore it in half, looking
smug, “You made your choice when you married me! Now make yourself
useful and get the groceries.”

Doing as she asked he went outside to the
car, stopping and looking up at the sky. “God,” he asked, “Why did
I choose the wrong woman. Was it that I was so afraid to love, to
take the chance,” and he shook his head before squaring his
shoulders and grabbing the bags he carried them inside. As he
placed them on the table he whispered to him, “That was the last
picture I had of her.” It was a very sad vision; the man was worn
down and depressed. It didn’t hit me hard or trigger the water
works the way the baby bear had but I got the message. It was
telling me to be careful whom I chose to love because I wouldn’t
want to live the rest of my life wishing I had chosen someone
else.

The vision made my decision about the Declan
situation a lot harder than I had thought, but then weren’t all
matters of the heart hard? As with the other images and lessons
they had taught me this was telling me the decision was my own to
make and it presented several different paths. All I had to do was
choosing the right one or forging my own. This definitely wasn’t
going to be something I could fix in one night.

I then noticed for the first time, a small
black leather suit case lying by the bed. I opened it and was happy
to see a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I loved lounging in
sweats and now was a perfect time as I was alone. With no-one is
here to judge me. Stepping into the shower I let the hot water beat
over my sore muscles. It seems that because of the shifting your
bones and muscles twist and turn in ways that cause you to cry out
in pain, leaving you feeling a little swore the following day. My
whole body certainly felt bruised; although it was nothing like the
pain that had radiated through me during the ceremony. I wondered
if everyone went through this and if so, did they experience same
kind of the visions? The one thing I knew for certain was that
no-one else had had their appearance changed so drastically. It
would take me some time to get used to having blonde hair. It was
something I thought looked great on some people, but feared it made
me look washed out against my pale skin. Strangely enough as for
the eyes I was starting to grow to like having both bright
colors.

Washing my body with a body sponge I
discovered another body altering surprise as there on the left side
of my stomach was a tattoo of sorts. It was the word “Roghnaithe”
in a very pretty curvy style. I had no clued what it meant so made
a mental note to ask someone when I returned home. It felt odd
having a tattoo; especially one I hadn’t picked but oddly enough it
was the least strange thing about the change to my appearance and
at least I could hide this under my clothing. As I showered I
wondered what everyone was saying about me. Had they watched my
hair turn blonde or my eyes change color; I was growing antsy as I
needed to talk to them. There had been no more visions since the
last one, and I wasn’t in pain so why couldn’t I go home?

Once dried and dressed I opened the front
door and went outside to sit on the steps of the porch. It felt
amazing to be outside. I could see the bright green of the grass
and the glare of the hot sun. It felt as if it had been a long time
since I been able to sit outside and stare at the world around me.
Sitting I took in all of the things that most people take for
granted; I know I did before I went blind. I wouldn’t say that the
blindness was a gift as it had taken so much away from me but the
ball of light had given me so much in return.

Feeling hungry I noticed my sense of smell
reached a lot farther than it used to as I could smell the food
cooking around the village. The herbs and soups made my stomach
growl in obvious hunger. Having no clue what there was to eat I
made my way back into the cabin and discovered the refrigerator.
Inside there was a large black pot which I pulled out of the
fridge. Opening it I was thrilled to discover it was a giant pot of
my mother’s Carrot soup; one of my favorites. Taking a bowl down
from the cabinet I made myself a large bowl of soup by popping it
in the microwave for a few seconds. Strangely I happen to like it
lukewarm so that some of the carrot pieces are still cool.

Taking the bowl outside I almost dropped in
when I saw a large grey wolf standing in front of the cabin
watching me intently. ‘He must be hungry,’ I thought to myself so I
went inside to find a single pack of luncheon meat. Carrying it
out, I began feeding him but kept my distance at first by throwing
the lunch meat out in front of me. But each time he kept crawling
closer until eventually he was eating the meat pieces out of my
hand, his rough tongue scraping against my hand in approval. He was
beautiful. Slowly I reached down and ran my hands along his fur; I
don’t know how I knew it but he wasn’t one of us, he was a real
pure breed animal, yet I could communicate with him in a way I
didn’t know was possible. As I got to the bottom of the luncheon
meat packet he licked his snout, gave me a nod as if to say thank
you and then he trotted away. ‘I wished I had someone to share this
moment with,’ I thought, ‘No-one is going to believe me.”

I remained sat outside for the remainder of
the day. Two stray cats and three large birds approached me, all
letting me stroke them lovingly and I feed them with what I could
find lying around the cabin. I felt like Dr. Doolittle, or some
such person.

Getting up I walked around feeling the grass
beneath my feet and the air around me, so much more clearly. It was
as if all of my senses were heightened. I could see further than
ever before and I could hear rocks popping on the gravel road miles
away as the cars drove down them slowly so as not mess up the paint
or suspension of their vehicles.

As the day passed I found myself wondering
what would happen to me when I had my first animal transition and
what would I transform into? I was hoping Willow or someone else
had the answers to all of the questions I would ask when I could
finally go home. As the day ended I walked into the cabin and
laying down I planned on just resting my eyes but quickly fell
asleep.

Even though the visions had felt like
dreams, I welcomed a real dream when it arrived. I hadn’t dreamt
since the night I stayed at Sal’s home and that had been the most
uncomfortable dream I had ever had. And, of course every night
after that it was just darkness.

In my dream I was in a field of flowers;
they were bright and beautiful sunflowers and as I walked through
them I was careful not to wreck the steams. Then I heard a voice
calling from behind me, “The blonde hair suits you.” As I turned
there was no-one there.

