Vampires Need Not...Apply? (11 page)

“What are you doing, Zac?” Penelope whimpered.

“You will forget him, Penelope. You want to be with m—”

Ixtab burst through the door. “Zac, stop.”

Zac’s turquoise eyes broke with Penelope’s absent gaze and then fixed on Ixtab.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ixtab growled.

He looked at Penelope and released her. “We were talking.”

“Like hell you were.” Ixtab stormed between the two, careful not to touch Penelope. She removed her veil to stare up into her brother’s irate face. “You were using your gift on her, weren’t you?”

“No. It’s okay, Ixtab,” Penelope said from behind.

Zac was a good foot taller and infinitely stronger, but Ixtab had other gifts. Ones her brothers and sisters knew not to mess with. And she didn’t mean knitting.

Ignoring Penelope, Ixtab stood on her tiptoes. “You weren’t
just
talking, and we both know it.”

Zac made a little shrug and crossed his arms over his chest.

“How long have you known your gift?” Ixtab asked.

He smiled and his eyes twinkled. No wonder Penelope couldn’t resist him. His smell. His body. He was like honey and human women were like bees. How could they, the gods, have missed it? Zac’s attractiveness and magnetism were ten times that of any normal deity, which said a lot considering how humans threw themselves at the gods. But Zac, he had an extra helping of irresistibility.

“Zac, go home. Now!” Ixtab commanded.

“I’m not leaving without Penelope. I love her, and she’s mine,” he said.

“No. You want to possess her. That’s not love. And if you try to take her, then you’ll have to go through me, and it won’t be pretty.” Ixtab raised her hands, and Zac backed away.

“Then you’ll go down with me if you use your powers against my will,” he said smugly.

Ixtab shrugged. “Ask me if I give a rat’s ass. Remember, I’ve got nothing to lose, and I hate my role. Let them banish me and take away my powers. It would be the vacay I’ve been praying for.”

To prove her point, she swiped at Zac’s chest.

Zac jumped back and growled as he turned for the front door. “This isn’t over, Ixtab.” He slammed the door behind him.

Ixtab swiped her veil and covered her head before turning to Penelope. “You okay?”

Penelope shook her head and placed her hand over her stomach. “I don’t know. I don’t feel… right.”

“It’ll wear off in a few hours.” Ixtab turned and glared at the front door.

Idiot.
She’d have to bring this up at the next summit. Zac had gone too far. Not only had he known his gift and not told the others, but he used it on Penelope without permission. This was a violation of their most sacred law. Yep, right up there with no time travel. And wearing pants at the summit table.
Okay, maybe that last one isn’t sacred, but it should be.

Penelope turned and headed for the door. “I need to go after him. I need to talk to Zac—”

“Penelope, it’s not real. Zac used his powers on you and likely has been doing it for a while.”

Penelope reached the door, ignoring Ixtab, and pulled the handle.

“Zac isn’t the God of Love as we suspected, he’s the God of Temptation,” Ixtab blurted out. “And I’d bet my best pair of flip-flops, he compelled Kinich to want your blood more than anything on the planet.”

* * *

“I did what you asked, Cimil. And not only didn’t it work, but Ixtab discovered us.” Zac stared out the tinted window from the back of the limo at the passing cars, talking into his phone.

“Hmmm. That does sound like a furry pickle,” Cimil replied.

“This isn’t a fucking joke! I’ve lost her. And I’ll be tried for treason. This is all your fucking fault. Why the hell did I listen to you?”

“Roberto! The microwave is beeping!” Cimil cleared her throat. “Sorry, Zac, my potpie is ready. Where was I?”

Cimil was so damned lucky he didn’t know where she was. Otherwise, he’d go there now and squeeze the life right out of her.

“Let me think. I’ve lost the only woman I’ve ever loved!” Zac bellowed. “That’s where we fucking were! And after seventy thousand years, I finally discovered my gift only to face banishment. Oh yeah. And they’ll strip away my powers!”

“Banishment? Strip power? That sounds awful. What the heck did you do?” she asked.

She was going to play the “I’m Stupid” game, was she? “I’m going to kill you, Cimil. And then, when you get a new body, I’ll kill you again.”

“Now, now, brother. Calm down. You don’t see Minky getting in a tizzy when things don’t go her way.”

