Van, Becca - Alpha Panthers [Terra-form 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (10 page)

“I love you, April, and so does Gage. He is an Alpha male just like I am, but his communication skills suck. We have the responsibility of the entire panther clan to contend with before our own. We are not infallible, we do make mistakes. After all, we are part human. I’m sure we will make mistakes in the future, as well, just as you will. Will you want us to hold a grudge against you when you have erred? Would you want us to not forgive you for being human? Please give us another chance. We want you to be happy and healthy. We want to see that spark of fire return to your eyes when you look at us. I know if you asked him to help you find your way back home, Gage would help you. He loves you so much he would be willing to let you go if that is what you want. I love you, too. It would break my heart if you left us, but if that is what you truly wish, what your heart truly desires, then we will do our damnedest to make it happen. Please, will you give us another chance?” Saxon asked. He leaned down, placed a kiss on her forehead, stood, and left.

* * * *

Ben took Saxon’s place on the bench, but instead of taking hold of his mate’s hand as his friends had, he scooped her up into his lap and cradled her against chest. He didn’t speak at all, just relished having her back in his arms.

He just held her, offering her the comfort he knew she desperately needed. It didn’t take long for the dam to break. Ben pulled April tightly against him and rocked back and forth as she sobbed out all her hurt. Ben knew April was one of those people who turned silent and kept her distance when she had been hurt. He wondered if she had ever had anyone to lean on, to help her and listen to her when she needed comfort. He had seen the pain in her eyes and knew she had tried to lock her emotions away so she couldn’t be hurt again. He was the only one who knew how deeply Gage had wounded his mate when he had berated her for defending herself. His lack of trust was what had hurt her the most. He knew there was still a long way to go before they really knew each other. He only hoped April would give them the opportunity to do so. The storm eventually petered out, but April didn’t try to move away from him, and he was content just to feel her in his arms once more. He knew her heart was big enough to love all three of them, if she would just trust herself. She was fighting herself more that she was fighting the three of them. She obviously lacked confidence in her own decisions and didn’t trust her own heart. He wondered who had hurt her so much to make her doubt herself. He would like nothing better than to find the bastard and rip his heart from his chest. April needed time to learn the value of her own self-worth. He, Gage, and Saxon had to find a way to show her how valuable she really was to them, and then maybe she would begin to believe it herself and trust her own heart. He looked down into her relaxed face. She had totally exhausted herself with her fit of tears. It didn’t bother him, though. He wanted to keep a hold of her for as long as he could.

Chapter Eight

April seemed more like her old self after she had cried a storm over Ben’s chest, drenching his hard pectorals with her salty tears. She had known the storm would break eventually. She was one of those people who bottled everything up until all of a sudden the walls would crumble. She hated the way she was, but she could do nothing about it. She had learned to keep everything to herself. She’d never had any brothers or sisters growing up. Her parents had been too self-absorbed with their own lives to worry about their own daughter’s well-being. They had been more concerned about keeping up the appearance they thought was required of them by their elite neighbors.

April could have told them those snobby people weren’t worth it, but she didn’t want to waste her breath. Nothing she said had ever been acknowledged by her parents. They were too busy spending money like it was going out of style, renovating a house that didn’t need a makeover, and changing from one expensive car to another, just to be like their medical-professional and socialite neighbors. Little did April know, they had gone through her mother’s inheritance and were in dire straits financially.

Everything had come out when her father had killed her mother and then turned the gun on himself. She had learned her true self-worth then. Her parents’ message to her had been that money and lifestyle were way more important than their own flesh and blood. It had taken months for her parents’ lawyers to wade through the bills accumulated by her parents’ lavishness. April had been happy not having to pay back a debt from her parents’ lack of discipline and had been able to start her life over. In the end, everything her parents owned had just covered the cost of all the bills, giving April room to breathe and finally start a life of her own, unencumbered by her parents’ debt. She had picked herself up, dusted herself off, and worked her way through college, ending up with a degree in English. When she had finished college, she had been lucky enough to land the first job she had applied for, working for a small publishing company. She had a small, cheap, run-down apartment, but to her it was a mansion. She had earned the money herself and didn’t have to answer to anyone or hide her true feelings. She had finally been able to be herself. Everything had changed again the last night she had said good-bye to Olivia. Her self-worth was yet again taking a beating. She had wondered if she would ever fit in and be accepted for who she really was.

