Vampires Need Pedicures Too (A Paranormal Romance) (3 page)

Tim smiled at her, “It can be
, but not with me
, not too much anyway
- t
he latter, not the former.
”

“So does anything get it right?  Like TV shows
or movies
?”

“
Movies
, let’s see.  M
ost of th
em are
all wrong
too, just
like I said
about everything els
e
.  Well, Interview with a Vampire came pretty close to be fair
, apart from the whole sun thing
.  But I’m not a big Anne Rice fan, oh who am I shittin
g
,
I
never read
the
book
-
I
saw the
movie.
”

“I like
her books.”

“Read a lot, huh?”

“I work at the Library, yes, I read
-
a
-
lot,” she smiled.  “So what did you think of the movie?”

“It
was cool, great acting and all.  Now I’m not a homophobe or nothin
g
.”

“Which means you are about to say something homophobic, right?”

He studied her cautiously, but
couldn’t help himself and
said it anyway
,
“A
fter they killed off Kirsten it turned into a sausage fest there at the end.  I’m just sayin
g
.
”

“A s
ausage fest?  Really?
  Aren’t you a little old to be pledging to a fraternity?
  I wouldn’t have thought a vampire would be afraid of homosexuality, the books always make
you all seem at least bi-sexual, but that’s wrong
too
?
”

He lo
oked away, slightly embarrassed, “Maybe.”

Holly grinned at his discomfort, “Hmmm, so how about a s
take through the heart?”

“Sucks, but no, not going to get the job done.”

“Crosses?”

“
Crosses?  Ok
ay
, let me say t
his about crosses,” Tim began, regaining his composure, “
Where has human rationality gone on this one? 
I never did understand
it,
it
’
s like all of the writers were smoking something, if you know what I mean.”

“I hear tell, yes.”

“Look, t
he cross is an icon of Jesus, right?
”

“Right,
so?”

“So,
so
v
ampires are
way, way
older than Moses, so, uh
- c
rosses don’t
do a goddamn thing to
us
, pun intended
.
”

Tim watched
Holly
listen,
her eyes sparkling in the candlelight
, an increasingly pleasant distraction
.

“
We are, like, any other species on earth.  Well, we are the top species
, top of the food chain so to speak
,
king of the jungle and all that,
but still, just another critter filling one of Darwin’s niche’s
.
”

“I think the idea is that you are evil,
children of
Satan, that sort of thing.”

“Satan?  Nope, no Satan.”

“Isn’t it a Curse?”

“I suppose you could call it that, though most vampires think of it as a blessing, so we may have a perspective issue here, just saying.”

“
So religion has nothing to do with anything?”

“Nothing at all, well, our enemies over the centuries have usually been Church cultists, but vampires as a species, nope.”

“What makes you a vampire then?  I mean, if it isn’t Satan or a curse, is it a virus?”

“Actually, that’s the best way to think about it.  When you
’re
turned into a vampire, it’s
like
a fundamental change at the DNA level
or something
.  A very small change
I’m told
, but enough.”

“How long does it take?  To change I mean?”

“Perhaps we should save that discussion for a different day?”

“Or evening?”

Tim smiled, “Yes, or evening.”

“
So
w
hat’s it really like?”

“Can’t
really
explain what it’s like, but I can tell you the real stuff.”

Holly
rested her chin back on
her
hands and stared wide eyed
fawning attention, but to be honest, she was rather curious
.

“Stop that,” Tim said

Holly
grinned, but didn’t stop.

“Okay, the real stuff. 
First off
-
the blood thing?
”

She stared expectantly.

“Yep, t
otally true.  Any mammal’s blood works, but something about human blood makes it tastier
, more
nutritious
- less fatty
or something
.
”

Holly
smirked
, but didn’t interrupt.

“
Like
,
you can live on
cheap grocery store
tacos, but a real Mexican
is better.”

“You mean Mexican food?”

“What did I say?”

“Never mind
,
”
Holly
found her cheeks beginning to ache from all of the grinning
.

Tim looked slightly bewildered, Holly thought i
t c
harming.

“Are you stronger than humans?”