“Minky is a unicorn.”
Strangle, strangle, strangle her…

“Shhhh… She might hear you. Minky thinks she’s a vampire who turns into a bat. How else would she be able to fly? Anyhooooo, the truth is that I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” he asked.

“The truth. I didn’t want to tell you the truth.”

“Which is?” he asked reluctantly.

“Roberto! Potpie! Now!” Cimil barked and then returned to her conversation. “You think a vampire with that sort of hearing would get that the microwave’s beckoning him to bring me my savory snack.”

“Cimiiil? Truth!” Zac growled.

“Truth? Truth? Oh, shucks. Where did I put it this time? Hold on, brother. Now let me see… Oh, look! I found an original bionic man doll!”

Zac heard clanks and crashing in the background.

“Where the hell are you, Cimil?”

“Popping tags with Roberto,” she replied.

“Popping what?” he asked.

Cimil growled. “You shame Macklemore—I’m at a thrift store. Where else would a goddess find a microwave for her potpie and new pair of pink hot pants? And a Lee Majors doll! Score!”

Zac felt his face simmer with red-hot anger. “I’m going to hunt you. Then I’m going to rip out your—”

“Truth! I found it! Here is it. The truth is that everything is going according to plan,” she said.

“You mean I won’t be tried for treason? I still have a chance to win Penelope away from that prick of a brother?”

“No. Not that plan. The other plan.”

What the fuck?
“Mind explaining.” Now Zac wanted to retch.

“Yes. I mind. But I will tell you this: everything will work out as it should, brother. Now, do you remember when I told you to make sure you had a safe place to hide and to tell no one of its whereabouts? Where is it?” she asked.

“I’m not telling you anything.” No. He’d never trust Cimil again. And if it was the last thing he did, he’d make her pay.

“Fine. Be that way. Where’s the love? Seriously. All right, go to your hiding place and stay there until you are found.”

“Who’s going to find me?” he asked.

“Well, I am, silly,” she replied. “Do you think I’d let you get away with what you’ve done? Tootles.”

“But I did what you—!” The call ended and Zac had the distinct feeling that he’d just been duped into doing Cimil’s evil handiwork. Maybe he should go to his brethren and confess immediately before things got any worse. Wouldn’t they understand this situation? He couldn’t help that he loved Penelope, and he’d be damned to simply stand by and watch that son-of-a-bitch Kinich break her heart over and over again.

Gods fucking dammit.
This situation was beyond screwed. Because now Penelope hated him.

“Driver, to the airport, please. The international terminal.” Zac would never forgive Cimil for this. Ever.

Ixtab entered Kinich’s bedroom and groaned with frustration at the sight of Penelope stretched across red satin sheets next to an immobile and much improved but still slightly battered body. With her long, dark hair braided and the floral dress she wore, it looked as though she planned to take Kinich for a picnic the moment he woke. Obviously, Penelope would be the fried chicken. And the potato salad. And apple pie.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Ixtab barked. “It’s been three days now, and he might wake up at any second. And remember, until we break Zac’s handiwork, you’re still Kinich’s favorite treat.”

Penelope didn’t move from Kinich’s resting form. “I’m not leaving.” She lovingly stared at his bruised face.

How could she look at the man like she wanted to ravish him? He was a mess.

Yes. No thanks to you.
Ixtab winced. Why was she always causing everyone around her so much pain?

“Penelope, I want you to know that I’m really sorry about this. You, Zac, Kinich. Especially Kinich. I didn’t want to let him fall, but—”

“You don’t need to explain. You did what you had to do and saved Antonio. Kinich will survive.”

“Yeah. Lucky for him that moving truck broke his fall.”
Ouch. That really had to hurt.

“What matters is that we’ll get another chance. I’m just glad Viktor and my mom decided to take a vacation from Euro Disney to come check on me.” Penelope paused. “That sounded weird, didn’t it?”

Yes, it had sounded weird. But these days, weird was the new normal. And she was right; it had been one hell of a crowd control job—sixty people’s memories had to be wiped. And then there was that whole saving Kinich and Antonio thing. So, yeah, bet your sweet, icky vampires she’d been happy they had stopped by for a visit.

“How’s Antonio doing, by the way?” Penelope asked.

Ixtab shrugged. “Still asleep. Viktor thinks I messed up the transformation because I touched Antonio right before he drank the blood.” She scratched her temple over her dark veil.

