Vampires of the Sun (5 page)

              Turning away from the street and going into the condo complex, Norah had goose bumps on her skin and a faint, fluttering feeling in her head. It wasn’t that she was afraid of the dark or the night but she was beginning to think she might be becoming a bit unstable. Hearing things on the wind and going to meet complete strangers who had first taunted her before offering her a strange kind of protection wasn’t normal. Talking to Mauve would have made her feel better but now she doubted what Mauve could say to her thanks to these strangers. What if the strangers were figments of her imagination and it was all a ploy from her erratic mind to get her stop going to see her shrink.

              Shaking her head with force that made her neck hurt, the best Norah could decide to do in order to deal with whatever was making her feel crazy was put it out of her head and focus on something else entirely. She showered and slept cozily in her bed, effects of alcohol creeping up on her enough to make her drowsy.

              A parched mouth and a small headache greeted Norah upon awaking and she promised herself that she would refrain from ever drinking again if it meant feeling like garbage. A little pink tongue licked out at her toes, waking her from a dead slumber. Maxine was slobbering all over Norah’s feet in an effort to clean them. With a frown, Norah got up and showered, putting on some black Stella McCartney sweat pants that matched a loose James Perse V-neck cotton shirt. On her feet went the only pair of tennis shoes she owned; Jeremy Scott teddy bear tennis shoes. She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and downed two glasses of water before packing up her lunch, some treats for Maxine, and a day bag filled with things to go.

              Maxine went for her leash all too happily and let Norah lead her down the hallway to the elevator and down to the garage and into the car. Ignoring the screeching rubber on cement sound that her car made every time she left to go out into the city, Norah headed for Barton Springs. She had told herself that the perfect cure for all of the crazy in her life was ignorance. Ignorance is bliss right?

              The park was congested with people but Norah still found a spot to lay out her blanket and watch Maxine run in circles excitedly. Norah couldn’t keep the smile off of her face when she looked at Maxine taking pleasure in the simple things like gnawing on a stick. She would sit down and lick her fluffy white fur before standing up at attention and looking at whatever dog was coming closest. When the dog had passed, Maxine would sit down again and either scratch herself or chew on bark or the chew toy Norah had brought along with them.

              Norah focused on reading her book, taking moments to glance up at the people in the park and see how they were also enjoying their own day off from work or school. There was a lovely couple laying together, sunning themselves not too far from herself. Kids were playing catch with their parents and on the far side of the park, Norah could see some college age guys playing touch football.

              The sun felt amazing against Norah’s skin, warming and chasing away all of the bad feelings that seemed to be welling up inside of her. Relaxing felt like just what she needed.

              Getting up on her knees, she goaded Maxine into playing a round of tug of war. It was too easy to pull the little rope toy away from Maxine and have her go fetch it and come back. She didn’t even mind Maxine nipping at her in anger for not being able to keep it in her mouth.

              Hunger was creeping up on Norah the longer they stayed and she thought about a lovely outdoor café she knew of where she could take Maxine. Packing up her stuff, a black spot on the horizon caught her attention. Behind one of the heftier trees in the park, she noticed a guy kneeling down, facing her direction. She couldn’t be sure but it looked like he had a camera. Unnerved, Norah packed up her stuff more quickly. The man’s gaze was masked by sunglasses but it looked like he was following her with his eyes all the same. Once she’d reached her car, Norah sped off. With the events of the last evening and the strange man in the distance, Norah thought she might have a stalker.

              An empty ring tone greeted her ear as she tried to dial her father’s number. For the first time that she could remember, Norah wanted his opinion on whether or not she was being overly paranoid. She didn’t actually expect that he would pick up but the feeling of being let down was all too real when he didn’t. Norah steeled her nerves and hoped that Jack would call her instead since she gave him her number.

              “Tell me about your weekend, Norah. I’d like to know how you put yourself in active situations involving other people. Don’t spare any details.” Mauve’s soothing voice reached out as Norah opened her eyes and focused on the carpet. She was determined to do a bit of sleuthing on her own.

              “Can you tell me something first? I’ve had something on my mind since our last visit. You know my anxiety meds? I’m appreciative that I don’t have to go far in order to get them filled as it’s done in-office but I was trying to do some research on side-effects this weekend. I wanted to know what a side-effect might be if I decided I wanted to have an alcoholic beverage. If I spend the summer with my parents in Paris, since I’ll be of age while I’m there to have a glass or two of wine and I do continue to take the meds, I don’t want to worry about any adverse effects.”  She’d thought about how to bring up the meds since Saturday and thought she’d come up with a pretty convincing lie if she had to judge herself.

              “If you spend the summer with your parents, there won’t be any issues if you have a bit of wine. But all alcohol should be drunk in moderation. I don’t think it would be a good idea to go out and have an entire bottle of wine. I wouldn’t advise you to drink before then though. Keep your body clean and healthy. A healthy body means a healthier mind.” The tone of Mauve’s voice was reprimanding although the words were kind and she had this way about her when she spoke that was eternally matronly.

              “What’s in the pills anyway? What brand are they?” Norah questioned, not wanting to drop the conversation.

              “I wonder what your cause of concern is all of a sudden. You never cared to know about them before.” The flow of the conversation was deflected back to Norah.