“Way, w
e are wic
ked strong,
really, fast and strong. 
Not throw cars around strong or
break the sound ba
rrier fast
mind you
.  Ever notice that in
the shows, like True Blood?  Va
m
pires go runnin
g
off
cle
a
r across the goddamn county in like a second,
defying physics and natural laws.”

“
Natural laws? 
Seriously?  You’re a vampire, what do natural laws have to do with anything?  Besides,
I
totally
lo
ve
that show
and I don’t care what you say about it.”

“
I bet you do, probably like Jessica the best, huh?”

“Maybe.
 
I see I’m not the only
one
watching
.
 
So that reminds me, what about werewolves?  Oh, or other supernatural stuff?
”
Holly wiggled her fingers in the air as she asked.

“
Yeah, ther
e’s
weird stuff out there.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t understand all of it anymore than you do.  Vampires sense things at a deeper level than humans, but doesn’t mean we get it.”

Holly thought about that for a moment, “And werewolves?”

“Well, we don’t have a
n
eternal fucking
feud with
them.
”

“
Does that mean they are real?

“I didn’t say that.”

“Inferred?”

“
Not necessarily
.”

“
You
’re
being intentionally irritating. 
Honestly,
are they real or not?
”

“Y
eah
.”

“You’ll protect me if any unreal werewolves show up?”

“Yes,” he said it quickly and earnestly.

Holly
’s heart skipped a beat just then, she was warm all over. 
She
studied
his face again.  He was very ordinary this Tim.  She felt that if she took her eyes off of him in a crowd, she would never be able to spot him again, but
then again, there was
something about him
that
touched her and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Can I ask you a question?” she prodded.

“Sure.”

“Why do you swear all the time and
talk and
act like this?
  It’s not you
, I can tell
. 
And what’s the deal with that cap?”

Tim smiled, “No comment, but the swearing, it bothers you?”

“Yes
, seems unnecessary don’t you think, for someone your age I mean?
  You sound like you are on one of those reality television shows.”

“I apologize and shall try to refrain from such vulgarities in the future,” he smiled
and tilted his head toward her in fealty
.

“And take off that hat!” she laughed.

Tim reached up and pulled off the cap and let his brown nondescript hair fall to his shoulders and ran his fingers through it.

“Better?”

“Better,” she replied, “you desperately need some conditioner
though,” she paused and tilted
her head slightly,
curls falling across her shoulder, “Y
ou know
I can’t let the
‘
no comment
’
thing go
right
, why the act?”

Tim’s eyes drifted across the room at the other couples, and then sighed.
  He wanted to share, wanted her to know more, but at the same time he was scared.  He suddenly felt very foolish.

“Remember I said I was with the circus for a while?”

“Yes.”

“So this was
nineteen forty-seven
.  We were traveling through
New Mexico
,
Oklahoma
and up into
Kansas
.  It was hot that summer.
  We travel
ed around in trucks and put up
small tent cit
ies
for the shows. 
Sometimes we
had
our
own tent
, sometimes we shared.
  The circus back then was full of misfits, you know?

“
People coming and going,
like
c
astaways from the rest of society, sometimes they got rescued, most didn’t.  I felt, it was like home in a way.  Not like back in Mass, but I belonged
just the same
.

“Mass?  You mean
Massachusetts
?  Is that where you’re from?”

He nodded his head and then continued,
“Anyway, t
his guy shows up one day outside of
Clovis
, don’t know
w
here he came from or where he disappeared
to
at the end of the summer.
 
He was really tall, a giant back then, maybe six foot seven or eight, and solid, not fat, but, you know - solid.
 
He was a clown, always had his makeup on, white face, red lips, some green and red designs around his eyes, r
ed tipped nose and a red Mohawk,
”
Tim motioned with his hands as he explained.

“Sounds scary.”

“
He was intimidating for most people
, before you got to know him, but the kids saw right through it - they loved him
on sight, they followed him around like the Pied Piper
.
  T
he thing is
-
he was kind and gentle and always working to make people laugh
.
No
,
not just laugh
-
it was more than that, deeper
. 
But he wasn’t entertaining, spreading good will or whatever just
at the shows, but everywhere
, he was always like
that
all the time
.
  Not sure what his name was, we called him Ayjay.”