April knew she had a temper. Her anger was always slow to be ignited, but when it was, whoever was around her had better get out of the way. Olivia was the only person who had ever accepted April for who she was. Now it seemed Ben understood her more than she understood herself. He’d held her when she needed it most and let her cry out her pain and frustration. She hadn’t even realized that was what she had needed until she was in his arms sobbing her heart out. He seemed to be more in tune to her emotions than she was. She wondered how she had gotten so lost and lacked trust to accept her own intuition.

Once April was done with her self-pity party, her brain began to process all her mates had told her. Saxon had said he and Gage loved her. She had believed Saxon. She could see the emotion in his eyes when he had declared his love for her, and she knew with her whole being that Ben loved her as much as she loved him. She had feelings for Saxon. Who wouldn’t? He, Gage, and Ben were all the epitome of Alpha males with the faces of Adonis and the bodies of Hercules. She was still uncertain where she stood with Gage, though. He was such an arrogant, dominant male, she wondered if they would ever get along or if they would always be wary of each other and end up at each other’s throats.

All she’d ever wanted was to be loved and accepted for who she was. Was Gage even capable of giving her that? She had no idea. She knew she should give him another chance. She knew she had made mistakes over her short lifetime and that the only way for anyone to learn was from making their own mistakes and then trying to make up for their transgressions, to right wrongs the best way they could and ask for forgiveness. She knew deep down she loved all her mates equally and she was going to forgive Gage.

April sighed as she entered the large dining banquet room. Instead of taking her usual seat at the back of the room, she headed for the raised dais and took her seat between Ben and Gage. She became aware of eyes focusing on her and the noise in the room diminishing to a low level. The clan members assigned to the duty of feeding everyone began to bring in platters of food. They started with their table and then moved to the back of the room until every table had platters of food along the middle of it. April wondered why they were always served first instead of the clan members. Saxon had said it was Gage’s and his job to look after the clan, and April thought the other clan members should be served first, as they were the ones that kept the palatial household running efficiently, but she was too timid to make her thoughts known.

It wasn’t until the words Gage had stated to her earlier that morning popped into her brain that she found a little of her famous backbone.
“I want you to be happy, April.”

April turned to Gage and looked into his face. The sight of his handsome face, sexy eyes, and the muscles rippling beneath his skin as he moved took her breath away. She looked into his eyes and saw the heat in them for her as he looked back at her. She cleared her throat so she wouldn’t squeak when she began to talk.

“I was wondering why we are served food first when the reason there is food on the table for us to eat is a result of the members of the clan. Wouldn’t it be prudent to serve your people first and serve yourself last, to show them you appreciate all the hard work and effort they put in for each meal we eat?” April asked.

The smile was slow to emerge across Gage’s face, but when it did, it took April’s breath away. He looked at her with such hunger, she squirmed in her seat to try and relieve the ache that began throbbing in her pussy. She lowered her eyes to the tablecloth, hoping Gage hadn’t seen the reaction in her eyes. Gage surprised April yet again. He stood to his feet and waited until the room became quiet. All eyes were turned his way as he began to address the members of his clan.

“I have yet again another reason to apologize. This time to you, the members of our clan.” Gage paused as he took April’s hand in his own and gently pulled her to her feet to stand beside him. “My mate, April, your Alpha female, has pointed out to me the amount of work everyone in this clan does to keep my household running smoothly. From now on, you will be served the food first in appreciation for the diligent hard work you all put in as members of this clan. You have my gratitude, as well as that of my brother’s and Ben’s from the bear clan. But most of all, you have earned the respect and gratitude of your Alpha female, April. It was her suggestion to have the head table served last. From now on, the law is to serve yourselves first and your Alphas last.”