Shaking the feeling off, I continued walking
then I heard the voice again. “I never imagined you for the tattoo
type.” Looking down I saw that I had a belly-shirt on and the
tattoo was on display.

Looking around again, I found the owner of
the voice; it was Declan. “You look beautiful,” he said, running
his hands through my newly blonde hair. “Your eyes,” he said,
smiling that brilliant smile I had missed so much. He pressed his
lips hungrily to mine and I followed suit, pulling his body close
to mine. Suddenly he pulled away from me, his smile twisting
nastily and an angry scowl appearing across his forehead. “What is
he doing here,” he asked, pointing behind me.

As I turned around I saw a faceless man
standing behind me. He had strong arms but that was all I could
make out as the rest of him was a blur. “Banphrionsa,” he said in a
familiar voice and I knew instantly who it was and why he didn’t
have a face. But how could he have one when I had never seen him.
It was Lorcan, but what was he doing here? The figure was pulling
me towards him, saying, “You are meant to be with me; you know it
in your heart.”

Pulling away I stood between him and Declan.
Both stared at me as if waiting for me to decide who to follow.
What was I to do? Which was I supposed to turn to? I was
confused.

Waking up in a heavy sweat I opened the
window but it didn’t bring me any relief as it was a hot
uncomfortable night. Pulling the window closed I sat in the chair.
I must have slept for almost the entire night as the sun was
beginning to peek above the horizon the next time I woke. Despite
the sleep it felt as if I hadn’t actually rested, probably because
of the strange dream. It seemed my mind was trying to force me to
make a decision when my heart wasn’t ready.

Rising from the chair I walked into the
bathroom and running cool water I started splashing handfuls of it
onto my face; it relieved my skin from the heat momentarily. I told
myself two days done only one more to go.

Rummaging through the suitcase I was very
happy to see that my mother had placed my laptop inside. Although I
didn’t have an internet connection all the way out here so I
couldn’t contact anyone, at least I could watch some of the movies
I had downloaded onto it, which would help pass the time so much
quicker. Pouring myself a bowl of carrot soup I wondered how long I
could carry on eating it before I grew tired of it.

Taking the laptop outside I placed it on the
small table sat on the porch. As the morning sun rose I watched
three movies and played six games of mine sweeper. To be honest I
had never really understood the game but at least it gave me
something to do. I felt as if I wasn’t spending my time here the
way I should have been, by figuring out who I was or who I wanted
to become, it just seemed as if there was so much to figure out in
just three short days.

Deciding to lay down I settled on to the
cool tall grass and looked up at the sky, feeling one with the
earth around me. Then I heard light footsteps approaching. I could
smell him before he reached me; it was the same grey wolf as the
day before. Lying down beside me he seemed to trust me to be so
close to him. Reaching out I carefully ran my hands through his fur
again, enjoying the feel of his soft fur. We laid there together
for the rest of the evening and I thought how surreal it all was.
Here I was lying all alone, surrounded by nothing but the forest
with a wild animal next to me he could kill me at any moment, yet
he just lay there, trusting and loving, enjoying my company as I
did his. I really didn’t understand why or how this was happening
yet I knew for certain it had something to do with the ceremony.
Slowly I was changing into something, I could feel it in every bone
of my body, but what was it?

As the sun began to go down I was sorry to
see the wolf leave. This was my last night here in the cabin and
oddly there was sadness about me as I would miss the freedom of
having spent the days with the wildlife around me.

Lying in bed for hours, breathing in the
deep rich smell of nature all around me, that night it began to
rain. Water poured down onto the roof, making a loud pop, pop
noise. Then the thunder rolled angrily outside and at any other
time or place I would be scared, yet I wasn’t. And that was because
I found the strength to pull through the storm from the nature
around me. I thought about my wolf, out there in the woods, getting
soaked by the heavy rain and I hoped he would be alright. He was
strong and brave and would probably out live me, so underneath I
knew he would be okay. With these thoughts in mind I finally
drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The following morning I was woken by
knocking at the door! I squeaked in excitement, for even though I
hated the thought of leaving this place I was ready for answers and
to see my family and friends. I knew I had a lot of amends to make
as well.

Standing up from the bed I ran my hand
through my hair and taking a deep breath, I answered the door.
Immediately being pulled into a tight hug by Maggie, my wonderful
sister, who was standing in front of me saying, “I am so happy to
see you.”

Hugging her back I agreed it was so good to
see her. Then putting me at arm’s length she looked me over and
gasped, “Wow, you look beautiful.”

Laughing I asked, “You don’t think the hair
is too much?”

But, before she could answer Knoll walked
onto the porch saying, “I have always preferred blondes,” and
laughing too he pulled me into a tight hug. I couldn’t explain how
nice it was to have my sister and him here.

It seemed my parents hadn’t come to visit
me; which was odd and unlike them. I asked, “Where are mom and
dad?”

I directed the question to Maggie who
responded with, “They wanted to be here but they have been dealing
with the chaos in the village. People are going crazy over your
ceremony! Everyone is so thrilled; they have been throwing parties
in the center of the village for the last three days.”

Surprised I decided I would get to that
later. I thought as my eyes caught someone walking up the path,
heading right for the cabin. My heart began to beat faster and my
palms grew sweaty; it was him.

It took me a mere two seconds to make my
choice. “It is him,” I whispered to myself, “I know he is the one I
must choose”…………….

The End for Now...