              “Our conversation last week really got me to thinking. about all sorts of things really. Mostly I thought about what you said about being an adult. You wanted me to think about how I should make a decision about how my life will progress. A thought struck me that I don’t really think about things very in depth. Whether it is about my future, the relationship I have with my parents, or about how I just willingly come to these weekly sessions. I should care about what kind of pills I’m ingesting shouldn’t I? I should care about learning the risks and what activities I might do and how they could affect me. Don’t teens go wild when they get to college? Even if I don’t visit my parents and attend University, I’m bound to get invited to parties. I’m not stupid enough to believe I’m ugly nor am I unaware of men’s attentions. If I go to a party and get sloshed, I should be wary. What if I decided to turn to actual drugs? How could doing molly or smoking a little weed affect me if I continue taking these pills?” The plan to discuss her medication had come from a lack of communication with Jack. She regretted bringing it up, realizing how difficult it was becoming to get a little bit of simple information but she was angry with Josh. He hadn’t called her to discuss anything. She was worried her mind had concocted him and he didn’t exist.

              “Norah, did you stop taking your medicine? You seem frantic. Maybe I should up the dosage on your medication. I thought this regimen was working well for you. Would you like something to calm you down? I can give you a sedative that’s light enough to keep you functional if you like?” Panicking at the suggestion, Norah frantically shook her head no.

              “No, I don’t want more medication. I don’t want to take medication at all.” Norah emphasized her sentence by elongating the word more. It sounded childish to her ears after she said it.

              “Please calm yourself Norah. You’re acting strangely manic. Something must have happened over the last week to give you worry. What’s caused you to become so upset?”

              “I feel like I’m going crazy. I heard a voice the other night when I was walking home from dinner downtown. I made a friend and I’m not sure he existed. It felt too real to be fake though.” Nails dug into her hand, leaving half-moons marked with red. The words she wanted to say weren’t coming to her tongue fast enough and Norah knew her words sounded confusing.

              “Don’t lie to me Norah. You met someone who made you question my help.” Mauve was angry. When Norah looked up into her older, yet still smooth-skinned and beautiful face, it was lined with disappointment and contempt. “I have many enemies who do not believe in my methods of therapy. You shouldn’t listen to the rats who want to bring us down.” Her tone was scaring Norah. She’d never seen Mauve lose her temper like that. She looked ready to kill.

              “I’m going to leave.” Norah said, standing up from the crimson velvet couch, moving quickly to the door. She heard Mauve standing behind her, smoothing out her crisp, black skirt and jacket. When she had the door closed behind her, she darted out of the building Mauve’s office shared with a night-time dry cleaner and an afterhours medical clinic. She went straight to her car, catching her heart beating as fast as when she had met Dawn for the first time. She was beginning to learn what true fear was. When she sat down in the driver’s seat, Norah didn’t stop to let her body calm down from the nauseous feeling that was forming before she drove away, wishing she could talk to Jack or her father or someone in a position of power who could help her.

Sitting in her room with Maxine curled up on the bed, Norah stared out the window as the sun set. She wished she could just go to sleep and stay that way. Her worries could all just disappear and when she woke, it would be 100 years into the future.  Before the sky was completely dark, Norah took Maxine on a short walk so she could go to the bathroom and gave the doorman a nod on the way in and out.

When the sky was completely dark and she was back inside, Norah heard her cell phone ringing in the kitchen. She ran to it, hoping it was Jack. She was greeted by her father’s voice. “Dad” She said in surprise and elation.

              “Norah, what’s this about you storming out of your therapist’s office? You know you have to visit her in order to stay in school. You’re so close to graduating. Why would you mess that up?” Her father’s voice sounded cool and angry.

              “Dad, she went off on me. All I wanted to know was what was in the pills she gives me and she freaked out. I didn’t feel safe so I left.” Norah knew she was leaving out details and she knew her dad wasn’t the type that she could appeal to his tender side but she felt the need to liberate herself.

              “I’ll talk to her about her attitude but you have to keep going to see her. I expect to hear a good report after next week. You’re worrying me, Kiddo.” His voice had changed from the normal apprehensive attitude he took with her to a strangely doting parental voice. Norah didn’t have a bad relationship with her parents but this new attitude her dad was taking wasn’t normal and he never called her pet names. It was only ever Norah. She hung up without another word and just sat in silence wondering what to do. Why did she always bother with wanting to call her dad? He never gave her good news and she knew that he wouldn’t have been sympathetic but she still wished and hoped every single time. In frustration, she punched the pillow on the couch, letting out a small grunt of anger.

              Answering the phone call from her father alerted Norah to a missed message for keira10001, her friend in New York City.

             
//u//norahsinfinitefashionlist

              Hey! I see you haven’t been posting lately. What’s up? Everything okay?

              As for me, I’m so angry at my brother. I told you how Wallace always gets in trouble right? I’ve been saving for this re-sale Chanel pant suit I saw at Buffalo. It’s still amazingly expensive but I doubt I would ever be able to ever buy a different one. It’s missing a button but I can sew a new one on. Anyways, my brother stole half of my savings to buy a dime of coke. I’m amazingly angry. He promised he’d give it back when he saw how angry I was but I know he never will. There goes that aspiration.

              Anyways, I hope all is well with you.

              Keira10001 was the only person she knew right now that wasn’t making Norah immensely frustrated. She couldn’t help but smile at the message and immediately started typing a reply.             

Jumping with a ragged breath as the phone rang again, she made sure to check the caller I.D. before answering it this time. It was an unknown caller. “Hello?” She answered apprehensively.

              “Is this Norah? It’s Jack,” a comforting voice on the other end spoke.

              “Jack! Thank sweet baby Jesus you called. I was getting worried.” Norah was starting to hyperventilate over the phone. She had to put it down and calm herself, listening to Jack ask if she was okay and if she was still there. “I’m here. I’m sorry. I’m freaking out. I might have messed up big time and I can’t calm down.”

              “Can you meet to talk? I can come over? I’m already downtown anyways.” He sounded genuinely concerned for her. Something inside of Norah clicked. Even if Jack wasn’t real, Jack was calming so why bother trying to deny herself that small pleasure.