April couldn’t believe what Gage had just done on her behalf. He had listened to her suggestion and then acted on it immediately. The cheering of the crowd diminished as she stood looking at Gage in shock. She could feel herself being pulled into his eyes and never wanted to let go. She felt worthy again, for the first time in such a long time she didn’t know how to deal with it. She pulled her hand away from Gage and ran to the side doors and out into the garden. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. Happiness, love, and joy created a huge lump in her chest, and she tried to swallow and breathe around it without breaking down and bawling like a baby. Her chest and throat were so tight she thought she’d never be able to get enough air into her lungs. She found herself in her usual place, sitting on the bench seat near the fish pond. She breathed in the clean, humid air until the tight constriction left her chest and throat. She didn’t hear Gage following her until he sat down next to her and pulled her up onto his lap. April didn’t fight him. She was so tired of fighting to keep her emotions locked away. So instead she snuggled into his chest, wrapped her arms around his waist, and held him tight.

* * * *

“You have earned the respect and appreciation of my clan, April. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. You make me feel ashamed of the selfishness in which I have acted. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I don’t ever want to lose you. You have earned my respect and gratitude far more than any other person in this clan, including my own brother. I need you to keep my head from getting too large. Please, give me another chance, baby. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you.” Gage pulled away from April so he could see her face. He could see the hunger behind her eyes as she stared up at him.

“I accept your apology. I, too, should be apologizing to you. I have learned over the years to keep my emotions locked away. I need to learn to communicate with you so my problems, fears, and hurt don’t compound until they explode out of me. You will need to be patient with me, as it will take a long time to undo the behavior I have had drummed into me since I was a small child. So, I, too, am sorry for the way I treated you,” April finished in a quiet voice.

Gage stared down into April’s eyes and was humbled by his mate’s acceptance of his faults as well as her own. He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. He only meant to give her a quick peck on the lips then lead her back into the banquet dining hall to eat. But the first taste of her after such a long drought was like trying to quench a massive thirst with a sip of water instead of the whole glass. Gage deepened the kiss. He slanted his mouth over hers again and again, thrusting his tongue into the depths of her moist cavern, his tongue dueling with her own. He growled low in his throat as his blood heated and set his body on fire. His hands began to roam over the curves of her body as he devoured her mouth.

Gage slid his hand beneath the hem of April’s short skirt, slowly inching his hand higher and higher. He withdrew his mouth from hers, staring into her eyes as he moved his hand the final few inches until he was cupping her hot, wet mound. The feel of her cream-dewed lips heated his blood even more, and he knew he needed to touch her, to bring her pleasure with his fingers. Otherwise he would fuck her in the garden, not caring if they were caught or not. He wanted to see her face turn slack with passion, to hear her moan as he pleasured her body. He wanted to give without taking for the first time in his life.

Gage slid his fingers through the slick folds of April’s sex, coating the tips of two fingers with her pussy juice, then worked his way up to the top of her slit. He slowly began to massage the little nub of sensitive nerves protruding at the top of her pussy with whisper-soft touches. When April thrust her hips up into his hand, he applied a little more pressure, making his fingers dance over her flesh. He leaned down, covering her lips with his own, taking her cries of passion into his own mouth. He ravaged her mouth as he fondled her cunt, the sound of her crying out with unrestrained delight as he pleasured her music to his ears. He moved his fingers back down to her hole and thrust them up into her tight, wet sheath. He pumped his fingers in and out of her pussy, over and over again, then placed his thumb over her clit, tapping it firmly. He held her body to his as April screamed into his mouth, her hips pumping up and down on his embedded fingers as she convulsed and pulsed, clamping down hard on his digits. He enhanced her pleasure, kept his fingers pumping until the last flutter of her muscles ceased. He finally withdrew his coated fingers and hand then lapped up every single drop of her cum. He couldn’t help his animal instincts and knew his mate could hear him purring as he lapped up the last of her cream.