Ixtab still couldn’t comprehend how she’d touched Antonio without preparing herself or saying her chant. And then—
wow!
—there’d been that very odd thing with their souls, lights ebbing and flowing from one to the other. Perhaps it had been due to the stress of the situation. Stranger things had been known to happen when it came to her gifts.

Well, she wouldn’t risk contact again. Vampires clearly weren’t immune to her powers. Case in point, Kinich. And it was just as well, because vampires were revolting—except for her brother, of course (poor, poor Kinich), who was only temporarily revolting because he looked like a giant heap of steak tartare.
No thanks to you.
But all other vampires? Ick. They were dead, and she hated death. Well, not hated it exactly; however, to find death attractive? Nope on that. Seriously. How could humans be so obsessed with them? Vampires were lepers. Worse than lepers.

Zombie lepers with missing limbs
. Ixtab shivered. She liked humans. Alive, full of light and warmth, and she especially admired the ones who laughed. Francisco had been that way. His laugh had been contagious. It was the reason she’d fallen in love with the mortal.

And the reason he died.

Ugh! Stop that. You’re like a lame one-woman execution squad who keeps firing on herself.

“So, what will happen to Kinich when he wakes up?” Penelope asked. “Will he still want to kill himself?”

Ixtab shook her head. “I don’t think so. Although I don’t have experience with vampires, and Kinich is the first I’ve ever tried to cleanse. I believe I extracted all of the bad juju.” Ixtab looked at her watch: 4:44 p.m. The winter sun would set in one minute. “Shoot. I need to go. I want to be there when Antonio wakes up—if he wakes up—and you really can’t stay here alone. We need to figure out how to break Kinich from wanting your—”

“I’ll stay with her.” Penelope’s mother stood in the doorway. Like usual, she wore something light and cheery. Today it was white leather pants, white suede boots, and a white cashmere sweater. She’d nailed the ex–angel vampire look.

“Just be careful,” Ixtab warned. “I’ll be back in a few—”

Suddenly, Kinich flew from the bed and tackled Penelope.

“Kinich!” Ixtab shrieked as Penelope’s mother jumped on Kinich’s back, but he was too strong. He chomped down on Penelope’s neck, and she screamed in terror.

An agonizing wail burst from Kinich’s mouth and flames exploded from his lips. He dropped to the floor, taking Julie down with him.

Holy shit.

Within seconds the flames died, but Kinich lay writhing in pain.

Ixtab stripped away her veil and handed it to Julie.

Julie paused for a moment and gaped at Ixtab.

“Here. Press it to Penelope’s neck.” Ixtab wiggled the veil in front of Julie’s face.

Julie blinked and then turned her attention to Penelope and inspected her neck. “It’s just a scratch. Are you okay, baby?”

Penelope burst out with hysterical laughter, tears pouring from her eyes.

Lips charred and resembling two lumps of coal, Kinich sat up. He stared at the wall like he’d been thumped over the head with a flaming sledgehammer.

“Mind telling me what’s so funny, Penelope?” Ixtab asked, catching her breath and seriously trying not to freak. Yes, gods freaked. More often than any one of them would ever admit.

“He can’t drink my—my—oh, God, it’s just so funny!” She rolled from side to side on her back. “He can’t bite me. I’ve got sunlight flowing through my veins. I’m Kryptonite!”

Ixtab scratched her head and exchanged glances with Julie. All this time, Penelope had been right; Kinich couldn’t hurt her. The Universe had seen to that. How was it possible that a quasi-mortal got one leg up on her in the “right department”?

Penelope stopped laughing and looked at Kinich. Potent beams of fury radiated from her eyes toward his.

“Well, I’m sure you two have a lot to catch up on.” Julie scrambled to her feet and looked at Ixtab. “Let’s give them some privacy.”

“But—Uhh… is it safe to leave her alone?” Ixtab asked.

“I think the question is, is it safe for him?” Julie replied.

“You son of a bitch!” Penelope dove straight for Kinich and began pounding his chest with her fists, causing tiny bursts of fireballs.

Hopefully Helena and Niccolo had ample fire insurance for the building.

Ixtab made for the door behind Julie while Penelope let loose with a verbal avalanche of “How dare yous” and “You damned idiot! Don’t you ever leave me again!” and “What the hell were you thinking becoming a vampire?… I’ll kill you myself if you ever pull that crap again” and “How could you bite me! Jerk!”

Ixtab followed Penelope’s mother out into the hall and closed the front door.